A Sister's Shame

by Carol Rivers

  ‘I can’t yet.’

  ‘Because of Vesta?’

  She nodded.

  Bing took her in his arms and sighed. ‘What am I going to do with you?’

  ‘You could kiss me.’ She slipped her arms around his neck and he kissed her, for a moment dispelling all her fears.

  Marie’s thoughts were scattered as they drove home. She knew that Bing was right about leaving the club, but she still felt close to Vesta there and was sure Hector felt the same way.

  The curtains in the front room were drawn against the cold night. Marie sat by the fire with her mother and Bing; Ada wore her dressing gown, a cup of cold tea by her side. Her hands moved restlessly as she listened to Marie.

  ‘You should try to get some rest, Mrs H,’ Bing said gently. ‘Won’t do no good to worry.’

  ‘But my daughter is missing,’ replied Ada fiercely. ‘I want her home, where she belongs.’

  ‘We all want that,’ agreed Marie. ‘Except Vesta.’

  ‘So what is the name of this place she’s gone to?’ Ada asked again.

  ‘The Blue Flamingo,’ Marie and Bing said together.

  ‘Your father is to blame for spoiling her,’ Ada accused. ‘But he always gave in.’

  Marie wanted to defend her father but Ada was in no mood to listen.

  Bing reached for his overcoat and stood up. ‘I’d better call it a night and get home to me bed.’

  Ada pushed herself up from the chair. ‘Goodnight, Bing.’ She added as always, ‘Don’t stay up too late, Marie.’

  On the doorstep, Bing drew her into his arms. ‘Give me a moment to look at you, beautiful.’ He lifted a lock of blonde hair from her forehead and twisted it behind her ear. ‘Marie, I don’t reckon your sister will want to come home.’

  ‘Why? Because of Teddy?’

  ‘No, because she’d have your mum to face.’

  ‘Mum only wants to see Vesta happy.’

  ‘Yes, but being happy is down to Vesta.’

  Suddenly tears filled Marie’s eyes. ‘Bing, it’s all such a mess.’ He held her close and she laid her head on his chest.

  ‘Listen, Mum and Dad want us to go round to tea on Sunday.’ He ran his fingers through her hair. ‘Do you fancy that?’

  ‘Yes, of course.’ She knew he was trying to act as if everything was going on as normal. But with Vesta gone, it all felt far from that.

  It was a cold Monday in early December when Marie started her new job at the factory. The girls in the cutting room had wished her good luck, but she missed Vesta. To her surprise the clatter of keys in the typing pool was almost as deafening as the noise on the factory floor.

  She was given a large box on four wheels. In it were the correspondence and parcels to be delivered to the rest of the factory. The trolley was heavy and had to be left at the bottom of each staircase. Sometimes, she had to wait for the head of the department to reply; other times she was directed elsewhere, with more parcels and packages and even small sheets of leather.

  The office staff ate in a room on the top floor. There were comfortable tables and chairs, unlike in the works canteen with its hard wooden benches. There was also a tea-making trolley with real china cups and saucers. Marie received a few smiles and nods, but eventually her loneliness became too hard to bear and she had to go to the cloakrooms and shed a quiet tear for Vesta.

  At one o’clock, the manager, Mr Morton, told her to put on her coat. He led her out through the big doors and onto the cold and windy wharf. Here, the tugs off-loaded their cargo. Afterwards, it was collected by the labourers who stacked the warehouse. It was Marie’s job to check everything off on her list; when an item was missing, she had to find it, going through all the crates, containers and boxes again. She didn’t mind it, though, as the waiting bargemen and impatient warehouse staff kept her busy. She also discovered she was good at figures. Adding up the totals in her mind was easy and she received a smile of approval from Mr Morton. But when she went back to the small room she had to herself, no larger than a cupboard, she missed Vesta so much that once again tears were close.

  By the end of her first day, her back ached unbearably and, though she knew she would get used to going up and down stairs, the backs of her legs had cramp. As no one had warned her that flat shoes would have made her job easier, she had worn her one pair of fashionable strapped heels. But although they went well with her navy-blue skirt and blouse, the following day they would have to be exchanged for lace-ups.

  ‘Well, how was it?’ asked Elsie the moment Marie stepped in the door that evening. Elsie was talking with Nina and Wippet, but the little monkey was very subdued. It clung to Wippet, his big eyes blinking sadly.

