by Jim Ladd
“Tough luck, Tentacles, you voted for me and now you’re stuck with me for at least three voyages, it’s the pirate code,” Goldstar snapped. “And as for the passes, there’s no time for funfairs now anyway, there’s piratin’ to do!”
There were outraged grumbles from the crew.
“Silence, you bilge rats!” Goldstar bellowed. “Any complaints and I’ll tie you upside down on the yard arm until your toes goes blue and your tentacles fall out! Now you,” he poked Pegg and Legg in the chest. “Take that insolent young whelp down to the prison cells. Tentacles – you take your beloved ex-captain.”
Nobody moved.
“By Jupiter’s moons, do it NOW!” Goldstar boomed, flecks of spit flying out of his mouth. “Or I’ll keelhaul the lot of you!”
“Sorry, Goldst— I mean, Captain Goldstar, sir,” said Barney nervously, “but we don’t actually have any prison cells on the ship.”
“A pirate ship without cells? What kind of vessel is this?” snapped Goldstar. “Well, lock them on the bowling deck and we’ll deal with them when we meet up with Gravity’s Revenge.”
“Sorry,” Pegg and Legg muttered as they grabbed hold of Sam. Barney went as pale as a Quarlodian cuttlefish as he came over to Comet.
“Take ’em away!” Goldstar boomed.
“Sorry,” Legg said sadly as he and Pegg hauled Sam and Comet downstairs and pushed them into the bowling alley. The door slammed shut and Sam and Comet found themselves alone, prisoners on their own ship.
Sam raced over to the door. It had been broken when Comet had cheated spectacularly in a bowling match and Romero had wrenched the handle off in frustration. Ever since then, the door had been wedged open by a hoverpin. With that gone and the door slammed shut, there was no way to open it from the inside. It makes the perfect prison, Sam thought miserably.
For a while neither of them spoke. Sam sighed as he thought about the way the last few days had gone. They had been getting so close to rescuing his parents, but now they seemed as far away as ever. For a moment he pictured himself at home with his mum and dad and felt a small tear pricking the corner of his eye. He sniffed and shook his head. He had to find a way out of this mess and crying about it wasn’t going to help.
“Captain, we need an escape plan,” said Sam. “The vote wasn’t even fair!”
“I’m not captain any more,” said Comet sulkily. “See, no hat.”
“But your crew need you!” said Sam.
“Those back-stabbing, scurvy dogs!” Comet furiously threw a bowling ball down the track and they both ducked as hoverpins flew everywhere. “They deserve everything they get! I was their captain for two thousand three hundred and fifty-seven voyages! It’s like they forgot all those good times we had – like when we…”
Comet paused and frowned.
“…I’m sure there were some good times. And we got all that treasure from, from, erm … I’m sure we got some once … anyway, it doesn’t matter. What they did was despicable!”
Sam sighed; if he was going to get Comet to help he was going to need a better tactic.
“As we’re down here, do you fancy a game?” Sam asked, picking up a bowling ball.
“Might as well,” Comet huffed.
They bowled in silence. Sam was trying hard to think up a plan and Comet was still sulking. He didn’t even perk up when Sam let him win. In fact he didn’t even seem to notice. Suddenly the door to the bowling deck burst open, and Barney pushed Pegg and Legg inside.
“Ow, that hurt,” whined Legg.
“Get your tentacles off me, you great galumphing galoot!” shouted Pegg.
The door slammed shut.
“What are you doing here?” asked Sam.
“We resigned,” replied Pegg.
“Resigned?” said Sam.
“Well, we were fired,” Legg added honestly. “Goldstar’s as bad as his brother, so we refused to work for him.”
“And now we’ve been locked up with you,” said Pegg.
“We need to do something about that Goldstar,” Pegg and Legg said in unison.
Pegg and Legg rarely agreed about anything, so Sam knew that this was a good sign. Having the first mate back on their side was a start.
The door opened suddenly and Vulpus, the fox-like crew member, was thrown into the makeshift jail.
“What happened to you?” asked Sam, surprised to see their prison filling up so quickly.
