Unspoken Memories (Unspoken Series)

by Gabbie S. Duran

  As it grew near the start time, the elite runners began to exit the tent to go warm up and I followed to watch them line up. On the way, Matt couldn’t resist giving me the usual advice for the race.

  “Now remember, Abigail, you have to pace yourself. You’re starting after the elite runners, in the second corral with very fast runners. Don’t try to keep up with the starting racers’ pace, they always start off too fast from the adrenaline and then burn out at the wall.” The wall being the famous 20-mile mark I was not looking forward to.

  “Remember to breathe and keep to yourself. The good thing is since you’re starting early there won’t be too many people in front of you to make your way around. This is an advantage to your time, which will help once you hit those hills. Just remember, one step at a time when you’re taking the hills. Don’t push yourself too hard, or you’ll burn out. Push your body forward, like you practiced and be careful coming down them, you don’t want to injure yourself going too fast.”

  He looks around at the crowd. “Let yourself get lost in the crowd cheering you on, it will help distract you, since I can’t be there with you,” he says with a look of disappointment. “But, I’ll be waiting for you here at the finish line as you cross it, so remember not to keep me waiting too long,” he says with a smile.

  I feel Julio touch my arm and begin to push me in the direction of the start line. I give him one last hug, before thanking him for training with him. Then I look over at Matt, and he also gives me a hug, but he doesn’t let go of me right away. He just holds me tightly to his body, and says into my ear, “Good luck, beautiful,” before kissing me below my ear, sending a jolt through my body.

  I hand Matt my phone as they both leave me to walk the rest of the way by myself since they can’t actually stand with me in the line. Instead, I see them make their way to the other side of the gates where I can still clearly see them. I adjust my shuffle to my body, plugging in my earphones, and start to lightly bounce in place, pumping myself up to start.

  As I hear the first gunshot that signals the start for the elite runners, I begin to get very nervous. After a couple of seconds, they move my corral up and my nerves are streaming rapidly through my blood. Since I’ve chosen to stay to the outside of the group, I’m closest to the crowd and I begin to hear people saying my name, cheering me on. I can’t resist smiling and it takes all my nerves away. I get my body ready and when I hear the gunshot, I take off with my group.

  We leave the start line, running through the streets that are surrounded by the historic buildings of Union Square. We turn the corner of Montgomery and Post, and the excitement of the crowd takes me away to another world. It stays like this and I notice what Matt meant by the other runners starting off fast. I can feel myself trying to push harder to keep up with them, and it’s only the beginning.

  As we hit mile four, I allow myself to slow down and take in the scenic view of the ocean to my right. Even though they start to pull ahead of me a little, I just keep myself focused on the music entering my ears and distract myself as best as I can with the crowd lining the course.

  It isn’t until after the fifth mile that I begin to feel the first hill sneaking up on me. I knew it was fairly close to the beginning of the course, but I don’t actually see it, so much as feel it under my feet as I climb the elevation. My body starts to slow down from the force that I have to put into placing one foot in front of the other. I simply follow Matt’s advice and push my body to lean forward. Those damn training hills he put me through have nothing on this sneaky bastard. At least I saw them up ahead as I was running them and was prepared. This one sneaks up on your ass.

  Then just as fast as I feel the pull, I begin to feel the downgrade of the hill and try to slow myself down. It doesn’t last too long because as I start enjoying the break, I feel the increase again. I have to keep chanting to myself: Earn the downhill, earn the downhill, it’s just up ahead. If you don’t get up and over this hill, you won’t get to go down. I hope that it will distract me completely.

  It continues like this for the next hour and my body starts to feel like it wants to give up. I see more and more mile markers whizz by me, helping me to keep going. I’m more than halfway into the race and I’m keeping a really good pace. I start to feel my infamous wall coming up ahead as I’ve passed the marker for the 19th mile. But I’m surprised when I see my friends standing in plain view with signs up ahead.

  Kelly’s sign says, “Kick this race’s ass Abi.”

  Trey is holding a sign saying, “Earn your fucking beer supermodel.”

