A Wolf to Set Him Free

by A J Jarrett

  “I guess I deserve that.” Ethan rammed his hands into his pockets to keep from reaching out for Holden. Something told him the man wouldn’t be very accepting of his touch at the moment and he couldn’t blame him either.

  “You do deserve that and so much more.” Holden pushed off the wall and pointed a finger in Ethan’s face. “Do you have any idea what kind of pain you’ve put me through these past few days?” Ethan shook his head. “I’ll tell you. Absolute agony. It was like having my fucking arm ripped off. I was alone with no one to talk to because, hell, how would I explain this to anyone? My mate is afraid of what might happen one day.” Holden started to laugh. It was a crazed sound coming from his soft and gentle mouth. “I worry, too, ya know. What if you get hurt? What if one day you just up and leave me, because you’ve proven you can do that quite easily. I’m just as scared as you but the only difference is that I’ll stay and fight for you.”

  “Holden—” Ethan had so many things to say but Holden didn’t give him the chance.

  “No, you need to listen to me for a change.” Holden took a deep breath. “You’re so eager to run off and bury your head in the sand than to stay and fight for what you want.” Holden barked out a laugh. “I gotta say it makes a man feel pretty shitty when the man he loves is so quick to run out on him when things get a little tough. It’s called life, Ethan. Not everything is supposed to be so cut and dry or picture perfect. We are real people with real issues. Life isn’t like a movie where nothing bad ever happens. If you keep looking forward to the bad stuff you’ll miss all the good. And let me tell you the good far outweigh the bad.”

  Ethan stood there, nodding his head. It was all he could get his body to do. His mouth had gone as dry as the desert and his arms and legs felt numb, as if all the blood flowing to them had ceased movement. If Holden punched him right now he’d accept it without fighting back because Holden was right. Ethan did dwell on the what-ifs too much. So much so that he’d ran from this loving and caring man not once, not twice, but three fucking times. Holden should just tell him to get lost and never come near him again. He’d probably be better off.

  “You’re right,” Ethan whispered. “I am a person with a lot of fucked-up problems.”

  “I’m not disagreeing with you there.”

  “You have every right to just tell me to go away but…” Ethan did his best to swallow around the lump in his throat. He hated feeling so much. All these emotions were draining the very life from him but for Holden he’d trudge through the feelings of sadness, heartache, and despair. Holden was worth it and so much more.

  “But what?” Holden asked, his eyes wide, as if asking the questions with them.

  “But you’d miss me just as much as I’ve been missing you these past few days but only more.” Ethan reached out his hand and gripped Holden by the elbow. “I’m a selfish asshole. I want things my way so that my life is easier. I never took in account your feelings in all this.”

  “No, you didn’t.” Holden didn’t pull his arm away when he spoke. Ethan took that as a good sign.

  “I love you so fucking much it hurts.” Ethan cupped his hands over Holden’s cheeks and kissed his lips softly, doing his best to take in the warm flesh beneath his and the fresh scent of Holden’s body just in case this was the last time he ever got to kiss this man. “And I was wrong to have left you like that.” He rested his forehead against Holden’s and Holden brought his hands up to wrap around Ethan’s forearms. “I’m a scared and weak asshole who doesn’t deserve you.”

  “Keep going.” Ethan could feel Holden smiling against his lips.

  “I want another chance.” He brushed his lips over Holden’s. “I’ll even move here to be with you and support your career choice, no matter how much it terrifies me.” Ethan had no clue where that came from. They had never discussed where they would live, but he knew being in Nehalem was the right choice. Carson was here and all of Holden’s friends and family were here. Ethan would miss seeing his parents every day, but it was time he moved on with his life and with him being a writer, he could live anywhere he wanted, and he wanted to be wherever Holden was.

  “So just like that, huh?” Holden wound his arms around Ethan’s waist, pulling him close.

  “Just like that.” Ethan buried his face in Holden’s neck and breathed in the soap and aftershave Holden wore. It eased his nerves and he relaxed into Holden’s embrace. He’d finally found a home and his bruised and battered heart let out a sigh of relief.

