A Very Crimson Christmas (Crimson, Colorado 4)

by Michelle Major

  He leaned back to look into her eyes. “I say you’re beautiful and you laugh?”

  His gaze searched hers.

  “You don’t have to whisper sweet nothings to me. This is enough.” She awkwardly gestured to the muscles rippling across his skin. “More than enough.”

  “It’s not nothing.” He sat up, shifting so she was next to him on the couch. “You. Are. Beautiful.”

  She placed her hand over her chest, not to hide from him, but because her heart suddenly felt as if it might float away. It was light and sweet, like carnival-spun cotton candy. She felt as though she shed a hundred pounds and years of worry in that moment. “I want you, Liam,” was all she could think of to say. She lifted his hand, pressing it against her skin along with her own. “I want this now.”

  His eyes tracked to the door leading to the hallway.

  “Austin and Ruth sleep like the dead,” she quietly assured him.

  “Thank God,” he said on a choked laugh. He leaned forward and kissed her again, pushing her back along the couch. His fingers went to the waistband of her scrub pants. He pulled them, along with her underpants, down over her legs. Cool air brushed her sensitized skin and she drew in a shuddered breath, too on edge, too ready to even be self-conscious. Then he stood and unbuttoned his jeans, pulling a condom out of the wallet in his back pocket before shoving them off. He was perfect from head to toe, a sculpted chest and lean hips. Her head buzzed with wanting.

  A moment later he was over her, his kiss more intense, full of the same need Natalie felt to her core. His hand reached between them, finding her center, as he caught her gasp with his mouth. Instinctively, she parted to give him better access. But as the pressure built, she realized she didn’t want this to happen without him. After so many years of denying herself pleasure, of focusing on making it through each day, this act of abandon felt wild and indulgent, much like her feelings for Liam had always been.

  She reached for his hand, pulling it away. “Together, Liam. Now.”

  He shifted again, fit himself to her, and then they were joined. All the sensations she’d held back crashed together at once, a mix of light and sound in her head, almost overwhelming in its intensity. So she held on to Liam, locked her gaze on his. The emotion in his gray eyes grounded her, allowed her to feel without being afraid of losing herself. For someone who spent most of her life being afraid of something, it was a revelation for Natalie. Letting go of her fear was the best medicine she could imagine.

  I love you.

  The words were on the tip of her tongue, but she didn’t say them. She might be having a moment, but that didn’t mean she was going to admit it to Liam. He held her as they moved together, as if she were precious, as if she would always be safe inside the warmth of his embrace. The pressure built, each thrust exquisite torture for her. She hitched in a breath, then whispered his name as she broke apart. A moment later she felt him shudder, and he buried his head in the crook of her neck.

  * * *

  I love you.

  Liam bit down on his tongue, hard, to keep from saying the words out loud. Maybe he’d never stopped loving her. Their time together had been short and they’d been so young. When he left Crimson, he’d blamed his heartache on the guilt over the accident, not the pain of being rejected by one more person he loved. That had been too much to process, so he’d shoved it aside, convinced himself that all they’d had together was a teenage fling.

  He couldn’t ignore the truth any longer. Being with Natalie in this moment was the first time since he’d left Crimson he’d been truly content. He held on to her until his breathing slowed and he could regain control of the storm inside. He’d put himself on the line for her once and couldn’t stand the thought that she might hurt him again. Would not risk that, especially when he still believed there were secrets between them.

  As soon as the thought appeared in his mind, he felt her pulling away. Not physically; she continued to stroke her delicate fingers down his back. But he could almost see her rebuilding her walls as they lay there. Maybe that was better. It would make it less complicated when he left, at least that’s what he told himself. The splitting pain in his chest told a different story.

  “So that was a nice way to wake up from a nap,” he said softly, dropping a kiss at the hollow of her throat.

  It was better for both of them to keep this moment light. Easier than the alternative. He didn’t want to fight with her tonight, wouldn’t risk tainting what had just happened between them.