  But, the one that makes me almost stop in my tracks and brings a huge smile across my face is David’s. He’s holding a sign that says, “Don’t give up beautiful. I’m waiting for you!”

  I just wave to my friends with watery eyes, and push past my wall.

  I’ve timed my playlist to start playing songs that will help push me. Disturbia starts to blast into my ears and the beat is what I need right now as I dig deep and push my body. I slowly start to increase my speed and watch the signs go by one by one. I finally reach the 23rd mile and I give it my all, knowing I’ve only got three more miles to go and I could easily run this with my eyes closed. I turn down my shuffle, allowing the screaming crowd to push me to the end.

  As the course starts to become a straight line I dig even deeper, begging my legs to pick up the pace and then I see the crowd start to become fuller. Knowing the finish line is within reaching distance, I start sprinting the last 1.2 miles. At this point my legs are burning, my chest is digging for air, but I ignore the pain and tell myself it will all be worth it when I’m done.

  Then I see it, the finish line clock. It reads 3:23:32 and I’m thinking to myself, there is no fucking way I’m letting this race beat me, and try to speed my legs up even faster. As I’m crossing the finish line I see Matt and Julio on the other side and I keep running past the guys in tuxedos and straight into Matt’s body, forcing him to catch me as I jump up on to him. Wrapping my legs around his waist, one arm around his neck, I throw my other fist up into the air in triumph. I’m beaming from ear to ear with my smile, with the crowd cheering loudly around me. I look down at Matt and he’s just as proud of me as I am myself. I wrap my other arm around his neck hugging him for dear life, still wrapped around his body. I don’t want him to ever let me go.

  I finally feel someone tap me on the shoulder and I turn to face one of the guys in the tuxedos, holding a finisher’s medal in his hands. I unwrap my legs and arms from around Matt, as he lowers me to stand on the ground. Once the tuxedo guy is done hooking the medal over my neck, he places a kiss on my lips saying, “Congratulations on your race, Abigail.”

  Matt isn’t too happy about this and glares at the guy ready to kill him, making Julio pull him back a little distance. I ignore Matt and say to the guy, “Thank you,” as I hug him and give him a big smile.

  Take that, Matt. How does it feel to see me kissing someone else? I think to myself as I start to walk away, going to get my well-deserved snacks with the other runners.

  As I’m chugging my chocolate milk I see a women walk right up to me.

  “Ms. Adams, my name is Rebecca. I’m with Women’s Running World magazine and we would love to do an interview of you to feature in an upcoming issue,” she says while holding her card out to me.

  Matt takes it and looks down at it, concentrating on the card in his hand, but I keep looking at her, considering her offer before saying, “I would love to.”

  She smiles and says, “Good. I’ll keep in touch. I have your assistant’s information that I got from Paul,” she says looking at Matt, “but if you need to contact me sooner my cell number is also on the card. Thank you, and congratulations on your qualifying time. I can’t wait to see you run Boston,” she states and shakes my hand before disappearing into the crowd.

  This is when it hits me. “I made my time!” I shout at Matt, making him and Julio laugh loudly.

  I had totally forgotten about my
time as I crossed the finish line. We finally leave the crowd and make our way back to our hotel room where the cheering trio is waiting for me when I walk through the door.

  Kelly throws herself at me, giving me a tight hug. Then Trey comes next, picking me up as usual, swinging me around in a circle. I look over at David and smile remembering his sign.

  “Thanks for the signs you guys, I really needed them at that moment,” I say with a thankful smile.

  That must have reminded Trey of my beer because he runs over to the mini fridge pulling out my favorite beer, twists the cap off, and hands me the bottle. I take it from him and instantly take a drink, savoring the taste. Damn right I earned this beer, I think to myself as I groan into the bottle.

  Everyone laughs and they start drinking along with me. After finishing my beer and taking my ice bath for my legs, I finally take the nap that my body is so desperately craving. The only thing missing is Matt’s body next to mine as I drift into peaceful sleep.

