Unspoken Memories (Unspoken Series)

by Gabbie S. Duran

  I laugh at his lack of clothing. “Matt, why is it you always choose to join me like you’re ready to do a Calvin Klein shoot?” I lightly tease him.

  He’s wearing nothing but black boxer briefs and every single one of his defined muscles is glistening from the sun shining in from the French doors to my right. He scratches his chest with his right arm, yawning, and starts stretching his left arm into the air as he’s walking in my direction.

  Once he’s finally reached me, he gives me a light affectionate peck on the cheek, “Good morning, Em.” Then he sits in the chair next to me.

  He folds his arms on top of the counter in front of him, and then lays his head on them, facing in my direction. He still has sleepy eyes and is constantly blinking himself awake. It’s hysterical to me that no matter how tired he is, he’ll still wake up early in the morning to spend time with me.

  Beaming with pride, I proceed to make small talk, “So, how are things with you and your girl?” I curiously want to know.

  He sits there, quiet, without an answer, but his frown is obviously answering the question for him.

  I reach over to touch his shoulder. “Did you guys break up again?” I know that their relationship could be compared to a Ping-Pong game. They were always breaking up, and then making up.

  He takes in a very deep breath before saying, “Yup, we decided that maybe this time we should take a long enough break to let ourselves see other people.” He ends the last of the sentence in a low whisper.

  I sympathetically sigh, “Well, maybe this is a good thing. I do think you guys should see other people. You never know, you might end up finding the girl you really want to marry,” I plead.

  He lifts up his head while shaking it. “No Em, she’s the one I plan to marry. I love her, she owns my heart and no matter how hard someone else tries, they’ll never get it. I promise you Em, she’s the one, and if it takes me giving her time to realize it then I’ll just have my fun while I wait,” he says, shrugging his shoulder.

  My heart sinks a little knowing he’s jumping to conclusions about the whole situation, but not wanting to be judgmental. “Are you sure that’s what you want?”

  He nods his head. “Yeah. I’ve already decided that’s what I want to do.” He finally perks up, “Don’t worry Em, I’ll be careful. You’re not going to unexpectedly become an aunt. She’s the only one who is going to be popping out your nieces or nephews when the time comes.” He smiles.

  I hold out my arms to embrace him and upon wrapping himself to my body I say, “Whatever makes you happy Matt, just remember that I’m always here for you no matter what.” I squeeze him harder to emphasize my meaning.

  I feel someone place a hand on my shoulder and it draws me from the memory. I don’t know how long I was blacked out, but as I take in everyone’s expressions they don’t seem to realize that I was somewhere else. I let go of Laura’s hand and fold my hands in front of my waist.

  I see Trey finally make his way over to us saying. “Oh good, Matt’s girlfriends are playing nice with each other. I thought I was going to need Julio’s help in keeping supermodel here from pounding the lights out of Laura.” He hooks his thumb in my direction.

  All our heads snap to Trey’s and I give him my signature “I’m going to kick your ass” look before Kelly whacks him on the arm.

  “What did I say?” he asks totally confused and rubs his shoulder.

  “I’m sorry but I really have to go,” I say, looking down at my phone to emphasize my point. “I have a meeting upstairs with Paul in 15 minutes.”

  Matt looks torn between Laura and me. “Oh yeah. Is it okay if you go alone to the meeting, Abigail? I want to catch up with Laura.” He gives me a pleading look.

  Even though I feel hurt right now with his plea, I know I have to ignore my jealousy and trust Matt. “Sure, I’ll catch up with you later,” I say to him, before turning to Laura to say, “It was a pleasure finally meeting you.” I wave bye to her as I walk away.

  She waves back, then turns to Matt and begins cheerfully speaking to him. I hate the feeling that is boiling inside me as I’m walking away from them. I have to force myself since I know that I’m leaving Matt with the only girl he’s still harboring feelings for.

