Hopelessly Imperfect (Imperfect #1)

by Gabriela Cabezut

  “Wow,” was all that came out of my mouth as I stared at the garden. A large oak tree sat in the right corner, and a wooden swing rocked slightly beneath it. A barbecue grill stood on the right in front of a picnic table. Small patches of colorful flowers were planted all around the garden. “This is nice,” I commented as Farah sat on the grass.

  She shrugged. “Dad loves to barbecue.”

  My right hand started to play with the grass as we sat in comfortable silence. Farah was a true friend. Confidence washed over me before I started to tell her about Mom. I told her about her cancer and how I didn’t know how to deal with it. How I pulled away from Anne and started to hang out with Marissa. How I closed myself off from people, building a wall to protect myself. I explained why Marissa hated me now and that I knew where she was coming from. Farah nodded once or twice as she listened.

  We both stayed silent for a moment before I worried my lip and sighed. I still hadn’t mentioned what I tried to do or how Dad was dating Marie. “I didn’t spend the summer with my aunt as I told you before.” Embarrassment and shame filled me as I struggled to tell her what I’d done. “I was in a psychiatric institution because I did this.” Hesitantly, I pulled up my sweater sleeves and showed her my scars.

  Her eyes widened, and she gasped in fright. Tears pooled in them as she gazed at me for a moment before leaning closer and wrapping her arms around my shoulders. My heart clenched as I hugged her back. My eyes were teary as well.

  “I’m sorry,” she mumbled as her hold tightened.

  “I know,” I murmured before adding, “I suck.”

  She pulled away and kept quiet for a moment as she looked at me. Her eyes were soft as she said, “You’re not a bad person, Cassie.” I looked to the side and stared at a small pot filled with white daisies. “You’re not,” she stressed, making me turn back to her. “And I’m your friend. I’m here for you.”

  Swallowing hard, I shook my head. “I know. You’re stubborn as hell.” She chuckled as I shyly murmured, “Thank you.”

  A mischievous glint flashed through her eyes. “I even went and had the talk with Nathan.” She raised an eyebrow. “And he’s scary. So that tells you how much I actually care about you.”

  “Why would you talk to him?” I frowned, bewildered.

  She rolled her eyes and pushed her glasses up her nose. “He clearly likes you.” She omitted the duh at the end of her sentence, but only because she was clearly trying to be nice.

  I scoffed and shook my head. “He doesn’t.” She rolled her eyes again. “And I tried to talk to Chris too.” A small smile formed on my lips as I remembered it.

  “What?” Farah’s blue eyes widened, and she leaned closer to me. “What did you tell him?”

  I plucked some grass. “Only that you are head over heels for him.” I shrugged nonchalantly as a smile tugged up my lips.

  “Oh my God!” She stood up in one jump. “You didn’t!” Her tone was accusing as she glared at me. Full-on smiling now, I shrugged, clearly teasing her. Farah rolled her eyes again. “Come on, Cass, you can’t do this to me!” she whined like a little girl.

  Shaking my head, I stood up as well. “Why would you worry, Farah? He’s been pretty clear about liking you.”

  She scrunched her nose. “Yeah, but still.”

  This time I rolled my eyes at her. “Come on, we have some brownies to bake.” She beamed at me, and I stopped her before she opened the back door. “And thank you…” I murmured shyly again.

  Her gaze softened. She squeezed my shoulder in reassurance as she shook her head. “I told you I was going to be your friend, Cass.”

  Warmth washed over me as I nodded. “I’ll be a better friend from now on.”

  She pulled open the glass door. “You better,” she quipped as I rolled my eyes playfully. We stepped inside the kitchen once again and started to lay out everything to make the brownies.

  Farah hadn’t been kidding when she said she couldn’t cook. I practically made the brownies myself after she confused oil with vinegar. Luckily for her, we noticed immediately and discarded the cup of vinegar just in time, since she hadn’t mixed it in yet. That’s when she settled on just following my directions. As we placed the pan in the oven, the doorbell rang. Beaming at me and completely flushed, Farah went to answer it.

