The Sheisty Saga

by T. N. Baker

  With all that my father just said, I started getting emotional when I thought that maybe that was C-God’s reason for holding onto Tanya. Everything my father said made a lot of sense. She was not cute, but she had a degree, a decent job, and probably good credit, and all I had were good looks and material things. I couldn’t hold it back any longer. I started to cry.

  My father came closer to comfort me. It reminded me of when I was a little girl, how I used to cry and throw tantrums thinking that it would keep him from hitting the streets, because I didn’t want him to leave. He would hold me tight and say, “Epee, Daddy loves you, and it’s gonna be all right. Daddy’ll be back.”

  I couldn’t tell him that the nigga he loved to hate got me on this fucking emotional rollercoaster. My father squeezed me tighter and apologized for all the times I might’ve needed him and Mom and they weren’t there. I guess now I understood that they were young, and they showed me love the best way they knew how.

  Chapter 26

  KEISHA

  The Bachelorette Party

  Shana insisted on picking me up. I wasn’t too sure I trusted her driving, but I agreed because after I got my drink on, I didn’t think I’d trust myself behind the wheel either. Lea and Simone, my two friends from school who had shared the same major as me, went all out putting this li’l shindig together for me with the intention of getting me pissy drunk. I would have preferred just having a girls’ night out at the club. Lord knows I hadn’t been to a club in a while. But Lea wasn’t having it. Her exact words were, “Girl, this is your last chance to live a little. You can go to the club anytime, but you might not ever get another chance to see some beautiful black men slinging big dicks in your face. You just remember to thank me when it’s over, girl.”

  Shana arrived at my house a little early, looking real cute. She handed me a medium-sized box wrapped in silver and white wrapping paper with a big, pretty white bow. “Here. This is for after the wedding,” she said, giving me her best strip tease dance while singing “Nasty Girl” by Apolonia 6. We both started laughing, then I noticed she was wearing a nice li’l ring filled with small diamonds on her left ring finger. I grabbed her hand.

  “Oooh, what’s this all about?”

  She smiled and said, “Oh, I ain’t tell you I was married?”

  “No, bitch!” I screamed at her like we always did back in the day when one of us was holding out on some juicy information. Then I proceeded to ask details like who, when, and for how long?

  “Congratulations, girl. Now when is K.C. coming home?” I said, chasing her around for a hug.

  * * *

  On the way to the hotel, I asked Shana to please be cordial to Epiphany and told her that she has to tell her how she feels one day, just not tonight. We had been friends for a long time. We’d seen each other go through some heartaches, pain, good times, embarrassments, and struggles.

  “Shana, we both know that Epiphany is full of herself. She’s conceited, self-centered, and self-righteous; just plain self-absorbed. She can’t help it. That’s just the way she is, and that’s the way she’s been since we’ve known her, so don’t end a long-term friendship over something she can’t change. We all got personality issues, maybe not as bad as Epiphany, but we love each other, and I know we’ll always have each other’s backs, so try to forgive her, ’cause she knows not what she does.” We both busted out in laughs. With all that said, Shana agreed and even admitted to missing her a little bit.

  It was party time! A room filled with about seven of my closest friends and associates yelled out when I arrived to room 202 at the fairly new JFK Sheraton right off of 150th Avenue. The girls had a connecting two-room suite decorated with mini brown dicks hanging from streamers, chocolate dick-shaped lollipops, and a cake with a big dick on it.

  “This is ridiculous,” I said with a smile. “You guys done went dick crazy.”

  “Well, enjoy,” Lea said, “’cause the best is yet to come.”

  I was surprised to see Epiphany there so early, and she was surprised and happy to see Shana. She ran over and gave her a big hug, and everything seemed to be fine, for now. Simone was playing deejay, and her li’l boom box packed a lot of bass. She played some of the hottest songs from way back in the days, while we all tried to remember all the old dances like the whop, cabbage patch, and the Smurf.

  The party really started to jump off when the entertainment came, which was right on time. Although I couldn’t speak for anybody else, I was feeling a li’l hot and a lot tipsy.

