Everything I want: Will Alfie and Lily's love survive?...

by K. L. Shandwick

  Alfie smirked and whispered, “No matter how many of them you pop into your mouth Lily, they’ll never satisfy you like my nuts can.”

  We both chuckled, and Elle piped up, “What the hell has got you two giggling at this time in the morning?” Alfie smiled over at her. “Lily’s love of M&M’s, Elle.” He winked.

  Once we were settled on the plane and in the air, it was like we’d all been shot with tranquilizer darts. Everyone slept like they’d been drugged, and I woke with a crick in my neck and Alfie slumped against me. Our fingers were interlaced and aching. I slipped my hand out of his and sat up straight.

  I couldn’t help laughing out loud at the sight of everyone else around me, especially Elle, who was wearing an eye mask that had slipped and was half across her cheek, one eye visible. Her hair looked a tangled mess, and she was hanging off the side of the chair with her head on her lap like a rag doll.

  One of the cabin crew members brought me some orange juice and a hot flannel to freshen up. It was bliss. She mouthed that she was turning the cabin lights on in ten minutes. I sat watching Alfie sleep, thinking that I would never get enough of just being able to look at his face.

  This beautiful man was one of the world’s greats. A special person who rose above others in what he did, yet he was amazingly unaffected by the crazy world he lived in. That fact alone made me love him even more, if that was at all possible.

  We had started our relationship in a bad way, and it had taken us both quite a journey to where we were now, but it made me treasure it even more for all we’ve been through.

  The rest of the journey and the transfer went smoothly, and we had another night in a hotel. Having experienced sleeping on a bus by then, it was luxury. I was still looking forward to the time we’d spend on the bus though, because that would be special time with just Drew, Elle, Alfie, and me.

  Athens was a truly historical city, full of landmarks I’d been taught about in school. The venue wasn’t as big as the one in Poland, holding only about twelve thousand, but the crowd was just as rowdy.

  I couldn’t get past the fact that Alfie’s band was known worldwide, and even somewhere like Greece, with all its ancient culture, had fans of the music Crakt Soundzz played.

  The fans were much more polite, though, which was great for Alfie. It meant that he could at least have a sense of normalcy and wander around the streets.

  He commented that just being able to sit in a small roadside café with me gave him so much pleasure now. It was the simple things he struggled to do now, without someone needing to speak to him or being disrespectful to me by hitting on him.

  The gig went well and was fairly uneventful, apart from when one of my strings broke and caught in my hair briefly. Luckily, the guitar tech had my reserve guitar to me in seconds, and Lennon helped me get loose of the string before I stopped the flow of the music.

  Even the meet and greet was short. The event organizers and promoters were all polite and the after show food and drinks finished at a decent hour. We were in bed by 1am, and even though we were tired, Alfie still made good on his comment to Des from this morning about taking his time with me.

  It felt like deja vu when woke to knocking. It was room service. Alfie padded into the bathroom and pulled a towel around him before going to answer.

  A small stocky woman, dressed in a crisp powder blue uniform with black braided hair and olive skin, wheeled a tray over to the balcony. She pulled the stainless steel lids off the plates of meat, cheese, bread and bowls of fruit and bowed her head as she started to leave.

  Alfie dug into his jeans and pulled out some Euros, handing them to her. Her dark brown eyes lit up. It must have been a lot, and she thanked him profusely, bowing and walking backwards until he closed the door behind her. “Sheesh, Alfie, competition for me?” I grumbled in mock disappointment.

  When we had eaten breakfast Alfie arranged for us to take an early sightseeing bus trip. The driver stopped at the Parthenon and The Acropolis, where once again, Alfie set up his camera and took pictures to replace the ones in my album. “God, Lily, you have no idea how happy I am right now,” he exclaimed, kissing me sloppily on the cheek.

  He dipped his head to look at me and whispered, “I love you,” as he tucked my hair back behind my ears and kissed me slowly. An elderly English woman who was getting back on the bus cleared her throat.

