Penny and Boots Complete Series Omnibus: An Unveiled Academy Novel - Snakes and Shadows, Werewolves and Wendigo, Pixels and Poltergeists, Bunyips and Billabongs

by Amy Hopkins

  Penny’s blood ran cold. “What did it look like?”

  Crenel ducked his head up, glancing around worriedly. “Cisco! Get in the car!”

  Cisco headed toward them as Crenel moved to the trunk and popped it open.

  “Crenel!” Penny snapped. “What did it look like?”

  Still glancing nervously over his shoulder, Crenel suddenly froze. “Like that.” He raised a hand and pointed into the trees by the road.

  The bandaged man stood at the side of the road, head misshapen from the blow Penny had inflicted with the rock.

  Penny eyed the evil Myther with dismay. You’re at your most vulnerable when you think you’ve won. “Glass, you motherfucker. Hate it when you’re right.”

  Crenel snorted. “You’ve been ignoring your lessons again?” He passed Penny a gun.

  “Apparently,” she said, taking the weapon from him.

  “Stay here. I’ve got this.” Crenel strode forward with a long spear in his hand.

  It’s not going to work. The thought reached Penny’s consciousness just as the creature launched itself into Crenel.

  The agent thrust the spear forward, ramming it right through the enemy and out the other side.

  The bandaged man didn’t even flinch. It grabbed Crenel’s arm and twisted it. The agent screamed, and Penny cried out in alarm when a bone popped out, piercing his sleeve.

  “Let him go!” Cisco slammed into the creature and knocked it down, then ran into the road to lure the beast away.

  Penny grabbed Crenel’s shoulder. “Get in the car,” she snapped.

  He grunted in pain, but obeyed, sliding into the car and collapsing next to Amelia.

  Penny kept one eye on Cisco, who dodged back and forth, avoiding the bandaged man’s attacks in the middle of the road.

  “Cisco!” She waited until his head tipped up slightly in response. “Zombie in the rafters!”

  A grin spread over his face as he ducked under another swing of his opponent’s arm.

  Penny climbed into the idling Cadillac and slammed the door closed. She shoved the clutch in and threw it into gear. The wheels screamed, and the car responded. “Buckle up!”

  The Cadillac was as old as the agent who drove it, and it was just as reliable. The car lurched forward, engine roaring.

  Penny nudged the wheel, pressed the accelerator harder, and held her breath as it sped toward the duo fighting in the road.

  Cisco slammed what was left of the stick into the bandaged man’s face.

  “Move, Cisco!” Penny slammed the horn, and right at the last moment, Cisco sprung away.

  The car jolted as it rammed the monster. Penny’s head smacked against the roof as she drove over its body.

  She braked and put the car in park, then hopped out. The trunk was still open, the contents a jumbled mess.

  Penny rummaged until she found what she was looking for and walked over to Cisco.

  She stood over the pile of linens and admired the tire tracks running over the lumpy mess.

  “What now?” Cisco asked.

  Penny handed him a machete and shook the lighter in her other hand. “You cut. I’ll burn.”

  Chapter Twenty-One

  The first fingers of dawn crept over the mountain. Penny’s ears still rang from the pummeling beat of the chopper that had airlifted Agent Crenel to the hospital and taken the seared, dismembered body of the bandaged man with it.

  “You should have gone,” Penny said for the third time.

  “Not until I see him,” Amelia said. She inspected the fresh bandage on her arm. “It’s not bleeding anymore. They did a good job of patching me up, and I can fix the rest when we get back to the Academy.”

  “You’re tougher than I am,” Cisco admitted. “I would have gone for the good painkillers and a nice, comfy ride to hospital if it was me.”

  “It nearly was you,” Penny reminded him. “You really left it until the last moment to get out of my way, didn’t you?”

  Cisco shrugged. “I didn’t want him to see what you were doing.” He hesitated. “Do you think he’s really dead this time?”

  “If he’s not, it’s not our problem.” Penny’s eyes traced the line of the mountains. “But yeah. I think we got him.”

  A rustle nearby made her sit up. “What was that?”

  “It was Boots.” Amelia jutted her chin in the direction of the snake, who was headed toward the trees, dragging a pair of jeans. “Uhh, Boots? Where did you get those?”

