A Love to Have and to Hold

by Linda Ford

  He agreed to hand out the handbills and display the poster. “Say, where are you getting the stock?” He addressed Walker.

  “Stock?” How had they gotten this far in planning a rodeo, and he’d never even thought of that small detail? Small? Hardly. Without animals, there would be no events.

  “I can help you out on that score if you’d let me.”

  Let him? Walker would beg him to if necessary. He pretended a casual air. “If you want to do that, I’m happy to let you.”

  “My pleasure.” They shook hands. After some discussion about what they would need, Josie and Walker left and headed back to the manse.

  Out of sight of the barn, Josie stopped, faced him, and began to laugh.

  He stared, wondering what was so funny.

  Josie stifled her amusement at the puzzled look on Walker’s face. “We’re quite the pair, aren’t we? All eager to plan a rodeo and raise money but forgetting the most important thing.” She grinned widely. “Some rodeo it would have been without the animals.”

  Walker pushed his hat back and wiped his forehead. “I’m sure one of us would have eventually realized that small oversight.”

  She chuckled. “Maybe, when it was too late to arrange it.”

  Walker laughed and drew her arm through his.

  She left it there even though she knew she shouldn’t. Lisa and Sylvie’s comments made her realize how easily people would get the wrong idea about her and Walker.

  Not any easier than she might if she wasn’t careful.

  “I told you I didn’t know anything about planning an event,” he said. He drew to a sudden stop and looked at her, his face wreathed in worry. “Is there anything else we’ve overlooked?”

  She tipped her head and gave it serious consideration. “We can use the corrals at the west side of town. We have time, place, and fees. Sylvie is going to sell coffee. Can’t think of anything else we need.”

  “Except a trick roper.” His gaze went back to the barn. “If anyone knows where we might find one, I think it would be Mickey. Come on, let’s ask him.” He drew her after him back to the barn, where they posed the question to Mickey.

  The man leaned back on his heels and grinned at them. “A kid still wet behind the ears was here a couple of weeks ago bragging about how good he was. I put it down to hot air, but then he showed me. I was impressed.”

  “What was his name, and do you have any idea where we might find him?”

  “Only name he gave me was Roper. He said, ‘My name is my skill.’ Can’t say if he made up the name or not. He said he was headed out to the Bar K looking for a job.” Mickey came down hard on the soles of his feet. “Say, Earl Douglas will be in tomorrow to visit Sylvie. You could ask him about the kid.”

  “Thanks.” Walker cheered as they turned down the street toward home. “It sounds like we might get us a trick roper.”

  Josie couldn’t help but laugh at his excitement and feel a bit of pleasure that she could be part of his enjoyment.

  They reached home. He ducked into the addition. “Guess I should get some work done.” He was whistling as she went into the kitchen. She closed the door and leaned against it, still smiling.

  Ma and Pa were absent, but Stella looked at her.

  “You seem pleased with yourself. I’m guessing you had a pleasant morning.” Stella’s smile was warm as if she liked what she saw.

  Josie laughed. “It was very successful. Norm will let me display my sewing at the store.” She could hardly keep her feet to a normal pace as she crossed to the stove. “I’m going to make a fancy cowboy shirt and see if I can sell some when folks come for the rodeo.”

  “That’s a good idea. When did you think of that?”

  “It was something Walker said last night.” Josie saw the way Stella’s eyes brightened, and she hurried on before the woman could jump to any false conclusions. “We took the handbills to be distributed. We put up three posters. Sylvie said she would serve coffee and collect money from its sale to add to the proceeds. Mickey is going to arrange for stock and get this!” She couldn’t keep her voice from revealing her pent-up joy and hoped Stella wouldn’t mention it. She couldn’t explain it to herself, let alone someone else. “Mickey knows someone who can do trick roping.” Her smile was wide, and she guessed her eyes flashed with the happiness bursting from her heart.

  She could not have denied that the morning of talking and laughing with Walker was somehow responsible.

  “You know what’s funny?” she continued. “We hadn’t even considered the animals we’d need until Mickey asked about it.”

  Stella studied her with a sober expression. “As if God knew what you’d need and arranged for it?”

  Josie blinked. She hadn’t even considered that. And her one of the preacher’s daughters? “God is good and provides in surprising ways.”

  Stella looked troubled. “I wish I could see it happening in my life.”

  Josie’s happiness made her want Stella to see that God had been working in her life and would continue to do so. “But didn’t God send someone to rescue you when you were close to death? And didn’t you end up here, where you are welcome and cared for?”

  Stella nodded. “He did. Please understand that I’m grateful. It’s just that I feel like my life is stalled. When my husband was alive, we had so many plans for the future. Now I have none. It’s like the future has been snatched away from me.”

  Josie’s heart went out to the woman who wasn’t much older than herself. She sat by Stella and took her hands. Cold and trembling. “I’m sure God has something wonderful planned for you even if you can’t see it at the moment.” But if Josie’s goal of having her own business and providing for her own future was taken away, she would feel every bit as defeated as Stella did. “Sometimes it’s hard to trust when we can’t see, but I suppose trust that has to see isn’t really trust.”

