Love's Dilemma (Sixty Minute Romance)

by Naomi Davies

“So what are you going to do?” She asked Clair, she already knew the answer.

  “I have no idea. I do not know what to do. I want to think that I love Max, I think that I do love him, but I didn’t have long enough to find out for certain. It is very difficult. I’ll say one thing. He is a good kisser!”

  “Stop saying that, it sounds disgusting!” Jo pleaded. Clair had talked long about this aspect of their day out last Wednesday.

  “Well I am just saying. Even his kissing is a bit wild.” Clair remembered their moment of passion in the pub car park.

  “End of subject! No more!” Jo demanded.

  “Jealous!” replied Clair, pushing Jo onto her bed.

  “Maybe a little.” Admitted Jo.

  Clair left Jo’s at about half past four and arrived at the hospital an hour later. The good thing about spending time with Jo was that Clair felt herself returning to normal. This meant that her feelings for Max were returning to normal. She liked what she was feeling.

  Sandy was already outside the hospital waiting. They had half an hour before they could see Max. Sandy had an overnight bag with her.

  “What have you got there?” Clair asked.

  “Oh, the hospital said Max needed some pyjamas. Max doesn’t wear pyjamas. So I’ve got some T-shirts and jogging bottoms. I hope that they will do.” Clair had suspected that Max didn’t wear pyjamas. How could she be so sure of such things when she hardly knew him, she puzzled? She gave herself a mental shake before responding to Sandy.

  “Oh right.” She said. The half an hour of waiting dragged on a bit and Sandy and Clair ran out of conversation. There are only so many ways you can voice your hopes and dreams, for someone you love dearly who is broken. What they left unsaid was probably more important anyway.

  At six minutes to six they entered Max’s side room to find it empty. There was a bed there, but no Max. Panic struck them like a sword in the heart as the girls both assimilated the scene. Sandy let out a high pitched yelp. This was not part of the plan. Where was he? They looked at each other in fear and rushed up towards reception. Dr Rashid Mehta spotted them and intervened before they got there. He could see what they were thinking.

  “Ladies, you are a little early, don’t you think?” He stood between them and took them both by the arm, one on each side. They had almost become friends with this excellent and attentive consultant in the last week. They all went into a lift and down one floor. Out of the lift they turned right and entered the fifth door on the right.

  “Is this who you were looking for?” Max was in another private room but there were a lot fewer machines and gadgets in this one. He was still wired up but you could see him much better.

  “Thank you Doctor.” Sandy kissed him on the cheeks and Clair decided that it was OK to hug a consultant.

  “My pleasure. A few instructions, if you please. Max is being a little bit naughty and you must tell him to be good and stay in bed. You can stay for an hour only as he will tire quickly. He needs to build up his strength as he needs at least one more operation to straighten out his right leg. That will happen on Tuesday, all being well.” Clair and Sandy took this all in very seriously while staring at Max lying on the bed. His eyes were closed.

  They sat down next to Max. One on each side of the bed. His lovely crazy hair had been shaved off completely. He looked like the lead singer for the group ‘Right Said Fred’.

  “Has he gone yet?” A whispery voice came from the bed. Max’s eyes were open again.

  “Yes we are all on our own.” Clair replied in a whisper. She wasn’t sure why she whispered back.

  “Who is we?” Max asked.

  “Me and Sandy are here” Clair said.

  “My eyes are not seeing clearly yet. But they are getting better. That Doctor Rashid says I have to stay in bed. I don’t like him, he is a bully.” Max was obviously thinking and talking with some sense, so that was good.

  “He is not a bully, he is looking after you. You can’t walk anyway Max.” Sandy said. She urgently moved around to Clair’s side of the bed as Clair was getting all the attention from Max.

  “What happened to your hair?” Asked Sandy.

  “They told me it had to come off in case they needed to drain something from my brain.” Max was thoughtful.

  “Hey Clair, did we have a good time on our date? I can’t remember. I sort of remember riding to Bognor Regis with you. Then I am blank.” Max was confident but could only talk quietly.

