by Nic Starr
But before they could discuss where to go next, Nate’s phone started its familiar ring. Seeing Trish’s name on the display filled him with apprehension.
“Nate, it’s me.”
“Trish, tell me you have some news.”
“I do! Oh my God, Nate, he called me. Jackson called. He’s okay.” The relief was evident in Trish’s tone, her voice choked with happiness. “Did you hear me, hon? He’s all right.”
“I heard, Trish. That’s great news.” Nate looked to Damien and gave him a thumbs-up. Damien fist-pumped the air, and Nate smiled what felt like the first real smile in days.
“He’s in the city, or Surry Hills to be precise. He’s spent the last couple of nights at a youth hostel.”
Nate breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank God. I was so worried imagining him sleeping out on the streets.”
“Imagine how I felt. I’m so glad he had somewhere relatively safe to sleep. But listen, Nate, all his stuff was stolen. His backpack with his spare clothes and his wallet. He basically only has the clothes on his back and his phone, which will most likely run out of charge. I think he’s panicking a bit.”
“I bet he is, poor kid. If you give me the address, I’ll go get him.” Nate patted his chest, his hand automatically reaching for the non-existent pocket and pen. He dropped his hand. A pen wouldn’t have done any good, given he didn’t have a notepad anyway.
“I told him you’re staying at the Hilton. He’s going to make his way there.”
“Shit, Trish. I would have picked him up.”
“I know, hon, but he didn’t want to just sit around and wait.”
“But he’s got to walk through the city alone.” Damien raised a brow as he studied Nate. Nate shrugged, not understanding his sister’s reasoning.
“It’s broad daylight. He’s seventeen. He can walk the few kilometres,” Trish replied.
“Jeez, you’ve changed your tune.”
Trish giggled. “I guess it’s easier to think logically now I know he’s safe. And it is the middle of the day. Anyway, I’ve told him to wait for you in the lobby of the hotel. You’ll call me when you get there?”
“Of course.”
“I’ll speak to you soon, then. And Nate?”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you so much, hon. It means so much to me that you’re there for him.”
“Of course, sis. I wouldn’t be anywhere else.”
“Just so long as you know I appreciate it.”
“I know,” he said.
“By the way, we need to have a big chat when you get home.”
“We do?” He didn’t like the sound of her tone.
“I want to hear all about you and Damien.”
“What? There’s nothing to tell.” He blushed as he glanced at Damien, who was waiting patiently for him to finish the call.
She laughed. “I’ll be the judge of that. Speak to you soon, hon.”
“So it’s good news I assume?” Damien asked when Nate had pocketed his phone.
Nate smiled. “Sure is. Jackson is heading to the hotel as we speak.”
“Where’s he been?”
“He was at a backpackers’ or a youth hostel somewhere in Surry Hills. I’m not sure of the details or what he’s been doing with himself, but apparently he doesn’t have any money. His wallet was stolen. I guess we need to be grateful that he was robbed; it’s forced him to get in contact.”
Damien shook his head with a chuckle. “I guess that’s one way of looking at it.”
“Well, come on, then, let’s go get our boy.”
NATE WAS impatient during the ferry ride back to the city, eager to see Jackson for himself, to make sure he was really okay and not just saying what he thought his mother would want to hear. Although running away had put his mum through hell, Jackson was usually a considerate teenager, and it wouldn’t have surprised Nate if he hadn’t given Trish the whole story.
While the ferry brought them closer to the city centre, Nate made a quick call to Jackson. They kept the conversation brief, but it was reassuring to hear his voice. When the call ended, Nate put his phone back in his pocket and finally relaxed into the seat with a sigh.
Damien nudged his side. “You okay?”
“Yeah. I’m good. Just relieved. I’m not sure whether I want to throttle the kid or give him a big hug.”
“Can I suggest going for the big hug? Getting angry won’t help.”
“I know.” Nate sighed again and sank farther into his seat.