  Boots coughed and continued on her way. Penny shaded her eyes and looked toward the trees. A moment later, she clapped her hands over her eyes. “Argh! I’m blinded!”

  “Well, you shouldn’t have been looking! It’s not my fault you’re between a man and his pants.”

  “Red!” Amelia jumped to her feet and threw herself at him, yelping when he squeezed her arm by accident.

  Penny peeked through her fingers and dropped her hands in relief when she saw Red's jeans were now firmly on his body.

  “Ah, sorry, love. Are you all right?” Red carefully placed his arms around her and pulled her to his chest.

  “We’re fine.” Amelia’s voice was choked, and when he let her go, her eyes were red. She slapped his chest. “No thanks to you, idiot.”

  He gave a chagrined smile. “That’s true. I’m so sorry, Amelia. I shouldn’t have left like that.”

  “Did you find a cure?” Cisco asked.

  Red shook his head. “No. I was so sure! The answer to your question is at the beginning of the journey, it said.”

  “Are you sure it was real?” Penny asked gently.

  “One hundred percent certain,” Red said. He dug in a back pocket and pulled a tiny scrap of paper out.

  Amelia examined it closely, lips moving as she read the fortune. She flipped it over to check the back. This time, her slap was hard enough to elicit a grunt. “You moron! This isn’t real!”

  Red leaned forward to look. “What? How do you know?”

  “Real Chinese fortune cookies aren’t ‘made and packaged in Taiwan,’ you numbskull.” Amelia screwed the paper up and tossed it on the ground. “All this, and you didn’t even find a cure!”

  Red blushed. “Aye. But maybe I did get something out of it.” At Amelia’s quizzical glance, he continued. “I was in full control last night. I was strong and fast, and I saved you all!” He dodged another slap. “Okay, I know you wouldn’t have needed saving if I wasn’t a giant rock-brained idiot, but being a werewolf isn’t the end of the world.”

  “It’s the end of my food budget,” Amelia muttered. Still, she leaned in and squeezed him tight.

  “What happened to you, anyway?” Penny asked. “Do you know where Tobias is?”

  Red shook his head. “What a mess it all was. Tobias and Corey found me searching for that altar. I got a bit lost, you see. They tied me up, and Corey figured out pretty quick that I wouldn’t be alone out here, that you’d be looking for me.”

  “So they set a trap for us.” Cisco shoved his hands in his pockets. “Did they know you’d wolf out?”

  Red grinned, baring his teeth in a decidedly wolfish manner. “Nope. Tobias damn near shit his pants when I started to turn. He ran like a pussy. I started chasing him, but I turned back to look for you lot.”

  “So, if he didn’t know you were infected, does that mean he didn’t summon the first wolf?” Penny frowned, trying to put it together.

  Red shook his head. “I don’t think he knew anything about it. The bandaged bastard, though? That was all Tobias. Some local legend he dug up. Said once he had a few more sacrifices, he’d be able to control it.”

  “Where’d you go, anyway?” Amelia pulled back. “You left us to fight that thing alone!”

  “Moonset,” Red said with a shrug. “I was starting to turn back and I didn’t want poor Penny to get an eyeful of me giant dog balls, so I ran. Only I got turned about, and couldn’t find my way back.”

  “Thank you,” Penny said gratefully. “Your huma
n balls were horrifying enough. I’m very, very glad I didn’t see the wolf version.”

  “Ah, you don’t know what you’re missing!” Red glanced at Amelia and was crestfallen to see her unimpressed glare.

  Penny walked over and wrapped her arms around the couple, squeezing them both tightly. “I’m just glad we’re all okay.”

  Munder sipped at his milk thoughtfully. “You went into the dark wood to find the one you call friend?” The Myther made a sound of curiosity when Penny nodded. “That was very brave. I do not think I could have done that.”

  “I’m sure you could,” Penny said reassuringly. “If you had to save someone you cared about.”

  “Perhaps.” Munder nibbled a cookie. “But I do think you are all very courageous.”

  “Damn right, we are!” Red raised a mug of beer and toasted the monster. “Aren’t we?”