  ‘It’s different from the factory,’ Marie answered, smiling at Nina and Wippet. ‘But I’ll get used to it.’

  Nina looked very pretty as usual, in her pale green beret and coat of the same colour. ‘I’m sure you’ll do very well,’ she said.

  ‘You never came to see me escape my chains,’ interrupted Wippet, running his stubby fingers comfortingly over the animal’s back.

  ‘Sorry, there wasn’t time,’ Marie apologized. ‘How is Kaiser?’

  Wippet shook his large head. ‘He is very nervous now. His leg hasn’t mended properly, you see.’

  Marie reached out to stroke the monkey, but it cowered away.

  ‘After what Teddy did, Kaiser doesn’t trust humans any more. I wonder how that cruel man would feel if someone broke his leg?’

  ‘Come in and have a cuppa,’ said Elsie, giving Marie a wink. ‘You’ve had a long day.’

  Everyone said goodnight. A few moments later, Marie was sitting in Elsie’s front room, drinking tea.

  ‘Wippet ain’t stopped moaning,’ Elsie confided as she made herself comfortable in the easy chair. ‘He’s got a bee in his bonnet about Teddy still.’

  ‘I’m not surprised.’

  ‘It was a terrible thing to do.’

  ‘Yes, poor Kaiser.’

  ‘Now, tell me your news, love. What was your day really like?’

  Marie looked down. ‘I missed Vesta.’

  ‘Bound to, she’s your twin.’ Elsie leaned forward. ‘Your mum told me all about this new club, the Blue Flamingo. So the Scoresbys have left the Duke’s?’

  Marie nodded. ‘Benny, one of the band, said it’s because of the debt it’s run up.’

  ‘That’s an old trick of the trade.’

  ‘Perhaps Vesta is better off after all.’

  ‘Maybe,’ Elsie said hopefully. ‘I can’t help thinking she’ll be bored after a while. Without you, she ain’t got no one to complain to.’ Elsie grinned. ‘My money’s on her packing it in, and soon.’

  ‘Yes, but will the Scoresbys let her go?’

  Elsie sat up. ‘Why shouldn’t they?’

  ‘It was something one of the dancers told me.’ Marie hesitated as she didn’t know whether to tell Elsie. ‘That no one leaves unless the brothers let them.’

  ‘What did she mean?’ Elsie frowned.

  ‘I don’t know; she was dismissed after that.’

  Elsie patted her hand. ‘Look, you know what Vesta’s like about Christmas – she won’t want to miss out on the presents or singsong we all have on Christmas Day.’

  Marie looked up. ‘I hope you’re right.’

  Elsie smiled brightly. ‘So, you say this new job they’ve given you at Ellisdon’s is all right?’

  Marie put out her hands. ‘It’s the first time I’ve come home without brown stains all over me fingers.’

  ‘Why was you offered the job?’ Elsie asked curiously.

  ‘A girl called Flo Davis was leaving.’ Marie went red. ‘Due to “unfortunate circumstances”.’

  ‘You mean she was up the spout?’

  ‘Vesta was surprised when she claimed the father was Teddy.’

  Elsie put her hands to her mouth. ‘What did Vesta say about that?’

  ‘She thought the girls at the factory were just jealous.’

&
nbsp; ‘I don’t put anything past that charmer,’ Elsie said bitterly. ‘I rue the day he ever came here and I let him have lodgings.’

  ‘You weren’t to know.’

  ‘Listen, why don’t you leave the Duke’s now? There ain’t no reason to stay.’

  ‘There might be a chance I’ll see Vesta. And anyway, Dad has been made to work in the cellars. I wouldn’t leave without him.’

  Elsie gasped. ‘Does your mum know?’

  ‘Don’t think Dad would say, as it would worry her.’ Marie drank the rest of her tea. ‘I never thought our dream would tear the family apart,’ she said, emotion filling her.

  ‘Come along, lovely,’ Elsie said kindly, leaning forward. ‘Cheer up.’

  ‘I can’t be happy without Vesta.’

  ‘Now you do sound like your sister, a drama queen!’ Elsie exclaimed with a rueful grin. ‘Listen, the parting of the ways was bound to happen.’

