Kate shook her head. “It doesn’t sound like it to me.”
“Really?” Tatum remarked, knowing she was going to take her son’s side.
“I love my son. He has a good heart, even though he’s quite a…”
“Jerk,” Tatum gladly answered.
Kate giggled and Tatum laughed. It seemed weird to hear an older woman giggle. The woman continued. “You know, I believe you two are a good match. But you have to let go.”
“Let go of what?” she asked, leery of what the answer might be.
“My husband Earl and I always loved our son.” She paused, brushing some emotions aside. “But the one thing we failed to realize is we can’t live our son’s life. My Earl went to his grave bitter over our son’s decision to leave school. That doesn’t mean he didn’t love him—he just thought he knew better. Lord knows, I’ve made the same mistake.”
“You wanted him to be the first in the family to graduate from college. That’s not wrong.”
“Yes it is. My dreams aren’t his. I’ve always wanted to go to college and so did my Earl.” She paused for a few moments. “Lord knows I was blessed with the brains, but money was short. That’s why we saved all the money we could. We didn’t want him to face the same problem.”
“I understand.”
Kate shook her head. “No you don’t. When my son left college, I was crushed. I thought he was trying to hurt us for something we did in the past.”
Tatum struggled to follow her. “It’s not bad to want your child to have a better life.”
“It is when that’s not the life your child wants,” Kate said.
“My family only wants what’s best for me.”
“But is it really best for you?”
Tatum tried to answer but couldn’t. It wasn’t the best. She faced a life without Seth and her family. She didn’t know what to do about it. There was no way to please them both.
“It took me a long time to realize that my son was right. I didn’t have the right to live his life and make his choices. Unfortunately, your family doesn’t know that.”
Tatum sighed. She finally spoke from the heart when she commented. “All I want to do is love Seth, but I don’t want my family to hate me.”
“You can’t change people’s opinions. You have to be happy. If Seth truly makes you happy, you have to follow through.”
Suddenly, the women jumped. They heard a key turn in the lock. Seth was home. Kate’s expression turned to something resembling fright, and Tatum realized the woman must have been worried about her son’s reaction. She told her, “I’ll tell him you’re here.”
Kate nodded, grateful he would have a chance to get used to her being there before he actually saw her.
Seth was closing the door behind him by the time Tatum entered the living room. If he was surprised she was still there, he quickly recovered. “I’m not in the mood.”
Tatum noticed he looked like he hadn’t slept. He hadn’t shaved and his eyes were red. She wondered if he’d been drinking. Maybe he was with Gabby.
As he walked past her, she grabbed his arm. He snatched it away. Tatum would have gladly let him walk away from her. Just having him in the apartment was a relief. But she couldn’t let him go. His mother needed him more than Tatum did.
“Seth.” She struggled to find the right words. He stalked toward the bedroom. She followed. He changed direction. She did the same. Seth walked into the bathroom and slammed the door. She opened it before he thought about locking it.
“I’m not in the mood.”
“I don’t give a shit about your mood.” She pointed at the door. “Your mother is sitting the kitchen.”
“Mama?” Seth stared at her in disbelief.
Tatum lowered her voice as she explained. “She’s been here for a while. Actually, I was leaving when she was at the door.”
He ran his hand through his hair. Tatum watched him lean against the sink. She felt for him. All of a sudden, he wasn’t the arrogant, conceited man who wouldn’t take no for answer. He looked like a kid worried about how his mother would react after hearing some dirty deed he’d committed.
He’s human. He’s afraid of rejection.
Seth exhaled. “She’s here?”
“In the kitchen,” she answered, stroking his hair.
“You were leaving?”
She nodded.
“Thank you for staying.” When Seth approached her, Tatum knew he was going to kiss her. She saw it as a sign. Things weren’t over between them.
Tatum tilted her head back to receive a passionate kiss. She didn’t need to. He gave her a peck on the forehead. She heard the door close. He was meeting his mother. It was her turn to lean against the sink.
Tatum suddenly felt cold. The temperature didn’t drop, just the heat in their relationship. This should have been a moment that strengthened it. He would have chosen her shoulder to find strength. Now she feared he’d found Gabby for this purpose, or someone else. She realized she’d pushed him away for the final time.
She paced in the bathroom before she finally got up the nerve to leave the room. She told herself she was giving Seth and his mother time to be alone. However, she knew she was prolonging the end result. It was her turn to go.
Quickly, she gathered her overnight bag from his room and walked to the kitchen. Her stomach flipped as she heard them laugh. She’d never heard Seth laugh like that. It was such a carefree laugh that it made her sad. Tatum loved a man she didn’t really know.
“Don’t mind me,” Tatum said, not making eye contact. She grabbed her coat and headed for the door.
“Tatum.”
She wasn’t going to stop. She didn’t want to. In fact, her mind screamed not to. Keep going, the dreaded voice told her, you’ll only get hurt in the end. However, Tatum didn’t listen to the voice inside. She turned around. Besides, she had no choice. It was Kate’s voice calling her.
