The Sheisty Saga

by T. N. Baker

  K.C. always knew the right shit to say to me, but being in jail made him more sensitive, respectful, and loving. With all that in mind, I said yes. I had a lot of shit going on in my life that he knew nothing about, and I didn’t need him to know. His freedom card had been revoked. He was in there, and I was out here tackling life every day, doing what I had to do to survive.

  It was funny how life took its turns. When he was on the streets, he took care of me, but he also did his dirt. Now it was my turn to take care of him, not because I owed him, but because I loved him and I was a rider for mine.

  I no longer needed to fuck with C-God, now that I had my own connect with his supplier. I was making twice as much as I did when I was working for him, but he served his purpose. Once he put me on, we ain’t fuck around that much. It became mostly business, but we remained cool. You never burn bridges with a nigga like him. I liked them thugs, but on the real, that nigga was a li’l too self-destructive for me. He was either gonna end up dead or in jail. I didn’t want to be caught up in that shit when it happened.

  Chasity was on some new shit, so I stopped fucking with her altogether. That licky-licky shit wasn’t my thing anyway. Them fucking chicks wasn’t nothing but a headache, worse than a man. Shit, trying to keep up with that kinky threesome shit was wearing me the fuck out. Not to mention her jealousy when it came to me and C having sex and not including her. The bitch would start getting all emotional and wanna fight me. I wasn’t with that. I was making moves now, and I ain’t had no time for headaches.

  I had rings to buy. I never put that much thought into getting married, but I knew one thing: if I wasn’t paying for my own ring, it would have been a much better one. Shit, they say that diamonds are forever, and looking at how much they cost, they should be. Picking out K.C.’s band wasn’t hard at all, but every ring that I liked cost three thousand dollars and up. I settled for a nice little diamond chip cluster that cost me six hundred bucks. I didn’t need people asking questions about no big-ass rock on my finger.

  As I was leaving the jewelry store, I ran right into Keisha. She was the last person I wanted to see. Her expression was cold, and I knew she had every reason to be salty. I hugged her and tried to play shit off, but she wasn’t falling for it. She hit me with every question that she could think of. I told her I was going through a tough time and just needed my space. It wasn’t personal.

  I did miss Keisha. She was always a sweetheart. I knew I could have at least returned her phone calls. My problem wasn’t really with her. I started to feel bad for cutting the only true friend I’d known for half my life. With all that said, I saw a look of true friendship in that girl’s eyes, more that what I probably deserved.

  Keisha forgave me, and even though it was too late to be in her wedding, I was going to make it my business to at least be there. I owed our friendship that much.

  Chapter 23

  EPIPHANY

  There wasn’t a lot of talking going on between C-God and me last night. When I opened up the door and seen my man standing there, I forgot why I was even mad at him in the first place. As a matter of fact, I was mad at myself for staying away from him so long. From the time he walked in the door up until the moment he left, there was nothing but straight fucking—I mean lovemaking—going on. His lovin’ was definitely what Epiphany Janee Wright needed to get back on track.

  The way he sucked my pussy took me to a world of fucking ecstasy. As my legs started to tremble, the need to feel him inside of me grew stronger. I pulled him up from my drenched pussy so I could taste it from his lips, and as usual his thick ten and a half inches of hardness knew how to find its way home. I missed being fucked so good. It was long overdue.

  My pussy started to throb every time I thought about my sweet chocolate boy wonder. I gave it to him any way he wanted it and in every hole he wanted in. C had always been crazy about my head job, and that night I almost sucked the skin off it and gargled his babies before I swallowed them.

  I was really feeling myself after he screamed out, “Damn, I love you!” I wanted him open off of me, so I gave him all I had to give. God, if loving him was wrong, I didn’t want to be right. And if loving him meant keeping it from Keisha, so be it.

  Speaking of Keisha, that afternoon was the first wedding rehearsal brunch, and I swore if I didn’t have to be there, I wouldn’t. Two wedding rehearsals for a wedding that was less then two weeks away. Who the hell needs two lessons on how to walk down a damn aisle and carry flowers?