  “I simply have no choice but to trust God for the future.” Stella returned to her knitting.

  Josie decided not to tell Stella that she herself wasn’t fully convinced either. “Where’s Ma and Pa?”

  “They went over to the church. I believe they wanted to be alone.”

  “Where are the children?” It was strangely quiet.

  “Jean took them. She’ll bring them back when it’s time for Blossom to have her nap.”

  It was nice that Stella had a friend who helped with the children.

  Josie went to the stove. “I’ll finish getting dinner ready.” Ma had left a pot of soup simmering. Josie mixed up a pudding, sliced bread, and set the table.

  She went to the door and called, “Dinner.” Would Ma and Pa hear her? Or should she run over to the church? She didn’t want to intrude, so she waited.

  Walker came from the addition. “It’s hard to believe the morning is already gone. I haven’t achieved much here.”

  His words were a sharp reminder of how little time she had to get her sewing projects completed and ready to display.

  Her parents came from the church. Good. No reason to delay dinner. She hurried inside, served the soup, and waited for the others to sit. No one seemed inclined to linger at the table. Her parents went back to the church as soon as the meal was over. Stella’s children returned and she and Blossom went to their room. Donny asked to go back to Jean’s and play with her children. He was given permission. Walker went out to the addition.

  Josie climbed the stairs, sat at the window, and picked up the dress she was fashioning. This was her favorite spot to work. She could enjoy the view from the window. However, her gaze did not seek the trees along the river, nor the tidy rows of the garden—both things she normally enjoyed from her vantage point. No, instead, she watched Walker go to the stack of lumber, pick up a piece of wood, and hold it up as if measuring it with his eye. He set it aside and examined a second piece. It must have satisfied him, for he carried it into the building.

  He was a careful man. She’d seen it in the way he did every task, whether colorin
g a poster or hanging a door.

  A careful man would not understand the life Josie had once lived.

  She ducked her head and resumed her project. Nothing mattered but getting this dress finished and making a shirt so she could get orders.

  Walker concentrated on building a cupboard for the workroom. It was time he finished up and moved on. Just as soon as he heard back from his uncle. Though how long would he wait before he had to go looking for him? He’d forget about his uncle but for his promise to his ma. And of course, there was the rodeo. He chuckled. The rodeo promised to be lots of fun.

  He paused and looked toward the house. Hadn’t he and Josie enjoyed a few laughs about forgetting that they needed animals? If only they hadn’t forgotten anything else.

  Like the fact Josie had no interest in a broke cowboy.

  Determined to concentrate on the work before him, he measured, cut, and nailed pieces into place.

  The house door opened, and his good intentions disappeared. He glanced that direction. Stella moving outside to sit in the sun.

  Walker waited, but Josie did not join the woman.

  He returned to his task. It wasn’t like he expected she would. Or that he imagined she would saunter over and talk to him. Of course, he didn’t. Neither of them was what the other needed.

  He meant to keep moving.

  She wasn’t going anywhere. Didn’t need anyone.

  He made up his mind. By the time of the rodeo, he should be able to finish the work he’d told Jacob he’d do. He’d buy his tack and horse, pay his bill at the store, and move on.

  Chapter 11

  The next morning Walker left the house as soon as breakfast was over. He’d noticed that Josie had brought her sewing down to the kitchen. She was obviously anxious to get her projects ready to display. Eager to live out her dream of independence. No need of anyone else.

  He told himself it didn’t matter. But he couldn’t convince himself even though he reiterated the list he’d mentally made the night before.

  He heard the door open and close and glanced up to see the elder Kinsleys go to the church. He watched until they were inside. Did they often go there to be alone? He smiled. It must be nice to need each other that much.

  Donny raced past the addition and into the kitchen. He yelled, “Someone’s comin’.”

  Walker remained where he was, out of sight but able to see what was going on.

  A trail dusty cowboy approached the door. Josie stood in the narrow opening.

  The cowboy doffed his hat, dismounted, and stood a few feet away. He held out a handbill. “I wanna enter this.”

  Walker decided it was time for him to make an appearance. “How can I help you?” he said.

  The cowboy repeated his request.

  “I’ll get paper and pen and start a list.” Josie hurried to the sitting room and returned with the items. Walker and the other man waited in the doorway.

  Josie sat at the table. “Name? Event?” She wrote as the information was given.

  “I got the money right here.” He handed it to Walker.

  The two men shook hands, and the cowboy left.

  “What do I do with the money?” Walker asked. He hadn’t given the entries and the entrance money any thought. Thankfully, Josie seemed to know what to do.

  “I’ll get a tin.” She found a square one and handed it to him.

  “I guess you better keep it here.” He didn’t want it out in the addition where anyone could come in and take it.

  She put it on the middle shelf of the cupboard and closed the door. “It will be safe here.”

  “Fine.” He went back to his work. But a few minutes later, Donny yelled.

  “Another cowboy comin’.”

  Again, Walker went out to greet the man and again, Josie wrote down his name and the events he wished to enter. Walker put the money in the tin and returned to his work.

  But they both soon learned they wouldn’t be getting a lot of work done that day. Again and again a cowboy or a pair of them, even a trio once, came to the door and were entered into the rodeo.

