Home Is Where the Heart Break Is

by Tess Oliver

  Suddenly my fingers were trembling again. I shoved my hands in my pockets. “I better go. Lexi is probably pissed at me for ditching her.”

  He nodded. I turned to leave but he grabbed my arm before I could take a step. I peered up at him. “I’m glad you’re back, Duchess.” The raw emotion in his tone made my throat tighten. He released me.

  “Me too,” I said weakly and walked out of the storeroom. “I think,” I whispered to myself.

  Chapter 5

  Susie had poor Chase cornered at the opposite side of the coffee house. Her arms were waving wildly, and I half expected her to slap him. Chase stood there with his arms crossed and an I don’t give a damn expression plastered across his face. Lexi’s table was watching the whole thing. I crept back and sat on my chair.

  “That was some bathroom break,” Lexi said sharply.

  “Sorry about that.”

  Lexi and the other girls at the table stared at me expectantly. I glanced around at them. “Did I miss anything?”

  Lexi sighed loudly. “You’re funny. I told you to watch your back around Susie.” She frowned at me. “You might want to avoid locking yourself in stockrooms with him while she’s around.”

  Ashley laughed but then sucked in a breath. She stiffened on her stool as she stared at something behind me. “Crap, when did he get here? He’s coming this way.”

  I looked back over my shoulder to see Nico walking through the patrons. He spotted me and walked toward our table.

  Without a word to anyone else, he handed me his cell phone. “Put your number in.”

  I punched in my number and handed it back to him. He slid it into his pocket and nodded at Ashley and Lexi then looked back at me. “How long are you staying here?”

  “Actually,” I looked at Lexi, “I’m not sure. I came with Lexi.” Chase was back on stage getting ready for the next set.

  Lexi glared at him. “We’re not ready to leave yet.” Nico turned to walk away. He took two steps, stopped, turned back, and stuck his hand out for me to take.

  I looked pleadingly at Lexi. She waved her hand in dismissal. “Whatever.”

  I placed my hand in Nico’s, and he dragged me through the crowd. Everyone seemed to be staring at us but I could have cared less. I glanced back at the stage. Chase watched us head to the door. He waved weakly at me. I ignored Susie’s harsh stare and blew Chase a kiss.

  “Lexi is going to hate me now,” I said.

  Nico held tightly to my hand. “No loss.”

  “Not for you, but I just got back in town. I don’t need to make enemies right away.”

  He stopped and peered down at me. Only a few traces of the younger, innocent Nico remained in his deep brown gaze. The hardship of growing up in a home filled with anger had taken its toll on him. “Do you want to go back inside?”

  I shook my head.

  “Good.” He pulled me along to a motorcycle parked at the rear of the lot.

  “You’re driving a bike?” I asked. “It’s cold.”

  “Don’t be such a princess, Duchess.” He threw his leg over the bike and motioned for me to get on behind.

  “No helmets?” I slid my hands around his waist. I could feel the ripple of his hard stomach beneath his t-shirt as he swiveled around to look at me.

  “City life has turned you into a marshmallow.” He fired up the bike.

  I dropped my hands. “I’m not a marshmallow.”

  He faced forward. “That’s all right. I like marshmallows.” He reached back for my hands and yanked them around his waist. I pressed my body and face against his back, and he pulled onto the road.

  We rode along the dark, curvy highway. The tall pines lining both sides of the road cast shadows across the lanes, and the icy mountain air blew against our skin. I tucked my hands beneath his shirt searching for warmth, and I hid my face behind his broad back. I closed my eyes against the cold and held tightly to his waist. I had no idea where he was taking me, but it didn’t matter. Aside from my flighty but sweet mom, there were only two other people I truly cared about. Tonight, after five minutes with both of them, I realized that they still meant as much to me as they did five years ago when we were three kids who turned to each other for the love, laughter, and security that our families were lacking.

  Five years had gone by but the connection was still there as if only a day had passed.

  We turned up the long, winding driveway to his father’s estate. I pressed against him. “I’m freezing.”

  “Hold on, little icicle. We’re almost there.”

