“Maybe I should transcribe everything I say. Obviously you have a problem hearing.”
“I understand you’re being a total ass,” Tatum remarked, then winced.
He chuckled. “You know I don’t have the strength for this anymore.”
“I’m not surprised. You obviously can’t handle relationships.”
“Babe, I’m prepared to fight anyone who got in our way. I can’t keep fighting them and you. I refuse.”
“I’m not asking you to fight anybody.”
“No,” he agreed, his voice lifeless again. “You’re demanding I do.”
“You can’t be serious,” she said.
“Tatum, I’m tired of living on a tightrope. No matter what I do, I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t. I can’t win.”
“I chose you. Why am I being punished for that?”
“Listen, I can’t go through this anymore. I love you, but I’m not going to take this bullshit anymore,” he said in frustration.
She stared at him. Tatum couldn’t believe it was over. She didn’t have to hear the words. She saw it in his eyes. “So you’re saying it is over.”
“I’m saying…” He paused, struggling to find the words. “I’m done. I love you, but the next move is yours. If you want us to work, you have to show me.”
“Show you what?”
“That you see me, damn it. That you want to be with me because you love me, your family be damned.”
Tatum began to panic. She couldn’t do what he wanted. She was too afraid of being wrong. He could leave her after she turned her back on her family; his love wasn’t guaranteed. Theirs was. They were family. However, it didn’t stop her from trying to convince him she had already done what he requested.
Tatum placed her hand on his cheek. “What if I already know?”
Seth forced her hand away from his face. “I haven’t seen anything that would suggest it.”
“But I love you.”
“I love you too,” he told her. “But that’s not enough.”
Tatum kissed him. If he wanted her to show him, she would. Her heart soared when he didn’t resist.
Seth deepened the kiss. He pulled her roughly against him. It had been too long for both of them.
Finally, Seth pulled away, stared at her. His eyes glittered with need. His expression didn’t match his stare. It was blank. Seth warned her, “This doesn’t change anything. Sex has never been our problem.”
“I miss you. I need you,” she said, really wanting to show him how much she loved him.
Seth studied her. “Do you understand what I’m telling you? It won’t change anything. It would still be your move.”
Tatum kissed him again. Her body was screaming for his touch. She needed him inside her. Tatum gave him a sultry look before telling him, “I understand. That’s why this is my first move.”
Seth didn’t resist. He grabbed her hand and they walked to the bedroom. She submerged herself in his kisses and touch. She was a woman on love’s death row with a stay of execution. For one night only, he’d be hers.
When Seth entered her it was glorious. She savored every moment he was within her and around her.
Tatum fell asleep in his arms. She had the best sleep in a long time. She loved feeling his kisses through the night. She was surprised when he didn’t wake her for his usual second time.
The birds chirping outside her window was like a rude alarm clock. They wouldn’t stop. Tatum groaned, hoping they hadn’t disturbed Seth.
She reached to the other side of bed. He wasn’t there. Knowing him, she assumed, he was probably making breakfast. Tatum settled for his pillow. She rested her head on it, but something cold kept getting in the way.
She brushed it away. It hit the hard, wooden floor with light thud. Tatum still couldn’t go to sleep. She kept dreaming about the sound. Her mind continued to question why it sounded like a hollow clink.
With a sigh, Tatum gave up on getting extra sleep. She looked over the edge of the bed. Instantly, her heart sank. Seth had left his key on the pillow.
“Are you sure you won’t reconsider settling?”
“Positive.”
Seth stared at Adam. He was eager to have the case behind him, but not that way.
Seth sighed. Now he sat with his lawyer waiting for a settlement conference at the courthouse.
Adam shook his head. “You know where this is going.”
“To court,” Seth replied, not seeing his point.
“The other side wants to settle. The judge wants the same thing.”
“I don’t care what they want. You shouldn’t either. You work for me.”
“You know Tatum wouldn’t be interested in the guy.”
Seth leaned against the wall. “That’s nice.”
“So why don’t you settle this? Is there some other reason you won’t settle? I know Tatum’s the main—”
“Who said anything about Tatum being in this? I didn’t.”
“At the restaurant—”
“Forget the restaurant.”
Adam surrendered. He wasn’t going to try anymore.
They entered the courtroom where there were a couple rows of cushioned chairs. Seth expected to see the judge sitting on the bench. He wasn’t. Ralph was there, sitting on the far side of the room.
The lawyers entered a separate area, leaving them alone. Seth leaned against railing separating the gallery from the court. He stared straight ahead. Ralph, on the other hand, continued to ignore him. He stared at the wheat bushels and sunrise emblem representing Hamilton County that was painted on the wall.
Seth briefly covered his face with his hands. ’t nervous, just pissed. When he couldn’t remain silent anymore, he commented bitterly, “You know you didn’t have to do this. I’ve been good to you. I hired you when no one would give your—”
“What? You gave my black ass a chance?” Ralph said before sarcastically continuing. “I’s thankful that old Massa Seth gave me a chance to be a slave.”