“He’ll need you now. He needs someone to talk to, probably someone who’s not his mother. A father figure. Actually, scrap that. He needs to talk to someone who understands what he’s going through; someone he feels he can open up to.”
The movement of the boat rocked Nate against Damien, their shoulders brushing. Damien stretched one arm out and steadied himself by grasping the seat in front. His other hand was a steady presence on Nate’s thigh. While Damien’s body anchored Nate against the turbulence, his advice provided the assurance that Nate could handle things with Jackson.
“I’m not sure if I’m the best one to give advice.”
“You don’t need to give advice. Not really. You just need to provide a listening ear. He needs to know you support him.”
“There’s no doubt about that. I’d do anything for that kid.” And Nate knew he would do anything, that it wasn’t just a turn of phrase. He’d watched Trish with the kids, seen how strong her parenting instinct was. He had witnessed the stress and pressure she’d been under as she raised her small family, but also the love that surrounded them all. He suddenly wanted that for himself. “Do you ever think about having kids?”
The question obviously surprised Damien, but he didn’t even take a moment to think it over before replying. “I do. I’ve always wanted kids. Why?”
“I guess all this stuff with Jackson has got me thinking.” Nate smiled at Damien. “I think you’d make a great dad.”
“Thanks. I think I would too.” Damien grinned. “And what about you? Do you see children in your future?”
“I’ve thought about it. Maybe adopting, but it’s not something I’d want to do alone. I think Trish has done a great job with the kids, but I’ve always worked long hours.”
“You’re not working as much now.”
“Yeah, you’re right. It was one of my main reasons for moving back to town. Looking for a different pace of life and to spend time with the family.” Nate glanced at Damien. “One step at a time, though.”
“Well, I for one am glad you decided to make a sea change.”
Nate saw the warmth in Damien’s eyes. “So am I, D.”
About thirty minutes later, the relief at seeing Jackson was immense, and Jackson looked equally as grateful to see Nate and Damien. When they walked into the lobby of the hotel, Jackson immediately rose from the lounge where he’d been seated and made his way to them. Jackson sank into Nate’s hug, and Nate held him tight as the boy sniffled quietly against his shoulder.
“It’s going to be okay, Jackson,” he whispered.
Damien rested a hand on his shoulder, the other patting Jackson’s back, as he looked Nate in the eyes. “Yeah, you’re going to be all right.”
Nate liked to think the words were for both of them.
Chapter NINE
DAMIEN HAD gone to get hot drinks and some food from a nearby cafe, giving Nate and Jackson some time alone. Nate pushed aside his longing to have Damien here by his side, and focused on his nephew. It was such a relief to have Jackson safe and sound in the hotel room. The poor kid looked tired and nervous as he sat on the edge of the pristine bed, his shoulders slouched and hands in his lap. “You’re sure you’re all right?” Nate asked. “You would tell me if anything had happened?”
“I promise, Uncle Nate. I’m fine. I’m just pissed off that my stuff was stolen and….” Jackson fidgeted with the hem of his T-shirt.
“And?” Nate prompted.
Jackson met his gaze, his
big blue eyes wary. “Mum’s going to kill me, isn’t she?”
“Killing you may be a little bit strong, but I’d imagine you’ll be grounded for quite some time.” Nate sat down on the bed next to Jackson. “Your mum was worried, mate.”
“I know.”
“You really scared her, and I imagine it’ll take her a while to stop worrying, but she only has your safety and best interest at heart. She’ll be so relieved to have you back home, she’ll likely smother you with love.”
“I was really stupid, wasn’t I?”
Nate nodded. “But everyone makes mistakes. Some are just bigger than others, and this one was a doozy. How about we give her a call now, tell her you’re safe with me? Then we’ll get you something to eat and you can take a shower.”
Jackson didn’t look overly thrilled at the prospect of talking to his mother, but he took the phone Nate offered and reluctantly made the call. Nate gave him some privacy by heading to the bathroom.