“Apparently I wasn’t hauling the sails properly,” Vulpus replied.
“He threw you in here for that?” asked Legg. “If he starts locking people up for things like that, there’ll be no one left!”
Legg was right. Over the next few hours more and more pirates were thrown into the bowling alley. Every few minutes the door would be opened and another pirate would be pushed inside. Eventually most of the Apollo’s crew were imprisoned down below. Sam began to get an idea of what to do.
“Listen everybody, most of the crew are here now,” he said.
“You’re telling me,” said Jonjarama, the latest pirate to have been jailed. “There’s only Barney left up there with Goldstar.”
“If Barney opens the door we have to convince him to let us out,” said Sam.
“Can’t we just hit him?” said Pegg.
“No we can’t, we’ve had enough of this crew turning against each other – we need to work as a team!” said Sam.
“If we can get out of here, we can try and get control of the ship back.”
A clanking sound came from the door as it squeaked open.
“I’ve been sent to jail, too,” said Barney standing in the doorway. “But because there’s no one else left – I’ve got to throw myself in! Can you believe it? Get in, you scurvy dog!” he shouted, pushing himself in the back with two of his tentacles.
“Barney! Don’t shut the door!” shouted Sam.
“Why?” said the Kraken, as the door slammed behind him. “It wouldn’t be much of a prison with an open door, would it?”
“Barney!” groaned the crew.
“What?” Barney said, his tentacles drooping dejectedly as the other pirates glared at him.
“We could have escaped and tried to get rid of Goldstar,” explained Sam.
“Oh,” said Barney. “Sorry. Getting rid of him would have been good. He was really mean about my food, and he said my tentacles were leaving sucker marks on everything!”
“Don’t worry, Barney,” Sam said, his mind whirring. “We’ll find another way to get out.”
“Yes, but if we’re all down here, who’s flying the ship?” said Legg.
“If that Goldstar reckons he can do it by himself he’s in for a surprise,” snarled Pegg. “The kind of surprise that ends with a big crash!”
With a sudden clatter of bowling pins the Jolly Apollo lurched violently to one side, scattering pirates everywhere. The ship then tipped the other way, rolling everyone towards one wall and into a big space-piratey pile.
“Ouch! Goldstar’s losing control!” cried Comet as a bowling ball bounced off his head.
The ship shook and rattled then leaned over again, causing everyone to slide the other way and the ball to bounce off Comet’s head again.
“Will someone please grab hold of that blasted ball!” shouted Comet.
“He’ll wreck the ship if he keeps doing this,” said Pegg.
“We have to get back up there!” gasped Sam. “There isn’t another secret tunnel out from the bowling alley, is there, Captain?”
“No.” Comet shook his head.
“Can we break the door down?” Sam suggested, looking at Romero, the strongest of the pirates.
The snippernaut started towards the door, but Pegg called him back. “Don’t even try, you’ll pulverise your pincers. That’s Titanium wood – part wood, part steel.”
Sam looked around in desperation. There was nothing in the alley except bowling pins, and the glimmer of starlight coming though the portholes.
Sam suddenly had an idea. As t
he bowling ball whizzed past he grabbed it and declared, “That’s it – I’ve got it!”
“Good,” said Comet. “Finally, my poor head is safe.”
“No, not the ball – well, I’ve got that, too – but I’ve also got a plan!” said Sam. “Quick!” He ran down the bowling lane, staggering from side to side as the ship swayed, nearly falling over as he reached the small, round window.
“The porthole?” Pegg said, a rare smile splitting his face.
“But no one’s small enough to fit through there,” Comet spluttered.
“Except me!” Sam said. “See, Romero, being a space sprat is useful after all! If I can climb up to the deck I can open the door from the other side.”
“But you could fall off into space!” Barney wrung his tentacles anxiously.
Sam looked around. “There’s no other choice,” he shrugged, trying not to sound too scared. “We have to get out of here. Romero, can you get the window open?”
Romero swung the window open and pulled it off its hinges. Sam looked at the pirates’ worried faces and forced himself to smile. “Get ready,” he said. “I’ll make my way up to the deck, then sneak down here. When I open the door we’re going to get Goldstar and take our ship back!”
