Healing a Heart

by Amy Lillard

  “Maybe this is something I want to give you when we’re alone.”

  Her heart gave a weird thump in her chest. “This doesn’t have anything to do with sex, does it?”

  He laughed. “Methinks someone is a little undersexed these days.”

  “And it’s all your fault.” She ran a hand over her impossibly large stomach. She could barely walk down the hallway these days. Intimacy was completely out of the question. Oh, the days.

  He shook his head. “Nope, I just was responsible for the one baby. You’re responsible for the two. Simple genetics.”

  She sighed. He was right. Damn it, she hated when he was right. He squatted down in front of the Christmas tree, reaching to the back and pulling out a small rectangular box.

  He offered it to her, then pulled back slightly. “I know you make jewelry.” He shook his head. “I just wanted you to have something special from me.” He pushed the box into her hands.

  The wrapping paper was red foil with a beautiful gold ribbon. A bell had been tied up in the bow. She stared at it a full minute.

  “Open it,” he said. He sat down on the couch next to her.

  She slipped the bow from the package and carefully began to pull back the tape and wrapping paper.

  “Oh, come on. Open it.”

  Finally, she allowed herself to tear the paper. She opened the box to reveal a velvet case nestled inside. With trembling fingers, she pried open the case to reveal the most beautiful necklace she had ever seen. It was a heart pendant reminiscent of two people with their heads together. Three small jewels, one red and two pale blue, dangled off the point.

  “It’s our family,” Jake explained.

  She nodded, her throat clogged. It was all she ever wanted, to be part of a family, and it was the one thing she’d never been able to truly call her own.

  “We might have to change the blue stones. If you don’t decide to have those babies before the end of the month.” He chuckled. “But it’s no matter.”

  “It’s—it’s beautiful.” She threw her arms around his neck and hugged him close. He might have walls around his heart, but he was trying. And maybe one day they would come down. Maybe one day . . . maybe one day . . .

  She pulled back, and he took the box from her hands. “Let me put it on you.”

  “Because it matches my pajamas so well.”

  “That’s the most fun part of Christmas.”

  She lifted her hair off her neck so he could clasp the necklace behind her. Once it was in place, she couldn’t see the pendant. But she could feel it. She knew what it stood for. And that had tears rising in her eyes once again.

  “If I’d known it was going to make you cry this much, I would have never given it to you.”

  She shook her head. “Oh, no, you don’t. I’ll cry all I want. Thank you very much.”

  “The prerogative of a pregnant woman?”

  “You got it.” She fingered the necklace and smiled. “Your turn.”

  “Okay.”

  “Down there on the bottom. It’s wrapped in blue snowman paper.”

  He got down under the tree searching for the box. It wasn’t large and it took him a second to find it amid all the toys wrapped and ready for Wesley.

  “Here it is.”

  She didn’t think she’d ever been this nervous in her life as he started to tear that paper open. She wanted him to like her gift so much.

  He wadded up the paper and tossed it over one shoulder. She laughed at his childish antics. Then he slid the lid from the box and removed the cushioning tissue from the top.

  Then he stopped and stared into the box.

  She couldn’t read his expression. “They’re conchos.”

  “I know what they are.”

  “I looked at the ones on your saddle. You should be able to replace them. If you like these.”

  She had patterned the decorative silver discs after the ones already on his saddle. But these she had embossed with the Diamond Duvall Ranch brand. A diamond shape with a D in the center.

  “And there’s a smaller one for your hat.” Still he was quiet. “Jake?”

  He shook his head. “These are the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen.” He pulled her close, capturing her lips with his own. The kiss was sweet and chaste and all too quick.

  “I didn’t know what to get you.” She smiled. “You kind of have everything. But I thought this might be nice.”

  “They’re more than nice.”

  “I can make you some for your chaps too if you want.”

  He shook his head. “I can’t believe you made these.”

  “Are you sure you like them?”