  Marie shook her head firmly. ‘We wanted to sing and dance and go on the stage. Neither of us knew it would lead to this.’

  ‘What’s done is done,’ Elsie pointed out as she raised a black-pencilled eyebrow. ‘It just wasn’t what you imagined it to be.’

  ‘And neither was it for Dad,’ Marie whispered hoarsely.

  ‘Ah, well, my love, that’s show business.’

  ‘Is it?’ Marie asked in surprise.

  ‘Everyone wants a bit of that cherry. It looks red and sweet as it hangs from the tree, but it’s bitter when you taste it.’

  ‘You sound like Mum.’

  ‘She has her reasons.’ Elsie lifted a warning finger. ‘Your dad and Vesta have chosen their paths and you, yours. One day they’ll cross again, but until then, have no regrets. Regrets are a waste of time and spoil the here and now. They are just hurtful thoughts you torture yourself with.’

  Marie smiled. ‘How did you get to be so wise, Elsie?’

  Elsie winked. ‘You don’t get to look as good as I do at my age without knowing a trick or two.’

  Marie giggled. ‘You always put me straight.’

  ‘Then remember this, gel. You can either wake up and be happy. Or wake up and be miserable. Now which do you choose?’

  Again Marie laughed. ‘I’d be daft not to want to be happy.’

  Elsie beamed her a smile and stood up. ‘There you are then. Now off you go, and, Marie . . .’ She grabbed Marie’s arm.

  ‘Yes?’

  ‘Success in life ain’t come as you wanted, but a part of your dream has come true. A pat on the back for your new job, in case nobody ain’t given you one.’

  Marie had a big smile on her face as she left. She felt very different from the unhappy girl who had walked in earlier tonight.

  Chapter 24

  As the days went by, and after her talk with Elsie, Marie began to enjoy her new job. She made friends and used her brains to do the necessary calculations. This was very different from hammering leather in the dusty, noisy cutting room. Every day she felt an improvement.

  The same could not be said of the Duke’s. Marie hated it. None of the customers paid any attention to the dancers. The heavy drinking caused brawls so that it was often impossible to perform. Sometimes the dancers had to run from the stage as chairs and bottles whizzed through the air.

  On the Friday before Christmas Pedro told the girls that they wouldn’t be needed until New Year’s Eve. Rose, Shirley and Sal complained bitterly. Walter and Jeff, the drum and bass players, were dismissed, leaving only Benny.

  ‘You needn’t worry about your sister,’ said Benny that night as they left the club. ‘I heard from Pedro, who was told by Teddy, she’s bringing in trade.’

  ‘Is she happy?’ asked Marie, her teeth chattering as they stood in the freezing cold alley, both shivering as the wind blew the rubbish against the walls and over the cobbles.

  ‘You’d hear if she wasn’t.’

  ‘That’s true. But I still want to see her and hear it with me own ears.’

  ‘Take my tip and leave well enough alone, girl. Don’t go chasing her. Look after number one.’

  Later, as Bing was driving her home, Marie told him what Benny had said. ‘I just hope she turns up at Christmas and puts everyone’s minds at rest,’ Marie ended on a sigh.

  ‘She will. As Benny says, if Vesta ain’t happy with something, she’ll soon let you know.’

  Marie thought about this. It was true that Vesta never suffered in silence. She was a girl who wanted her own way and usually got it.

  ‘Have you thought any more about leaving the club?’ Bing asked her.

  ‘Yes. If things go on as they are, there’s no point in staying. Now the Scoresbys have gone, I don’t think Pedro cares.’

  Bing smiled. ‘That’s music to my ears.’

  But Marie still wasn’t certain. What if Vesta went to look for her? But wouldn’t she have done that by now, if she was unhappy? Perhaps she was waiting until Christmas, when, in true Vesta style, she would make a dramatic appearance.

  Bing took her shopping the next afternoon. They strolled round the market and Marie bought presents: a pair of plaid slippers for Hector, a scarf and gloves for Ada, and a shiny pair of dangling earrings for Elsie.

  When they walked past the fruit and veg stall Fat Freda called out, ‘You’re looking good, girl. Not still working at that dive, are you?’

  Marie only nodded.

  ‘Heard it’s been dumped by them brothers.’

  Marie looked at Bing, who stretched across and turned over the cabbages. ‘Got any bargains, Freda? We ain’t got all day to natter.’

