The Rhythm of My Heart

by Velvet Reed

  “Do you just want water or juice?” Ashley asks, as she approaches the table.

  “An orange juice would be great, thanks,” I reply.

  “Okay, I’ll be right back,” she says, with a smile and heads for the bar.

  After my first appointment with Sam, I went to Flaunting My Flowers to see Ashley. No matter what happened or how angry I was at her, there’s no way I couldn’t have her in my life. The moment I walked through the door, she immediately engulfed me in her arms and we apologized to each other. She’s been by my side constantly.

  So, tonight we’re back at Pitch and Tone, ready to relax and have some fun.

  “How you doing, Momma?” Tone asks, taking a seat opposite me.

  “I’m good, Tone. You?”

  “Can’t complain. Busy as usual.”

  “Well, you definitely can’t complain about that.”

  Ashley comes back with our drinks and slides my OJ in front of me.

  “You all signed up to sing tonight, missy?” Tone asks Ashley.

  “Of course! When do I not share my awesome vocal stylings with your patrons,” she declares.

  Tone just chuckles and gets to his feet. “Silly question, I guess. I’ve gotta run, but if you need anything, little Momma, and I mean anything; you just let me know, okay?”

  I give him a big smile. I have some truly amazing friends. “Absolutely. Thanks, Tone.” He nods his head and walks away.

  “Apparently there’s some special performance first, so I have to wait until later to sing,” Ashley informs me.

  “Oh, well, you’ll still get your turn. I wonder what the special act is.”

  “Pitch wouldn’t say. Something about it being a big surprise. Whatever that means.”

  With a few more minutes before open mic begins, we chat about my appointment today, and Ashley tries casually to ask how Sam is. I knew she was interested and I’m just about to ask her, when Pitch takes to the stage.

  “Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen,” he says, and the room gets quiet. “Before we start the normal open mic part of the night, we have a special performance for you. He’s a little nervous, so don’t give him any crap, all right?”

  Ashley and I share a curious glance at each other; when I turn back to the stage, my heart lurches and takes off in a frantic sprint.

  “Oh, shit,” says Ashley, her mouth hanging open; obviously, as shocked as I am.

  He’s standing on the stage in the same clothes he wore the first night he came to Pitch and Tone. Dark jeans, white t-shirt, and black jacket. He’s gorgeous.

  “Hi, everyone,” he says, and I close my eyes taking in the beautiful sound of his voice, a voice I’ve missed terribly. “My name’s Cole, and I’m standing here tonight because I’m hoping to get back the love of my life.” A resounding chorus of “awwws” fills the room.

  “No, no,” Cole says. “Don’t feel sorry for me. I wasn’t completely honest with her about a past relationship, and when the truth came out, it broke her heart.” A few people in the crowd ‘boo’. I can’t believe he’s actually up there doing this; I don’t know if I want to punch him in the face for putting our issues public or kiss the shit out of him.

  “Yeah. I know; I was stupid. I was stupid to think I had to keep something from her. Stupid that I didn’t tell her earlier how much I love her and how much I need her in my life, just to make it through each day. But I do.”

  The entire room is deathly quiet, and as Cole’s gaze lands on me, it feels like every other pair of eyes in the room do too.

  “Gracie, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I hurt you by not telling you everything. I’m sorry I haven’t fought for you over the past month like I should have, and most of all, I’m sorry I wasn’t there holding your hand the first time you saw our baby.”

  Cole’s gaze leaves mine for a moment before returning with tears glistening in his eyes. He takes his hand and lays his palm over his heart. “Every beat my heart makes is for you. Every time it beats faster, it’s because of you; because you’re near me; because of your smile, because you take my breath away. If I don’t have you, Gracie, if you don’t exist in my world, then there’s no reason for it to continue beating. It will remain lifeless like it has for the last month. The amount of love I have for you is more than you could possibly imagine or understand. You are the reason my heart beats. You, Grace Rivers, set the rhythm of my heart.”