  “I’m sure.” He pulled her close once again. He said he loved them, and he seemed almost stunned. She knew the craftsmanship was good, excellent even. Because that was what she’d been trained to do. And he had seen her work before. So she could only speculate that maybe his surprise had come from something else. Maybe she crossed a line she hadn’t known was there.

  They had exactly fifteen minutes to sit and watch the fire and enjoy a cup of coffee. Bryn heard the bedroom door shut first, then the running of feet, then Wesley burst into the family room. “It’s Christmas! It’s Christmas!” She jumped up and down, bouncing on the balls of her feet. “A bike! Look, Daddy! Santa brought me a bike!”

  She hopped on and pedaled the bike around the family room. “Why didn’t you wake me up?” She shouted with joy in the way only a five-year-old at Christmastime can do.

  Jake laughed at his daughter’s antics. “Be careful,” he said. “Don’t run into any walls.”

  “Yes, sir! Where’s Grandma Esther? Where’s Nana?”

  “Right here.” Evelyn entered the room, her eyes tired but her smile bright. Esther was right behind her.

  Wesley hopped off the bike and grabbed Evelyn’s hand. “Come on, Nana! Let’s open presents!”

  Jake frowned, but sent a little wink in Bryn’s direction. “I think we should have breakfast first.”

  Wesley stared at him wide-eyed, the bounce completely gone from her step. “Are you kidding me? Who eats breakfast on Christmas Day? I want to open presents!”

  “I don’t know,” Bryn added. “A nutritious breakfast is very important.”

  Wesley stopped, unsure if they were joking or not. She just stood there a second staring at them. “Please don’t do this to me.”

  Her words were so heartfelt that Bryn couldn’t keep a straight face any longer. She started to laugh. “Find a present and start handing them out.”

  “You want me to play Santa?”

  “If that means you hand out the presents, then yes,” Bryn said. “I can’t get down in the floor these days.”

  “Daddy usually hands them out.”

  Bryn looked to Jake, who shrugged. “I think you can handle the responsibility this year.”

  He leaned a little closer to Bryn. “This might keep her a little bit busier.”

  Bryn smiled as Wesley, in all her Christmas excitement, got down on all fours and started looking at gift tags. Before long she had every present out from under the tree and piled next to the person it belonged to. Of course the largest pile was hers and she sat down and promptly started to open them.

  There were a lot of typical Christmas gifts: sweaters, socks and underwear, and toys galore for Wesley. There were even a few under the tree for the twins. But since they didn’t know the gender, they were mostly educational toys for when they were a little older.

  “That’s from me,” Bryn told Wesley.

  She held the small box in her hands, then ripped into it with true Wesley gusto.

  “Be careful when you open it. You don’t want it to fall on the floor.”

  Wesley finally managed to get the box open and stared down at the object inside. She pulled the
crescent-shaped item from the box, holding it up with two fingers as if it might bite. “What is it?”

  “It’s for your hair.”

  Wesley’s eyes grew wide. She jumped to her feet and ran over to Bryn. “Can you show me how to use it?”

  Bryn laughed. “Turn around.”

  Wesley did as she asked. Bryn gathered her hair and began to wrap it around and through the intricate silver hair piece. To Bryn it resembled fingers with stars on the ends with a cubic zirconia in the center of each one to add some sparkle. When she was done, Wesley’s ponytail hung down her back but the curve of her head was accented by the silver.

  “How does it look?” Wesley asked, turning around in a circle as she tried to see the back of her head.

  Everyone laughed.

  Bryn stood and reached out a hand to Wesley. “Come on. I’ll show you in the bathroom mirror.” She took Wesley into the bathroom and showed her how to look in a hand mirror and use it to see the big mirror behind her.

  “Oh, it’s so beautiful,” Wesley said. “I look like a princess.” She flung her arms around Bryn and hugged her tight.

  “You are a princess,” Bryn told her. “Never forget that.”