  Freda laughed loudly. ‘Nor have I, love. Now what would you like? I’ve got a few apples and pears on the cheap.’

  ‘That’ll do,’ Bing nodded. ‘And don’t forget to knock a bob off for me smile.’

  ‘You’ll be lucky, you cheeky devil.’

  When they had finished shopping, Bing took Marie to the coffee stall. Despite the cold day, they put down their parcels and sat on the crates provided.

  ‘Even Freda knows about the Duke’s,’ Marie said with a sigh.

  ‘Cheer up, it ain’t the end of the world.’

  Marie grinned. ‘No, that’s true.’

  ‘Listen, can I come round to your gaff on Christmas Day? I’ve got a special present to give you.’

  ‘What is it?’

  ‘Why, a Christmas kiss, of course!’ He grinned, his lovely smile making her tummy turn cartwheels. He wore his smart heavy coat and a dark blue scarf tucked into the turned-up collar, which was all the fashion. His hair still stuck up, and there was twinkling mischief in his eyes.

  Marie giggled under her new hat, a beige and white shell-like beret that she had bought to go with a beige coat from the second-hand stall. The coat hadn’t been worn very much. And though she could afford to buy something new, she was being careful. The dancers were still waiting to be paid for last week, a development that Marie felt, after speaking to Benny, was not unexpected. If they weren’t paid again before Christmas, she would only have her wages from the factory. Not that Marie cared. The money from the club had brought them only sadness.

  ‘Drink up, and then we can buy your present to me.’

  He said it with a straight face and Marie laughed. ‘You’ve got a cheek!’

  ‘Nothing like asking.’

  ‘I’ll give you the same, a kiss.’

  ‘That’ll do. Can I have it now?’

  Marie pushed him away as he pursed his lips. As the passers-by smiled at them, Marie felt proud to be his girl. And, as he drew her against him, she sipped the last of her coffee, trying to hide the wonderful feeling inside her. She knew that the more she saw him, the more she liked him. He was a big part of her life, always eager to make her smile and lift her spirits.

  When Bing and Marie arrived back, Elsie had decorated the tree. It stood in the hall, a sight to behold; glass balls and trinkets, a lot of them resembling gold, hanging from the branches. Elsie had kept all her and Joe’s decorations from th
eir days at the pub. On the top of the tree was a sparkling star, tied on with ribbon. The edges were a bit battered and the white ribbon had turned yellow from age and smoke, but it still looked wonderful.

  ‘Blimey, where are we, the North Pole?’ Bing grinned as they stood in the hall, staring at the tree, its branches draped with white fringes and balls of white knitting wool.

  ‘Each year Elsie decorates a tree,’ Marie explained. ‘We used to help her when we were kids. See, there’s a star on the top that we made at school.’

  ‘Look at what the tree’s standing in,’ Bing chuckled. ‘A pail from the Cubby Hole.’

  ‘How do you know that?’ Marie stared down at the bucket that Elsie had tried to cover with red crêpe paper.

  ‘It’s got “Ladies” painted on it under that paper. You can just see the top of the L. There’s another one just like it that’s still in the Gents.’

  Marie burst out laughing. In the end they were laughing so much that Marie knew it was, for her, both a release and a relief. This Christmas was certain to be mixed with different emotions, but she knew Bing would be by her side through it all. And as he drew her into his arms and slowly kissed her, she knew she couldn’t ask for more.

  It was Monday, 24 December – Christmas Eve. Marie was surprised when Mr Morton allowed the staff to leave at twelve thirty. He wished them all well and gave them each a card.

  ‘They must think a lot of you,’ Ada commented when Marie arrived home. ‘You never got a card before.’ Ada was stuffing the chicken, forcing in the sausagemeat with a look of determination on her face. Marie knew she was trying, as they all were, to enjoy Christmas.

  Ada had hung the hand-made paper-chains in the front room and put holly on the mantel. A sprig of mistletoe hung from the ceiling. The cards they had received depicting Father Christmas and his reindeers and sacks full of presents, the three Wise Men and the Shepherds were placed on the shelf by the window, lined up against the books. Though the front room looked very festive, Marie knew that the decorations were a painful reminder to them all of Vesta’s absence. Christmas was supposed to be the happiest time of the year.