  “We had a great time. When you are feeling better I’ll tell you all about it.” Clair said. She suddenly looked away in a pang of angst and couldn’t stay in the room anymore. She put her left hand over her face and held onto Sandy for a few seconds.

  Max closed his eyes. Clair stood up and told Sandy she would go for a walk to give them time together. Clair made off out of the room.

  “Hey where are you going?” Clair heard Max say as she closed the door. Sandy was talking to Max to confirm that Clair would come back later. Clair realised what she had been denying to herself for the last week. This was going to take a long time and the process would not be easy. The worst thing was that the free spirited and crazy Max had not returned as yet. He wasn’t the same person as before.

  Sandy came looking for Clair about ten minutes later. She had been crying. They held each other tightly. Max had fallen asleep while Sandy had been talking to him.

  “I thought he was back, but he isn’t. Not properly anyway.” Sandy said.

  “He will come back, this is only day one.” Clair hoped with all her heart that this would be true. She realised that she loved Max, nothing had changed inside her.

  Max’s leg operation took place on the Tuesday as Dr Mehta promised. No one could visit him as he was so heavily sedated. Sandy and Clair had both gone back to work on the Monday. This was more to keep their minds occupied than anything else. Sandy was a software designer so there was no way she could concentrate on that. She made the coffees for everyone and sat at her desk pretending to be busy.

  Clair did have a full in-tray which she walked around with, trying to get other people to deal with. She was able to sort out some of the simple paperwork and send out a few letters and invoices. Strangely, being back to work, made her feel a lot better. It must have been to do with routine and returning to her life before the accident.

  On Wednesday afternoon Sandy rang Clair at work to arrange visiting Max later on. She was crying and laughing at the same time again, a regular thing in the last four days.

  “I think Max is back! He just phoned me and he sounded like his old self. Then a nurse took the phone from him and told him he was a naughty boy and wasn’t allowed to use a phone.” Clair was relieved and also somewhat fearful of what they might find when they visited him. She was wise to worry and be concerned.

  When they arrived they saw Max being wheeled on a hospital bed from a ward with five other patients in. He was being taken back to his own private room. Max was wearing a crimson coloured T-Shirt with the words “I’m Alive” printed on it in white.

  “I want to stay in the ward!” Max was complaining.

  “You had your chance; you can’t go upsetting other patients like that.” The huge matronly nurse was walking alongside the bed to ensure that Max would cause no further trouble. Sandy and Clair wondered what had been going on.

  “Hi Clair, Hi Sandy.” Max spotted them at the entrance to the corridor. He was grinning from ear to ear. The matronly nurse looked up at Sandy and Clair.

  “Who are you?” She demanded in a thunderous voice.

  “I’m Max’s sister. Sandy and this is his girlfriend, Clair.” Sandy replied.

  “Girlfriend? I didn’t know I had a girlfriend. Wow you look hot! Are you really my girlfriend? What is your name?” Max’s brain was not damaged in the way that the medical profession would diagnose it. But his free spirit and love of life on the edge made it seem like he was a little bit crazy.

  “Be quiet young man!” The nurse demanded.

/>   “I suggest you give me five minutes to tie this patient down. Then you can see him.” Sandy and Clair were not quite sure what the ‘Tie this patient down’ part meant. They didn’t think you were allowed to do that. A few seconds later they heard the tying down process take place. It involved a severe telling off from the large nurse for his behaviour in the ward and a threat of what might happen to him if he didn’t start behaving properly. Everything in the room went quiet. Then the nurse came out of Max’s room and she looked at Sandy and Clair.

  “Someone needs to control that boy!” The nurse looked accusingly at the girls and then stormed off in search of her next victim.

