A SEAL's Courage

by JM Stewart

  Neither could he regret that kiss. For a moment he remembered what it was to be human again. That was the problem with being around her. He was addicted to the way she soothed his soul. Her words had kept him company for the last two hours, taunting him with what he wanted so badly his balls ached. To be her first.

  The thought of her making love to anyone else, to one of these yahoos who could easily hurt her, had his gut tied in sickening knots and his hands curling into fists where they rested on his thighs. The images filled his head. Her bare skin and soft curves wrapped around someone who wasn’t him. Her calling out someone else’s name. Tension skittered along his nerve endings, and his right thigh began to bounce.

  Will slid into the seat beside him, nudging him with an elbow and jarring him from his tangled thoughts. “How you holding up?”

  Trent darted a sideways glance at his brother. “I’m okay.”

  At least he was in the regard Will was referring to. The shit in his head. The combat stress. Despite the crowd and the noise, Lauren kept him focused. Grounded. Like always.

  “Are you?”

  “I’m okay.” He leaned over to bump Will’s shoulder for reassurance.

  Since he’d come home, Will had become overprotective, like everyone else in his family. With Will, though, it was different. They’d watched out for each other since they were kids, and because they knew each other so well, Will saw far more than anybody else. When Trent needed something or when something bothered him. Like now. No doubt Will had noticed his silence and tension.

  Now, however, Trent couldn’t resist the pull of a confidant. If there was one person in this world he could talk to without being judged, it was Will.

  He looked over the crowd, watching Lauren. A slow song had started, and some other guy had her in his arms. Which did nothing but give him a fucking visual to go with the tormenting images swirling in his brain. “Hypothetical question.”

  Will laughed. “They’re never hypothetical.”

  Trent furrowed his brow but couldn’t contain his grin. “Hypothetical question.”

  Will leaned back in the chair, folding his hands over his stomach. “All right. Lay it on me.”

  “Assuming you were single…if a woman offered you a night with her, would you take her up on it?” Truth was, he wasn’t really a one-night-stand kind of guy. Down deep he was a home and family man. He craved a connection, not merely a warm body in bed beside him.

  But with the divorce and the war still fresh in his mind, it was all he had to give. He had no desire to put his heart through the ringer again. Nor did he think he was capable of something more than fleeting right now. He could handle short term as long as it was on his terms.

  Despite the nature of the question, Will didn’t so much as flinch. “Do it.”

  Trent laughed, all sense of pretense gone, and looked over at Will. “You don’t even know who she is.”

  Will shrugged, half-hearted and dismissive, and glanced over at him, his gaze somber. “Doesn’t matter. You need it, bro. Mom and Mandy are right. You’re isolating too much. It’s not healthy. If she’s caught your attention enough that you’re even pondering taking her up on her offer, then follow wherever it leads.”

  Trent turned back to Lauren’s form in the crowd. “Even if you considered her a friend?”

  “Especially if she’s a friend. It means she won’t use you.” Will pushed to his feet and settled a hand on his shoulder, his voice lowering. “She won’t, you know.”

  Will’s blatant statement told him in no uncertain terms he really wasn’t hiding his attraction to Lauren well. Not that he should be surprised. He and Will never could keep anything from each other.

  Except Will’s acute observation had the confusion swirling in his head again. His overwhelming desire for Lauren warred with the need to hold on to her friendship whatever the cost.

  “But I’d be using her.” The knowledge settled in his chest like so much guilt, heavy and oppressive, reinforcing how wrong it was to take Lauren up on her offer. “I can’t do that to her. I can’t give her more than that, and I won’t give her less. I’ve lost too many friends already. I don’t want to risk losing her, too. She’s a bright spot in the darkness.”

  “I know, but you can’t stop living. At some point you have to get back up. For what it’s worth, I think she’s the perfect person to find your feet with. And if she made you that offer, then she knows what she’s in for. Talk to her.” Will gave his shoulder a supportive squeeze, then glanced at him. “You made any plans for the bachelor party yet?”

