by Brie Paisley
“You keep on talking shit. Whatever makes you feel better about losing.”
I laugh as we walk inside the bowling alley. I hold the door open for her and ask, “Why are you always so competitive?”
“I don’t like to lose, Carter. You know this.” She’s right. From the moment we started becoming friends, I noticed how she had to be the best at everything she did. It didn’t matter if it was just us hanging out, and doing our normal gaming night, she had to win. I didn’t really understand why she thought she had to be the best, but I have a feeling it has something to do with her parents. I never really asked, knowing it’s still a sore subject to bring up. Not to mention every time I tried to get her to open up, she would get defensive, and would say she didn’t want to talk about it. I learned quickly not to bring it up again.
I don’t comment on what she says, as we make our way to the front counter and reserve a lane for us. I stand behind Bethany as she gives the size of her bowling shoes to the cashier, and I take a look around. This is my first time here, and I can already tell this will be a new spot for us to hang out at. The vibe is laid back, yet it’s exciting. It’s just like any other bowling alley, except it’s a huge building. They have twenty-four lanes and over half are already occupied. The lights are dim, but they have colorful flashing lights making the alley seem multi-colored, plus it’s eye catching. They have Hotline Bling by Drake playing over the speakers, and it’s hard not to bob my head to the beat.
Bethany grabs her shoes, and I step up to the counter to do the same. After we’re set to get started, we head to our lane. We sit in the chairs by our lane, as we put on our bowling shoes, and I look up when I see someone moving in front of me. “Finally decide to show up, Cas?”
“Yeah, had to close up the gym, and since Beth is always last minute telling anyone plans, it was unavoidable.”
“Like you had any plans made,” Bethany says, and I laugh when Cason flips her the bird. Cason sits down and begins to lace his bowling shoes. I don’t know about Bethany, but I’ve always known the difference between Caden and Cason. Even if they’re identical twins, they couldn’t be any more different than they are. I finish lacing my shoes, and I sit in the chair in front of the small keyboard to put in our names on the score-board.
I put in all our names, but before I finish, I turn to Cason to ask, “Heard anything from, Caden?”
Cason adjusts his hat, turning it backward before he responds. “Yeah, he said he’ll be here in an hour.” I nod, and click enter, putting our names on the overhead board. Afterward, we go to find our bowling balls. It takes us a bit of looking around for them, since more people are coming in to bowl for the night. It’s been a long time since I’ve bowled, and I can only hope I don’t embarrass myself or let Bethany kick my ass.
Bethany picks up an eight-pound ball, and turns to me with a huge grin on her face. “Prepared to lose, old man?”
I take the dark blue twelve-pound ball off the rack, ignoring the old man comment. “Keep up the shit talk. When I kick your ass, you owe me a beer.”
“I’ll take that bet.”
“What are we betting?” Cason asks as he chooses his bowling ball.
“Well, Carter seems to think he’s going to kick my ass tonight. I bet he can’t.”
As we walk back to our lane, Cason says, “I’d like to see you lose, Carter. Beth’s the man at everything. If I were you, I’d back out now while you can.”
“Hell no. I’m taking the bet. Bethany, what do you say?”
She places her ball on the ball rack in front of our lane, as she says, “Let’s make it interesting then. If you win, I’ll buy you a twelve pack of whatever kind of beer you want.”
“Alright, and if you win?”
She smiles, and I get a feeling I’m not going to like what she says. “If I win.” She turns, looking around the alley, then answers with, “You have to ask that chick out.” I glance in the direction she’s pointing, noticing a short blonde laughing at something a woman says. I raise my eyebrows, wondering why in the world Bethany chose this girl. The blonde is attractive, but I can’t say I’m not apprehensive about this bet.
I think about it for a minute, before making up my mind, telling Bethany, “It’s a bet then.” We shake on it, and we start our game. I’m suddenly more determined to win against Bethany, and her trying to play matchmaker.
It’s official.