“It was nice meeting you.” Tatum quickly tried to secure her exit.
Kate wasn’t going to make it easy. “My son and I were talking about going to dinner. Why don’t you join us?”
“No,” Seth and Tatum said in unison.
“I insist,” she said, looking from Seth to her.
Seth told her, “I’m sure Tatum’s been around me too long. She needs time to be with people who love her.”
Tatum winced.
“I’m sure Tatum wouldn’t mind a couple hours more.”
“Mama…”
Kate patted his right cheek. “Good. It’s settled. I’ll get my coat.”
The drive was quiet. At Kate’s insistence, Tatum sat in the passenger’s side. She thought he looked more uncomfortable being in the car than she expected. Tatum couldn’t wait to get home. She needed a good cry before she moved on with her life.
“Did you know my son was on the championship basketball team his senior year?” Kate asked Tatum halfway through their dinner at a downtown diner on the corner. Seth’s mother had insisted they go somewhere devoid of fanciness.
Tatum was surprised. She glanced at Seth, who avoided her gaze. “I didn’t know.”
“My son had the big head for at least two months,” she said as she remembered her son at that age.
Seth childishly disputed her account. “Now Mama.”
She patted his hand. “You know I’m still proud of you.”
He grabbed her hand and kissed it. “I know Mama.”
Tatum continued to push her food around, trying to avoid crying. She had never seen such tenderness in Seth before. It was amazing. Now, she loved him even more.
“Miss,” Kate called the waitress over to the booth, “where is the lady’s room?”
The waitress instructed her, then quickly continued on her journey. Tatum watched Seth’s mother leave. She wished she could go with her.
Her stomach flip-flopped. She was afraid to be alone with Seth. He would take any opportunity to end things. So, she decided to beat him to the proverbial punch.
“I’m going to take a cab home. Could you thank you mother for me?” She avoided eye contact.
Seth’s voice was void of all warmth. “I guess you can never stop running?”
“I am trying to give you and your mother some time—”
“You’re trying sidestep another person who likes you.”
“No,” she answered sarcastically. “I’m trying to sidestep someone who hates me.”
“Your words, not mine.”
“How would I know?” she questioned. “You haven’t said anything to me.”
“Hey,” he countered, pointing his index finger at her. “I thanked you for staying with Mama.”
“So what? You act like my presence repulses you.”
Seth dismissed her statement. “I’m not getting into this right now.”
“Wow, somehow that sounds exactly like what I used to say.”
“Maybe we did learn something from each other.”
“I almost got lost.” Kate’s voice stopped Tatum from replying.
The couple went back to the status quo, silence and strained conversation. Tatum wished she was home. Kate continued to carry the conversation. She looked at her son as he drank his orange juice.
Kate questioned, “My son, when are you going to marry this fine young lady?”
Seth nearly choked. Embarrassed, Tatum slouched further into her side of the booth. Kate waited for the answer.
“Mrs. Carter, we…that’s not an option.”
“Mama, let’s talk about this later.”
Kate shrugged. “I don’t know why you two want to string this along. You’re perfect for each other.”
Tatum opened her purse and searched for her wallet. She needed to pay her half of the bill and leave. Kate was trying to get them married when things were terrible between them. Throwing the money on the table, Tatum tried to make her exit.
“I’m sorry, but I really have to go.”
“Take your money,” Seth gruffly ordered. “Dinner’s on me.”
“Keep it,” she suggested. “I’m paying for lessons learned.”
Chapter 18
Tatum tossed and turned for the rest of the night. She’d grown to love Seth’s bed. Now, hers seemed foreign. She missed him. She loved him.
The next day, she felt like hell. At work, she put things in wrong places, called people by the wrong name, and generally drove Adam crazy. By lunchtime, he’d dragged her into his office.
“What the hell is wrong with you?”
“It’s nothing.”
Adam didn’t believe her. “Tatum, I screw up enough. I don’t need you to help me along.”
“I know I’ve misplaced a few things and…”
“Is it Seth?”
“No.”
He shook his head. “It’s Seth.”
“You know, he drives me crazy. I don’t know what to do. I’ve learned my lesson but I’m still paying for it.”
“What lesson?” he questioned as he leaned against his desk. She explained the situation. Afterwards, he commented, “You screwed up.”
“Thanks a lot.”
“You did. He came to you in your hour of need and you chose your family.”
“No, I didn’t.”
“You questioned why it was him instead of your family. It would have been easier to tell him that you resented him.”
“I appreciated what he did.”
“Tatum, you’re ungrateful. I would have left you too.”
She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. He was taking Seth’s side. “Whose friend are you?”
“Right now, I’m wondering. You’re being selfish. What more do you want him to do for you?”
“Is it bad to question my family?”
“You didn’t question your family. You questioned him.”
Tatum countered, “I didn’t mean to. I just wanted to know why he was there and they weren’t.”
“If you need to know that then you are more lost than I thought. He did it because the poor guy loves you.”