  He sighed. When his brother had asked him to be his best man, Trent had been honored. Will was his when he married Wendy. Now, though, he didn’t know if it was a job he was cut out for. His head wasn’t in the game. “Not yet. I’ve been researching possibilities, but you haven’t told me your preferences yet.”

  “Sorry. Work’s been crazy. We’re launching a new ad campaign, trying to get revenue up. Sky and I barely see each other these days, let alone have time to plan a wedding. She and I were talking a bit ago, though. We were thinking of a joint bachelor, bachelorette party type thing and forgoing the usual strippers and alcoholfest. This is her second marriage, and neither one of us is up for the custom unrestricted night out.”

  Trent could help but laugh. “Somehow I had a feeling you’d say that. I’m glad. We did that when I married Wendy and look how that turned out. I’ve been pondering things that didn’t involve strippers. A tour of local breweries, maybe.”

  “Sky and I were thinking something like this would be great.” Will nodded, indicating the crowd out in front of them. “Just a big pre-wedding bash with friends and family.”

  Trent nodded. “I’ll set it up. Maybe I can set something up with a local brewery, have them bring in a beer sampler or something.”

  “Sounds good.” Will studied the crowd out in front of him for a moment before drawing a breath. “Means a lot to me you accepted, you know. I know things have been hell since you got home, but I plan to get married only once, and letting someone else be the best man didn’t feel right. It’s been you and me from the beginning.”

  Trent leaned sideways, bumping Will’s shoulder again. “From the womb, man.”

  Will nodded at the crowd again. “Heads up. Lauren’s on her way out of the room, and she has a follower.”

  So he wasn’t the only one who’d noticed Lauren’s overeager new “friend.”

  Trent followed his brother’s gaze in time to see Lauren round the corner out into the hallway beyond the room. Two steps behind her was the guy she’d been dancing with. The same one who’d been feeding her drinks all night.

  Trent was on his feet and moving around the table before he could draw his next breath. “I got her.”

  Halfway to the ballroom entrance, Mandy moved into step beside him. “So you noticed him, too.”

  Trent grunted in response, sights set where he’d last seen Lauren. “Who the hell invited that guy? Do you know him?”

  “I don’t know. He must’ve come as someone’s friend. I’ve asked him to back off more than once, but every time I turn around he’s back, shoving more drinks into her hand. I told her she should let loose a little tonight, allow herself to enjoy the party, but that isn’t what I meant.”

  “No worries. I’ll make sure he gets a very clear picture.” The thought had irritation prickling along his nerve endings and his hands fisting as his sides. He darted a glance at Mandy as they rounded the corner into the hallway. “But you should start winding this party down.”

  “Agreed.”

  As it turned out, they didn’t have to go far. Lauren and her new “friend” stood outside the women’s restroom, some twenty feet or so down the hall. She leaned against the wall, eyes full of fatigue. The guy had his hand braced beside her head. Even though she kept looking anywhere but at him and shaking her head, the asshole kept leaning in to her. Every time she pushed his hand away, it returned, grazing somewhere else he clearly wa
sn’t invited to touch.

  Trent ground his teeth and moved toward them. She’d hate him for following her, but the guy clearly wasn’t taking no for an answer. He’d made it only halfway to her when Lauren braced her hands against the guy’s chest and shoved with enough force he stumbled back two steps.

  “I said no!” Her voice rang down the hallway, echoing off the walls.

  Trent halted, unable to hide what was surely a smug smile. Even tipsy, Lauren wasn’t helpless. Good for her.

  “Atta girl,” Mandy murmured beside him.

  “You get her. I’ve got the jackass.” Having seen enough, he resumed his trek in their direction.

  Beating a hasty retreat, the asshole pivoted. As his gaze landed on Trent, he halted in his tracks.

  Trent crossed the space between them, stepping close enough the guy wouldn’t mistake his meaning. “You go back into that party, and I’m going break off both your arms and shove ’em up your ass.”

  The guy glared at him, but turned nonetheless and stalked toward the elevators.