  They went into Max’s room to find out what had happened. Max was sitting up in bed looking like he was king of all he surveyed. His hair was just beginning to grow and it looked like the soft coat of a mink. Sandy laughed with relief at the sight of him and gave him a kiss and half a hug. All the wires and pipes made it hard to hug him properly. Clair also gave him a kiss on the cheeks. The three of them were silent for about two seconds as they all looked at each other. No one wanted to speak first. Inevitably it was Max who broke the silence.

  “Have you ever had a bed bath?” He asked.

  Sandy and Clair looked at each other with fear and trembling.

  “Tell us what happened Max.” Sandy sat down to hear the story of Max and the bed bath. Clair wasn’t sure if the story should have a ‘parental warning’ on it and listened in nervously.

  “Well I asked to be moved to a ward where there were other people. I was bored out of my mind. They put me in this ward with loads of old guys who were nearly dead.”

  “Max!”

  “Well OK. They are very ill. None of them spoke or did anything except groan occasionally. So I decided to try and stir things up a bit. The trouble was that at this moment two nurses came up to my bed and started closing the curtains around me. It was a bit spooky. They told me that I needed a bath. I thought this was a bit rude but I admitted that I haven’t been at my best in the last week. Then these two young nurses introduced me to the concept of a bed bath. Have you ever heard of a bed bath? It’s amazing.”

  Sandy and Clair listened in closer to hear what Max made of this first bed bath. They were both fearful of what might have occurred but keen not to miss out any details.

  “Anyway, these two young girls proceeded to undress me, they are like my own age, and it was amazing. If they were not at work I could ask them out for a date, present company accepted of course. Anyway, by the time they have got me naked, I started play acting about what they are doing to me. These nurses are so cool. They just kept going with my naked body and cleaning everything. And I mean everything! They changed all the bedding at the same time. I’m shouting out things like, “A little bit lower” and “Yes! That’s the spot” much to my amusement. These nurses just kept on going without a murmur. Then I shouted out. “That’s you done, it’s your turn now”. This upset one of the nearly dead guys in the ward and he shouted out “Stop it!” I think I nearly did kill him. The nurses finished my first ever bed bath and then the big mama nurse turned up.”

  Sandy looked at Max. Max looked at Sandy.

  “It’s so good to have you back, Max. I thought I had lost you.”

  “It’s great to be back, although I have no idea what happened to me. I can remember up to the fantastic snog I had with Clair in the pub car park. Next thing I know, I’m all tied up like a trussed chicken in this place.”

  This was not the time to share with Max what had happened. Clair had sat back watching Sandy and Max together. She felt like she was a bit of an intruder today. This reunion was for them alone. She watched as they continued talking about old times and even about their parents’ death. It was very personal to them and she felt like she was an invader. Her mind wandered and she started to dream about how things might have been if Max hadn’t been mown down by that car.

  She was brought back to her senses by Max’s voice.

  “Hey dreamboat, are you thinking about our next date?”

  Clair was so preoccupied that she said nothing in return. She just looked at the pair of them and stood up. She very briefly kissed Max on the lips and made to leave.

  “I’ll be back later. I just want to walk around and get some air. And yes, I was dreaming about you.” Clair whispered to Max. She left the room and went over to the coffee shop in reception. She ordered a black coffee and sat down at a window table. Her mind was spinning with weird thoughts. Her heart was jumping around and pounding with emotions she had never felt before.

  The mix was so potent that Clair did not know what to do with it all. She went through all the times she had been with Max. There had not been many times. She tried to analyse what she was thinking and what she was feeling each time they had been together. She was getting nowhere. She took her smartphone out of her bag and started looking at her messages and her Facebook page. There was a whole world out there who knew nothing about the turmoil going on inside Clair this evening. Everyone else was living their lives as if everything was fine. She put her smartphone away and looked into space. Sandy came to find her and joined her with a coffee of her own. They sat quietly together for two or three minutes. Eventually Clair spoke.

  “I wanted you two to have time on your own. I felt like I was in the way.”