  “Oh, my, you both look so in love, you could probably get a job modeling for the tourist board here,” she swooned.

  Alfie chuckled. “Thanks for the vote of confidence ma’am, if my regular employers get fed up with me I’ll keep it in mind.”

  We headed back to the hotel and once again, we were on the road. We flew to Italy, and had two venues to play there: Milan and Rome. We were playing two nights in Rome then we were heading to Milan by bus overnight.

  In Rome, we’d been to the Coliseum and to The Vatican for Alfie to collect memories of us during the day, and my heart was bursting with happiness having all this time together. The gigs were amazing, and the Italian crowds lived up to their hot, passionate reputations.

  I was so excited when I saw the bus we were staying on when we moved our stuff from the hotel the last day in Rome. I could barely contain myself. Just like Alfie said, there were two double beds on the bus. It was more like a large motor home really, but seemed to be coach-size. Alfie and I took the room at the back of the bus, and Elle and Drew had the one in the middle, which was slightly smaller.

  Our large cases had been moved onto the bus for us, so we unpacked then settled ourselves in with some cheese and wine we found in the fridge. Elle was like a big kid, running around opening doors and squealing with what new surprises she found.

  We had another nine days on this bus, before we swapped with the other band, who was currently with Cobham Street.

  I was beginning to get pangs of regret that we wouldn’t be with Crakt Soundzz for the whole tour by then, but it was the right decision for the band. It wouldn’t have been fair to commit them indefinitely because of my personal feelings.

  Shaking my depressing thoughts aside, I was determined not to think about leaving. I was happy to spend more time with Alfie without any demands on us for the first time, while we were on the bus anyway.

  There was a shower between the two rooms, and after I unpacked I went to freshen up while Alfie did some vocal stuff and rehearsed a little on his guitar. Stepping back in the room, I opened my towel to dry myself and screamed loudly when a truck driver pulled alongside the large window at the side of the bus.

  I dove down the furthest side of the bed naked, and Alfie’s body folded over with laughter. “They can’t see you honey, it’s one-way glass.” He leaned over and pulled me up and across him. The guy in the truck was examining the bus, and I was still squirming trying to hide my body.

  “I know, but still…are you sure, he’s definitely studying something about our window. Maybe it’s flawed, and he can see me. I’m definitely not putting the light on in here when it gets dark.”

  Alfie smirked. “Oh, no lights, eh? So we’re having blind sex tonight?”

  I exhaled loudly. “Only you would turn my concerns to your advantage, Alfie.” I giggled, but it was it was going to take some coaxing for me to be comfortable with that big ass window right at the side of the bed. Already, I had decided to claim the other side of the bed for sure.

  Once Alfie started kissing me and stroked his fingers lazily down my back, I was much less worried about people seeing me, and much more interested in what he was going to do next.

  We had our first tryst on the bus within an hour of being on there. Honestly, we were like bunnies since we’d gotten some space to be alone.

  Every chance we had was mostly spent in bed. If we weren’t having sex, we were planning. People kept telling me that once the novelty wore off, couples tended not to have as much sex in their relationships
.

  As much as I tried to imagine that, I couldn’t see it ever being the case with us. We both seemed to be sexually compatible, and there had never been a problem with the physical side of our relationship.

  Alfie rolled me over and lifted my arms above my head. “My favorite position for you.”

  I smirked. “It is? Why is that?”

  Alfie grinned. “You’re completely submissive.” I shook my head and lifted my head forward, lightly nipping his neck.

  He gasped, “Jesus.” His voice immediately sounded thick.

  “Yeah, I’m submissive Alfie. In your dreams, honey.”

  Chapter 29 – Buses

  The following nine days flew by. Alfie and I had settled into a great little lifestyle cocooned on the bus. Our own little bubble and it was an incredible feeling. We just got in deeper and deeper during that time. I couldn’t help thinking that we should have been like this from the start. It was the first real chance we had to really learn more about each other.

