October Breezes

by Maria Rachel Hooley

  Although I tried not to dwel on it, I kept thinking back to when my mom and dad were stil married, and Devin and I had spent most afternoons working on homework and jumping on that trampoline. It seemed like a lifetime ago, and no matter how hard I tried to find the path back, time’s undergrowth had obscured it, leaving me here.

  “You okay?” Devin asked softly, stroking my hand. His frown etched lines into his forehead, and I knew he was worried.

  Nodding, I said, “Yeah. I’m fine.”

  His frown deepened, and he didn't believe a word I’d said. “What’cha thinking?”

  I rose and stroled to the window, gazing out at the trampoline. “Remember when we spent every afternoon out there, even when it was cold?”

  Devin walked up beside me. “Your mom threatened to ground you if you stepped out back when it was icy. She used to say, ‘You’l break your fool neck.’”

  I laughed. His imitation was pretty good. Then again, we’d been best friends forever, so he must have heard Mom say it as much as I had. “My parents were stil married, and everything made sense.”

  Devin slipped his arm around my shoulder and rested his forehead against mine. “I wish I knew what to say.”

  “Me, too.”

  He pecked my temple. “Hey, let’s go outside and jump.

  How about that?”

  Despite al the mixed feelings I couldn’t sort out, I smiled.

  “You’re on. Let me get my coat.” He waited in the kitchen until I’d returned wearing my coat and carrying his. “You might want this back?”

  “Yeah, thanks.” Devin slipped the coat on. “I got a lecture about going outside without it. Mom thinks I'm stil five.”

  “A 6'4" five-year-old," I mused. "Poor baby.” We slipped into the backyard and hopped onto the trampoline, puled off our shoes, and dropped them into the dead grass.

  As Devin stood, he asked, “Do you think it wil hold us? I mean I’ve gained almost a foot in height, and you...” he looked me over, “You’ve realy chunked up.”

  Blushing, I baled my fingers into a fist and slugged his shoulder. “Shut up!” Even as my hand contacted his muscles, I wondered if he had felt me strike. I, on the other hand, winced from the pain radiating in my wrist. “That hurt,” I moaned, shaking my hand.

  “Wel, you shouldn’t go around hitting people. It’s not nice.” He stepped to the trampoline's center and jumped, sending me airborne. Then I landed on my butt.

  “I did not ‘chunk up,’” I snapped, struggling to stand.

  “And you know it!”

  Devin saw my indignant expression and laughed. “I was just joking, Skye. You look fine.” He jumped again.

  I’d never realy thought about how long his legs were before, but suddenly I recognized just how tal he had grown as I struggled with every new bounce to stand. “Stop that!” I tried to yel. Laughter croaked my voice.

  “Stop what?” He bounced higher and grinned wickedly.

  “Stop bouncing!” I cried in exasperation as I fel. Devin quickly seized the opportunity to pretend to bounce on me, only to change his destination at the last second. Stil, he had come close enough to make me squeal.

  “You sound like a girl.” He leaned over and offered a hand to help me up, which I accepted.

  “Fancy that. I am a girl.”

  “What?” He plastered an expression of mock disbelief.

  “My best friend is…a girl!”

  I planted my hands on my hips. “Yeah, wel, I can stil get the best of you.”

  Devin mimicked my stance. “Are you chalenging me?”

  “Yeah.” I hopped off the trampoline and motioned for him to folow. Although it had been years since we’d wrestled, when we were younger I’d pinned him at least half the time. He had often complained that the years I’d spent in balet had beefed up my leg muscles, giving me an unfair advantage. Now I expected that advantage to help again, never mind that I hadn’t danced in two years and Devin now towered over me.

  I charged his legs first. He scooted away, then tripped me. As I fel, he flipped me onto my back, straddled my hips, and pinned my wrists. He smiled. “You were saying?” Holding me there, I felt his strength and knew that unless he released me, I wasn't getting out from under him. I swalowed hard, stil amazed at the changes a few years had wrought.

  Both of us were breathing hard, and Devin’s face lingered inches from mine. A knot formed in my stomach, and I felt breathless staring into his dark eyes, closer to him than I’d ever been. My heart rammed my chest. For a few seconds, I wondered what it would feel like to kiss him, but then a voice in my mind said, He’s your best friend, Stupid. He wouldn’t like you , not like that. Blushing, I looked away and asked, “Can I get up now?”