Seth exploded. “Will you stop with the slave talk? You know it wasn’t like that.”
“Do I?” Ralph looked at him for the first time.
“Yes. I’m not like that.”
Ralph leaned forward. “Let’s cut the bullshit. We both know the score here.”
“What is that?” he asked, cautious.
Ralph stood. “You’re getting back at me for Gabby.”
“Gabby,” Seth repeated, insulted. “I don’t give fuck about Gabby.”
“If you want to believe that, go ahead.”
Seth shook his head in disbelief and laughed.
“I know you, Carter. You hate to lose.”
“What the f—” Seth stopped, realizing where he was. “What does that have to do with Gabby? I didn’t lose her. She’s a lovesick bitch.”
This time the black man shook his head. He remarked, “I feel for Tatum.”
“I told you before not to mention her name,” Seth told him forcefully.
Ralph shrugged then said, “You don’t own her. She’s not your slave.”
“Go to hell,” he shouted.
The door opened and Adam popped his head out of conference room. “Gentlemen, can you keep it down?”
Seth waited until the door closed before he remarked, “You’re wrong. This is not about Gabby.”
“Then what is it? Clearly, I had the job—you said so. What happened to change it?”
“Mrs. Rapport was the best—”
“Don’t give me that sh… crap. You know she wasn’t your first choice.”
Seth headed for the door. He couldn’t take it anymore. “I’m out of here. Tell my lawyer I’ll be in the hall.”
Tatum sighed. Normally, she would have escorted Adam and Seth to the conference. Of course, the men used the conflict of interest issue to stop her. She knew they didn’t want her around, so she didn’t press the issue.
She wondered what she was going to do to get him back if Seth wouldn’t even
be in the same room with her. It drove her crazy. He didn’t talk to her. Adam was their go between.
She was lost. He made it impossible to change things between them. He wanted her to ditch her family and trust him. Tatum didn’t have that much faith and didn’t know where to find it.
Then again, she did.
Picking up the phone, she dialed a number she knew by heart. It didn’t take long for the person to answer. After he did, she told him her name. Then said, “I know I haven’t been there in a while, but I want to resume my sessions.”
The receptionist set up an appointment, which she vowed to keep. She knew he didn’t care, but she did. She’d stopped her progress on a whim. She’d thought she was past everything. Now, she knew the truth…she hadn’t even scratched the surface.
Tatum thanked him. She wasn’t paying attention when the office door opened.
She replaced the receiver on the handle and began to breathe again. She was going to get him back.
“I know this sounds crazy, but I’m lost.”
Tatum jumped. She was shocked to see Karla standing in front of the door. She was at a loss for words. She never expected to see her friend again.
“I think I’m supposed to testify at a trial, but I don’t know where to go.”
Tatum acted professional. She turned to her computer and asked, “What’s the case name?”
“I think it’s something like Jenkins versus Carter.”
Tatum stopped typing. She couldn’t believe she was interested in the case. Then again, Karla was probably looking for another account with Seth. She envisioned the two making another deal.
“They are not at trial. They have a settlement conference today.”
“Oh, so they’re going to settle?”
Tatum shrugged, not really waiting to have the conversation. “If everything goes well.”
“Damn,” Karla said, clearly frustrated.
“I don’t know what will happen today, but I can set up an appointment with Mr. Norris. You can talk with him.”
“Who’s that?”
“My boss,” Tatum responded.
“I was told Ralph’s lawyer was a Marcus White.”
Tatum leaned back in her chair. She wanted to get a good look at her ex-best friend. Ralph had nothing to offer her. He couldn’t give her a major account. So why would she testify for him?
“Are you telling me you’re testifying for the plaintiff?”
“Yes,” she answered without shame.
“Ah I see. Seth didn’t offer you enough.”
“It’s not about money. I’m trying to do what’s right.”
“When have you ever thought about someone other than yourself?”
Karla laughed. “Come on girl, this is a joke. You know Seth should have given that man the job.”
“I can’t discuss the case.”
“Girl, I never knew you to be a hypocrite.”
“I’m not.”
“I think you should take a look in the mirror because you are definitely in denial. Obviously, Seth has turned your mind to mush.”
“I’m not discussing Seth with you.”
“I don’t care. Just don’t treat him as a saint. He’s the one who created the deal that ended our friendship, not me.”
Tatum rolled her eyes. She didn’t want to hear this again.
“I’m leaving before I say anything that will ruin your illusion of him.” Karla turned to leave but didn’t. She turned back toward Tatum. Her tone was softer. “I know I was wrong. Every day I wish I would have told you.”
Tatum didn’t believe what she was hearing. Didn’t want to hear it. In fact, it was easier to not talk about it. She wanted to remain angry. It made her feel better.
“I heard you broke up with Seth,” Karla changed the subject.
“I didn’t…” She paused. “It’s a ‘sordid’ tale.”
“I have nothing but time,” Karla remarked.
“Don’t you have to go back to work?”