“You think he’s right?”
“I know he is.”
“How?”
“This man is about to lose everything he’s worked hard for because of you.”
“How?”
“He…” Adam stopped.
She prodded. “How?”
“You overanalyze everything. Stop doing it before you analyze yourself out of a relationship. He loves you. Be thankful.” Tatum opened her mouth to speak, but he interrupted. “Please pay attention to your work. I can’t afford anymore screw ups.”
Seth didn’t go into the office, choosing to spend time with his mother. They hadn’t talked about the past. He wasn’t going to rush it. In fact, he wanted to ignore the whole mess, but he knew his mother wouldn’t. Sooner or later, they’d have to discuss the past.
“Is breakfast still your favorite meal of the day?”
Seth smiled. He sat down to a home-cooked breakfast. It had been years since he’d enjoyed such cooking. Tatum hated breakfast, so a muffin out of the cabinet was the extent of her cooking for the day’s first meal. He didn’t press the issue. He knew she’d feel obligated to do it.
He answered his mother’s question by stuffing strips of bacon in his mouth. She giggled. Kate joined him at the table and poured some sugar on her grapefruit.
“I always knew that poster of Janet Jackson would get you in trouble one day,” she joked. Seth didn’t laugh. He didn’t respond at all.
Kate sighed. “I don’t have a problem with her color.”
“I know.”
“I have a problem with you.”
Seth looked at her. “What did I do?”
“Son, you love her and you’re pushing her away.”
“Mama, you don’t know the whole story,” he said, then commenced to eat again.
“I know you love her.”
“You need more than love, Mama.”
“Your daddy and I didn’t always see eye-to-eye, but that doesn’t mean we didn’t try to work things out.”
Seth leaned back in his seat. He’d waited years to enjoy a breakfast like this. “Tatum and I aren’t you and Pop. You never had racial issues to contend with.”
“I agree, but your daddy wasn’t Catholic, and your grandparents had a hard time giving their blessing our marriage.”
“Yeah, but that was religion.”
“Yeah,” she mocked him, “but that was love.”
Seth pushed his half-empty plate away. He wasn’t going to get away from the conversation. “I’m tired of dealing with her issues. If she can’t see me for the man I am, then we aren’t meant for each other.”
“Love is about overcoming those issues.”
“Love shouldn’t be this hard,” he told her, frustrated.
“Son, if love comes easy, then it really isn’t love and there is something wrong with the relationship the people in it can’t see.”
Seth paused. “Do you know I stayed with her for weeks while she was sick. What did she do afterward? Wonder why it was me and not her family.”
“I understand you’re hurt,” she tried to comfort him, “but son, she has problems she has to work through. I know it’s not what you wanted to hear, but it’s true. We all want our family to be there when we need them.”
Seth winced. They were approaching dangerous territory. He didn’t look at her. “It doesn’t matter. I’m through trying.”
“Son, maybe that’s the problem. Your daddy and I wanted to control your life just like you’re trying to control hers.”
“That’s not fair.”
“Your whole relationship has been on your timetable. From what I’ve heard, you had one of your daddy’s strong-willed moments. You’ve never let her make up her own mind.”
“I did that because I didn’t want to be a hundred before Tatum realized she wanted to date someone like me.”
“If you loved her, you would have waited, right?”
Wrong.
Of course, he wasn’t going to tell his mother that.
Silence filled the room like a cloud of smoke. Mother and son concentrated on their breakfast. Seth considered what his mother said. Some of it had made sense. Some of it had sounded like an excuse for her behavior instead of Tatum’s.
“Son, learn from your mistakes before it is too late,” she warned him, her voice filled with sadness. “You never know when something you do will permanently change things.”
Seth got the message. She was talking about his father.
Tatum was surprised to see Seth leaning against the apartment hallway wall. He didn’t look arrogant or sorry. He just looked sexy.
She quickly toughened her attitude for the onslaught of pain. “Are you here to give me the key?”
He waited until she opened the door. They both entered, but he stood at the door as if he might need to escape quickly. “I’m here to give you the money you left.”
She couldn’t believe he’d kept the money she’d given him for dinner. “You can have it.”
“I don’t accept charity when I have enough money to start one.”
“That’s not my problem.”
Seth grabbed her arm then put the money in the palm of her hand. “I’m not interested in anything you won’t give freely.”
“I thought you weren’t interested in anything dealing with me.”
“Your words, not mine.”
Now she was frustrated. “Thank you for letting me meet your mother.”
“She enjoys your company. You should call her sometimes. Lord knows, she’s been on my case about you.”
Tatum looked at him. Maybe there was hope. One member of the Carter family was giving her a chance. “Maybe I will.” There was a long silence. “So…,” Tatum struggled to find something to say.
“So…,” he repeated.
Tatum needed to say it. She couldn’t let him leave without finalizing their relationship. “So this is it.”
“If you say so.” His voice became lifeless.
“That’s what you say,” she told him.
The Score Page 20