  His fingers eased, and he let me go. “Sure.” His voice sounded strange, tangled with an emotion I couldn’t name. He stood and offered a hand. We walked to the trampoline and sat down.

  “Why does everything have to change?” I asked, peering at the slate heavens. “Why can’t we find a happy time we like and stay there?” I lay back and put my hands behind my head. My legs dangled over the edge of the trampoline, and I gently swung them back and forth, crossing my ankles.

  Devin, too, lay back, but instead of staring at the sky, his gaze lingered on my face. “Maybe because we don’t always recognize the happy moments when we’re in them, so we let them go, thinking the future wil be even better—and sometimes it's not.”

  Chapter Six

  On Monday morning, Devin and I started toward the school's entrance, where students clustered, whispering. Their weighted gazes settled on me. Cheerleaders dressed for the afternoon pep raly seemed to stare in unison before turning away, laughing.

  “You’ve reached celebrity status,” Devin said dryly, frowning.

  “How do you know they’re looking at me?” I adjusted my books. "Maybe they're checking you out."

  “Not a chance. Besides, you’re dating the school’s meal ticket to the state playoffs.” The cheerleaders looked at him, whispering and laughing. “Oh, look. The cheerleaders are utilizing their colective brain cel.” He shoved his hands deep into his pockets.

  “Devin,” I whispered. “Stop that!” I barely contained my laughter as we turned into the halway. Kelin and Tyler waited beside my locker. Although Kelin's back faced me, Tyler immediately caught sight of me. He cupped one palm and lightly punched his fist into it.

  “I’l see you later,” Devin said and stroled in the opposite direction, his gaze linking with Kelin’s. Although Kelin smiled, the warmth didn’t touch his eyes. A knowing look passed between them. Al the while, Tyler stared at me.

  “I’l see you for lunch,” I replied. As I opened my locker, Kelin stepped behind me, slipped his arms around my waist, and kissed my ear.

  “Good morning.”

  Disconcerted not only by his arms about me but also Tyler's concentrated stare, I felt as though I were being auditioned for something; I just didn’t know what. I lowered my ear to my shoulder, nudging him away. His aftershave made my head spin.

  “What’s the matter?” Kelin stil ed, and his edgy tone suggested no one had ever pushed him away.

  “That tickles,” I said, reaching for my books. I peered in the mirror hanging from the locker door, checking my hair. I also examined Kelin's expression--a wide, careless smile. His untamed expression bothered me. “Besides, I’m don't want to get written up.” I turned to face him, and he reluctantly released me as I closed my locker.

  “Don't be sily. Nobody’s going to write you up for PDA.” He raked his fingers through his hair. He frowned expectantly. “You're not very happy to see me.”

  Tyler, shuffling his weight from one foot to the other, pointed down the halway. “I’m going to my locker. I’l see you later, Kelin.” He gave me one last glance and walked away.

  Kelin nodded and smiled. “Yeah, later.”

  After his friend had left, Kelin turned to me. “Why aren’t you glad to see me? Didn’t you have a goo
d time Saturday?”

  “Yeah, I did.” I smiled, thinking of his embrace.

  “Then what’s the deal?” Kelin folded his arms across his chest defensively and blocked my path. Standing before him, I felt dwarfed.

  “I’m not ready to go this fast.”

  “Okay, so we'l go slower. Wil that work?”

  “Yeah, I think it wil.” Turning toward Kelin, I scrutinized his features, the wave of his blond hair and his blue eyes flecked with hints of grey. His lips tilted into a half-smile. The Kelin I'd expected wouldn't have agreed to such patience. He had either practiced this sincerity or he realy did mean it.

  We headed down the hal , and our shoulders occasionaly brushed as we stroled toward my first period, his hand reaching for mine and softly squeezing. As timing would have it, we passed under a ringing bel, alerting students only five minutes remained before class began.

  I jumped and Kelin stuck his finger in his ear and wiggled it, trying to restore his hearing as he shook his head. “Man, that was loud!”

  “Yeah, it was.” We reached M s. Swanson's doorway, where I turned toward him, my heart racing. “This is where we part.” I saw Becca hovering in the shadows.