The water was cold on Nate’s face. He blotted the moisture with a hand towel and looked at himself in the mirror. The last couple of days spent outside in the sun had left him with a mild flush to his cheeks and forehead, and he had a five-o’clock shadow and dark circles under his eyes, highlighting the slight crow’s feet. He suddenly felt tired—old and exhausted as the stress of the last few days took effect and the adrenaline wore off. He vaguely wondered how much longer Damien was going to give them, wishing he was here to let Nate know he was saying the right things. Oh well, no point putting it off. He hung up the white towel and made his way back to his nephew.
Jackson handed him back the phone. “Mum said to say thanks. She’ll speak with you later tonight.”
“Did everything go okay?”
Jackson shrugged. “I guess so. She wants to have a talk when we get home. I know what I did was wrong. Why can’t she just give me my punishment?”
“I’m not sure she wants to talk about the running away, mate. Most likely she wants to talk about the reasons behind it; what made you leave in the first place.” Jackson looked away. “Hey, look at me.” Once Jackson met his gaze, Nate continued. “When you go home, things won’t be any different. Whatever you were running from will still be there. It’s something you need to deal with.”
Jackson stood and walked to the window. “It’s fine. I made a mistake, that’s all.”
“You know you can talk to me about anything, right? I won’t judge you.”
“I don’t want to talk about it.” Jackson peered at the city street below, and Nate understood his reluctance to broach the delicate subject. At Jackson’s age, Nate would have done anything to avoid having a conversation that was so deeply personal.
“I know you don’t want to talk about it, but sometimes talking helps. A very wise person told me that sometimes you’re best facing things head-on and not trying to hide or run.” And maybe if I’d followed Damien’s advice earlier, some of this whole situation could have been avoided.
Jackson turned around and glared at Nate, anger radiating from his ice blue eyes, suddenly looking a lot older than his seventeen years. “You don’t know anything.” His voice was sharp. “You have a perfect life. Mum always talks about how proud she is of you and how well you’ve done—her brother, the doctor.”
“I might just surprise you.” Nate sighed. “Come over here and I’ll tell you a few things about me you might not be expecting to hear.”
Nate sat in one of the chairs at the small table, hoping Jackson would follow his lead. He smiled when Jackson threw himself into the opposite seat, body stiff and arms folded. At least he was sitting and hopefully prepared to listen.
“Jackson, firstly, I want to apologise to you.”
Jackson’s eyes flicked to Nate, his face showing his puzzlement. “Huh?”
“I haven’t been the best uncle I could be and I certainly haven’t set the best example.”
Jackson huffed and rolled his eyes. “Whatever.”
Nate leaned forward, forearms resting on his knees as he looked straight at Jackson. “I’m serious, Jackson. I mean it. I’m not just yanking your chain. I haven’t been a good example. If I had been, maybe you would have been more comfortable with yourself, or at least been comfortable coming to talk to me about what’s worrying you.”
“I told you, nothing’s worrying me.” Jackson moved to stand.
Nate placed his hand gently on Jackson’s arm where it rested on the table, in an attempt to stop him rising. He just needed a moment more, and once he’d said what he needed to say, he had no doubt Jackson would pay attention. “Just listen. Give me a minute, eh?”
Jackson glared but he didn’t rise from his chair, instead flopping against the seat back as he frowned at Nate.
“I’m gay, Jackson.”
Jackson’s mouth opened in an O.
Nate chuckled. “See? I told you I could surprise you.”
“I… wh… wow. I thought maybe…. Really?”
“Yeah, really.”
“Since when?” He definitely had Jackson’s attention now.
Nate snorted. “Since always.”
“Oh.”
“I’ve known I was gay since before I was your age. It was just something I knew and I’m not exactly sure when I was able to put a label on it. But when the other guys were talking about girls and what they wanted to do with them, I knew I was different.”