  C-God left me drained of all energy, so sleep was what I needed to recharge my batteries. Unfortunately, I had to drag myself up out of bed and into the shower ’cause Lord only knows if I was late, I wouldn’t hear the end of it.

  The rehearsal was longer than I anticipated and a li’l boring, but very well organized. Keisha always wanted everything perfect, especially that day. Shit, if I didn’t know better, I would’ve thought today was the real deal ’cause my girl was on cloud nine. I wasn’t mad at her, though, ’cause I’d be too if I was marrying the love of my life.

  I had yet again come face to face with Malikai, who had barely said hello to me or paid me any mind, and I was looking so good. I remember the last time we all got together for the baby’s christening. The nigga couldn’t keep his eyes off me, and he was with a bitch. I felt a li’l awkward because we had to be partnered up side by side for a while during rehearsal, and while everyone was laughing and joking with their assigned partners, he wanted to be bitter. But for the most part, I ain’t really give a fuck. My mind was on C and getting out of there to be with him.

  On my way home I blasted “Love’s House” with Eddie Love on WBLS. I was definitely in the mood for love. I even did his “take a deep breath and exhale” routine. Shortly after that, he took it there when he played SWV’s “Weak.” Damn, that was my shit back in the day. I was loving this song even more now that I could relate. A nigga damn sure had me feeling weak and outta control. Shit, I was ready to propose marriage to his ass and become Mrs. Corey Hinderson.

  When I got home, there were two messages flashing on my answering machine. I pressed play and began listening while I undressed. The first one was from C. I wondered why he didn’t try me on my cell, until I heard him canceling our plans because of unexpected business. That answered my question: He didn’t want to hear my mouth. That was why he chose to just leave a message on my home phone.

  He ended his message with, “I’m sorry. Don’t be mad. I’m glad you’re back in my life. You know I love your pretty ass, girl. I promise I’ll make it up to you. Keep it warm. I’ll call you later.” With all that said, how could I possibly trip or be mad? I’d been dealing with him long enough to know that business came first.

  Message number two made it rain on my whole fucking parade. At first I couldn’t make out the voices because there was a lot of giggling, kissing, and moaning going on, and then loud and clear I heard the muthafucka say, “Mmmm, Tanya.”

  My mouth dropped as my machine went, “Beep! You have no more messages in your mailbox.” I ran over to my caller ID box to check the number. I clicked back to the first call to make sure I wasn’t bugging the fuck out. Both calls came from C’s cell phone. I ran over to my phone book to compare the numbers, hoping that maybe it was the wrong number, even though I knew there was no way possible. Ain’t it funny how fast shit changes? Just a minute before, I was on top of world, and just that quick this muthafucka done knocked me down. I couldn’t understand it. Why?

  How could he do this to me again, and with that bitch Tanya? I screamed. My pussy was still fresh on his breath, and here he was doing God only knows what with the next bitch. Oooh . . . I couldn’t stand her, and I hated his black ass.

  I played the message again just to analyze the whole shit, then I saved it to use against his ass before he could even think up a lie. I figured it out. You see, his first message about “Oh, I can’t make it ’cause of some unexpected business” message was left at 7:32 p.m. By 8:05, when the next call c
ame, he was taking care of business, all right. I must have been the last call he made, and somehow his cell phone dialed me back.

  Well, that was it. I wouldn’t be falling for the okey-doke no more. If he wanted to be with that skank, fine. I was through crying. Besides, I could do much better in the looks department.

  I felt sorry for their kid, ’cause Tanya wasn’t much to look at and neither was he. Tears filled my eyes as I asked myself one question; Why can’t I be happy?

  As much as I didn’t want to feel it, I couldn’t help it. I was hurting inside. I dropped to my knees, once again with emptiness in my heart. Trying to hold back my tears, I did something I hadn’t done since I was little. I got on my knees and asked God to please help me through this.

  Chapter 24

  SHANA

  I hadn’t missed a visit since me and K.C. decided to work on this jailbird love affair. Especially now that I was officially his Mrs., and needless to say, when we had our first conjugal visit, we fucked like bunny rabbits. It wasn’t nothing like being the first piece of pussy a nigga had in a while. We also talked about the streets, my hustle, and our future plans.