  After my meeting with Paul to go over the security clearances for Matt and Julio, and going over all the details needed about when to arrive and how the race is run, I leave for my own hotel room taking time to try to relax.

  It’s been two hours since I left Matt and he still hasn’t texted or called me and I’m starting to freak out. I kept checking my phone during the meeting in hopes that Matt would have changed his mind, but I was disappointed. Not knowing what the hell is going on, I finally force myself to push the negative feelings aside, and we start planning where we are going for dinner.

  Finally choosing a restaurant on Fisherman’s Wharf, Trey sends a text off to Matt to meet us there, but when we arrive he has a guest in tow. Great, she’s even having dinner with us tonight. I tell myself to put my big girl panties on and play nice. The last thing I need is to go ape shit on her in the middle of a restaurant.

  Kelly and Julio see the tension that is coursing through my body and between the two of them they try to lighten me up. But seeing her sitting next to Matt at our table drives me crazy. I want to know what is really going on between them.

  They look like old friends just catching up, but knowing that this girl is the reason why Matt fought so hard to avoid another serious relationship, only fuels my anger.

  I try to carb load for my race the next day, but my appetite was shot the minute I saw them walk in together. I want to go back to the hotel already. I end up having two glasses of red wine that I know I shouldn’t have had, but I desperately needed them. As I ordered the first glass in hopes that it would help relax me, Matt tried reminding me that I had a race the next day, but I ended up snapping at him to shove it. After the look I gave him, he backed off, turning back to Laura to make conversation with her. Even the rest of the table didn’t challenge me after that little scenario.

  I ordered the second glass when I overheard Laura make a comment to Matt that since I was a supermodel it must be normal for me to always be so high strung. She even added that I must have been paying him really well for him to put up with my attitude. It only pissed me off even more when Matt didn’t defend me.

  If it weren’t for Kelly grabbing my hand under the table reassuring me of her support, I would have walked away from the table. I was surprised with how well I was behaving about the situation. We finally wrapped up dinner and I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. It looked like the hounds of hell were trailing me. At this point, I was proving just how high strung I could be, and I didn’t give a shit anymore. To say I was jealous of this girl was a major understatement. I envied her. She owned something that I had wanted since the day I met Matt. His heart. With all the attention he was giving her, it was written all over his face how much she still had control over it.

  We finally made it back to the hotel, minus Laura, thankfully, because even I wouldn’t be able to control myself if she would have followed. Once inside the hotel room I couldn’t control my temper anymore, especially with the wine coursing through me, giving me the courage I needed.

  As I hear the door click behind the last person, I turn around to face Matt. “So what the fuck is she to you now Matt? Are you guys back together?” I shout at him.

  Everyone freezes up with a look of shock and awkwardness, not knowing whether to stick around for the show or walk away. But of course they choose to stay and take in the show. At this point I don’t care if we have the whole city watching us. I wanted an answer for him… right now… right at this moment.

  Matt’s eyebrows draw in and you can tell he’s trying really hard to control his temper. “I don’t know what you’re talking about Abigail,” he claims, standing his ground in front of me.

  “Oh, so now we’re back to using Abigail again, are we? Fine, I know whe
re I stand when it comes to that shit, but I’m telling you right now… Matthew. You better make up your fucking mind before you board that plane tomorrow, because I’m keeping my part of the deal. I refuse to become one of your fuck buddies, so… help… me… if you screw me over, I will walk out of your life, and never look back,” I say as I stomp away from him, into my chosen room. I slam the door behind me with all the force that I can muster.

  I lock the door right away and go straight to the bathroom so I can take a shower. It’ll give me a reason to ignore anyone who tries to knock on the door.

  I stand under the streaming hot water for a very long time, letting the heat of the water beating down on me take the tension away from my body, wishing it would take me down the drain with it.

  After a while I finally start washing up, knowing that I have to get to bed. As I’m shaving my legs for the next day I notice something on my inner left thigh, up very close to my vagina. It’s a reddish-purple mark.