  Dinner was interrupted by cowboys. The afternoon brought more of them.

  Mrs. Kinsley and the preacher spent the morning in the church and then, after dinner, left to visit someone.

  Stella went to her room for her usual afternoon sleep.

  That left Josie basically alone with man after man coming to her door.

  Walker stopped working in the addition where he was making cupboards. Instead, he did his best to look busy in the yard, his presence plainly visible to any visitors. He understood that they were likely all decent men. But he’d spent enough time working on ranches to know there were always one or two bad apples with no consideration for what was right or wrong.

  Over supper, Jacob said, “Seems everyone wants to be part of this event.”

  “Sorry, sir. I didn’t know it would be like this.” Walker had to admit he hadn’t known what to expect. If he had realized men would be riding into the yard all day, he probably wouldn’t have thought the rodeo was such a good idea.

  “No need to apologize,” Jacob said. “It means the event will be successful.”

  Josie must have read the uncertainty in Walker’s expression. “That’s good. It’s what we want.”

  “Yes, of course.”

  No one invited him to hang around after supper. Perhaps everyone was tired. He made his way to his room and stood by the window that allowed him a view of barn where the new horse grazed contentedly. Beyond that was the dusty street and the river. He angled his shoulder to the window frame. Tomorrow was Sunday. Perhaps he would ask Josie to walk with him by the river. They could go over the plans for the rodeo and make sure they hadn’t forgotten anything else.

  Darkness filled the corners and drifted across the room. It was time for bed. Tired from staying up late the night before to make posters, he was soon asleep.

  After Sunday breakfast, Walker accompanied the family as they crossed to the church. They barely made it inside before folks started to arrive. Jonathan Bates was among the first. He hurried up the aisle to inquire after Jacob’s health.

  “I’m glad you’re up to delivering the sermon,” the old cowboy said. “It will do my soul good.”

  The married Kinsley sisters and their husbands arrived. Young Matt, the half-grown boy who lived with Eve and Cole, was with them, as were two older ladies—one in a wheelchair—who shared Eve and Cole’s home. They were introduced as Cole’s aunt and mother.

  Everyone expressed their relief that the preacher looked so much better.

  Jacob opened with prayer. Eve played the piano, and sitting by Walker, Josie sang sweetly.

  Walker drank in every note of the music and every word of Jacob’s sermon. A man could get used to being surrounded by caring, generous, loving people.

  After the service many spoke to Walker about the rodeo. He was glad Josie stayed at his side to help answer the various questions. The crowd finally dispersed, and the family returned to the manse where they gathered round the table for dinner. Walker wasn’t part of the family, but he was included.

  The thought jarred through him. He hadn’t felt part of a family since the Texas ranch was sold even though he’d had a ma and pa. He tried to think why that was so, but his attention was diverted by something Kade said to Flora, and he forgot the question.

  The family was at times joking and laughing. At other times, they were serious and thoughtful. The elder Kinsleys, Cole’s ma and aunt, and Mr. Bates went to the parlor to visit.

  Stella and her children had, again, gone to see her friend.

  The conversation around the table turned to plans for the rodeo, and Josie and Walker explained what they’d done.

  Josie laughed, her teasing gaze catching Walker in its grasp as she told about Mickey asking about the stock. “Would you believe neither of us had considered getting animals?” Her grin widened. “It’s understandable on my part, but Walker? And him being a cowboy.
A Texas cowboy at that.” She shook her head. “Sure beats me how he didn’t think of it.”

  The others laughed, and Walker endured a few minutes of good-natured joshing. He didn’t mind. In fact, it was more than worth it to see the way Josie smiled at him.

  He decided to turn the tables. “You wouldn’t believe the number of cowboys coming to the house yesterday. Seems they were only too glad of the excuse. Some of them looked like they would’ve paid for the pleasure of the visit. Never mind entering a rodeo.”

  That shifted the teasing to Josie.

  “Any of them catch your eye?” Cole asked.

  She shook her head. “All too dusty.”

  “Shall I send them back after they clean up?” Reese said.

  “Not interested.” Josie’s reply was dismissive.

  “Oh, you boys know Josie doesn’t intend to marry.” Flora flipped a red braid over her shoulder as she talked. “She thinks love is too great a risk.”

  The girls nodded, and the men stared at Josie.

  “Isn’t that right?” Flora persisted.

  Josie darted a look at Walker then scowled at her sister. “I never said that.” She sat up straighter and gave them all a look of disdain. “Though I might not deny it either.”

  Her comment earned her a burst of arguments.

  Walker knew she meant to get a reaction from them, but he couldn’t help but wonder how much truth was in her words. He meant to challenge them without being confrontational. “Maybe it isn’t love that’s the risk. After all, look at your parents.”

  “Can’t,” Josie said. “They’ve gone to the parlor.”

  Walker waved her comment away as the others waited for him to finish. “You all know that their love has endured through good times and bad.”

  They murmured agreement.

  “So maybe it’s something else.”

  “Such as?” Eve prompted.

  “I can’t say, because it’s likely something different for everyone.”

  Those around him looked thoughtful.