Karla shook her head.
It didn’t take long for Tatum to realize what had happened. “You were fired.”
“I’d like to say it was a mutual departure.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
“Girl, don’t even act sorry. You’re probably thinking how much I deserved it.”
Tatum smiled. Her friend was right. She didn’t feel any sympathy. “You didn’t deserve to be fired.”
Karla shrugged.
“And I’m no longer with Seth. He broke up with me.”
“I don’t get it. I thought…”
Tatum nodded before she interrupted. “I did break up with him. We got back together and then he left me.”
“Why?”
“Let’s say my family got in the way.”
“Ditch your family.”
“I thought you hated him.”
“I do, but you don’t deserve to be miserable. If they don’t accept you, forget them.”
“I know that, and I have.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
Tatum paused. She couldn’t bring herself to say it. She felt foolish. “I really don’t know.”
“Come on girl, it’s me. I know when you’re lying.”
She surrendered. “He says I don’t trust him enough because I’m throwing my family in his face.” Karla began to speak again. However, Tatum was interrupted by the ringing phone. “I need to take this.”
Karla nodded. She waited, but the call lasted a long time. She waved goodbye and motioned that Tatum should call her. Tatum nodded, but continued to talk to the person.
Tatum tried to feel happy about her re-discovered friendship, but she couldn’t muster up the emotions.
She rushed home after work. She had a sinking feeling that scared her. There was something wrong. She knew it.
She stopped by the drugstore on her way back to the west side of town and hurriedly opened the box as soon as she was inside her apartment. The phone was ringing, but she didn’t care. She drank at least a gallon of water at work. She had to for it to work properly.
Throwing off her heels, she raced to the bathroom. She took the test without reading the instructions. It wasn’t important. Any intelligent woman knew how to use a pregnancy test.
Then she waited. She paced from her living room to her kitchen to the bathroom and then made the loop again. It took forever for the results. She didn’t know what she wanted more: to be pregnant or to have the love her life.
She wasn’t getting any younger, but she always thought she’d have him by her side. He would be so happy. He’d propose to her as soon as he heard the news.
Leaning against the sink, she gathered up the nerve to look at the results.
She was pregnant.
Now she knew which one she wanted more. It wasn’t to be pregnant; she wanted the love of her life.
Gabby threw the stick hard against the edge of the bathtub in anger, and then she had an idea. She was prepared to have the best of both worlds.
“So, what do you want to accomplish this time around?”
Tatum noticed the hint of resentment in her therapist’s voice. She’d been a little sick that morning, but she’d made it to the session. Now, she didn’t know if it was the right decision.
“I want Seth back in my life. I don’t really understand what he wants, but I know I’m scared.”
“Why are you scared?”
“They say family’s forever. I don’t want to give them up.”
“Is he asking you to?”
“Yes.”
“Has he told you specifically it’s him or them?”
Tatum paused. She searched for a moment when he had said it, but she wasn’t sure. “All I know is that he said something like I’m treating him worse than my family.”
“Let me get this straight,” Dr. Bev said after a pause. “You want him back in your life, but you want your family too.”
“Yes.” Tatum finally felt understood.
“Why?”
“I’m scared that…”
Dr. Bev waited for her to finish. She didn’t. Dr. Bev answered her silence with a question. “What are you scared of?”
“I don’t want to choose him over my family only to have him leave me.”
“So you would rather continue suffering traumatic experiences like Thanksgiving than have a chance at love with Seth? If I’m wrong, please correct me.”
Tatum sighed. “Family is always supposed to be there for you. Seth doesn’t have to be. I just don’t want to end up alone.”
Dr. Bev paused. “You know your family is human. And what about your friendship with Karla? Do you feel encouraged with the conversation you had?”
“I don’t care really.”
“Why not?”
“She didn’t have to do what she did. She chose an account over our friendship.”
“How is that different from Seth?”
“He wasn’t my friend. He was out to get what he wanted.”
“How is Karla different from your family?”
Tatum paused, not sure how to answer that. How were they different? Well first, her parents didn’t betray her. They just wouldn’t accept her unless she followed them.
“I trusted Karla.”
“You didn’t trust your family?”
“No. I knew they would hurt me.”
“Then why have someone around who hurts you?”
“They’re family.”
Dr. Bev paused. “Family doesn’t have a free pass to hurt you.”
Tatum opened her mouth to speak, but she stopped. What Dr. Bev said had sunk in. She was allowing her family to abuse her. Tatum had purposefully allowed Karla only one chance before she ended their friendship. And Seth…well, she didn’t even give him a chance to hurt her. Suddenly, she felt foolish.
“All this time I’ve allowed my family to abuse me.”
“Why do you think you did that?”
Tatum thought about it. She didn’t have to think hard. She knew the answer, but it wasn’t easy for her to say. With a sigh, she finally said, “I feel obligated. Family is there to support you, not tear you down. My family’s not supportive in the least, but they are the only thing I know.”
“You know Seth.”
She nodded.
The Score Page 21