Sam winced as the cold air rushed through the porthole. Outside there was nothing but deep dark empty space. If he slipped, he’d fall and float off forever, all the way down to Starry Jones’s locker. He gulped. Better not fall off then, he thought to himself as he squeezed through the porthole.
Sam clung on to the outside of the ship, trying his best not to look down. The Jolly Apollo was made out Titanium wood, but it was old and rusty. The whole ship needed repairing – and washing! Space barnacles dotted the surface, and the gap between each wooden plank was furry with plants and scattered with shining meteor dust. For once Sam was pleased that the Jolly Apollo was an old space wreck. If the sides of the ship had been new, shiny and smooth he’d never have been able to climb up it.
Grabbing the nearest barnacle, Sam took a deep breath, and started to climb, carefully wedging his feet in the gaps between the planks, and pulling himself up bit by bit. It’s just like climbing up the mainsail, he told himself with a gulp. Just don’t look down!
The ship tilted wildly, and Sam’s foot slipped, dangling out into deep space. There was a gasp from the porthole, where the pirates were clustered, watching him.
Sam swung his leg back and wedged his foot into a gap between the boards, panting heavily.
The solar winds whistled around him, but Sam kept going. He was almost at the top when the ship jerked again. From the deck above he could hear smashes and crashes as things fell and shattered. Sam flattened himself against the side of the ship and held on tightly.
Just above his head, the ship’s name was written in raised wooden letters. The “A” and both “l”s of “Apollo” had fallen off, so it actually spelt “Jolly po o”. Sam reached up and grabbed the bottom of the J, then hauled himself up to balance on it. He peered on to the deck through a gap in the gunwhales. Goldstar was struggling with the sails and trying to steer at the same time. The main deck was scattered with ropes, grum tankards, dirty washing (including Barney’s massive multi-legged pants) and barrels. Goldstar’s black hair was sticking up crazily, and he was trying to shake a net off his peg leg while he pulled a rope with all his strength.
Taking his chance while Goldstar was distracted, Sam scrambled onboard, heaving himself up and sliding on to the deck belly-first. He lay silently for a minute, his heart pounding and his knees weak. He was so happy to be safely on the ship that he could have kissed the deck – but there was no time for that. He still had to let the others out. If Goldstar saw him now he’d be back in the dungeon quicker than he could drink a glass of grum, and his climb would have been for nothing.
Sam crept across the deck towards the door down into the hold. But as he crept, the ship’s wheel spun again and a barrel of grum smashed down next to him, bursting open and showering the deck with the foamy yellow liquid. Sam ducked behind another barrel as Goldstar glanced in the direction of the noise. Sam held his breath, but luckily at that moment the ship rocked violently in the other direction, flinging Goldstar on to his backside.
Sam scrambled to the doorway and half-fell down the steps. He raced forward and wrenched open the door to the bowling alley. With a great roar the crew flooded out, arming themselves with whatever they could find on their way. Comet led the charge, brandishing a mop and bucket like a sword and shield. Barney followed with a hoverpin in each tentacle, and Pegg and Legg with a bowling ball in each hand.
Sam grinned as he followed the pirates. But as he got back on deck he stopped short. The crew were huddled in a corner, looking at Goldstar, who had his laser-cutlass held against Captain Comet’s throat.
“You’ll have to get up earlier in the morning than that to fool old Goldstar, me lad,” sneered the gold-caped pirate. “Now Comet here will pay the price – by walking the plank!”
Comet edged out on the plank, still clutching the mop and bucket. Sam noticed that it was one of the buckets that had been used earlier for voting. His knees were knocking so hard that the end of the plank was starting to bounce up and down. Sam felt his throat go dry as he looked at his captain, hanging out over open space.
“You! Stabilise the ship,” Goldstar snapped at Pegg and Legg. Then he turned to Sam. “My brother warned me to be on the lookout for you,” he snarled. “He said you were slipperier than a Martian sand eel. I see he wasn’t exaggerating. Unfortunately for you, you’re not quite slippery enough.”