  Alfie still took me to the special spots he’d visited and gradually replaced most of the pictures in my album with ones of the both of us. He kept telling me every day how much he loved me, and even when fans recognized him and wanted to intrude in our special time, Alfie balanced it just right.

  I wasn’t neglected. I was in awe of his humble approach, and his love for me. We couldn’t have been happier. The hours we spent on the bus together were the probably the happiest I’ve ever had in my life. Just cuddling up with each other and spending time with Elle and Drew felt special.

  We all made plans for vacations together in the future, the trip to Hawaii was going to be the first, and shared stuff about our pasts that we didn’t know about each other. I learned so much about Alfie and Drew and just how much they had been through together.

  Drew had helped Alfie with Layla when his mom was dying. She was still in high school and didn’t have a car. Alfie told us how Drew took on the task of ensuring that she got to and from school and even helped her with homework, while Alfie drove his dad back and forth to the hospital to see his mom.

  Hearing how Drew had supported Alfie just confirmed my initial feelings about Drew. What a great guy and I was really happy for Elle. She had someone special, and she deserved the best.

  Elle and Drew made a lot of wedding plans during the tour, and because Alfie and I were playing key roles in the wedding, it was good that we got to do everything face to face instead of trying to arrange stuff by phone.

  The wedding was due to take place three weeks after both Cobham Street and Crakt Soundzz tours’ finished, so things were still to be done, and there were a lot of last minute arrangements to do when we got home to London.

  They decided on London for their wedding, because Elle had tons of relatives. The guys from XrAid were excited about it too, because they were getting to spend a lot of time in my hometown.

  I knew my dad was making plans to do a lot with them and had taken some time off from his business to devote to them. I was excited to keep Alfie with me in London for a while as well. We needed a do over there to make new memories, since his last time in London had ended on such a sour note.

  Traveling up through Italy into Switzerland, and then on to Germany, was incredible. Between gigs and fancy restaurants, we got to experience the mundane, normal things that couples did. We watched YouTube clips, laughing at some crazy people, and I even shared my kindle with Alfie when he wanted to read some of an erotic book I had been halfway through when we got on the plane back in Florida.

  By the time we reached Paris, I was feeling really sad the days had gone too quickly, and I would have to leave after Paris. This was the only city where we had two consecutive days off, and Alfie wanted to make the most of it.

  A tour bus took us on a whirlwind tour of all cultural highlights such as the Champs De Lyse and the Arch De Triumph. Alfie was in a beanie hat and a trench coat, which made me giggle a lot. Personally I felt he was much more noticeable in his disguise, but then I’d notice him anywhere.

  Camera shutter noise clicked incessantly as Alfie took pictures of us at all the sights. We ate lunch near the Eiffel Tower, before heading to the top. It was an amazing couple of days, but what made it more awesome was that we did it together.

  “Perfection.” Alfie was staring through the lens of his camera. I was standing with Paris as my backdrop. “Did I ever mention how hot you are, Lily?” He smirked. I could only just see his mouth, the rest of him covered by his obscenely large lens.

  “You’re not so bad yourself,” I teased.

  “Oh, I know,” he teased back, as he dropped the camera to his side and tugged me quickly into his chest, crushing his lips to mine. As he broke the kiss, he smiled. “You are the love of my life, you do know that, right?” he said, squeezing me. I smiled, still feeling breathless from our kiss.

  “I do know, Alfie. And you are mine,” I stated matter-of-factly.

  “I am,” he confirmed. We both knew it was our last day together. Alfie had booked us into a hotel for the night and instead of eating in the restaurant, he had a selection of foods brought to the suite.

  After we had made love slowly twice, I lay with my head on his stomach. Alfie picked up my hand and laced our fingers together. A lump formed in my throat, and I was choked. I felt sick that we weren’t going to be together after today. “You’re really quiet, Lily. You okay?” I swallowed audibly with a loud click, trying not to cry. I didn’t want to ruin the precious time we had together.