  “Skye?” He slowly released my hand.

  The depth of his blue eyes mesmerized me. I stared at his square face, the hard line of his jaw, the ful lips. My breath caught, and I couldn't have spoken had I wanted to. I was stunned by the perfection of his features, al too aware I did not often look him in the eye because of the rugged beauty mixed with strength, and I didn’t understand why he wanted me so badly. Then, I realized he was asking me out.

  I swalowed hard and averted my gaze. “I can’t. I’m supposed to spend Saturday with my dad.” My stomach lurched, and each breath left me lightheaded. “I haven’t seen him in a few years.”

  Kelin stepped back, alowing enough space so that someone else could pass between us. “If you don’t want to go, just say so.” He shoved his hands deep into his pockets. "I'm not gonna twist your arm or anything."

  I reached for his hand, my fingers barely able to latch onto it. “I do want to. But I realy can’t.”

  “Are we stil on for the party? We have a footbal game before it, and after I showered, we could go from there.” He squeezed my hand. “I think you’d like it.”

  Although the thought of people getting drunk and acting stupid hardly appealed to me, I knew, feeling his fingers about my hand, that I'd go, even if it meant lying to my mom. There’s no way she would consider letting me participate in that extra-curricular activity. Taking a deep breath, I said, “Sure.”

  Kelin beamed, his eyes glowing with happiness. He leaned over and kissed my cheek. “That’s my girl. I’l see you later.” He squeezed my hand one last time, then strode down the hal, deterred only momentarily by Becca before continuing his course.

  Although the morning flew by, I had trouble focusing on much else besides Kelin. His image refused to leave. As the lunch bel rang, I walked to the bathroom. While in the stal, I heard two girls come in.

  “Did you see who Kelin is going out with?” an unfamiliar voice gushed.

  Laughter. “Yeah, Skye Wiliams.”

  My stomach clenched, and I wished I could disappear, but since that wasn’t going to happen, at least I could see who talked about me. I leaned forward, my fingers splayed wide on the door, and peered through the crack. Crystal Gailin and Becca Haskins scrutinized their reflections. Blonde in stereo.

  Inhaling sharply, I felt as though the air had been knocked out of my body. My fingers drew together into fists.

  “I thought Kelin liked you,” Crystal said, reapplying her lip gloss to her pouted lips. "You're the cheerleader, not her. She's a zero on the food chain."

  “He did like me, until he spotted her.” Becca leaned over the sink and coated her lashes with mascara.

  Crystal pursed her lips, blending the gloss with the lip color beneath. “So what’s he doing with someone so...beneath him?

  She’s a nobody.” She fluffed her hair, puled a smal bottle of hair spray from her purse, and covered her curls. "Not that I'd mind taking Devin Abbott for a spin."

  Becca shook her head, laughing. "He wouldn't know what do with a girl unless it were Skye."

  I clenched my teeth and leaned against the wal, wishing they'd shut up. Cringing, I hated the way she talked about Devin more than the way she talked about me. She didn't know either of us.

  “She's a flavor of the week,” Becca went on. “After al, he’s a guy, and everybody knows she’s easy.”

  My fingers curled into fists, and my heart rammed in my chest. I wanted to fly out and hit her, but I knew girls like Becca played a different game.

  “So what's the game plan?” Crystal asked.

  “Wait until he comes to his senses,” Becca replied, admiring the way her uniform's skirt rode up, exposing her thighs.

  “He’l get bored, and then I’l have him.”

  I heard them scoop up their purses and keys. Then they left. I counted to five, opened the door, and emerged, my body shaking. As I walked to the sink, I didn’t recognize the wild-eyed girl peering back from the mirror. A flush colored my cheeks , and a scowl had transformed my expression. Although I hadn't smiled much lately, this person appeared furious. Turning on the water, I realized my hands shook badly . Everybody knew I was easy?

  Funny, I hadn’t know—until now. Hot tears ebbed down my face, and it took everything I had not to break down. I wet a paper towel and dabbed my face, then I reapplied my make-up as best my fumbling fingers alowed.

  I peeked out, looking for the cheerleaders, but they had gone, so I headed toward the vending machines. Perhaps I should have gotten a salad or a burger, but the last thing I wanted was to stand in line as though on exhibit. Instead, I bought chips and soda.