  Wesley dropped a kiss on her cheek and hurried from the room. “Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! Miss Bryn said I’m a princess.”

  She might grow to regret that. Bryn chuckled and went back into the living room. Grandma Esther had just opened her present from Bryn, a brand-new cane with a molded silver horse head. The horse was depicted as running, its mane flowing wildly behind it.

  “It’s beautiful,” Jake’s grandmother said. “Thank you.”

  “You’ll be the envy of everybody at senior center card day.”

  Esther smiled. “I already am.”

  Bryn held her breath as Evelyn opened her present. Jake’s mother gasped, then looked back to Bryn. “This is beautiful.” She shook her head. “That’s not even an adequate word. It’s exquisite.”

  “It was the scene that got me drawing again. One of your horses.” It was a lapel pin, the horse bucking, but the shape was more like the horseshoe. It was an interesting study, Bryn thought. And the one person who would appreciate it the most was Evelyn Langston.

  “I don’t know what to say.”

  Bryn smiled. “There’s nothing to say.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Merry Christmas,” Bryn replied. Then she turned to Jake. “I never asked; are Jessie and Seth coming over? I have something for them too.”

  “They’ll be by later. I think they wanted to have their first Christmas by themselves at home.”

  Bryn remembered the secret Jessie had told her the day of Bryn’s wedding. It seemed like this would be their last Christmas alone.

  “Plus, it’s nearly impossible to keep Wesley out of the presents until anyone can get out here,” Evelyn added, her tone affectionate.

  Since all the presents were open except those for Seth and Jessie, Jake went out to do his morning chores. Ranch work didn’t stop just because it was Christmas Day. Bryn commissioned Wesley’s help, and together they picked up the mess of the Christmas gifts and took everyone’s Christmas presents to their room. Grandma Esther went to the kitchen to start breakfast, and Evelyn called Seth and Jessie to let them know they could come eat as well.

  Bryn stood at the door to the patio and looked out over the beautiful landscape. The sun was bright and the wind cold. It was a beautiful Christmas Day. She felt a twinge in her side and gave it a little rub. She must’ve tweaked a muscle when she was helping Wesley pick up all the wrapping paper.

  Jake came back in the house just in time for breakfast, and it seemed as if Seth had perfect timing as well. He and Jessie arrived as the last fried egg was slid on a plate.

  “Merry Christmas!” they cried as they came into the house. And once again Bryn was hit with that overwhelming sense of family. Would she ever get used to it?

  Hugs and kisses on the cheek went all around, then everyone sat down to the table to eat breakfast. The meal was half over when Seth stood and clinked his spoon against his juice glass.

  “I need your attention,” he said. “Jessie and I have an announcement.”

  Bryn ducked her head and smiled to herself. Jake bumped her shoulder and whispered in her ear. “How come I think you already know?”

  She gave a little shrug.

  “Jessie and I are having a baby.”

  Cheers went up all around the table. Bryn was so happy for them. Their family was growing.

  Another twinge tweaked her other side, and she rubbed it absently.

  “Are you okay?” Jake asked.

  “Yes. Just tired.”

  He shot her a worried frown, but didn’t say more. It had been a long couple of weeks for them all.

  They all got up and went back into the living room to watch Jessie and Seth open their presents. They had a little something for everyone as well, including two pair of tiny cowboy boots for the twins and an ultrasound picture for Evelyn.

  Bryn shifted uncomfortably as Jessie opened her present from Bryn. It was a hair piece similar to the one that she had given Wesley, though in the place of stars she had put leaves, the stones natural jade.

  “It’s for your hair,” Wesley explained. “Here. Let me show you.” She went behind Jessie and started to fix the woman’s hair. Though with all of Jessie’s curls Bryn was certain they would have to cut the thing out instead of actually making her hairdo.

  By some miracle, Wesley’s attempt to fix Jessie’s hair actually turned out. She was so proud of herself, the whole family was smiling.