Not only do I suck at bowling, but I also got my ass handed to me. Cason and Bethany’s scores make me want to never play this game again. I can’t count how many times I gutter-balled, or flat out just missed the bowling pins in general. How could that even happen? I’ve been asking myself that over and over. I’m glad Caden ended up not showing up because he surely would’ve given me hell for losing so badly. But a bet is a bet. I shake my head, rubbing my neck, as I make my way over to the blonde Bethany picked out. I glance over my shoulder before approaching the blonde and notice Bethany and Cason watching me, and it makes me regret taking that stupid bet. I should’ve listened to Cason when he told me not to take it, but no. I just had to do it, not knowing Bethany would beat me.
I stow my hurt pride, as I think of what to say to the blonde. As I get closer, I see she’s watching me. She smiles, then blushes as she looks away. Maybe this whole bet thing will work in my favor. The blonde isn’t the hottest chick I ever seen. She’s just average, but she’s easy on the eyes. Her blonde hair falls down to her shoulders, and she tucks some behind her ear. As I get closer, I notice she has light blue eyes, but I don’t look into them long.
Shelby’s eyes are a darker shade of blue with a hint of green in them.
I sigh, pushing that thought away. I cannot compare the blonde with Shelby. No one will be able to take her place, but it’s time I really start to move on or at least try. I stop, letting a couple and their kids pass by. The blonde looks at me again, and I grin. I decide to make my move when she steps away from her group. “Hi, I’m Carter,” I say as I hold out my hand for her.
She laughs, but she does shake my hand. “I’m Summer. It’s nice to meet you.” Alright, maybe my hand shaking was a smooth move. I let go of her hand, and she tucks another strand of hair behind her ear. I stare at her for a moment, hoping that maybe I’ll feel something for Summer, but nothing’s happening. I feel nothing for this girl, and I know this isn’t a good thing. There’s no zing, no heart racing. It’s just another person standing in front of me. I turn away from her, and notice Bethany motioning me to talk to Summer more. I shake my head, turning back to Summer. She seems a bit lost and not knowing what to say. She looks to her friends, and I know if I don’t do something now, this embarrassing bet will have been all for nothing. I won’t back down, and even if I don’t feel anything for Summer, maybe I can at least make another friend.
“So, uh, you like bowling?” I curse at myself, thinking I’m horrible at making small talk or even trying to flirt. I’m rusty. I haven’t been on a date in almost a year, and I just know Summer is going to tell me she’s not interested.
She giggles then says, “Yeah, my friends and I come here all the time. How about you? I don’t think I’ve seen you here before.”
I’m caught off guard for a moment at her response. I really thought she would tell me to fuck off, or make up a reason to go back to her friends. “I haven’t bowled in a long time, and this is my first time here.” I turn back to Bethany and Cason, noticing they’ve left. “Do you want to grab a drink and talk more? It’s too loud in here to have a proper conversation.”
Summer grins, nodding her head. She reminds me of those bobble head dolls, and I rub my chin to hold back a chuckle. “Yes, I’d love to. Let me tell my friends bye, and I’ll meet you out front.” I nod once, and head to the front counter.
After paying and getting my shoes back on, I make my way outside and wait for Summer. I glance around the parking lot, hoping to see Bethany and Cason. They would be a nice buffer until I can get to know Summer more. I pull out my phone
when I don’t see them, and notice I have a text from Bethany.
Told you I’d kick your ass. Have fun with the blonde. She’s cute so don’t fuck up.
I close out the text, deciding not to respond. Leave it to Bethany to rub in my horrible bowling skills. I slide my phone back in my pocket, placing my hands in my front pockets. I should’ve brought a jacket with me, noticing how cold it’s gotten. I start pacing, waiting for Summer to come out. Thankfully, I don’t have to wait long for her. She comes outside all smiles and staring right at me. “Would you like to sit, and grab some food at this Mexican place?” I ask, pointing at the restaurant.