  Since Lea was the host, she stood up over by the door of the connecting room and introduced three of the finest shades of chocolate men I had ever seen in my life (at least that was how the alcohol made me feel).

  “Let me present Mr. Goodnight. He’ll put that ass to sleep. Chocolate Ty will take you on a natural high, and oh, yes . . . last but not least, The Damager will put a hurting on the pussy.”

  I almost dropped my drink when he stepped out of the other room. He had a caramel complexion that could just melt in my mouth. Standing about six feet three with a baldy, his chest was covered with a fine texture of hair, and the bulge in his pants was unbelievable.

  They gave Simone a tape to pop in the cassette with songs like Ginuwine’s “Pony,” Jodeci’s “Freakin’ U” remix, and R. Kelly’s “Sex Me.” All three of them immediately came over to me and got the party started. Chocolate Ty picked me up and the chair I was sitting in, while Mr. Goodbar—I mean Mr. Goodnight—laid down on the floor what appeared to be a clear shower curtain, and then me. I closed my eyes, feeling a little nervous about what was about to happen next. Then all three of them participated in covering my body with saran wrap, whipped cream, chocolate syrup, and a variety of fruits, then one by one, starting from my toes, they licked me off. The best was saved for last.

  When I opened my eyes, The Damager was on top of me. I wanted him so bad; the way he touched me made my heartbeat jump between my legs. While the other two were keeping the girls preoccupied, The Damager gently tugged on my shirt, leading me into the other room. I didn’t try to stop him.

  He closed and locked the door then grabbed me by my hair, stuck his long tongue in my mouth, and started caressing my body. His touch felt so good my knees started to buckle; bad enough I only stood five feet two inches against his very large frame. He picked me up and slowly, still working his tongue, walked me over to the bed. I didn’t know what came over me, but I knew what was about to happen, and not one bone in my body wanted to stop it.

  My heart pounded as he began to undress me, and with no hesitation he stuck at least twelve inches of hard dick inside my pulsating, wet pussy and fucked me until my legs started to shake uncontrollably. Then, just as it felt like my insides were going to explode, he snatched his hardness out of me, making me feel like a dope fiend without his dope as my pussy throbbed so hard.

  He made me beg for more as he whispered, “Tell me how bad you want me.”

  “I want you. I want you so bad,” I moaned as he bit on my neck and breast.

  Then he demanded I turn over on my hands and knees so he could toss my salad. After he finished licking and sucking on every inch of my ass, he inserted his dick again and pounded me out from behind, shifting all twelve inches or more up in my guts, giving me a feeling that I had never felt before in my life.

  As soon as I started to cum and thought it couldn’t get any better, he put his face between my legs and slowly drank my pussy’s juices. It was so amazing.

  When I woke up, the clock read 4:00 a.m., and the other room was quiet. The Damager had left. I had a hangover and a sore, swollen pussy. I got up to put my clothes on and noticed he left a business card with his home number on the back. It said Next round is on me. I thought to myself I couldn’t possibly fuck him again. I was about to be a married woman.

  Then the guilt started to hit me hard. I shouldn’t have fucked him in the first place. What the fuck was wrong with me? I waited all these years, right before my wedding, with
a bunch of my friends in the next room, to cheat on the only man I had ever slept with and loved, with a stripper who probably ran around laying pipe to every woman that booked him.

  The thought of him fucking other women the way he fucked me made me feel nasty. I tossed his card right in the garbage. When I opened the door to the other room, Epiphany, Shana, and Lea were still there passed out on the couch and king-sized bed. I didn’t wake them. I just tip-toed over to the bed and lay down in an open space, as if I had crashed there the whole night.

  Chapter 27

  SHANA

  I had a migraine from all the mixes of alcohol I drank the night before. I shouldn’t have gotten so fucked up knowing I had to be at the prison at 9:00 a.m. sharp in order to be able to have our conjugal visit. I was running late. There was no way I would make it there in twenty minutes, so I decided not to even try. I went home and got in the bed, hoping to sleep off the headache I had. Five minutes into a doze, the phone rang.