  Without saying a world, I sat across from Devin, tugged the bag open, and took a drink.

  “Now that’s a great lunch.” Devin pointed to his tray. “I thought you liked lasagna.”

  “I don’t feel ethnic today,” I replied tightly, carefuly averting my gaze. The last thing I needed was to fal apart right here. Crystal and Becca sat three tables over, commiserating.

  Although I tied not to pay attention to them, I felt them staring.

  “You al right?”

  I grabbed my soda and saw Kelin and Tyler heading toward me, Kelin laughing as Tyler spoke and elbowed him. As Kelin headed to my table, he almost ran into Becca as she stood, and he grabbed her arms to keep his balance. She beamed a smile and spoke, grabbing his arm possesively.

  That was al I could take; I strode toward the exit, leaving my chips and soda.

  “Skye?” Devin caled, abruptly rising. He glanced at me, then at Kelin and Becca.

  Ignoring him, I walked faster, heading toward the glass doors of the office. Within ten seconds, Devin had jogged up beside me and laid his hands on my shoulders, squeezing reassuringly.

  “What’s wrong?”

  I folded my arms across my stomach and swalowed hard.

  “I feel sick. I’m caling my mom.” Stepping back, I forced him to let me go.

  He frowned and shoved his hands deep into his pockets.

  “You were fine this morning.”

  “Leave me alone!” I snapped. Tears clouded my vision, blurring everything. I brushed my hand across my face.

  Devin stepped into my path and headed me off. “You're not sick. It's something else.”

  I shrugged. “I don’t want to talk.” I slipped into the glass-waled office and told the secretary I needed to cal my mother. As I dialed, Devin watched me. Once she answered, I told her that I wasn’t feeling wel and asked her to come get me.

  Devin was stil staring when I hung up. Maybe he hadn’t heard the rumors, but he would. I could imagine him, hands on hips, saying, "I told you so."

  Realizing I wasn't going to talk, he shook his head and headed back to the cafeteria. On the way, he ran into Bethany.

  They spoke and walked
away together.

  As I waited, Kelin pushed the office door open and stepped inside. The secretary smiled. “Kelin, aren’t you supposed to be at lunch?”

  He nodded. “Yeah, but I saw Skye, and I needed to ask her about my English assignment. Would that be al right?”

  The secretary nodded. “Make it quick. She's not feeling wel.”

  "Thanks." He sat beside me. "Hey,” he said, sitting down.

  “You okay?”

  “I'm sick.” I glanced at the clock, gauging how much time had passed. “My mom's picking me up.”

  He caressed my hand. “Sorry you don’t feel wel.”

  “Don’t.” I puled away.

  "Did I do something wrong?" he asked softly, staring ahead.

  “What did you tel Tyler and everyone else about us?”

  Kelin frowned and raked his fingers through his hair.

  “Tyler knows we’re going out. Who is ‘everyone else?’”

  “Crystal Gailen and Becca Haskins.” I started trembling, my body violently shaking. My lips felt dry and I licked them, trying to ease the chapped sensation.

  “I didn’t tel them anything. Becca saw us at the movies.

  Why?” He leaned back, now staring at me expectantly.

  My mom stopped outside the office where she tapped on the glass and waved to the secretary.

  “I’ve got to go. My mom's here.” I stood.

  Kelin rose. “I’l cal you tonight, okay?”

  “Okay.” Maybe I should have said, “Don’t bother,” but deep inside, I wanted to believe him.

  Chapter Seven

  I didn’t eat much that night and spent the evening in my room. I'd thought about talking to my mom and intended to go downstairs, but as I opened my bedroom door, the doorbel rang.

  Half-expecting it to be Devin, I stood stil, listening.

  “How’s Skye?” Warren’s deep voice carried up to me, and I immediately wondered why he bothered.

  “I think she’s got a stomach flu. She’s been in the bathroom a lot.”

  I shook my head and shut the door, embarrassed. Trust Mom to tell it like it is. I lay on my bed, and as I turned to one side, I spotted the worn copy of To Kill a Mockingbird Warren had given me. It sat on the bookshelf. Bored, I grabbed it and opened the cover to find an inscription.