  My eyes go wide in shock when I realize what it is. It’s a huge fucking hickey.

  I groan in irritation, leaning against the cool tile of the shower for support. I realize no matter how much I try to push him away, my body will always have a way of knowing that it belongs to Matt. I’m fucking screwed.

  I WAKE UP the day of the race, feeling physically and mentally like shit. I hadn’t gotten much sleep, both from nerves and from thinking about the night before. I wanted so badly to go to Matt and just curl up next to him, letting his arms take away the pain I was feeling in my heart, but of course I didn’t. He was the reason why I was feeling like this.

  He didn’t try coming into my room either. I would have expected him to try knocking on my door and pleading his case, but it didn’t happen. Which worried me more. Instead, the hotel room ended up being very quiet, leaving me to my thoughts for most of the night. The gang decided to go out, where I do not know, I never asked. I did hear them walk back into the room at around two a.m., probably from round two of Matt’s birthday weekend.

  At around five a.m. I heard a knock at the door and although I was expecting it, my body tensed up in anticipation of Matt.

  I was surprised when I opened the door to see a sleep deprived Kelly, who looked like she’d had another bad night. Letting her in, I shut the door behind her.

  “Hey sweetie, you ready for your big day?” she says to me almost in a whisper. I know she’s doing it more for herself.

  I chuckle and respond, “Not really, but I have no choice, right?”

  I begin to look for the outfit I had planned on wearing and get dressed, while Kelly walks over to the bed and sits against the headboard. Taking a pillow in her arms, she looks at me with an interested look. “What do you mean you have no choice, I thought you wanted to do this?”

  I automatically correct her analysis of my response. “I want to run this race, but my body is not feeling so good right now. It actually feels how you look,” I say, giggling at her.

  She lets out a small groan. “Trust me, last night didn’t help. We ended up going downstairs to the bar. I’m still paying for Friday night, so I should have just stayed away,” she says, forcing a smile on her face.

  Her smile turns to a frown a couple of seconds later. “David told me you took care of me Friday night. I never got a chance to thank you by the way,” she says, tightening her arms around the pillow.

  I walk over to the bed and sit in front of her, looking her in the eyes. “You would have done the same thing if it were me, so you don’t have to thank me at all.”

  She looks down at her knees. “But I feel really bad about interrupting what was happening between you and Matt,” she whispers. “I finally remembered most of the night yesterday and I’m really sorry.”

  My eyes go wide, wondering how in the world she remembered what she saw, as wasted as she was. “I’m glad you interrupted us, if not, a lot more would have happened, and I have a feeling I would have a lot more regret than I already do this weekend.”

  We both sigh and sit there looking at each other sympathetically. I guess more for myself than anyone else.

  “How far did it really go?” she asks with her mischievous smile.

  This makes me chuckle at her, knowing that she’s not going to like my response. “The usual tease and feel,” I say to her, watching her face turn to a scowl. “You sort of stopped us right as we were about to start the act. I guess it’s not meant to happen if people keep interrupting us.”

  Kelly throws her hands up in the air in exasperation and groans again. “I swear, you guys dance around having sex like a pair of animals trying to decide if they’ve found the right mate.”

  I laugh at her analysis of Matt and me. Although she did have a point about the animal part, every time Matt came near me my body responded like a female in heat. Damn my traitorous body.

  We both hear another knock on the door and I know who it is. Since it wasn’t him the first time, it definitely has to be him this time, so I get up to go open the door.

  The first thing I notice about Matt as he walks in is that he looks worse than Kelly, and I can tell he hasn’t had a shower. He’s wearing only his basketball shorts and nothing else. That’s surprising since his normal choice of sleepwear is usually only his boxer briefs. But as I take in his smell, I scrunch my nose. He reeks of the alcohol leaving his pores. When he sees me, his eyes become hooded as he takes in my body. He eyes me from head to toe with a light smile.