  He felt her jerk a little in surprise, wondered what she’d expected from him. Thought of all the reasons he’d given her to not trust him.

  She moved slowly, shifting off him. “Hopefully it will give me some energy for another late night.”

  He moved his legs to give her room on the sofa. She bent forward and tossed his shirt and jeans to him. “Don’t look at my butt.”

  “You started it.”

  She smiled, just a little, but that was enough for him. If she was freaked out by what had happened, she was handling it well.

  Getting dressed, he watched as she grabbed her things and moved to the far side of the room behind the couch.

  “What are you doing?”

  “There’s more privacy over here,” she said, her voice muffled by the shirt she pulled over her head.

  “Privacy?” He chuckled. One minute she was wrapped around him like a pretzel and the next she needed privacy to put on her clothes. Her contradictions never ceased to fascinate him.

  “You never answered my question. What are you doing here so late? Olivia would have stayed.”

  “I’m staying,” he answered. “Here, I mean. At the farmhouse for a few days. Until Christmas probably.” He pulled his shirt over his head, not exactly surprised that she was standing in front of him when he finished.

  “You absolutely aren’t staying here.” She pointed one finger at him, waving it back and forth.

  “In the old office above the barn, actually,” he clarified. “I had a bed moved in tonight along with my things.”

  “What about your house in town?”

  “Tanner will stay at the rental.”

  “Why would you want to give up that place and come here?”

  He wiggled his eyebrows at her, patting the couch as he did. “I can think of at least one benefit.”

  Without hesitation, she kicked him in the shin. Hard.

  “Oww. What the hell, Natalie?” He jumped up from the couch and hobbled to the end of the room as he sucked in deep breaths. She’d put back on her work clogs, so that kick meant business.

  “What the hell, Liam?” she mimicked. “You could have mentioned that tidbit of information before. I’m not your friend with benefits, you know.”

  “I know.” He held out his hands, palms up. “I was joking.”

  “Not funny. You can’t stay here.”

  “I can and I’m going to.” He lifted his leg, rubbing his shin with his palm. “This isn’t about you.”

  She crossed her arms over her chest and grunted.

  He had it bad when she made a grunt sound sexy.

  “It’s not entirely about you. I need to figure out what happened to Ruth’s money.”

  “So you’re here to watch me?” She threw her hands into the air. “I can’t believe I just got naked with you.”

  “No way.” He dropped his leg and stalked toward her. “Don’t bring that into this. I’m not here to watch you.” He paused then added, “Exactly.”

  He was pretty sure her head was about to start spinning. “Exactly?”

  “I’m here to watch Ruth. To watch out for her. You knew that from the start.”

  “I told you I didn’t steal the money.”

  “I believe you.”

  “If you only...” She stopped,
tilted her head. “Did you say you believe me?”

  “I’m not the enemy, Natalie.” He was close enough now to reach out and trace his finger along the beard burn on the side of her neck. He’d put that there, marked her. It gave him a burst of primal satisfaction. “If you tell me what’s going on—”

  “You said you believed—”

  “I also think there’s more to the story than you’re sharing.”

  She glanced at the doorway leading to the hall as if she might make a run for it. “I need to work on the jewelry or I’ll never get to sleep tonight.”

  He waited for her to say more, but she grabbed her coat off a chair and turned.

  “I’ll walk you over there.” He shoved his feet into a pair of gym shoes and followed her.

  “No need.” She threw the words over her shoulder, not slowing her pace.

  “I’m heading to the barn anyway.” He took his jacket from the row of hooks near the front door and followed her out into the night. The air was so crisp and cold it almost took his breath away. A thousand stars twinkled in the clear sky above them, the only sound the crunch of snow under their feet. He didn’t want this rigid distance between them. He wanted to pull her into his arms and kiss her until she was pliant again.