  Tears come gushing down my cheeks in endless torrents as Cole lays his heart and feelings bare for all to see, for me to see. He wipes his cheeks removing his tears and grabs hold of the microphone in a white knuckled grip. “So this song is fitting and I’m going to sing this for you because, even if you don’t take me back, I will love you for the rest of my life, Gracie, and no one will ever take your place.”

  Music immediately begins to play and Cole starts singing, “Gone, Gone, Gone” by Phillip Phillips.

  I’m trying hard to compose myself but it’s almost impossible. I chance a quick look at Ashley; she, too, has tears running unchecked down her face. Without looking at me, she reaches over and takes my hand squeezing it tightly in a show of support.

  I turn my attention back to the stage and the beautiful man pouring his heart out. I take in the words he’s singing and the look in his eyes as he watches me and only me. A sob leaves me as my breathing becomes ragged, simply because I’m overcome with the emotions colliding within me.

  A small smile graces my lips when he sings about me being his backbone, his crutch, and his pulse, all ironically medical references. He definitely picked the perfect song.

  As Cole enters the final lines of the song, I’m unsure of what to do. I need to tell him how I feel, but I’m still scared. The whole room is quiet when the song ends, and with Cole’s eyes staring at me intently, waiting for me to make the next move; my decision is made for me. Without saying a word to Ashley, I quickly scoot out of my chair and walk away from the table.

  Chapter 37

  Cole….

  I stare after her as she walks away, her back is to me with no acknowledgement of what I’ve just done or said. I’m shattered. I’m beyond devastated. Seeing her walk away again is like a knife straight through my heart and confirms the fact that I’ve lost her for good.

  I glance around the room that’s packed with people I don’t know. They’re all staring at me with pity in their eyes, and it’s humiliating. I quickly walk to the side of the stage and jump down. Making my way through the crowd, the murmuring picks up and I can hear people saying things like ‘poor guy’ and ‘how embarrassing’. They can all go to hell.

  A hand on my arm stops me in my tracks and I turn to see Ashley who has obviously been crying. “I’m sorry, Cole. I don’t know where she went, but she wasn’t unaffected by what you just did. That was the most beautiful act of love I’ve ever seen,” she tells me sincerely.

  “I guess it wasn’t enough for Gracie though, huh,” I reply, completely deflated.

  “Look, maybe she just went to the bathroom or something,” Ashley says, hopefully.

  I snort and shake my head. “We both know that’s not true, Ash. It’s really over and I just have to accept that.”

  I continue walking dejectedly to the back of the room where my parents, April, Sam, Bryan, and Charlie are all standing together. Mom has tears in her eyes, as does April, and the guys all have grim looks on their faces.

  “I’m so sorry, Cole. When you told me what you had planned, I honestly thought it would work,” Bryan says, and clasps my shoulder.

  “That’s it, I guess; there’s really nothing else I can do to get her back. I just put it all out there and she walked away. I can’t… I can’t believe it’s really over,” I tell them.

  Mom comes to me and wraps me in loving arms. “It will work out, Cole. Somehow, it will work out. Please don’t give up,” she implores.

  I pull back and shake my head. “I don’t know what else to do, Mom.”

  Charlie hands me a beer and I practically down th
e whole thing in one gulp. My family and friends talk around me, but I’m lost in my drowning pit of despair and can’t focus on any of the conversations. I’ve lost her. I’ve really lost. The pressure in my chest is excruciating; I briefly wonder if dying of a broken heart is, in fact, a plausible cause of death.

  I vaguely hear what sounds like a gasp and notice the wide eyes of Ashley and Bryan. As I down the rest of my beer, I hear Bryan say, “She hasn’t sung since Maggie passed away.” His voice cracks a little.

  In my own little world of sorrow, it isn’t until my dad saying my name and shaking me, pulls me together. “Cole, turn around,” he says.

  “What?” I ask, and slowly turn toward the stage where the love of my life stands nervously behind the microphone.