  “Thank you for the keychain,” Seth said to Bryn a bit later. She had gone to the kitchen to get a drink of water. “You’re very talented.” She had made Seth a leather key fob with a concho embossed with the county seal.

  “Thank you. And you’re welcome.”

  “You could sell those and make a fortune at the gift shop.”

  “I’ve never done that before. This was kind of a new venture for me.” Her past designs were a little more Aztec-inspired. Cuff bracelets, chunky necklaces, and large earrings. At one time she’d even done slave girl anklets. This Western flair was still new to her.

  “I would love to say that it’s going to be my next venture. But I have something else on the agenda for the next eighteen years.”

  Seth laughed as another twinge started in Bryn’s side. She inhaled sharply and placed a hand over that spot.

  “Are you okay?” Seth asked.

  Bryn continued to rub her belly. The doctor said the babies could come at any time, but she wasn’t sure she was ready. Not today.

  “Yes. Of course. I’m fine.” But she could tell by the look in Seth’s eyes that he didn’t believe her.

  “I’m getting Jake.”

  She grabbed his arm as he turned away. “No. Don’t. It’s nothing.”

  He stopped and eyed her carefully. “That didn’t look like nothing.”

  “Okay, so it wasn’t nothing. But it wasn’t a contraction either.”

  “You’re sure?” Seth asked.

  Bryn nodded. “I promise. I would tell you.”

  For a moment she thought she hadn’t convinced him, then Seth nodded. “All right. But if they get worse, you’ll tell us, right?”

  “Oh, if I go into labor, y’all are going to know.”

  “Fair enough.” Seth disappeared back into the family room where the men were watching football, yet again. Grandma Esther had put the ham on to cook, and Jessie and Evelyn were looking at recipes trying to decide exactly what sort of potatoes to make. Wesley was sitting at the kitchen table coloring in her favorite coloring book. Hundreds of dollars spent on toys and she reverted to her old standby. Kids would never cease to amaze her.

  Bryn sidled up to Grandma Esther. “You need some help?�
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  Esther shook her head. “I got this. Why don’t you go rest? You look a little peaked.”

  She was a little tired. But it was Christmas Day, and she didn’t want to miss a minute of it by taking a nap. She would rather be in the family room curled up next to Jake as he watched football and drank a beer with his brother. But since Jessie was in the kitchen, Bryn thought it best to stay close to the womenfolk. She slid onto the bench across from Wesley.

  “What are you coloring?”

  “It’s a butterfly. See?” Wesley turned the coloring book around so Bryn could have the right-side view of the picture. So far the butterfly had at least six colors and none of them were symmetrical. It seemed Wesley had an artist’s heart.

  “It’s beautiful,” Bryn said.

  “Thank you.” Wesley bobbed her chin and turned her coloring book back around.

  Bryn sighed. She felt restless, expectant, and maybe a little anxious. She rubbed a burning spot on her chest. Or maybe it was just indigestion from breakfast. It seemed like she couldn’t eat much of anything these days without getting heartburn. She knew it was because the twins had taken up more room than average and had pushed her stomach a little out of whack. Such was the problem with being pregnant.

  “Are you okay?” Evelyn asked.

  Bryn nodded as the pain streaked across her abdomen. She caught her breath and held it, unable to move.

  The rest of the women had no such problems, and she found herself quickly surrounded by the other Langstons.

  “Is that the babies?” She thought Evelyn asked that, but she wasn’t sure.

  All Bryn could do was nod.

  The pain subsided as quickly as it came, and Bryn straightened. “I’m okay.”

  “You’re white as a sheet,” Jessie said.

  “I don’t think you’re okay at all,” Grandma Esther added.

  Wesley sat at the table watching all the interactions. “Are the babies going to be born today?”

  Bryn shook her head. “Probably not, chickadee.”

  Wesley seemed to think about it a minute, then gave a quick nod and went back to her coloring.

  “Do you think we should take her to the doctor?” Evelyn pinned Esther with a look.