  “How’s the search for a new headquarters?” she asked suddenly, glancing at him from beneath her lashes.

  “Fine...good,” he stammered.

  “Are you bringing the company to Crimson?” She took a set of keys out of her pocket as they got nearer to the barn.

  The question stunned him, especially after the comment he’d made to Tanner about Vermont. “I’m meeting with some people from town council and the county tomorrow,” he offered, hedging on a direct answer.

  “I’m not the only one holding back.” The smile she gave him was sad.

  It amazed him that she could read his intentions so easily. He wouldn’t have gotten nearly as far in business if everyone was as perceptive as Natalie.

  She turned the key in the lock, opened the side door of the barn and flipped on a switch to bathe the mudroom in fluorescent light. He squinted against the abrupt change. “Is this how it’s always going to be for us?” he asked quietly. “Neither of us willing to budge once we draw a line in the sand?”

  “I don’t know, Liam. I want...”

  He held his breath, wondering if this was the moment that would change what was between them.

  She shook her head, as if whatever she had to tell him was too raw. “Everything I want now is for Austin. He’s my priority.”

  “He’s lucky to have you.” He gestured to the workshop behind her. “Do you want some company while you work?”

  She rose up on tiptoes and kissed the edge of his mouth, drawing away before the kiss could take off into something more for either of them. “Thank you, but I get pretty involved in the jewelry when I’m making it. Go to bed, Liam. I’m sorry I reacted the way I did about you staying here. You have every right to be near Ruth. Having you around has made her so happy.”

  “She deserves as much happiness as I can provide. Good night, Nat.” He walked up the steps to his makeshift bedroom, but it was hours before he finally fell asleep.

  Chapter Twelve

  Running in five different directions while juggling a half dozen balls in the air seemed to be the story of Natalie’s life. She’d taken off early from her shift at the senior center the next day to drive to Aspen to pick up a skateboard she’d specially ordered for Austin for Christmas. A wreck on the two-lane highway that ran between the two towns delayed her return. She’d been about to call one of her friends when her cell rang. It had been Liam, who had immediately sensed something was wrong and offered to pick up Austin from school.

  It was difficult enough for Natalie to rely on her friends so she’d said no. He’d insisted. Now, an hour after Austin’s school let out, she found a parking spot on Crimson’s crowded main street and dashed toward the Life is Sweet bakery, where Liam had texted her from a few minutes ago.

  She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw her son’s dark head at a table near the window. Her feet stopped moving for a moment as she watched Liam and Austin together. Austin’s wide smile was contagious, and Liam laughed at something he said then ruffled his hair, the same way she’d done so many times. Shoppers and tourists jostled her as they walked past. The middle of the sidewalk was no place to stand still the week before Christmas.

  Stepping into the bakery, some of the tension in her back and shoulders eased. The deliciously sweet scents and warmth of Katie’s shop were hard to resist.

  “Hey, guys.” She bent to kiss Austin’s cheek, then smiled as Liam tilted his face toward her like a dare. Instead, she awkwardly patted his arm. “Sorry I’m late today, buddy.” Her gaze met Liam’s. “Thanks for getting him.”

  “My pleasure.” He glanced behind her. “You should know—”

  “Grandma’s here, too,” Austin announced, spooning up a bit of pecan pie. “Mom, you’ve got to try this.”

  He held it up for her, but Natalie’s mouth had gone dry. “You eat it, hon,” she managed.

  “Sorry,” Liam whispered, cringing a little. Trudy had that effect on people. “She saw us in the window.”

  “And what a cozy scene it was.” Natalie turned as her mother sauntered up to the table, her penciled-in eyebrows almost hitting her hairline as she gave Natalie one of her patented death stares. “I haven’t been in here since Katie’s grandma owned the place. Prices have gone up. Two bucks for a cup of coffee? What a rip-off. But the food looks good.”