  Smirking, I trotted right behind her. “Hi,” she shyly greeted the boys and gestured them to come inside. She looked so cute that I couldn’t help but smile. It faded when I saw Nate walking in after Jay. Butterflies fluttered in my stomach at the sight of him. Especially since Farah had said she’d talked to him. How embarrassing was that?

  Jay beamed at me as he held the large pizza box. “Hi, Cassie!”

  “Hi.” I waved at him. “Do you want to put that in the kitchen?”

  “Yeah, thanks!” He nodded excitedly and followed me as I led the way. I wasn’t trying to ignore Nathan or anything. I just didn’t know how to act around him.

  Jay looked around the room, and his gaze landed on the oven. He rubbed his hands in anticipation as he peered at me. “Did you guys make something?”

  Nodding, I picked up the now-empty box from the counter. His eyes lit up, and his smile was so bright it was a bit contagious. “I’m hungry already,” he said, sounding somewhat embarrassed as I chuckled.

  Turning around to walk out of the kitchen, I almost bumped into Nathan, who was leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed and a smirk on his face.

  “I didn’t see you there,” I murmured as I stepped back, looking everywhere but at him.

  “I noticed.”

  Jay passed by me, rolling his eyes at Nathan, and punching him on the shoulder on his way out. Nathan blocked the door after he left.

  “Do you mind?” I gestured with my hand for him to move. He didn’t. “Nathan?” I looked at him.

  “Why weren’t you looking at me?” He tilted his head, frowning.

  Gosh. Why did you have to talk to him, Farah?

  He probably thinks I like him or something. Which I clearly don’t.

  “I am looking at you.” I widened my eyes, making my point. His intense eyes were piercing through me as always, and my lips parted as my heart skipped a beat. After a long moment, his lips tugged up in a beautiful smile, and my mouth went dry. He moved out of the way, and I breathed out in relief as I passed him.

  Completely flustered, I walked to the TV room, where Jay was playing with the remote as he chose a movie. The room was spacious. There were two large brown sofas in front of the huge flat-screen TV. Farah and Chris were cuddling on one. Chris smiled and waved at me, and I did the same as I sat on the next sofa. In the middle of the room was a small glass table with two large bowls of chips and pretzels. Farah and I hadn’t really walked around the house, so I figured her mom had left the bowls there. Even though I hadn’t met her, I could tell she was as nice as her daughter.

  My eyes traveled all around the room as I did my best to ignore the gray-eyed boy who had chosen to take a seat next to me.

  It was a really cozy home. There were pictures of the whole family on the walls, and I grinned at how happy they seemed. Farah resembled her mom, and her identical twin sisters looked like her dad.

  “How do you tell your sisters apart?” I asked, looking at Farah.

  “I don’t. I mess up their names all the time.” She smiled mischievously. “They absolutely hate it.” Jay cracked up at that. Chris flicked her nose, and she beamed at him. Then he grabbed her by the waist and kissed her. Blushing, I turned away from them as Jay started to complain while Nathan threw a pillow at them, snickering.

  Chris threw the pillow back at Nathan just as he was asking, “So, what movie are we going to see?”

  “Not a chick flick!” Jay stared pointedly at me.

  I looked at the screen behind him. He’d been scrolling through Netflix in the action section. Shrugging, I murmured, “Whatever you want to see is fine.”

  He grinned. “I like the sound of that!” />
  I chuckled at that.

  “I want to see I am Number Four,” Farah exclaimed excitedly, and all three guys grunted.

  “That is a chick flick.” Jay raised an eyebrow.

  “It’s not!” Farah’s blue eyes widened. “There are explosions and stuff like that!” She moved her hands explaining, “And there’s a really hot girl!”

  “But not Meghan Fox,” Chris said from beside her, and she rolled her eyes.

  “Let’s vote,” Nathan’s rough voice said next to me.

  “We’re clearly outnumbered,” I said flatly, glaring at him as he smirked at me.

  “Tsk, tsk.” He shook his head, feigning innocence.

  “Transformers it is!” Jay announced proudly as he found the title on the screen. Farah grunted, but I couldn’t help but smile at him. He seem excited like a little boy.

  We watched the movie while we ate the pepperoni pizza they brought. Right at the middle of the movie, Farah and I got up to get the brownies from the oven, and the guys literally fought over them. To be honest, they weren’t that good, but the gesture was nice.