  I END UP sleeping until early afternoon, my body finally catching up with its much-needed sleep. When I wake up, I take a shower and get ready for our early dinner. As we are heading to the exclusive restaurant where Matt arranged for us to eat, I keep beaming from the excitement of the day. I’m so happy. I feel like nothing in the world could bring me down at this moment. However, that all changes as we enter the restaurant. I see Laura standing near the hostess podium and she lights up when she sees us enter.

  I stop walking and Matt crashes into me from behind. I whip my head around to glare at him with a very confused look. He didn’t mention inviting her, what is she doing here?

  Julio walks past us and up to the hostess to inform her we are ready to be seated, probably trying to get us to our table as fast as possible to avoid a confrontation at the entrance.

  Matt sympathetically looks at me. “I’m sorry. I forgot to mention that I invited her yesterday when I had lunch with her,” he says, looking frantically from her to me. “If you want, I’ll ask her to leave?”

  I look back at her and she’s still beaming, looking straight at Matt. “No. I’d hate to be a high-strung bitch and ask your guest to leave,” I say to him, allowing our little group to be the only ones to hear my response.

  Kelly steps up beside me, hooking her arm into mine, tugging me forward to follow the hostess as she leads us to the table. I had requested that Matt reserve a private room for us so we could have enough space for all of us and not draw a crowd if we decided to get loud, as we usually did.

  Once we’ve reached our table, Kelly as usual, takes a seat beside me. But as I’m walking I tug on Trey’s arm and pull him to the seat next to me, leaving Matt across from me and confused. It only makes Laura happier since it leaves him to take the seat next to her.

  I just sit there, ignoring my menu and stare daggers at Matt. He notices and tries to rub my leg with his. When I feel him, I end up kicking him in the shin causing him to jerk his leg up, hitting his knee against the table. The glasses on the table begin to rattle and everyone is wondering why.

  Kelly looks at me curiously and I whisper into her ear about what just happened, causing her to throw her head back, laughing loudly. Matt just glares at Kelly and she sticks her tongue out at him, still leaving everyone else at the table wondering what the heck is going on. I finally allow myself to focus on the menu, feeling better about the situation in front of me.

  “So Abigail, I heard about your qualifying time this morning. Congratulations by the way. But I saw the time online and noticed that you only made it by like seven minutes. I thought with all the hype they were giving you, you’d be a lot faster,” she says in a condescending tone, before she takes a sip of water.

  I sit there praying she chokes on her water. “I was only aiming to qualify, not run with the elite. All the hype they gave me wasn’t as big as I thought. Being that I didn’t actually start with the elite, it shouldn’t take a brain surgeon to figure out I wasn’t one.”

  Obviously she doesn’t like my response. “Yeah, but with the weeks leading up to the race, that’s all they kept talking about, you aiming to make the qualifying time. I thought it was kind of unfair how it outshone the important runners.”

  I want to jump over the table and rip her hair out. Why in the hell am I letting this short little bitch get to me? As I’m about to give her a piece of my mind David speaks up.

  “The whole point of Abigail running this race was for her to have a chance to qualify for Boston, which she did,” he forcefully states. “If everyone else blew it out of proportion against her will, she has no control over that.”

  At this moment the waiter shows up to take our order and I’m thankful for it. As we are placing our orders, I’m forced to sit there, ignoring Laura making googly eyes at Matt. Needing to distract myself, I turn to face Kelly to talk about the race. I tell her about the hills and how I kept chanting to myself, and I notice that Laura keeps interrupting us by adding her two cents as well. Like, “Oh yeah, I thought those hills would kill me too.” And, “I love how the crowd comes out and cheers everyone on.” It’s like she was purposely paying attention to my conversation and trying to outdo me.

  I look at Matt, wondering why he doesn’t tell her to shut the hell up, but he’s looking very uncomfortable, almost as if he wants to bolt for the door. Normally I would have felt sorry for him, but being that he’s the reason why I’m stuck in this situation I simply sit there glaring at him.

  The food finally arrives allowing me to focus on my food and giving me a reason to keep my mouth shut. The guys, including Julio, who I insisted last night start sitting at the table along with us, start talking about football. Since it was something that I hear every day at home, I decided to shut them out.