Jackson looked pensive as he nodded, but he made no further moves to get up from his seat. If anything, he looked nervous, like he wanted to ask something but didn’t know how to. His mouth opened a few times and he glanced at his hands, where he was twisting them in his lap. Finally, Jackson looked up again.
“So why have you never said anything before?”
“That’s a good question.” A question Nate wasn’t sure he could even properly answer for himself. He’d give it a go, though, honesty being the best policy, especially given how confused he knew Jackson was. “I’ve been a little afraid, I guess.”
“Really?” Jackson looked doubtful.
“Yes, really. Grown men can be scared too, you know.” Nate took a deep breath. “When I was about your age, something happened that made me worry about the effect being gay would have on my life. Well, not my life exactly, more my career. I thought it would be hard to practice medicine, that some people wouldn’t be comfortable with my sexuality.”
“Why wouldn’t they be comfortable? What has you being gay got to do with anything?”
Out of the mouths of babes. A smile touched the corners of Nate’s mouth. “Good point. My sexuality doesn’t impact my ability to do my job as a doctor at all.”
“So what’s the problem, then?”
So easy for Jackson to say, but hadn’t Damien said exactly the same thing? “You know what, mate, I’m not sure there is a problem.”
There was silence for a moment before Jackson asked another question. Jackson’s eyes were wide and glued on Nate. “Does Mum know you’re gay?”
“She does. She’s known since….” He thought for a moment. “Probably since she was about your age, when she was old enough to have a heart-to-heart and to start wanting to meddle in my love life.”
That garnered a small grin from Jackson, who rolled his eyes, no doubt being the recipient of his mother’s questions about dating. He then looked at Nate nervously. “I sort of thought you might be gay, and that Mum knew.”
“Yeah?” Jackson having picked up on something didn’t surprise Nate as much as he thought it would. Kids could be pretty observant, particularly when they were insecure about their own sexuality, and looking around them for role models.
Jackson plucked at the hem of his T-shirt. “You never talked about a girlfriend, and Mum acted all weird about you and Damien. You like him, don’t you?”
Nate understood that Jackson would have a million questions and there would be time for those later. Right now he wanted to get to the heart of the matter for his nephew. “I do. He’s a very good friend. An
yway, this isn’t all about me. Is it?”
Jackson slowly shook his head and started fiddling with the hotel stationery that rested on the small table.
“I thought it might help to talk about the reasons for you running away.”
Jackson depressed the button on the end of the pen marked with the hotel logo. Click. Click.
“I promise you can tell me anything and what we talk about stays between these four walls.”
Jackson raised his head and hesitantly met Nate’s gaze. Nate hoped maybe he was touching on something with the kid, finally getting him to open up and talk. Click. Click. As Nate reached for the pen, Jackson dropped the biro back on the table next to the notebook.
“Did she care?”
Nate tilted his head. “Your mum? Care about me being gay? Not in the slightest. Your mum is the best sister and mother in the world. She just wants me to be happy. That’s what she wants for you too. If you’re happy, then she’ll be happy. It’s simple.”
“So you don’t think she’ll mind?”
“Mind that you’re gay?” Nate needed to say the words, and wanted to hear Jackson say them.
“Uh-huh,” he said hesitantly. “That I’m… gay.”
Nate smiled at Jackson. “There is no way your mum will be angry. In fact, I’m sure she’ll be over the moon when you tell her, grateful you’ve trusted her enough to open up about such an important part of your life. Like I said, she just wants you to follow your dreams and be the best person you can be, and being gay has nothing to do with that.”
Jackson nodded but he didn’t open up any further, chewing on his lip as he either debated what he wanted to say or waited for Nate to keep going. Nate eventually filled the silence.
“I should have been there for you more, Jackson. I’m sorry you didn’t have anyone to talk to and felt you had to go through this alone. Is there anything you want to talk about? Like why you felt you needed to run away? Your mum mentioned something about trouble at school.”