  Trent crossed to where Mandy now stood with Lauren and tucked his hands in his pockets. “You all right?”

  “For the last time, you guys, I’m fine. I came out for some air and to pee, and he followed me.” She shot a sideways glance between him and Mandy, eyes narrowed in irritation. “I appreciate the help, but I didn’t need it. I can take care myself. I’ve taken self-defense classes.”

  His heart sank into his boots. Damn. He’d hoped she’d cooled off, that their chat earlier had somehow gotten to her, but clearly she was still upset with him. He ached to take her in his arms and cradle her against his chest. Or kiss her soft mouth. If only to make her stop looking at him like that.

  None of which he could do, especially with Mandy standing right there. He still needed to clear the air with Lauren, though. He was going to fix his screw up or die trying.

  He stuffed his hands in his pockets and looked over at Mandy. “Mind if I have a moment with her?”

  When Mandy frowned, looking between him and Lauren in confusion, his gut knotted. Way to go. Might as well just tell her you have the hots for her best friend.

  Scrambling to come up with a better reason, he quickly added, “I have a present for her, and I’d like to talk to her about a good time to bring it by.”

  Then he held his breath and waited. No doubt she’d see right through his lousy excuse.

  To his complete surprise, though, Mandy nodded, then turned to touch Lauren’s arm. “I’ll be inside if you need me.”

  He waited, watching until Mandy disappeared into the ballroom again, before leaning against the wall beside Lauren. “I hate when you’re mad at me.”

  Lauren didn’t say anything, and tension mounted in the air between them. Just when he was sure she’d taken to giving him the silent treatment, her shoulders drooped.

  “I’m not mad. I feel like a fool, truth be told.” She pulled her lower lip into her mouth, gnashing at one corner, darted a glance at him, then blew out a heavy breath. “I should never have made you that offer.”

  “That takes courage, you know. To ask for what you want.”

  She let out a harsh laugh. “It’s only courageous when the guy kisses you back. When he doesn’t, it’s just pathetic.”

  He had kissed her back. Had wanted to do a hell out of a lot more, too. Like slip his hands beneath her T-shirt for the need to feel her breasts. To hear her moan and sigh and shiver.

  Not that he could tell her that, either.

  Lauren dropped her gaze to her feet, wrapped her arms around herself, and shook her head. “That jackass you chased off didn’t help any. It took me a couple of drinks to realize the iced tea he’d been getting me wasn’t tea at all.”

  “Ah. Long Island Iced Tea. Wicked stuff.” All alcohol, with a little cola for color and taste. When made the right way, the drink tasted exactly like tea and packed a hell of a punch because it went down like Kool-Aid. The asshole had fed her something he’d known damn well would knock a lightweight on her ass. Trent clenched his jaw. He should have decked the jerk while he had the chance.

  “Exactly. When he followed me out here, I realized I was in over my head tonight. I wanted to have to fun, to let loose a little, and I have, but that jerk made me wonder what the hell I was doing. I’m not this person. I don’t drink this much. I don’t wear heels or dresses, let alone ones like this.” She waved a hand over herself, indicating her outfit, then rolled her eyes. “And I can’t flirt to save my life.”

  He wanted to tell her how wrong she was. Lauren didn’t need to flirt. She had a warmth and realness about her that drew people, him included. When she laughed, it was honest and open, and any fool within miles turned to smile with her. “You seemed to be doing fine to me.”

  “Because I let Mandy and Steph fill me with false bravado. Alcohol helps.” She let out a harsh laugh full of bitter self-reproach. “It’s ironic, really. I decided two weeks ago I wanted to finally lose my virginity. That I’d step outside my comfort zone and live in the moment. That jackass would have gladly taken it, too, right there in the bathroom. I guess it just proves that at least some men are willing to sleep with me. Even if they are the wrong ones.”

  He jerked his gaze to hers, unable to hide the irritation sizzling along his nerve endings. “Did he tell you that? That he’d take you in the bathroom?”