  Chapter Thirteen

  “You have way too much shit, Eth.” Holden hauled another box into his house and set it in the living room. “We are going to have to add on to the house to make room for all this.”

  “It’s a good thing we’re friends with the owners of a construction company, isn’t it?” Ethan leaned over and kissed Holden on the cheek.

  It had been three weeks since Ethan had shown up to Holden’s work and apologized. It felt like a lifetime ago. Everything had moved so fast after that. Holden took two weeks off of work to drive across the country to Ethan’s parents’ house in San Francisco. They stayed and visited with Ethan’s parents, who Holden had grown to adore. They loved their son so much and were so happy for him. They treated Holden as if he had been a part of the family for years. Ethan’s mother gave hugs freely and wanted to feed Holden until he passed out. She was saddened to hear about Holden’s parents passing. He left out the part about his father being a sadistic madman. Even Ethan’s father was affectionate and eager to help out with anything he could.

  After they got all of Ethan’s affairs in order, they loaded all his belongings into a moving truck and began the trek back to Nehalem.

  “Yeah you’re lucky, mister.” Holden balled his fist in the front of Ethan’s T-shirt, the soft cotton bunching in his grip. Once he stood chest to chest with Ethan, he captured his lips in a kiss that curled his own toes.

  Holden licked across the seam of Ethan’s mouth until his lover opened wide for him to enter. Holden managed to kick the door shut and pulled Ethan into the living room. He pushed Ethan down onto the couch and he straddled his mate’s lap. Ethan yanked Holden’s shirt up and over his head and threw it to the ground. Holden didn’t even bother, he just grabbed the collar of Ethan’s shirt and ripped it apart.

  “God that’s so fucking hot.” Ethan gasped, his chest rising and falling rapidly. “I love how strong you are.”

  “Yeah.” Holden nipped at Ethan’s swollen lips. He ground his ass down on the stiff rod in Ethan’s shorts. The thin-knit gym shorts did nothing to contain Ethan’s boner. It jabbed at Holden’s ass as Ethan thrust his hips up harder.

  “Yeah.” Ethan shoved his hands down the back of Holden’s shorts and grabbed his firm, round globes and massaged his cheeks apart until he could slip a hand between them and ran his fingernails down Holden’s crack. “You’ve got me so turned on.” Ethan jerked his hips up pulling a low moan from Holden. “I’m going to fuck you so hard until you come all over my chest. And then I’m going to come right here.” Ethan tapped a finger over Holden’s tiny opening.

  “Oh god yes.” Holden shimmied out of his pants and let his nails lengthen into claws and sliced down the side of Ethan’s shorts, freeing his mate’s cock.

  “Hey, now, babe.” Ethan curled his fingers around Holden’s dick, slowing pulling on his length. “Watch those nails.”

  “I’d never hurt you.” Holden’s words were muffled by his teeth. His wolf was wanting to come out and play but Holden closed his eyes and tried to calm his racing pulse.

  “I know that.” Ethan caressed his hand down the side of Holden’s face. “Look at me.”

  Holden slowly opened his eyes, knowing he must look frightening with his eyes glowing and his teeth extended with his claws out. He could feel his fur tingling right under the surface. “Maybe we should stop until I calm down. I don’t want to scare you.” Holden tried to pull away.

  “Holden, stop it.” Ethan curled his fingers into the sides o
f Holden’s hips. “I love you. I love your wolf. There is nothing about you that scares me.” He laughed. “If anything, this turns me on more, knowing I’ve got you so revved up you’re losing control. Proves just how much you want me.”

  “Fuck yeah I want you.” Holden trailed his sharp nails up Ethan’s neck to settle into his thick black hair, then leaned down to kiss Ethan.

  The kiss turned urgent and Holden couldn’t touch Ethan enough. Than he reached down between their bodies and wrapped his large hand around both their cocks and jacked them together. Sparks jumped over Holden’s skin and he needed more. Pre-cum oozed from both their tips, lubricating the sensitive skin.