  Nico stopped the bike at the gate to the pool area. Reluctantly, I withdrew my hands from beneath his shirt. He slid off.

  I hugged myself. “I think I’m frozen to the bike.”

  Before I could swing my numb leg over the seat, Nico leaned forward and lifted me into his arms. I tucked my body and face against his chest, and he carried me to the pool house. We reached the door.

  “Turn the knob, Duchess. My hands are filled.”

  A sweet sense of nostalgia hit me when we stepped inside the pool house. Not much had changed. A pool table took up most of the floor, and a small corner bar glittered with wine glasses and expensive liquor bottles. Whenever Nico’s dad had worked late or left on business, the three of us would sneak into the pool house to play pool and video games on the giant television. We never hung out there when his dad was home though. Chase and I were scared to death of the man.

  Nico dropped me onto the sofa, turned on the dim light over the bar, and flicked a switch on the thermostat. “I’ll crank it and we should have one defrosted girl in a few minutes.” He motioned to the bottles on the bar. “Want a drink?”

  “Not unless you have a cup of hot coffee that I can sit in.”

  He returned to the couch and sat down. The skinny boy I’d grown up with had morphed into a muscular, almost formidable looking man. The tattoos added to the look.

  “When did you get the ink?” I asked

  He looked down at his arms. “I started getting them at around fourteen. My mom was living with a tattoo artist for awhile. She gave me permission to get them. I think she knew it would piss off my dad.”

  “Did it?” I removed my shoes. My feet were numb and I crossed my legs like we used to do on the reading rug at school.

  “Hell, I can’t sneeze without that ass criticizing me.” Nico combed his fingers through his hair and it stood up in every direction.

  “Is it still really bad?” I asked. I reached over and pulled his hand into my lap. It was still cold. I rubbed the callused skin of his fingers.

  He shook his head and glanced down at the hand I held. “Not as bad. He’s afraid of me now. He wouldn’t dare hit me anymore. He had a girlfriend for a year. I think he actually cared for her, as much as a guy with a steel heart could care for someone. She finally got sick of his temper and left. He started drinking more. I think he knows that for as successful as he is in business, he’s a complete failure with people. We just avoid each other.” Nico pulled his large hand from between mine, reached up, and tucked my hair behind my ear. “You and Chase kept me from going crazy back then. I don’t think I would have survived otherwise.” He pressed his back against the seat of the sofa, slouched down, and splayed his long legs out in front of him. “You don’t know how often I’d wanted to climb to the top of Crystal Falls and dive off just to get away from that bastard.” He looked over at me and swallowed hard. “Then I’d get to school and you guys would be there to make me laugh, and I knew you both cared about me.”

  I fought back tears. “I think we were all there for each other,” I said, my voice cracking. “I’m not saying that Chase and I had anything like what you had at home, but we both needed you too. I think that’s why I’m determined to rekindle that friendship you two had when we were kids. That way when I’m gone again--”

  He
looked down at me. “Gone? How long are you here for?”

  “Just for summer, I think.”

  He pushed off the couch abruptly and walked over to the bar to open a soda. He chugged it down, wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, and sat on the bar stool. “Damn, Duchess, you can’t just pop in like this and then plan to leave after a few months. The last time you left . . .” He stared down at the can in his hands wearing that sad, sweet expression he often wore as a boy, but now it looked completely different on him. It tugged at my heart.

  I walked over to him. “I never wanted to leave, Nico, but I never had much say in the matter. It hasn’t been a picnic for me either. I lost both of you and my hometown.”

  He lifted his face. “Everything went to shit once you left, but . . . never mind. I’m going to stop feeling sorry for myself now. I’m just glad you’re back for summer.” He threw his arm around my shoulder. “Hey, I’ll make some popcorn, and we can watch one of those serial killer flicks. Like old times.”

  “Sounds good,” I said. “Do you remember how I used to watch the whole movie from behind my hand?”

  He smiled. “I remember that and you digging your fingernails into my arm whenever someone was about to lose their head.” He lowered his arm, strolled over to the DVD shelf, and plucked out a movie.