  Even in the condition that he’s in, my body instantly responds and I want to run my hands all over his body. I tense up and keep my hands on the door. I grip it for dear life, trying to keep myself from reaching out to him. I look over at Kelly trying to distract myself as she’s standing up from the bed. Her face lights up and she just smiles at me, as if she is proving her earlier assessment of us.

  Dammit.

  Pushing my negative thoughts aside, I decide to head into the living room instead, following Kelly. I notice Julio ready and reading the newspaper at the breakfast bar with a cup of coffee and all the usual goodies that I eat before a race.

  He hears me walk in and looks up from his newspaper. “Matt arranged for your breakfast to arrive early this morning so you’d have time to digest it,” he says in an approving way.

  “Of course he would, that’s his job, he’s my assistant, remember?” I say sarcastically, taking a piece of toast with peanut butter on it.

  His face shows concern. “What’s really going on with the both of you Abigail?” he bravely asks.

  “I don’t know. I thought that he was over her and was willing to give us a chance, and bam, she shows up, making him push me aside for her.”

  Julio tilts his head to the side, while folding the newspaper. “Is that what you think he did? Push you aside?” he curiously asks.

  I stop to take in his question. “Well, the kiss she gave him when she saw him proved that she still has something simmering for him. I know I wouldn’t go up to Bill and kiss him like that if I saw him again. Then he blew off the meeting with Paul and brought her to dinner with us,” I say, stating my case.

  I sigh. “I don’t know. I just finally grew happy thinking that we were going to take the next step, but I guess I jumped to conclusions.”

  Julio’s face grows serious. “Look Abigail,” he begins, “I’m a guy, and so I can at least tell you this. The way that boy is with you, proves that you’re more than a casual fling. I think the both of you are too afraid to admit your feelings for each other and it’s not helping in this situation.”

  I think back to the other night. “Julio, how much did you see the other night?” I ask him.

  He smiles. “Enough to know that you guys need to take care of that craving soon before it drives you insane,” he says chuckling, and then he corrects himself. “Don’t worry, I didn’t actually see anything, but you are a very vocal girl when it comes to praising him,” he says before standing up.

  I stand there blushing all over my body, straight down
to my toes.

  As I’m finishing my breakfast, I notice Matt stepping out of my room with only a towel wrapped around his waist, his body still a bit damp from his shower. He walks over to his bag, picks it up and takes it back into the room with him before he shuts the door again. I swear he must do these things on purpose to torture me.

  Great, all I want to do now is stomp my ass over to that room, walk in, lock the door behind me, and prove to Matt that he doesn’t need Laura anymore. But instead I sit there trying to calm the inferno of want burning through my veins. No, I don’t need this shit today. I need to focus on my run, that’s what is important right now.

  An hour later, Matt, Julio, and I are piling into the elevator heading downstairs to the start line. I know it’s going to be about an hour of waiting around, then no more than another three to finish the race. We leave the rest of the gang to catch up on their sleep. Right now I’m so jealous of them. If it wasn’t for all the adrenaline and nerves coursing through my body, I would be falling over next to them from lack of sleep.

  As we near the VIP tent at the start line, I begin to get excited and can’t wait to start and just get it over with. My nerves are scattered everywhere so I start listening to music, hoping it will help calm and relax me.

  Usually I wouldn’t listen to music before a race, in fear that I would run the battery down on my phone. Since I refuse to run without music I chose to use a shuffle this time, so I won’t have the weight of my phone on my arm. So here I was losing myself to the bass pounding in my ears.

  It also helped to distract and shut out the eyes that were staring at me as I waited around. I was standing in a tent with a bunch of elite runners who do this for a living, but the only reason I was getting the same treatment as them was because of my celebrity status. It made me feel like I wasn’t worthy to stand here with them, so I needed to find a happy zone and focus on that. I was here for my own purpose. I wanted to beat that three and a half hour mark, and with these hills that San Francisco is famous for, I knew I had a challenge ahead of me.