  “No. He invited me to his place, but he was so pushy I have no doubt had I invited him to do it in the bathroom, he’d have taken me up on it. Which isn’t how I’d always envisioned my first time.” She leaned her head back against the wall and closed her eyes, looking tired and defeated. “All I want now is to go home, but I hate the thought of disappointing Mandy and Steph. They went through a lot of trouble for me.”

  “Mandy’s not upset. I think she’s just worried about you. I can take you home if you want.” He nudged her playfully with an elbow. “We can sneak down to the elevator before anybody realizes you’re gone.”

  Lauren opened her eyes, her gaze soft but full of something he couldn’t quite reach. She shook her head and shifted her gaze to something beyond him. “I can’t ask you to do that.”

  He straightened off the wall and turned to her. “You didn’t. I offered. And I don’t mind. Think you can manage to stay on the bike?”

  She let out a quiet laugh and reached up to rub her temples. “I seriously doubt it. The damn floor has slanted on me.”

  “I’ll go get the keys to Will’s Beamer. I’ll just tell Mandy and Steph you’re sick and want to go home.” He touched her shoulder, then moved around her, heading back into the party.

  Chapter Five

  Lauren watched until Trent disappeared into the party room, then collapsed against the wall. She closed her eyes, fighting tears that wouldn’t stop filling her eyes. Tonight had started out well and had gone straight to hell. The loneliness had settled deep inside the minute that handsy jackass finally walked away. Sadly, she couldn’t even remember his name. Not that it mattered. Once again, she’d failed to find a nice, respectful guy. To top it off, it was her birthday, but she was still going home alone. The knowledge was eating a hole in her chest.

  With a heavy sigh, she opened her eyes, willing away the self-pity, and straightened off the wall. She pushed into the bathroom. Never in her life had she drank this much. After Mary’s death, she’d made a firm rule—she’d allow herself the luxury of a drink. After all, she was a normal, healthy adult. But her limit was one.

  Tonight, though, she’d intended to get drunk. And she’d succeeded, which was why she’d switched to “iced tea” when that jerk had asked her what she wanted to drink. She’d just wanted to enjoy her birthday and not worry for once. Now she remembered why she’d made that one-drink rule in the first place. Too much alcohol clearly made her out of control, not to mention sick to her stomach.

  Well, that was one item she could officially cross off her “things she’d never done” list.

  After relieving
herself and washing her hands, she exited the restroom. Trent leaned against the wall outside the door. He had one hand tucked in the left pocket of his jacket, her coat dangling over his forearm. The sight of him there tugged at all those lonely places. The scared little girl inside the supposedly independent woman, who’d kill to have someone to wrap around her at the end of the night.

  And now the man taking her home thought of her as little more than another sister.

  Before she could gather her wits, Trent straightened off the wall and held her coat open for her. “All set. I managed to convince Mandy and Steph you were sick and wanted to go home. Mandy was fit to be tied when I wouldn’t let her come see you. I have strict orders to tell you that you’re to call them both first thing tomorrow morning.”

  They walked in silence through the lobby, to where Will’s car was parked in the center of the hotel’s parking lot. Neither said anything during the twenty-minute ride across town to her place, either. She couldn’t muster the energy to make chitchat, and he didn’t push her. Trent seemed to retreat into his head, and for once, she was grateful.

  After pulling up to the curb in front of her house and turning off the engine, he pulled out the keys and exited the car. He jogged around to her side, opened her door, and held out his palm before she’d even mustered the energy to sit upright.

  He kept hold of her hand as he walked her to the door. He waited silently behind her while she dug in her purse for her keys, too, and after unlocking the door, of course he insisted on seeing her inside.

  Standing in the foyer, she turned to him, but words wouldn’t come. She had no idea what to say to him. His chivalry was doing her head in. He was the kind of man she’d envisioned when she’d signed up with Military Match in the first place. He was the complete opposite of that jerk he’d chased off earlier.

  Trent reached out, thumbing her chin. “Will you be okay?”