  “Oh yeah, I forgot about that. Well then, just to warn you, I have not changed at all.” He sat on the couch next to me. “You might want to put on some protective wear. Back then I bit my nails.” I lifted my French manicured fingers. “These babies could do some damage if heads start to roll.”

  He grabbed my wrist and kissed my palm. It was totally unexpected and it threw me for a second.

  “I don’t mind a few fingernail scratches now and then.” He released my hand, and I could still feel the heat of his mouth on my skin. “Especially from the right girl.” He winked down at me.

  I might have been sitting next to the same boy, on the same couch, in the same pool house but things were definitely different now. My attention turned back to the mosaic of tattoos running down his muscular forearm. “Speaking of the right girl--” I leaned down so I could get a better look at the ink. “Do you have any girl’s name hidden among these designs?”

  He was silent.

  “Nico Harris, you have a girl’s name on your body, don’t you?” I was surprised, amused, and irritated all at once.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  I lifted up the sleeve on his t-shirt. There was a wakeboard with a skull on it but I couldn’t see a name. I sat back hard. It was probably better that I didn’t know the name because I already hated her.

  “Oh yeah, the popcorn.” He stood and went behind the bar and put a bag in the microwave. He watched me over the counter. “What about you? I’ll bet you have a guy waiting back home.”

  I shrugged. “Yeah but I haven’t had his name permanently inked on my skin.”

  His face dropped after the word yeah. “So there is someone?”

  “Kind of. One of the reasons I came up here is to get away from him for awhile.” Truthfully I’d hardly thought of Josh since I’d left town. I’d even ignored a couple of his texts.

  The last kernel popped and the smell of popcorn filled the room. Nico sat down next to me. We rested back.

  “Let the blood and guts commence,” he said.

  “So you’re not going to show me the tattoo?” I had no idea that it would affect me so much, but I was feeling extremely bummed about it.

  He sighed loudly, sat forward, and tugged up the hem of his t-shirt. “I guess you’ll pout until you get your way.” He lifted his shirt higher. Black letters ran vertically down his side. My heart sank and I had to force myself to look at the name. A breath caught in my throat. The letters spelled Jessa.

  I blinked at it a few times and then he lowered the shirt, sat back, and dropped his arm around my shoulder. I didn’t bring up his tattoos again.

  Chapter 6

  “I know Aunt Sadie is anxious to see you.” Mom licked the donut icing from her fingers.

  “I’ll be home in a few hours. Nico has to go to work at nine. I’ll be back before you even have your hair and make-up done.”

  “Do you think it’s smart to go off with both of them so soon? You only just got here.”

  I used the stainless steel door of the refrigerator to put on my lip gloss. “Mom, it’s Nico and Chase we’re talking about. Not two strangers. We’re just going to hang out for an hour or two and catch up.”

  There was a knock on the door, and instantly I felt a nervous flutter in my stomach. I went to the door and opened it. Nico stood with his hands in his back pockets. “Hey, Duchess, you ready?”

  I grabbed his arm and pulled him inside. “You don’t actually think you’re going to get away without saying hello to my mom.”

  Mom walked into the room with an energetic smile that morphed into a half-stunned grin when she saw his tattoos. But she recovered quickly. “Nicholas, you are so grown up.” She hugged him. “Sorry to hear about your mom.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Jessa tells me you’re working for your dad at the marina.”

  He nodded. “I’m a boat mechanic, but I still manage to get some wakeboarding in between work hours.”

  “I remember how good you were at it.” Mom looked at me and there was a cautionary glint in her eyes, but I had no idea what it meant. “Well, you two have fun.” She turned to walk back to the table. “You’re not on a motorcycle, are you?”

  My eyes widened.

  “I’m old but I’m not deaf, Jessa. I heard Nico drop you off last night.”

  “I brought my truck today,” he said.

  I was sort of disappointed that we wouldn’t be on the bike.