  Things were looking up for him. That’s right, my man might be coming home sooner than we expected. His lawyer discovered that there was some hidden evidence and foul play on the arresting police officer’s part, so his request for an appeal had been granted. He also got some connects in house, so the papers were processed faster.

  I saw K.C. really wasn’t ready to change though. Just like most of the niggas doing time, always talking shit about how when they get out they gon’ come home and do the right thing, and as soon as they get out . . . bam, right back to doing the same shit that cost them their freedom the first time. K.C. hadn’t even smelled freedom’s air yet and here he went. He was already asking me to help him set up C-God for fucking up this kid Smitty that he’s supposedly real cool with.

  Smitty got a baby by K.C.’s li’l sister, and he looked out for K.C. from time to time, hitting him off with a li’l dough for his books before I came back on the scene. I didn’t want to get involved in that shit at all. Nope, I didn’t want no parts of it. That nigga C had a lot of enemies, but I ain’t wanna be one of them. He looked out for me, and if it wasn’t for his connect, I wouldn’t have been on now, or able to keep paper on K.C.’s books like I’d been doing.

  I told him that I worked for C for a while, pushing E pills, and how he respected my gangsta so much that he put me on to his li’l hideout spot where he kept all his pharmaceutical supplies and money. Even how he threatened to kill me if I ever crossed him. Yeah I told him everything, except for how often we used to get our fuck on, or about Chasity, for that matter. His homophobic-ass might’ve killed me or himself if he found out about that. Still, I didn’t wanna burn that bridge with betrayal. C-God ain’t never did me dirty, and I never knew when I might need him again.

  Although I hadn’t heard from the nigga, I didn’t think there was any bad blood between us. Hopefully he wouldn’t suspect I dropped dime and come looking for me. If he did, I hoped K.C. had my back, ’cause now and forever my loyalty was with my man—but I would do what I had to do to protect myself if it came down to it.

  On a lighter note, that night was Keisha’s bachelorette party, her last weekend as a free women. Well, shit, she wasn’t ever free, so let’s just say her last weekend with the last name Moore. She had no idea that I was now a married woman, so I had some celebrating to do myself, and I was ready to get my party on.

  Chapter 25

  EPIPHANY

  I woke up that morning feeling like the Lord was probably gonna work on me slow, because I still felt like shit. I knew if I stayed in this house it would only get worse, so instead of canceling my 10:00 a.m. appointment with Ardie, I decided to get my ass up. First things first, I had all my numbers changed, because I didn’t want no parts of C-God or his lies. I had to start somewhere, and that somewhere meant avoiding his ass by any means necessary. On my way out the house, I grabbed two CDs that I knew would help ease my depression: Mary J’s My Life and No More Drama, because I damn sure couldn’t take any more drama in my life.

  As soon as I arrived at the shop, Ardie rushed me to the back and got started on my wash as usual.

  “Girl, where you been at? I ain’t seen you in a month of Sundays. I know you ain’t seeing a new stylist, ’cause, girl, your hair is a hot mess.”

  I gave into his prying and started telling him all the shit that C was putting me through. Ardie was a straight drama queen, so if anyone could give me some advice, he could. The only thing he kept saying was “What?,” “Uh-uh, girl,” and “Oh, no he didn’t.”

  When he finished up with my hair, Ardie spun my chair around toward the mirror. “Voila! A star is born. Girl, look at you. Besides the fact that I do know how to work a miracle, you are too pretty to be going through this kind of bullshit. Now, suck it up and go find you a winner. Forget that loser, honey. Humph! Life is too short,” he said, sucking his teeth. “Shoot, girl, let me tell you something. You are lucky I love me some dick, ’cause I would’ve been after you, Ms. Thing.” I fell out laughing. “Don’t laugh, girlfriend. That’s a compliment,” Ardie said, placing his hands on his hips.

  Now it was definitely time for me to go. Ardie’s words did make me feel better, but that was a little too much information for me.

  My new style was looking tight. I exhaled and left there feeling like I could breathe again, work it out, and feel unfoolish about it all. That’s right; JLo, Béyonce, and Ashanti put together ain’t have nothing on me.