“Stop right there, Goldstar,” said Sam, summoning all his courage. “We’re sick of you and we want our ship back!”
Goldstar laughed evilly.
“Oh, do you now? Well, I’m the elected captain of this here ship for the next three voyages, like it or not. Every single member of the crew voted for me, and now you’re stuck with me.” He gave a wicked grin. “And as the captain, I sentence you and Patches here to take a one way trip down to Starry Jones’s locker.”
Everyone gasped as Goldstar waved his cutlass at the vast emptiness of space behind him.
“Time to say goodbye to the Apollo and hello to deep space,” chortled Goldstar, prodding the cutlass in Comet’s direction.
Sam was rooted to the spot in fear. But, just then, something caught his eye. There, on the deck among the dirty socks and rubbish, was a shiny pirate token… They hadn’t all gone overboard after all!
“Goldstar!” he shouted.
“Wait your turn, small fry, it’s Comet’s go on the bouncy board first,” Goldstar cackled.
“Oh, I don’t think so – you don’t have the authority,” said Sam.
“What are you talking about, you stellar-slug?” barked Goldstar. “I’m the captain!”
“Ah, but you’re not!” Sam grinned. “To be the new captain the vote has to be unanimous, which means all crew members have to vote for you. If the existing captain gets one vote, he stays where he is.”
“Yeah, so what?” Goldstar replied.
Sam leaped into the pile of old socks strewn across the deck. He grabbed the shining token and held it up. “I haven’t voted!” Sam declared. “You might have tempted the rest of the crew with endless grum and supernova floss, but not me. I’m a crew member on this ship and I’m going to vote now.”
He flipped the token through the air. Everyone watched as it flew, glinting in the light as it spun past Goldstar, out over the edge of the ship and into Comet’s bucket with a satisfying clink. “I vote for Captain Comet!”
Comet looked so relieved that Sam was worried he might faint. He sank down on to the plank and hugged it with his arms and legs.
Goldstar stared at Sam furiously. “You devious dirt devil! You pugnacious pug-rat! You spit-mouthed slime toad!” He paused for breath, then grinned like a madman as he pulled something out of his pocket. Sam gasped as he saw the scrap of spacesuit material.
“If I
’m not getting to Planet X,” Goldstar laughed, “then nobody is.”
Cackling maniacally, he grabbed the map in both hands and tried to rip it in half. But the spacesuit material was too tough. Sam rushed forwards as Goldstar twisted and pulled the precious fabric. “Say goodbye to your parents, you irritating little space slug,” Goldstar crowed. “And say goodbye to Planet… ERRRFFFF!”
From behind, Captain Comet slammed his bucket down on top of Goldstar’s head, wedging it fast.
Goldstar dropped the map, and Sam dived forward to pick it up. His heart thudded frantically as he smoothed it out, but the strong spacesuit material wasn’t damaged. Sam heaved a huge sigh of relief and tucked the map safely into his pocket.
Goldstar pulled off the bucket, and Comet’s captain’s hat went flying across the deck. Comet grabbed hold of one edge of Goldstar’s cape.
“I think we should take Goldstar for a spin, don’t you?” he yelled.
With the rest of the crew cheering, he gave the cape a huge tug which sent Goldstar spinning across the deck. He came to a halt at the top of the stairs that led down to the bowling deck. Comet sauntered across the deck and with a well-aimed swipe of his mop, smacked Goldstar square on the backside. The blow sent Goldstar tumbling down the stairs.
Comet craned his neck to listen to the thumps and bumps of Goldstar’s progress down the stairs. With a bash and a groan, Goldstar came to a halt at the bottom and Comet gave a quick nod of approval.
“Ah, it’s good to be back, Sam,” said the captain as he looked out from the deck rail at the colourful spread of galaxies in front of them.
“I think we all agree on that one, Captain,” said Sam. “Look behind you.”
Comet turned round and there assembled on the main deck was the entire crew. Pegg and Legg stepped forward from the crowd, shuffling their feet and looking embarrassed.