  “You have a collect call from K.C. Do you accept the charges?”

  “Yes,” I said to the operator. Before I could get a word in, this nigga just started going crazy with twenty questions.

  “Why the fuck you ain’t here? You fucking around on me? Who’s there with you, and where the fuck you been at anyway?”

  “Hold up, K.C. It’s too early in the fucking morning for your bullshit. Damn, I miss one visit and you flipping out on me. I’m your wife now, not one of your li’l girlfriends, so you gon’ have to start trusting me,” I said, feeling like I just put him in his place.

  “Yo, Sha, you the only one out there on them streets really looking out for a nigga, and for that I love you more every day, but always remember this one thing about me, I trust no one, not even my momma. You feel me? Now, check it out. I need you to make it to my next visit, which is tomorrow. You got that, Shana? Tomorrow at one o’clock. I got some shit I need to run by you about that thing we talked about. Yeah, I came up with a plan.”

  “All right, I’ll be there.”

  “Cool,” he said, ending the conversation without an “I miss you,” “love you,” or even “I can’t wait to see you.” Boy, I tell you, unnecessary drama. It was a bad move on my part telling K.C. about my business dealings with C-God. His only concerns were commissary money, visits, and his plans to move in on that nigga C. Was that all I was to him—the missing fucking link to help him get payback? I’d been loyal and he knew that. How could he call me and say some bullshit about trust and in the same breath ask me, someone he didn’t trust, to help him commit murder?

  The phone rang again. I answered it, screaming, “Yes, operator, I’ll accept the charges.” Thinking it was K.C. again, I was ready to give him a piece of my mind.

  “Damn, baby, who made you so mad this early in the morning and got the nerve to be calling you collect?”

  “Who’s this?”

  “Oh, so now you don’t know who this is? What, you got some other chick calling you baby now?”

  “Chasity, what do you want?” I said, sounding annoyed.

  “I want you,” she said.

  “Look, ain’t nothing happening. I told you the last time I saw you that it ain’t going down like that no more. I ain’t feeling it. Besides, I got a man now, so don’t call my numbers no more.” I hung up and unplugged the phone.

  My migraine had just gotten worse.

  Chapter 28

  KEISHA

  As soon as I got home, I ran straight to the bathroom to run me some water for a nice hot bath. Besides me needing one, that was the only thing I could think of that would soothe the soreness my coochie was feeling. Tucker and the baby were still asleep, and I didn’t want to wake them, at least not until I got cleaned up. After my bath, I grabbed my towel and began drying myself off.

  Then I remembered the gift that Shana brought over and decided to open it. I wrapped the towel around my body, still dripping a little, snuck into the bedroom and removed the pretty wrapped box from my night table. Once I tippy-toed back into the bathroom, I closed the door and tried tearing the sturdy wrapping paper open as neatly as possible, but at the same time I was anxious to see what was inside the box. It was a beautiful sheer white negligee with embroidered satin roses on it.

  I slipped it on and saw that it complemented my body’s curves so nicely. I admired myself in the full-length mirror behind the bathroom door and got excited from the thought of Tucker getting excited once he saw me in it. I exotically started to twist my hips to the sound of “Drop It Like It’s Hot” as it played in my head, but then I couldn’t believe what I saw on my left booty cheek: a big, purple passion mark.

  I freaked out. How was I going to explain this and how was I going to hide it? I looked in the medicine cabinet in search of all the high school remedies I could remember for removing a hickey. The comb didn’t work, or toothpaste, and neither did the frozen spoon.

  Knock, knock.

  Tucker knocked on the door, and my nerves started to go crazy. I threw on my sweatpants quickly and opened the locked door.

  “Hey, Keish,” he said, planting his juicy lips on mine. “Why you got the door locked?”

  I stalled a little before I answered, trying to think of a reason why I would lock the door when I usually didn’t. With my heartbeat racing, I told him the truth.