  “Clair? Please look at me Clair. The very fact that you even think like that makes you an amazing person. We did need to catch up with each other. That was a once in a lifetime moment I had with Max. So thank you. I can’t think of anyone who would have worked that out except perhaps Anne. Now, what about you and Max? My brother would really like to know.”

  Clair did her silent thing for a few seconds while looking deeply into Sandy’s eyes.

  ”I am falling in love with Max, but he is a challenge to be with. I can’t decide if I am up for the fight. Is that a dreadful thing to say? Does that make any sense?” Clair voiced her inner concerns straight out. She knew that Max was different to her. She was so straight laced and old fashioned. He was free spirited and dangerous. How come they got on so well together?

  “I am his sister. I understand completely.” Sandy understood Clair’s point of view.

  “So what should I do?” Clair felt awkward asking Max’s sister this.

  “Tell Max. Tell Max exactly what you have just told me, tell him the truth. He can take it. And then just see how things work out between you, like any other boy girl thing.”

  Clair nodded and stood up.

  “I’m going in!”

  “I’ll wait here for ten minutes and then find you.” Sandy gave Clair a little wave, safe and secure that she had said the right thing.

  Clair made her way back to Max’s room. She looked through the glass to see that his eyes were closed. She strode into the room boldly.

  She said nothing but started closing the curtains around the bed. Max opened his eyes with a start.

  “What are you doing?” Max asked, somewhat perplexed.

  “You need another bed bath!”

  “No!”

  Max nearly screamed out in embarrassment and they both fell together laughing.

  “Whew, I thought you were serious for a minute there.”

  “I might be one day.” Clair teased him.

  Chapter Eleven – A Long Road – Two Months Later

  Clair’s love of singing had been forgotten by everyone except Anne. About two months after the accident Clair received a call from Anne asking if she was up for singing with her new band. The new band was formed and rehearsing and she had just got the first gigs booked. Was she and Jo interested in joining them?

  Clair’s heart did its usual hop skip and a jump at the possibility of performing while she considered Anne’s offer.

  “Hello? Are you there?” Anne didn’t know about the not speaking on the phone thing that Clair did.

  “Oh, yes. I’m here. I had forgotten about singing completely.” Clair realised the truth of this. Sh
e hadn’t sung for two months. Not even on her own.

  “Well how about it? You would be great as a lead singer.” Anne was trying to push hard to land Clair as her band’s singer.

  “I’ll check with Jo. She’s pretty busy with her mum and things. I would love to sing. Now I think about it, I really am missing it.” Clair was thinking on her feet. They agreed to speak in a few days’ time.

  Jo was almost angry with Clair that she hadn’t said yes straightaway. It was Jo’s second chance to sing and perform on stage. She was ready even if Clair wasn’t.

  After two more rehearsals and a rough practice run at The George and Dragon, they were ready for the first proper gig. Gail, Jo and Clair really made a great show of the Motown songs and other soul classics they played. The promoter booked them immediately for two more gigs later on in the month. It was to the last of these gigs that Max came. It was his first foray back into the land of the living.

  It was not a grand entrance as he was being wheeled around in a hospital wheelchair. But he looked pleased to be out. Sandy was a complete mess and didn’t care who noticed. Clair had prepared a song for him. His hair was now about an inch long very evenly over his whole head. He looked like a hedgehog. He was wearing a yellow T-shirt with ‘Don’t Push Me’ printed on it in Black. Because he was in a wheelchair and on special leave from his hospital bed he was given a place to watch at the front.

  “I’ve got a song for you tonight. I’ve prepared it specially.” Clair said enticingly.

  “Really? What song is it?” Max was smiling and a little overcome.

  “You’ll have to wait and see.”

  The set of songs went down well and the expected encore was demanded by a noisy audience. Clair came forward to the front of the stage. Anne struck up a few opening chords to introduce ‘The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face’. Clair launched into a slightly upbeat version of the classic song. This sounds impossible to do an upbeat version, but Clair managed it anyway. Sandy was already a mess anyway, she held back nothing. Max quickly joined her and held onto her as if his life depended on it.