  “It’s the best,” Austin confirmed as Natalie worked to swallow the bile that rose in her throat. “I can’t believe you haven’t been here, Grandma. You work right around the corner. Mom and I come in for a snack every chance we get.”

  “Is that so?” Trudy pushed in next to Natalie, crowding her, making her head spin with the smell of old perfume and cigarettes. “Next time have her bring you by to visit me.”

  “I take him to the bar enough, Mom,” Natalie said through clenched teeth. “If you want to see him more, we can make other plans.”

  “Plans that involve his father, I hope,” Trudy muttered. “Not some virtual stranger.” She threw a pointed look at Liam, who helped himself to a bite of Austin’s pie.

  “These might beat out Katie’s brownies as your favorite, huh?” he asked, clearly implying knowledge of Austin’s preferences in front of Trudy.

  Natalie bit back a strangled laugh. Too bad the bakery didn’t serve liquor. She could use some liquid fortification right about now.

  “Liam’s not a stranger, Grandma.” Austin picked up a corner of crust as he spoke. “He and Mom are old friends. He invited me to the island where he has a house. It would be cool to go to the beach this summer. He even has a plane that would pick me up.”

  Natalie heard her mother’s gasp. “Do you know how many private jets crash each year, Austin? And what happens when they go down?”

  Austin shook his head, the chunk of crust suspended in the air.

  “People die.”

  For a moment Natalie was as riveted as her son, compelled by the fervency of her mother’s tone. She’d listened to Trudy’s rants for as long as she could remember. She thought she’d outgrown her mother’s ardent fears, but she felt her stomach churning at the thought of taking Austin on a trip anywhere. Which was how she’d ended up tied to Crimson her whole life.

  “Fiery, painful deaths. You can hear their screams as the skin melts—”

  “Mom!” Natalie grabbed Trudy’s arm, yanking her hard. “That’s enough.”

  “You can’t let him go.” Trudy grabbed her right back, her fingers twisting Natalie’s arm under the fabric of her parka and thick sweater.

  “We haven’t made any plans.” Natalie flinched again
st her mother’s viselike hold.

  “Mrs. Holt, this is my fault.” Liam shifted in his chair as both Natalie and her mother turned to face him. “I talked to Austin about the beach. It seemed like a good way to forget about the cold temperatures as we walked downtown. But I would never put him in any danger. Austin or Natalie. I promise you.”

  Her heart gave an uneven beat as she watched the sincerity in his gaze. It took a special man to face her mother’s brand of crazy and take responsibility for it. She wanted to reach out and touch him, to once again ground herself in his rationality.

  Her mother leaned forward instead. “I know your type, Liam Donovan. You think you’re so important. You come in here and make promises you won’t keep, make my daughter believe she’s better than she is. I know different, and so does my Natalie. I want no part of what you’re selling.”

  Liam lifted his hands. “I’m not—”

  “Austin, your father wants to see you for Christmas. He misses you very much and has lots of plans for the two of you. He’s going to see your mother, too. They might—”

  “Mom, stop!”

  Trudy blinked several times, as if coming back to herself. It was like her mother had gone to her own personal revival and been filled with a spirit, a mean and bitter spirit intent on battering down the foundation of Natalie’s life. “I’ve got to get to work,” her mother said. Without another word to any of them, she turned and walked away, the bells from above the door chiming merrily as she left.

  Natalie wanted to run, too, but she sank down into the chair between Liam and Austin, her knees like jelly in the wake of her mother’s outburst.

  “Is Dad really coming to Crimson for Christmas?” Austin asked, his eyes wide. She couldn’t tell if it was anticipation or apprehension in his eyes.

  “I don’t know, buddy,” she answered honestly. “He hasn’t contacted me, and I don’t have any plans to see him. If he’s talked to Grandma—”

  “You need a piece of cake. Right this very minute.” Natalie felt a hand envelope her shoulders. Katie stood next to her, sliding a small plate in front of her. “You okay?” her friend asked.