  “Mmm, yeah I’m fine.” Alfie scooted down and turned me in the crook of his arm to face him.

  “Nope, Lily. I know you. Come on, what’s up?” I exhaled shakily, still trying not to cry. “I’ve just had such an amazing time with you, and I don’t want it to end.”

  Alfie smiled affectionately and stroked my hair. “Having second thoughts about the Cobham Street tour?”

  I nodded and closed my eyes, still struggling with my emotions. “Yeah, but it’s the right thing to do for XrAid.”

  Alfie leaned in and kissed my forehead before exhaling raggedly. “It’s only two weeks, Lily. We can do that, right? It’ll go faster than you think. Plus we’ve got face-time and our phones. We’ll be okay.” I felt a little hurt that he didn’t seem as devastated as I was that we weren’t going to be together.

  I shrugged off the bad vibe I had, but it was in the back of my mind and kind of marred the rest of the night. It had become difficult to look at him at times today, because leaving him behind was going to hurt so badly.

  Sometimes I wondered what he was thinking because one minute he would be laughing and joking around, and the next, he was kind of withdrawn. I caught him watching me when he thought I wasn’t looking, a sad look in his eyes.

  That last night together I lay awake listening to Alfie’s even breathing. His warm body cocooned mine in a tight, possessive embrace. I didn’t want daylight to come. I had no idea how I was going to be able to leave him and get on the other bus with my band. I eventually fell asleep, but not before my eyes stung with silent tears, and my head hurt.

  When I woke up, Alfie had already gone to rehearse over at the concert venue. Our buses were in a cordoned off area at the back of the stadium with tight security.

  My heart sunk to my stomach when I reached out and found his side of the bed cold and empty. Dragging myself out of bed, I tried to find the motivation to face what was going to be a very difficult day for me.

  Elle sat on the bed talking to me as I packed my trunk to transfer to the other bus that I would be sharing with my bandmates. I could see that she was feeling pretty much like I was about us our time together ending.

  “Don’t worry, Lily, it’s only a couple of weeks then we get set loose in London.”

  I nodded, but the tears flowed down my cheeks anyway. “I don’t want to cry in front of Alfie, Elle. I need to be strong ab
out this. It was my choice after all.”

  Elle stared at me and shook her head. “You need to stop with this bullshit, Lily.”

  I scowled at her, surprised that she was ragging on me. “What in the hell does that mean?”

  Elle walked over to me and sat me down on the bed, the mattress sagging as she sat back down close to me. She stared at her hands, rubbing them together then smoothed the front of her top down.

  “Lily, you can’t be with Alfie because of the music, and when you get a solution to that, you can’t be with him because of the band. You’re the one that keeps placing obstacles in the way. Alfie’s already told you that you can tour permanently with him.”

  She pursed her lips and looked seriously at me. “Listen, I used to feel really bad for you, but knowing Alfie, and seeing how he feels about you, it’s him that I’m starting to worry about. Alfie’s just happy to be with you. I’ve never seen him so happy and content since you’ve been around.”

  She stood up and crossed her arms across her chest. “You know I love you, Lily, and I want you to be happy.” She breathed out heavily. “To be honest you’re the one putting conditions on your relationship.”

  Elle talking to me this way stung. She was the one who always had my back. I couldn’t believe she was judging me after everything I had gone through. “You might be happy to give up everything for Drew, but why should I do that? I’ve worked hard to get where I am now.” As soon as I said it, I wished I could have taken my words back.

  “Are you really going to pull that shit on me, Lily? You’re telling me my training was less valuable than what you’re doing? My career and all the pain I went through, fifteen years of dance class, yoga, and endurance training, to get on that West End stage wasn’t as hard as what you’ve achieved?”

  She was really ticked at me now. “You went to one audition Lily. You hit the fucking jackpot with XrAid. I went to twenty-seven auditions, all the time knowing that I was good enough, but wondering if it would be my day, every time.” She swallowed hard, looking more agitated.