  “I need you inside me.” Holden threw his head back and groaned as his balls drew up close to his body. He was so close to falling over the edge but he wanted Ethan inside him first. “Please, Ethan, make love to me.”

  Ethan gripped the base of his cock and angled it upward and Holden slowly descended down the thick length. He gasped at the initial stretch and the slight burn quickly morphed into pleasure as Ethan’s shaft gently spread his inner channel apart. God, how he loved the feeling of Ethan filling him so completely. Almost to the point of bursting.

  “I love the way you feel around my cock.” Ethan grunted as he retreated then thrust upward hard into Holden. “So hot and tight.”

  Holden wrapped his arms around Ethan’s neck and held on. His mate lost control and became more animal than human when they fucked. For a human Holden found that quite impressive. He had the ability to push Ethan to the edge of his sanity. He loved when Ethan lost control and pounded his ass.

  “Oh fuck, Eth, harder,” Holden shouted as the flared crown of Ethan’s dick brushed over his prostate. Fireworks exploded behind his eyelids and he began to tremble.

  Ethan let out a loud growl and grabbed Holden’s ass and picked him up until he had Holden on his back and Ethan was drilling his hole hard and fast. Their bodies slapped together as Ethan rode him. Holden’s back arched as his cock shot out the first spurt of cum. Drool filled Holden’s mouth and he sat up and sunk his teeth into Ethan’s shoulder as three more ropes of his seed squeezed between them.

  “Oh god!” Ethan panted as his orgasm filled Holden’s twitching hole.

  Ethan fell forward, collapsing on top of Holden. Holden wrapped his arms around Holden and held him close. Ethan was getting better every day and Holden knew everything from here on out would fine, no, better than fine. Great.

  * * * *

  Ethan had been in Nehalem for two months now. It was June and the sun shone bright every day, it seemed. Ethan loved it here and even more so he loved being with Holden.

  Holden’s job still caused Ethan to worry, but he was getting better. Holden would text him at least once an hour while he was at work and if they had to go out to a call he’d phone Ethan right afterward. Sure it freaked Ethan out, but the alternative of not being with Holden outweighed the fear of Holden getting hurt on the job.

  Since school was out, Carson spent a lot of time at their house. Most nights his dads let him stay the night when Holden was working. They knew it helped keep Ethan’s mind off of Holden and it gave Carson something to do.

  Ethan grew more impressed with the little guy every day he spent with him. Carson had taken up writing comic strips. They were very entertaining. The current comic he was working on was about a young boy who was a werewolf and had super powers. The young character protected the world with his two dads as his sidekicks. When Ethan told Noah and Skyler about it, they were beyond flattered and Skyler even began to cry.

  Their house was also currently under construction. Like Holden had thought, they did have to add on to their house. Since they had talked about maybe having kids one day, they were extending onto the back of the house to add in two more bedrooms and another hall bathroom, with a bathroom also connecting the rooms. The spare bedroom already in the house had become Ethan’s office. He had just turned in the finished manuscript to his agent who had made the comment that it had been Ethan’s best work yet. Ethan had to thank being happy and in love for feeding his imagination.

  Ethan was sitting at his desk and Carson was at the small desk he had put together for his nephew. They would work for hours on end writing, then he’d sit and listen to Carson go over his current comic. Ethan could see that Carson had real talent and he encouraged the young man at every opportunity.

  “They sure are loud today,” Ethan said as he turned his chair around.

  “Tell me about it.” Carson rubbed his hands over his eyes. “I think we should go take their hammers away.” His eyes lit up. “What do you say, Uncle Eth?”

  “As much fun as that sounds, my young man, we need them to finish the addition before fall comes and it starts to get cold.”

  Carson winced then dropped his head forward to thump on the desk. “Then I need a break. All that banging is driving me insane.” Carson sat up, his eyes wide. “No offense, Uncle Ethan.”

  “None taken, little man.” Ethan stood up and stretched. Carson was always very cautious with the terms crazy, insane, or looney. He didn’t want to hurt Ethan’s feelings since he knew that there had been a time that Ethan hadn’t been completely together in the head. His depression had caused him to do terrible things, but he was better now and getting better every day. “Let’s go see what they’re doing, then let’s say we head into Silver Creek and go for a smoothie at the Early Bean.”