  All in all, it was fun. Jay and Nathan kept making jokes and teasing Chris and Farah while I laughed at them.

  By the time the movie ended, it was late, and after Farah’s parents called to ask her if she needed more food since they were on their way back, we decided to call it a night. We had school the next morning, anyway.

  We all helped clean up before saying good-bye to each other. Apparently, Jay lived right on the next block over. He thanked Farah, waved good-bye, and trotted away. Chris’s house was across the street, so that left Nathan to take me home. I was planning to text Dad to get me, but Nathan insisted it wasn’t a problem. Farah wriggled her eyebrows at me as he said that, making me blush.

  Feeling awkward again, I stepped toward his truck. Nathan opened the door for me with a smirk. Trying to ignore him, I gazed behind me at my best friend and her boyfriend. They were laughing at each other, and a small smile spread across my face. Farah was amazing. I was so thankful she was my friend.

  I could feel Nathan’s eyes on me as I shifted in the car seat. He was still holding the door for me as I looked up. “Penny for your thoughts?” he asked, tilting his head.

  “I had fun tonight.” A small grin played on my lips. It was true. This had been the best night in a long time.

  Nathan trotted around his car. The door on his side slammed after he took a seat in front of the steering wheel. “I’m glad you had fun.” He shook his head, a small smile playing on his face. “I did too.” His tone was playful as he turned the key and the engine roared to life. “Why did you cry today, Cass?” he asked, his voice softer now.

  Completely surprised, I cut my eyes to him. “How did you know?”

  “Your eyes,” he murmured, not looking at me but at the road ahead.

  My mouth went dry as I gazed at him in silence. My eyes followed the line of his nose to his lips to his Adam’s apple. Then back to his lips again. My heart fluttered. I averted my eyes as I blushed and murmured shyly, “I bumped into one of Mom’s closest friends.”

  He didn’t ask anything else, and I turned my face to the window, not wanting to keep gawking at him. We reached my house, and he turned off the engine but remained silent. I didn’t want to leave his car, either.

  Biting my lip, I stammered before bursting out, “How can you know so much about me when I really don’t know anything about you?” My brows furrowed.

  A small smile tugged on his lips slowly. “Hey, I didn’t know you were that into me.”

  I rolled my eyes and grabbed the door handle as my lips set in a straight line. “Thanks for the lift home, Nathan.”

  He gently placed his hand on my knee, making my heart flutter. “Cassie.” I gazed at him wide-eyed. His hand left my leg. He ran it through his hair. My mouth was dry as my heart raced like crazy. “You can ask me anything you want.”

  My knee tingled from his touch. A little freaked out about it, I kept quiet for a moment as he crossed his arms and watched me intensely with those mesmerizing gray eyes.

  What did I want to ask him? I knew Nathan wasn’t the talkative type, so I had to take advantage of this opportunity. Nonetheless, I couldn’t ask him how he knew so much about me, because he would completely evade the question as he always did. Thinking it through, I tilted my head as I murmured, “Why do you fight?”

  He shifted in his seat uncomfortably, and his eyes glazed before he answered me. “I’m looking for someone.”

  Through fights? Whoever he was looking for, he didn’t want to find them for friendly purposes, that was for sure.

  I raised an eyebrow as he glanced at me. His eyes seemed clouded, but as he blinked, it faded away. “It started that way, but now I like the adrenaline kick before the fight, or the way you have to be ready for anything at all times.” His voice was wary. His eyes were roaming all around my face as he spoke. “That, added to the fact it annoys the hell out of my father,” he drawled, a smirk playing on his lips as his eyes lit up mischievously.

  “Have you found him?”

  His demeanor was tense as he shook his head. “No.” His tone was bitter. “I don’t even know who I’m looking for.” He sounded peeved about it. And hurt.

  Several questions played in my head, but I wasn’t sure if I should actually prod. It was a touchy topic. He probably wouldn’t answer me anyway. Still, I wondered what his reasons for doing that were. Ugh.

  I slumped in my seat as my eyes roamed all over his car. I just wanted to actually know something about him. I mean, the guy probably knew what I was thinking right now, and I had no clue about him.