“Yeah, sure. That would be great.” We walk side by side next door to the Mexican restaurant, but neither of us says anything. I honestly don’t know what to say, and I find I’m unsure how to go about this date if I could even call it that. I can only hope things aren’t this awkward as we get inside the restaurant. I open the door for her, and just as I’m about to walk in behind her, I get another text. I lag behind Summer, pulling out my phone to see what the text says. I can’t help but laugh when I see Bethany’s newest demand.
Tell me all the deets later.
Yeah, that’s highly unlikely. Bethany’s going to be waiting a while for that one.
Annie and I sit out on the back porch, enjoying our morning coffee. It’s become our new ritual. I find that I enjoy the coolness of the morning air, and how comfortable I feel just … being here. The past three months of being back home have been amazing for me. Every day I feel more and more like the old me, not the woman Easton tried to make me become. There’s been a slow change in me with each passing day, but staying home all the time to heal, has been helpful. I also have Caden to help keep my spirits up when things aren’t going as well, or if I’m having a horrible day. Annie and William have been patient, not pushing me to talk about the past. But I can tell from their sad stares some days it’s hard for them to avoid it.
I feel Annie’s gaze on me now, but I don’t look her way yet. I stare at the old worn out treehouse wondering if it’s safe to climb. The treehouse used to be my safe haven. I take a sip of my coffee, putting off Annie as long as I can. I know she’s been working up to asking me about my time in South Carolina. I’ve managed to change the subject every time she brings it up, or if I think she’s going to ask me about it. I know it’ll help if I open up to her, or at least get the horrible dreams I’ve been having under control. I just don’t have the words to explain. If anything, I’m ashamed of myself for letting Easton’s controlling ways happen for so long. I should’ve been smarter, and not so afraid to leave until things got so out of control.
“Shelby, when are you going to open up with what happened?” Annie asks softly. I sigh, knowing my time is up for hiding the truth. I turn in my chair, setting my coffee mug on the small outdoor table. I look into Annie’s light brown eyes, and she gives me a sweet smile, encouraging me to talk to her. Before it was so easy to talk to Annie about everything. It came naturally, and I still feel that way, but I don’t want her to see me differently.
I look away, staring at the old treehouse again, wishing I had the courage like I did when I was a child. It was so simple back then. I turn back to Annie when I feel her hand on mine. She squeezes my hand, and I take a deep breath. “I don’t really know where to start,” I say as a nervous laugh escapes me.
“Start wherever you want. You don’t have to tell me anything, but just know I’m here when you’re ready. I don’t want to see the sadness in your eyes anymore, or hear you crying yourself to sleep.”
I clench my jaw willing the tears that threaten to spill away. I didn’t know she could tell how I’m struggling to leave my past behind me, or how I can’t seem to stop the cries at night. It’s always worse before sleep takes me. “I know I can tell you anything, Annie. I just …” I swallow hard and have to clear my throat before I tell her, “I just didn’t know how much his words could affect me. I didn’t know how difficult leaving, and putting that life behind me was going to be so hard. I thought …” I shake my head, trying not to let the memories take over. “I thought leaving and coming home would be the best option for me. And so far, it’s been wonderful. But his words …” I wipe a tear as it slides down my cheek, and Annie moves her chair closer to mine. She takes my hand, placing it in her lap as I continue to talk. “The thing is when I first met Easton, he was perfect. I don’t know what happened or where things went so horribly wrong, but I never knew someone could be so hateful for no reason. I didn’t know how much his demeaning words would affect so much of who I am.” Annie doesn’t utter a single word as I talk about the past thirteen years. I don’t tell her everything, but I know she understands why. I can only get a few words out before I finally break down. When it gets to the worst parts, Annie just holds me as I cry. It feels good to let it out and to talk about some of it. As my tears finally dry up, I feel lighter and more hopeful than I have in a long time. I know telling Annie won’t magically cure me, but it’s a start.