  “I was trying on a little surprise from Shana that I planned to wear for you on our wedding night. If you don’t mind.”

  Damn, that was close, I thought, until Tucker took my hand and placed it on his morning hardness.

  “You feel big poppa? I woke up hard as hell thinking about that pussy.”

  “Tucker, you always wake up hard. Just go to the bathroom. I gotta go check on the baby anyway.”

  “Come on, Keish. The baby’s all right. I’m horny as hell. Let me get a li’l bit. Just lean over the sink and let me hit it from the back.”

  “No, T. What part of no don’t you understand?” I snapped at him, but really I was angry with myself for having to tell him no.

  “Oh, we about to get married and it’s like that. You holding out on the goodies already. Yo, what the fuck is up with that? What time did you bring your ass in here this morning anyway? You out there fucking around with Epiphany’s grimey-ass, ain’t no telling,” he said, getting angry with me.

  “Are you accusing me of something, Tucker? Because if you are, you need to ask yourself should we even be getting married,” I said, flipping my wrongdoings on him. But fuck it—men do it all the time.

  “I don’t know. Should I be? I mean, you was out all night, and now I can’t get no pussy. You ain’t never told me no before. Now all of a sudden I can’t have none, so what I’m supposed to think?”

  “You ain’t supposed to think nothing. You supposed to just trust me,” I said.

  This heated discussion seemed as if it was gonna last forever, and my conscience was starting to wear me down with guilt. Over and over again in my head, one side was saying I shouldn’t have done it, and the other side was saying, “Fuck it. You only live once, and at least it was good.” All I knew was at that very moment, I just wished the night before had never happened, the hickey was gone, and this discussion was over.

  Beep, beep, beep, beep.

  Somebody upstairs must have been listening, because that’s the way Tucker’s cell phone rang when there was drama. He called it “the warning,” biting off of the way Biggie’s pager went off in the beginning of his song “Warning.” That meant two things: some shit just went down, or it was about to go down.

  Tucker ran out of the bathroom to catch his cell before the ringing stopped. His frustration was no longer toward me but to whoever he was on the cell with, because all I heard him yell was, “What? Where the fuck was y’all at? Man, y’all some damn asses. Where’s Mali at? A’ight, yo, I’m on my way.” And out the door he went without saying another word to me.

  Chapter 29

  EPIPHANY

  I was the last one to leave the hotel room. Si
nce I had no one to go home to, there wasn’t any rush. I ordered the deluxe breakfast from room service and went back to sleep until checkout.

  I had a good time the night before, ’cause it gave me a chance to get my mind off of you-know-who and to hang out with my girls like we used to.

  I couldn’t believe Keisha had given up her goody-twoshoes crown that night. All that moaning she was doing in the other room made me want to form a line at the door and go next. I knew she had some bad girl up in her somewhere.

  That was my girl. Shit, niggas had been doing it for years and still were. Look at C’s cheating-ass, telling me he loved me and then when he left me to go and take care of so-called business, he was laying up with the next bitch, playing house and picking out baby names. I hated that lying bastard.

  Speaking of the devil, I approached my street and noticed C-God’s truck parked in front of my apartment. I got weak from the sight of his truck, I knew mentally I wasn’t ready to see him face to face, so I just kept driving.

  Once again the pain took over. Trying to fight depression, thoughts of encouragement stroked my ego. Epiphany Janee Wright, snap out of it. You’re the one in control. You’re strong, tough, the one who gets what she wants and then breaks away. A certified heartbreaker . . . with a broken heart.

  No matter how hard I tried to convince myself, it wasn’t working. It’s so hard to get out of the situation when your heart won’t do what you want it to do. It felt like I had fallen and couldn’t get up.

  I ended up at the mall on Sunrise Highway. Shopping always made me feel better. Unfortunately, I saw nothing I wanted, so I only purchased a bottle of a new fragrance by BCB Girls called Nature and headed back to the car. I assumed the coast would be clear by now, ’cause that nigga C ain’t had no time to be staking out in front my crib like that—not for long anyway. The streets were always calling him.