  The crisp mountain air felt refreshing as we walked to the truck. Pine needles crunched beneath our feet releasing their pungent, stored fragrance. I found a spot where the sunlight had made its way through the thick shield of trees and I stopped, turned my face up, and closed my eyes to feel the warmth of it. “I’ve forgotten how unbelievably clean the air is up here.” I opened my eyes and caught up to Nico. “My lungs are in shock.”

  We climbed into the truck. “So do you think Chase will show this morning?” he asked.

  I looked at him. “Why wouldn’t he?”

  “Because if the she-wolf gets wind of it, she’ll rip him to shreds.”

  I reached toward the vents. “Do you have heat in this thing? It’s cold.”

  Nico reached forward to the buttons on the dash. “Yes, Miss Marshmallow.”

  “I am not a marshmallow. I just haven’t acclimated yet. Besides, don’t you think most marshmallows try and avoid heat?”

  He laughed and I realized how great it sounded coming from the grown-up Nico. “By the way, my dad says hi.”

  My mouth dropped open. “Seriously?”

  He glanced at me then returned his eyes to the winding road. “Why is that so hard to believe?”

  “No reason. I just never got the feeling that he liked me.”

  “That’s because he always looked angry. He liked you. I think he was bummed when you left because you were way better at keeping me out of trouble than he was.”

  “Never thought of that.” I twisted under my seatbelt to face him. “Just how much trouble have you gotten in since I left?”

  He squinted out through the front windshield and pointed to something up ahead. “Look a deer. I’ll bet you haven’t seen one of those in awhile.”

  “Way to change the subject.” I leaned forward to look. “Oh my gosh and there’s a little one right next to it. So cute.” The animals hopped down the steep side of the road and disappeared. I decided not to pursue the earlier topic. He obviously didn’t want to talk about it, and deep down, it was possible, I didn’t really want to know.
/>
  Nico turned the truck off onto the dirt road that led to our hideout, or at least that was what we’d called it. It was really just an old hunter’s shack that the town had taken great pains to preserve thinking it would be a tourist draw. But they never carved a visible trail to get to the shack, so no one ever visited it. Eventually, they’d given up on making it an attraction. When we were ten, Nico had broken the rusted lock on the door, and we’d used it as our safe haven.

  “Are we sure our clubhouse is still standing?” I asked as Nico parked the truck. We’d driven as far as we could and now had to hike the rest of the way.

  Nico checked the time on his cell phone and looked down toward the highway. There was no sign of Chase yet. I was probably just delusional, but it seemed like Nico really wanted him to show.

  “Yep, the shack is still standing. Although, I think it’s leaning a bit. I’d say a couple of good rainstorms and the thing will slide down the hillside to the river below.”

  “So you still come up here?” I asked.

  He looked down at his feet, a habit that was totally familiar to me. For a moment I caught a glimpse of that vulnerability that had developed from his tumultuous childhood. “Sometimes.” He lifted his face. “It’s a good place to be alone.”

  When we were kids, my mom used to worry that Nico was not going to make it to adulthood. There was always so much crap in his life, she was sure he’d go over the edge one way or another. I had hated when she talked about it. One time I had even screamed at her to shut up, something totally out of my character. Thankfully, she seemed to be wrong. From what I could see, he was truly pulling his life together.

  A blue mustang turned onto the dirt road. I waved to Chase and grinned at Nico. “See, I told you he would come.”

  Chase stepped out of the car and held up a bag. “I brought peanuts and fruit punch.”

  One day, Chase’s parents had thrown a baseball themed party and his mom bought a twenty pound bag of peanuts. There were still nineteen pounds left after the party, so Chase had dragged up the sack full of peanuts to our hideout, and we snacked on them whenever we hung out. There was no one to complain about the mess, so we would throw the shells on the floor and eventually the floor was covered with an inch of peanut shell sawdust. The fruit punch had been my contribution because we were always thirsty from the salty nuts. We’d gotten the bag down to the last few pounds of peanuts and came back one day to find a hole had been chewed in the bag and the rest were gone. We’d laughed so hard we could barely breathe. All we could think was that somewhere in the forest there was an extremely overweight squirrel with a big smile and a blood pressure problem from too much salt.