  “Whoa Abigail, that is a lot of food. Aren’t you worried about your weight if you eat like that?” Laura asks, eyeing my steak and lobster. “I thought models rarely eat and when they do, they stick to salads?”

  Matt finally speaks up to defend me by saying. “Abigail runs a lot, and whatever she eats gets burned off anyways.”

  Laura frowns at Matt. “Wow, lucky you. I have to constantly watch what I eat, but of course not everyone is as lucky as you to have that body. Are you sure it’s only the running that keeps the weight off?” she asks, glancing over at Matt.

  I take a deep breath, using every ounce of control, as I grab for my glass of water. Trey snaps at her, “Shut the hell up Laura. Just ‘cause you want to get back into Matt’s pants doesn’t mean Abigail is wanting the same.”

  I practically choke on my water, making me cough for air. Kelly slaps me on the back to help me catch my breath. The only thing that’s been in his pants is my hand. It was nice of Trey to stand up for me, but he knows damn well how badly my body really wanted Matt. By the way he worded it, he made it seem like I had already gotten in.

  This obviously upsets Laura and she stands up. “I have to go to the bathroom, I’ll be right back,” she snaps at us, throwing her napkin on the table.

  By the look on her face, I really doubt she has to pee, but I don’t blame her for wanting to get away from this table at this moment, that was exactly what I wanted to do, but she beat me to it. What pisses me off is that Matt stands up after her and begins to follow Laura away from the table without saying a word.

  We all sit there at the table in silence for a couple of minutes trying to avoid bringing up what just happened. Then I realize that I really do have to pee. I had constantly kept drinking water to keep the hurtful words that I wanted to throw at Laura from spewing from my mouth. Plus, the waiter does his job so well. He kept refilling my glass. Great, now it’s going to look like I’m purposely trying to follow them.

  I give it a couple of more minutes, but after squirming in my seat, I’m about to pee my pants. I inform Julio that I have to go to the bathroom and he nods his head and stands up with me, making our way to the bathroom after asking our waiter in which direction to walk.

  As we begin to near
the doors I see a small corner leading to what must be a storage room and instantly spot Matt and Laura closely facing each other. They’re clearly still speaking, but I see Laura suddenly reach up to wrap her arms around Matt’s neck, pulling him down towards her.

  As Matt allows himself to be pulled down, my breathing hitches to a stop. My heart feels like it has stopped beating completely and has dropped to the pit of my stomach. I simply stand there, paralyzed, not being able to move at all. When I see their lips meet my body feels like it’s been completely drained of life. I gasp without realizing that I had made a sound with it.

  I’m quickly pulled back. My body is being forced to move, and the only thing I can do is allow it to be led away. When I’m finally able to bring myself back to reality, I feel Julio’s large body next to mine, his arm wrapped around my waist, walking alongside me.

  I realize he’s leading me away, and the shock has finally abandoned by body. I start to understand that he’s leading me back to our table and I already know I don’t want to be here any longer.

  At this point I forget all about needing to go pee and when we reach our table I start to silently cry, letting the tears trickle down my cheeks. I urgently start looking for my purse under the table, grabbing it, ready to bolt to the door.

  Kelly takes one look at me. “What’s going on Abigail?”

  I shake my head, sniffling my tears up, and turn to head out of the restaurant. We leave them there, wondering what is wrong with me.

  As we reach outside, Julio is about to call for the hired car, but I stop him, stating that they’re going to need it to get back and I start to flag down a taxi. I’m relieved when one stops right away. We climb in, Julio informs the taxi driver of our hotel and we make our way there.

  A minute later I start to hear about a teenage dream singing from my purse and I sit there ignoring it. It stops and then starts up again, this time Julio takes the purse from me, digging around until he finds it. He pushes the ignore button on the top of the phone and then promptly turns it off, before placing it back into my purse. I was so grateful he did. Right now Laura was the one enjoying Matt’s teenage dream, and the last thing I wanted was to be reminded of it.