We stay out on the porch for hours it seems, talking about everything. Annie doesn’t bring up anything I’ve told her. Instead, she fills me in on what’s been going on lately since I’ve become a hermit. She tells me more about the nice family that moved into my childhood home, and about their children. I can’t help but laugh when Annie says she’s taken over the bingo night at the community center. I remember how she always made time to go every week, and it makes sense for her to run it now. I do notice how she doesn’t speak much of the Harlow’s. I want to think it’s because of how Carter and I left things all those years ago, and I hope she knows how much I appreciate it. I hold no ill feelings towards Carter, those feelings have long passed, but I can’t know if he’s moved on yet. I don’t want to know if he’s doing well for himself, or if he’s found someone to make him happy. He’s my first love, and I know eventually I’m going to see him. It’s unavoidable in our small town. I tell myself it won’t bother me if I see him, but I honestly don’t know if that’ll hold true.
Much later, William finally comes outside, asking if we’re hungry. Annie and I share a knowing glance, and we laugh as we make our way inside. I place the coffee mugs in the sink, and lean against the counter as I watch Annie and William banter playfully back and forth. I smile, enjoying listening to them bicker about nothing. I turn away when William sweetly kisses Annie, and walk to the fridge to start making sandwiches for us. I place everything I know we like on the counter when Annie lightly touches my back. “I’ve got this under control.”
“I can help, it’s no problem.” She shakes her head and ushers me to sit down. I sigh and unwillingly take a seat at the table. Annie has always been this way, and I remember how she used to shoo me out of the kitchen when I stayed here when my mother left for a year. As I got older, she let me help some, and she taught me how to cook. I watch her as she moves swiftly around the kitchen, humming to herself. William’s reading the paper, and I realize how peaceful and easy it is here with them. I don’t have to pretend, or try to be perfect. I don’t have to watch what I do or say. It’s an amazing feeling, one that I’m glad I’m able to experience again.
My stomach drops and I snap my head towards the front door when I hear the doorbell chiming. I don’t know why my hands start to sweat, or why suddenly I want to run and hide in my room. I sit like a statue as William folds his paper in half, then slowly walks to answer the door. I know for a fact Easton has no idea where I am. At least, that’s what I’m telling myself. I slowly take a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. I’ve done this every single time since leaving South Carolina. I can only hope one day the fear of Easton finding me will dissipate.
I instantly relax when I hear William’s laugh and a familiar voice. William moves to the side to let Caden in, and I smile at him when he sees me. “Annie, we have enough food for one more?” William asks.
“Of course. Come have a seat, Caden.” Annie turns back to fixing lunch as Caden grabs a chair from the l
aundry room, then places it beside me.
“Couldn’t stay away?” I playfully ask. Caden has been visiting randomly since I returned, and I want to think it’s because he’s checking in with Annie and William. I haven’t gotten the courage to ask him about Carter, or if he knows I’m here. I have a feeling if he did know, he’d be over to talk to me.
“You know me, Shel. No one can resist Annie’s food.”
I laugh as William chimes in with, “How right you are. It’s the reason for this.” He points to his pot belly. “Right here.” We laugh as William sits down with us. Soon after, Annie places a plate stacked high of sandwiches. After pouring us all a glass of sweet tea, she sits down, and we dig in.
“Thank you for the food, Mrs. Barrett,” Caden says. I laugh, knowing Annie doesn’t like it when anyone calls her that.
“Caden, you know not to call me that.” She shakes her head and mumbles something about making her feel old.
I sit back as I listen to William and Caden talk about restoring an old truck William bought at an auction a few weeks ago. Some of it I understand, but I quickly get lost as they start talking about rebuilding the engine, and what all goes into that. “She’ll be a beauty once we get all the parts, and put her back together,” Caden says.
“She sure will. It’s going to be a challenge, but I made a list of parts we can take to Carl’s Auto later. It’s over there on the table by the phone.”
“I’ll get it,” I tell William. I get up and start rummaging through the pile of mail looking for the list. As I flip through the mail pile, my face falls seeing all of Annie and William’s mail has past due notices on them. I glance back at them, and start to feel guilty. Here I am, bumming off them and they’re behind on bills. I wonder how bad it is, and as I find the list, I decide it’s time to get a job, and start helping them. It’s the least I can do for all they’ve done for me.