  “Some of us are.” Amelia ignored his shock and sipped at her pina colada. “Did you go to see Crenel today?”

  Penny looked up at the question and nodded. “He’s doing well. The arm is almost better, at any rate. He’s pissed at the bureau, though. Said he gave them an ultimatum.”

  “A what now?” Cisco leaned in, his curiosity piqued.

  Penny nodded. “He told them they had to commit to faster response times or he and March wouldn’t let us go out in the field.”

  “What?” Cisco’s screech brought more than one Myther’s attention to him in the bar. “He can’t do that!”

  “Well, he probably can,” Penny admitted. “But I don’t think he will. Hopefully, we won’t have to find out. Delouise came in as I was leaving, and she said it looks like they’ll agree to it.”

  Cisco slumped back into his chair, relieved. “So, what now?”

  Penny grinned, eyes twinkling. “Now, we revel in the fact that we don’t have to do our surveillance assignment, or our defense practical, or our defensive driving exam. We got enough credits to pass us for those classes!”

  To her surprise, Cisco pouted. “Damn. Do you think Mack will let us take the Jeeps out anyway?”

  Penny snorted. “You think he’ll say no after we brought those donors in?”

  Professor Madera had told Cisco, who of course had told Penny immediately, that the news coverage of the events at Cannon Beach had pulled some very wealthy individuals out of the woodwork, all promising financial support for the college.

  Although they were an official training school for the FBI, that funding was going to be used for the private arm of the college March and Blaisey maintained for research purposes.

  “Fair call.” Cisco brightened. “Anyway, Mack would never say no to you. You’re the teacher’s pet!”

  Penny rolled her eyes and put down her drink. “That’s bullshit. You’re the one he offered to take skydiving next week.”

  Smirking, Cisco nodded proudly. “To celebrate passing my first year at the Academy.”

  Penny smiled too, but wistfully. She swirled her almost-empty drink, watching the bubbles circle the bottom of the glass. “One more semester down. Do you realize that means we’re halfway done?”

  Cisco’s face softened. “Halfway. Just one year to go.”

  Penny brightened and raised her glass. She gave a short whistle toward a nearby table, and Bacchus looked up from his conversation with an undersized bunyip.

  The glass filled, and Penny held it out toward her friends. “To one more year of ass-kicking fun. Together.”

  “Together!” Glasses clinked as Cisco, Amelia, and Red echoed Penny’s toast.

  “Together.” Munder smiled, quietly tapping his glass against Penny’s. “And to friends.”

  Author Notes - Amy Hopkins

  October 19, 2019

  If you’re reading this, it’s been at least a month since Snakes and Shadows came out. Here in Australian time… it’s still six days until launch. Well, a week in US time, because I’m ahead of them but behind you. Clear as mud?

  Did you like it? I mean, I guess you didn’t hate it if you’re here. You liked it enough to grab book two. Is it selling well? I always get nervous before an LMBPN launch. When I launched my own series, it was just my own time and money on the line. Now? There are so many people invested in the success of every book.

  Here’s where I hope to be when this little letter of mine goes live: It’ll be November, so I’ll be in Christmas prep mode. Hopefully by then (like, SERIOUSLY), my dog will know that poo is for outside, not in my damn hallway. I won’t lie — I know I won’t have started my Christmas shopping yet. I’m notorious for doing all that at the last minute.

  I’d like to be really close to getting my yellow belt in Tae Kwon-Do. I’m getting my yellow stripe on Tuesday, so it’ll be a stretch, but I’m practicing really hard and have the advantage of ten months observing classes before I joined. Also, I’d like my blister to be healing. Ouch-face-emoji.

  Most of all, I’d love, love, LOVE to see a little orange flag on my books. I want people to be buying, reading, loving them. I want people to count Penny and Boots as a couple of new friends, not just words on a page. To walk the streets of Portland beside me, not just read it in a book.

  So… how did I do? I’ll probably have forgotten this whole thing in a month. Remind me. Tell me if I met my goals (and I’ll tell you if my blisters healed)!

  -A. H.

  P.S. I’m still salty about Diego.

  Author Notes - Michael Anderle

  November 21, 2019

  Thank you for reading this story and making it to the back for our Author Notes!