  “Why haven’t you tried out for the wrestling team or something?” I asked out of nowhere. I really had no clue what to ask now. I just wanted to keep talking to him. That was scary and unsettling.

  Nathan smiled, completely amused. He raised an eyebrow as his smirk widened. “That’s kind of lame. I don’t want to lose my reputation.”

  “As a bad boy?” I shook my head, annoyed.

  “Of course. Being a badass is way cooler than being part of the wrestling team,” he added with a grin.

  I grabbed the door handle again. “Thank you for the ride.”

  “Don’t mention it.” His eyes pierced me as I bobbed my head and hopped out of the car.

  A shy smile played on my lips as I gazed at him. “See you tomorrow, Nate.” His eyes were darker as a breathtaking smile played across his face. My heart skipped a beat, and my lips parted as I closed the door.

  He waited inside the car as I reached my house and opened the front door. Worrying my lip, I turned to wave at him as his engine roared to life and he drove out of sight. I stared after him, even after he was completely gone, pretty much dumbfounded at his breathtaking smile. Like usual.

  Dad was working on his laptop in the kitchen. I presumed he was actually waiting for me, which was kind of cute. I walked to him and kissed him on the cheek. His blue eyes gazed at me softly as he grinned. “Did you have a good day?”

  I nodded. “The best.”

  He closed the computer. “Are you hungry? There’s some chicken salad in the fridge.”

  Shaking my head, I sat on the stool next to him. “I just had pizza and brownies with Farah and the guys.”

  Dad raised an eyebrow. “The guys, huh?” Fighting the urge to roll my eyes at him, I settled on glaring at his laptop. “Does one of them happen to be the guy that stayed with you the other day?” I nodded. “Should I be concerned?”

  “Nate’s just a friend, Dad.”

  “Nate?” he mocked me with an amused smile.

  This time I did roll my eyes. “I’m tired, so I’m going to bed, okay?”

  Dad’s smile transformed into a smug grin. Which was kind of weird. “Next time you meet with Nate, I’d like to meet him.”

  Sighing, I got up. “Seriously?” He nodded, his grin widening. “Yeah, okay. Whatever.” I looked everywhere but at him. “Good nig
ht.” I walked to my room as my father gloated.

  I lay on my bed, totally ready to sleep, when I remembered about Mom’s friends. Before she got sick, they used to come over once a month. Mom was friendly while Dad was kind of a loner. They complimented each other. The fact the house looked the same as when she was alive didn’t help much. Everywhere you looked, Mom was there. She was in the colorful painting on the living room wall. In the potted plants around the house. In the overused kitchen.

  Dad needed to move on.

  He’d done so much for us that he deserved to be happy.

  My thoughts drifted to Farah and how she was such a great friend. Had I talked to Anne a few years back, I was sure she would have been as wonderful as Farah. But I had messed up, and even after that, I had been lucky to meet someone as nice as Farah was.

  For a moment, I pictured Mom standing close to me, smiling. And I knew, deep down, that she was taking care of us and watching out for us, just like she’d done when she was alive.

  My eyes brimmed with tears. A shaky breath left my lips as I rubbed them away. I hated crying. Mostly in front of others. Lately, though, I’d let my walls break in front of the most unlikely person, Nathan Rivers.

  What was his deal? There was so much mystery surrounding him. He had this tough exterior, but I could tell he was in as much pain as me. And for whatever reason, he seemed to know a lot about me. I honestly never paid attention to him. Ever.

  Until now.

  My mind kept rambling on and on even after I’d closed my eyes. Finally, I dozed off around midnight.

  Chapter Ten

  The usual rush of energy filled my body as I finished jogging. I wondered if that was what Nathan felt like when fighting, and I kind of wanted to slap myself because I just wanted to stop thinking about him.

  Dad kept teasing me over breakfast but kept quiet when I told him I’d bumped into Lucy yesterday. Sadness engulfed him, and I knew exactly what he was feeling, because I felt the same.

  Silently, we finished breakfast and got ready for our respective days. As we stepped out of the house, I hugged him tight. Swallowing hard, I pulled back to find a teary smile drawn on his face. I wished him a good day before kissing him on the cheek and ambling down the street.