  I drink in the sight of her. Her gorgeous auburn hair’s hanging in loose waves over her shoulders. The blue long sleeve wrap dress hugs her body and clearly displays the small, round swell of her stomach. That’s my baby. When my gaze finally comes to her face, her eyes are glistening, but no tears are falling from her mesmerizing, brown eyes.

  We stare at each other for what seems like an eternity, when in reality it’s mere seconds. The room has gone quiet again; everyone’s waiting with baited breath to see what Gracie is going to say or do. But she says nothing.

  Minutes pass by and my nerves are shot. Anxiety and anticipation are ricocheting through every part of my body, and I suddenly feel nauseous. Pull yourself together, Cole.

  Finally, Gracie opens her mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. She turns her head to the side of the stage and gives a small nod. A slow melody of piano and guitar begin; then Gracie’s beautiful voice captures the attention of every single person in the room.

  She sings about missing blue eyes, about kissing at night. The room and everyone in it fade away as she tells me how she misses everything about me. I’m entranced by her words, by the love in her eyes, by everything about the woman who owns me completely.

  With each word she sings, I take a step toward her. The pull she has on me is strong and almost tangible; I couldn’t stop it, if I tried. The closer I get, the stronger the pull. When I’m finally standing at the edge of the stage, gazing up at her with unbridled love and adoration, she reaches the final line and holds it perfectly.

  As a single tear escapes and glides down her beautiful face, she takes a deep breath and smiles at me. My heart explodes with joy from just that smile; a smile I have desperately missed seeing for the past month.

  “I never told you before, but I’m telling you now. I love you, Cole Tierney. I love you with every fiber of my being and I miss you so much,” she confesses.

  Unable to wait any longer, I jump up onto the stage and pull her into my arms in a tight embrace. When our bodies meet, it’s like two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle fitting together perfectly. We just hold each other and allow our bodies to reconnect, as well as our hearts. Home. This is where we belong. Right here in each other’s arms.

  Slowly, we pull apart; all our emotions, joy, relief, happiness, and love etched on our faces. I unravel my arms and tenderly cup her face in my hands. “I love you so much, Gracie. I’m never letting you go, ever again. I can’t live without you,” I tell her.

  “I love you, too, Cole. I’m sorry I’ve been so stubborn,” she replies.

  “It’s okay, Sweet Cheeks. We both made mistakes, but now, we can fix them.”

  Gracie nods her head slowly and everything feels right. I lean in, and as our lips touch, the fiery sparks of electricity that occur from touching Gracie, course through my body igniting the undeniable connection that we have.

  We slowly explore each other’s mouths, allowing our tongues to reconnect and rediscover what they have missed for too long. Gracie’s hands glide through my hair, pulling me closer, not wanting to let go.

  The sounds of clapping and cheering break through our bubble, and I reluctantly pull my lips away. Leaning my forehead against hers, I sigh deeply. “I’ve missed you so much, Gracie.”

  “Me too,” she breathes.

  “Come on, there’s some people waiting for us,” I say, and take her hand. I let go of her for a second to jump off the stage; then, I turn around to help Gracie down. I put my hands on her waist, gently brushing the swell of her belly, while she places her hands on my shoulders and I lift her down. With one quick kiss to the tip of her nose, I pull her through the crowd to our families.

  The beaming smiles and tears of happiness that greet us are infectious. Everyone is hugging and kissing; overjoyed that Gracie and I are back together. The lingering hug between my mom and Gracie, and then seeing my mom tenderly rubbing her belly, has my chest swelling with love. This is exactly how things should be.

  Surrounded by the people we love, and who love and support us unconditionally, Gracie and I are ready to move on to the next chapter of our lives.

  We finally walk through my front door just after ten o’clock, and I can see that Gracie’s tired. After all the hugging and kissing, everyone wanted to sit back and enjoy the evening together, when all I wanted to do was bring Gracie home and hold her.

  Getting up on the stage and singing was a big deal for Gracie. Bryan went on and on about it for the rest of the night, both in shock and in awe of her performance. Everyone knew Gracie hadn’t sung since her mom died, but she got up there and did it for me. That gesture alone is something tremendous.