  I hopped in my car and continued to blast Mary. Singing along with “Rainy Days,” I decided to go see my parents.

  When I pulled up to the house, my father looked like he was on his way out, and my mother’s car wasn’t there. He greeted me with a smile and, of course, some sarcasm. “Hello, stranger. Long time, no see.” I wasn’t gonna stay, but he told me to come inside.

  “Where is Mommy?” I asked, still calling her Mommy like I did when I was little.

  “She got a new gig working at Citibank as a financial consultant, and if nobody else knows, I know she can stash away some cash,” he said, laughing.

  Wow, I wondered what made Mommy want to start working after all those years. Even though she held down every one of Daddy’s laundromats, it never took her long to hire help. She liked being the boss, giving orders, and collecting the dough.

  Daddy always had a way of knowing when something was wrong, especially when I didn’t want him to know. He looked at me and said, “Epee, what’s going on with you?”

  “Nothing, Daddy. I’m good,” I answered back, trying to avoid direct eye contact.

  “So, what do you plan to do with your life, Epee?”

  “Daddy, I really don’t want to get into this.”

  “Well, Epee, it’s time we do. I’m your father, and I really don’t get into your business as much as I should. I know I let you get away with a lot as a child, but you’re an adult now, so it’s time you start making better choices for yourself . . . first, with the niggas you choose to run around with. You know what they say: sometimes we choose our own poison, and that Hinderson boy is gonna take you out slow.”

  I rolled my eyes and folded my arms like I always did when I didn’t get my way, which wasn’t often. Today, I could tell it wasn’t going to work.

  “Look, Daddy, I don’t see him anymore, and I know you love me, but I don’t understand how the same kind of people you want me to stay away from is the same kind of person you used to be. Have you ever thought that maybe I’m attracted to that lifestyle because that’s the way you made me? I want someone to take care of me financially so I don’t have to work. I want to be able to get up and catch a plane to the Bahamas or cruise the islands whenever I want. I wanna do all the things you and Mommy did when you guys were neglecting my needs.”

  My father’s facial expression changed. His face became full of hurt when I said that last part, but i
t was true. All those years, I never told my parents how I really felt. Since he was the one that wanted to talk, I felt it was time I told him how I was feeling.

  “Epee,” he said, “look, I always tried to give you everything, and if I could do it all over again, I wouldn’t change that. I tell you to stay away from my kind ’cause I know shit you don’t. And I also know that it’s not the life I want you to have.

  “Besides, shit is different since when I was in the game. In my days, if you were fine, a brother would do anything just to have you as a trophy on his arm. Now niggas don’t care how fine you are no more. It’s about what’s upstairs. It ain’t about the looks no more, because don’t no man wanna take care of a woman that can’t take care of herself, especially a cat out there hustling in them streets.

  “They’re looking for a woman that’s about something, meaning going to school and getting that education, getting good jobs, and let’s not forget establishing good credit. You see, they’re going for the corporate type. The strong ones that’ll hold ’em down, Epee. It’s like an investment ’cause if they gotta do some time for doing a crime, a nigga expect his lady to hold it down until he gets out.

  “Let’s say he wants to buy a car, house, or whatever. He gon’ look for her to sign for it because her credit’s good.

  “Epee, listen to me. I ain’t gon’ tell you nothing wrong. I’ve seen, done, and been through it all. I was just one of the lucky ones who had a good woman that put up with a lot of bullshit and stuck by me when I was out there doing shit to her and had no business doing it. You see, I had that mind frame that a lot of men out here have when they taking care of everything: You do what you want. A lot of the shit I did for your mother, I did it out of guilt because I was fucking up.

  “I’m glad I’m still here to tell you all these things, because as long as I was out in those streets, hustling and doing fucked-up shit, I should’ve been locked up somewhere or dead a long time ago. That’s how it usually ends up. Niggas don’t care ’bout you, your family, or none of that. They’ll kill you just because of your affiliation. I’ve seen it happen. So, trust and believe me when I tell you how lucky I am to be here. God kept me here for a reason, and I believe that reason is to make sure my baby girl is all right.”