  Sometimes… No, scratch that. ALL THE DAMNED TIME, you can’t be sure what will come out of Amy’s mouth or be typed by Amy’s little fingers. One of the things I find so fun about her is her funny unpredictability.

  She is like a little Australian (Tasmanian) Devil, with a chunk of attitude on one shoulder and a heart of gold three sizes larger on the other.

  If you have a few minutes and care to drop Amy a note, just open the reviews and leave her a message. You and I both know that for her, they will be little Christmas gifts received a bit early, or late, or really, really early for NEXT year.

  Right now, we are in the last third of the month—20th-30th (we are on the 21st at the moment.) I know Amy is sitting on the 22nd. I’ve been to Australia which is one (1) hour behind the new day. I’m pretty sure it’s sometime around 2:30 in the morning for her.

  Which is FRIDAY! (WOOT )

  I am traveling between Las Vegas and Los Angeles at the moment. Above me are masses of clouds arrayed like warships ready to pass through the sky over the mountains as we travel south by southwest. In the distance, shadows play against the land that is jutting into the sky, and it looks fantabulous.

  However, the sun is aimed right at my stomach, streaming through the front windshield, and I’m burning up.

  I’ll reach LA and be nothing but a burnt skeleton…yuk.

  Why does my imagination always go for the dark side?

  Well, lunch was too much food, and I’m in a losing battle with my eyelids. I wish you well in whatever you are doing at the moment. May the day bring you something special and cool like you reading this book has brought me.

  Ad Aeternitatem,

  Michael

  Pixels And Poltergeists

  Penny and Boots Book 3

  Chapter One

  Penny lifted the scarf around her neck so that it covered her nose. It didn’t work. The cloying aroma of cinnamon drowned her senses.

  She glanced to one side, where Amelia clutched a handkerchief to her face, her eyes red and watering.

  Penny shook her head. Amelia jerked her shoulders in a desperate shrug. Penny waved her hands and mouthed, “No!”

  Tears streamed from Amelia’s eyes. A frantic look was growing on the girl’s face.

  Seeing what was to come, Penny cowered.

  Amelia sneezed, and a screech filled the air as the ragged bird at the top of the mountain of twigs, sticks, incense, and various spices
raised its angry head. Black, beady eyes stared at the cluster of bushes that hid Penny and Amelia.

  “Now you’ve gone and done it.” Cisco’s voice was hushed, but clearly audible through the tiny earbud Penny wore.

  “I couldn’t help it,” Amelia hissed. It was a mistake. The quick intake of breath that fed her words set off a loud coughing spasm. “Oh, no.”

  “Duck!” Before the word was out of Penny’s mouth, she rolled to one side. A wisp of hair tickled her face as the angry bird dove between them.

  It squawked again, then hacked a limp cough of its own. The bird spat and shook its wings, dislodging a few worn feathers. Not many remained—the bird looked scrawny and decrepit. With a haughty glare, it waddled back to its funeral pyre.

  “Have you untangled that net yet?” Penny grumbled into her microphone. “If we don’t catch that damned phoenix before it ignites, this whole forest is going to go up in flames.”

  “I’m trying, I’m trying.” The urgency in Cisco’s voice rang true. “The bird really made a mess of it, though.”

  “I told you, you were holding it wrong,” Red chimed in. “You need to hold your hand the other way around.”

  “Yeah?” Cisco sounded heated now. “I didn’t see your hairy ass running to help me when the claws of doom were trying to gouge out my eyeballs.”

  Penny groaned. "It's a geriatric featherball, Cisco. Can you just catch it already? I've got dirt in my eyes, incense up my nose, and leaves in my crack. This was supposed to be an easy assignment, not a trip to Hell and back."

  "I thought you were on my side!" In his frustration, Cisco forgot he was supposed to be staying quiet. Penny could hear the echo of his voice from the other side of the pile of debris.

  The phoenix perked its head up from the cluster of twigs it was rearranging at the top of the bird-made mountain. It spread its wings and a few more feathers were plucked out by the errant breeze, leaving ominous gaps in the once strong wings. The bird took a step, then another. It gave a tiny hop, probably intending to launch itself into the air.