  Closing and locking the door behind us, I turn to my beautiful girl. “That was some night, huh?”

  She smiles at me and nods. “Yeah, it really was.”

  “Are you tired?” I ask her, worried she may have overdone it and wanting to make sure she gets enough rest.

  “Yeah, I am actually. Are you sure you want me to stay?”

  That small amount of uncertainty in her voice and words needs to be fixed and fast. I walk over to her, scoop her up in my arms, and head for my bedroom.

  “Cole!” she squeaks in surprise and wraps her arms around my neck.

  “You belong with me, Gracie. You belong in my bed; after being away from you for so long, there’s definitely no other place I want you to be.”

  Nuzzling her face into my chest, I hear her inhale and sigh. “There’s no place I’d rather be either. God, I’ve missed the way you smell.”

  When I make it to my bed, I slowly lay Gracie down and remove her shoes. Then I sit down and gently massage each foot, eliciting soft moans from Gracie. “Oh, God, that feels like heaven.” she sighs.

  I don’t plan to make love to Gracie tonight. We haven’t talked about what happened and we haven’t even discussed the baby, but with her lying here on my bed, all relaxed and sensually inviting, I know it’s going to take everything in me not to.

  Letting go of her foot, I move up the bed and lie beside her. We remain quiet while we lazily gaze at each other, our eyes moving over each other’s faces, memorizing every curve, every freckle, and every laugh line.

  Slowly moving forward while still gazing into my eyes, Gracie closes the small distance between us and places her lips to mine. I move my hand to her neck, guiding her closer, and then I kiss her back. What starts out as a slow melding of lips and tongue, quickly becomes more as our need to be one again takes over.

  Her taste and the softness of her lips are irresistible as I run my tongue along her lips, and then plunge it back into the depths of her sweet mouth. Gracie throws her left leg over my hip in an effort to pull my body closer.

  “Cole, I need you,” she breathes. “Please, make love to me.”

  While my cock is begging to do what Gracie’s asking, my brain is telling me to talk first; I don’t know what to do. “Don’t you think we should talk about everything first, baby,” I ask, wanting to know how she feels.

  She shakes her head “No. We can talk tomorrow. Right now, I need you to make love to me. I need to know you’re really here.”

  That’s all the confirmation I need to keep going, so I shift back and undo the belt of her wrap dress
. With slow deliberate movements, I part the two pieces of material and allow them to fall away to the bed. The black lace bra she’s wearing barely contains her full, round breasts that have grown since I last had the pleasure of seeing them. I trail a finger from the curve at the top, down over the lace covering her pebbled nipple, and continue down to the burgeoning swell of her stomach.

  Splaying my hand tenderly across her abdomen, I caress the place where our baby is growing inside her. Lowering myself down, I pepper soft, loving kisses on her stomach. “Daddy loves you, little one,” I softly whisper, and place one last kiss there before looking up to see Gracie’s eyes sparkling with tears and her face beaming with the most beautiful smile.

  I continue moving down and hook my fingers in the sides of her panties, slowly gliding them down her legs and over her feet. Dropping them to the floor, I start working my way back up, kissing the length of her left leg. Gracie’s body trembles under my feather light touches and kisses. When I get back to her stomach, she reaches out and grabs my face. “I love that you’re being so gentle and thorough, but please, baby, I need you.”

  Sitting back on my heels, I quickly rid myself of my jacket and shirt. I then shuffle around removing my pants and boxer briefs. The sight of Gracie staring at my throbbing cock while licking her lips has me ready to come right then and there.

  I help Gracie up and completely remove her dress. I unclip her bra and toss it on the floor with the rest of our discarded clothes. Pregnancy has most certainly changed Gracie’s body, but in a way that’s more arousing and lusciously feminine than before.

  Her breasts are fuller, her body’s curvier, and her skin’s glowing; all of these changes ensure that the sight of Gracie naked before me is more glorious than any great work of art.