  “Sounds good to me.” Carson stood up and followed Ethan out of their office.

  Ethan walked through the kitchen then out the back door. Holden was on his four-day break from work and had been helping Victor, Cole, and Joseph with the construction. The walls were up and the electrician had come out to install all the wiring. It was coming along really great.

  “Hey, babe.” Holden wiped the back of his hand over his forehead. He was shirtless and sweat dripped down his chest. The sun had begun to turn his skin an even darker shade of brown.

  Ethan’s eyes roamed over the sweat-slicked body and he wanted to throw Holden to the ground and have his wicked way with him.

  “Do you mind?” Victor moved to stand next to Holden. “We are trying to work and we don’t need you out here making googly eyes at Holden.”

  “He said googly eyes,” Carson repeated as he broke out in a fit of giggles.

  “Well I just came to let you know Carson and I are heading into town.” Ethan waved his hand toward the tools they were using. “There’s just too much noise for us to getting any work done.”

  “I’m sorry, babe.” Holden walked over to Ethan and gave him a quick peck on the lips. “We’re going to work for a few more hours then call it a day.” Holden leaned closer until he could whisper into Ethan’s ear. “Then maybe you and I can have a little alone time together.” Holden took a step back. “How’s that sound?”

  Ethan’s eyes were closed and he could feel his cock stirring in his shorts. He took a couple deep breaths and tried to think of something unappealing so his dick would deflate. “That was mean.” Ethan pointed a finger at him.

  “Who, me?” Holden curled both his hands inward toward his chest.

  “Yes you.” Ethan shot a grin at Holden, then turned and led the way to his car. “Come on, Carson, let’s get out of here.”

  “Hey, Carson,” Viktor shouted and Ethan and Carson both turned back around. “I want to read the comic when you’re done. The last one was awesome but I think you need a super hero friend.” Viktor shrugged. “You could name him Vik or Big V.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind.” Carson laughed.

  Ethan popped the key pod to his Lexus and got behind the wheel. Carson got into the back since he was still a little on the thin side to ride in the front. Ethan found the station Carson liked to listen to and they sang along to the music.

  When they got to the coffee shop, Ethan parked his car and they went inside. Shane and Dominic were working today. The remodel on the café had been completed and they gained quit
e the crowd. A lot of college students. With school being out for summer, there were still quite a bit of students in the summer session. Young men and women lounged around in the plush chairs and couches with their laptops pulled out.

  “Look who came to visit me.” Shane held his hand up for Carson to give him a high five. “The usual, master Carson?”

  “You know it.” Carson hopped up on the high barstool.

  “Regular for you, too, Ethan?” Shane asked as he started on Carson’s strawberry pineapple smoothie.

  “You know what? I think I’ll have what Carson is having.” He smiled down at his nephew.

  “All righty. Coming right up.”

  Once Shane was done with their drinks he handed them over along with a plate of cookies. Carson immediately dug in while Ethan paced himself. If he wasn’t careful, he’d gain twenty pounds from eating Shane’s baked goods.

  “Carson!” Kamden shouted as he barreled into the café. “I thought that was you. Come on.” Kamden waved his hand for Carson to follow him. “Let’s play catch at the park. Ryan said you could use his glove.”

  “Really?” Carson’s eyes lit up.

  “Yeah.” Kamden tossed the spare glove to Carson. “Come on. Let’s go.”

  Carson looked up at Ethan. “Can I, Eth?”

  Ethan leaned to the side to look out the front window. He could see Seth sitting on a bench in the shade. He had a binder in his hands. To Ethan, it looked like he was working on edits for his children’s book. Knowing that Seth was there, he was comfortable letting Carson go play at the playground.

  “Sure, I’ll be over in a minute, okay?”

  “Thanks, Eth.” Carson ran out of the café, following Kamden.

  “You know if I didn’t know any better, I’d say our young Carson has a crush on Ryan.” Shane rested his elbows on the glass-top counter and stared out the window.