A Sister's Shame

by Carol Rivers

‘I sent your father on an errand,’ Ada continued as she pushed at the chicken. ‘Buy a nice bottle of port, I told him, with lemon. Your sister might be glad of a glass of something fortifying.’

  Marie put down Mr Morton’s card. ‘Mum, you mustn’t be disappointed if she doesn’t turn up.’

  ‘I know.’ Ada’s voice trembled.

  ‘You’ll push that stuffing out the other end if you’re not careful.’

  Ada ignored this, her face set. ‘You can start on the vegetables, since you’re home early.’

  ‘Give me a moment to take me things off.’

  ‘And you can bring the pudding from the pantry. We’ll have custard to go with it.’

  Marie slipped off her coat and hung it on the peg. She felt like resting her legs for ten minutes after all the stairs she’d been running up and down at work. ‘Christmas Day isn’t till tomorrow.’

  ‘I want to have everything ready for her.’ Ada reached for the big china plate. In the next instant it had slipped from her hands.

  The crash on the floor echoed noisily. Ada stared down at the broken pieces, scattered far and wide. ‘Oh, that was my best plate!’ Suddenly she burst into tears.

  ‘Mum, it’s only a plate. I’ll clear it up.’

  ‘I don’t care about the china. I keep thinking of all those Christmases when she was here. You two in the kitchen with me. My beautiful daughters, helping to prepare for tomorrow.’ Ada wiped her eyes with her handkerchief. ‘Oh, what’s the use of pretending, Marie? She ain’t gonna come tomorrow, is she?’

  ‘She might.’

  Ada wept again, the tears falling on her apron.

  Just then, Hector walked in. He looked thin and gaunt, and wore the dirty old coat he used for work.

  ‘What’s the matter?’ he asked, blinking.

  ‘Nothing,’ said Ada sharply.

  He stared at the broken china. But before he could speak, Ada snapped, ‘Hector, you’re letting yourself go. Vesta won’t want to see you like that.’

  ‘Have you heard? Is she coming tomorrow?’

  ‘How should we know?’ Ada shrugged.

  Marie went towards him. ‘Is this the port, Dad?’

  ‘Yes, but I forgot the lemon.’ He handed her the bottle.

  ‘Your father can’t be trusted with the smallest thing lately,’ Ada muttered as she began to clear up the china.

  Marie thought her father looked ill. All his good spirit had vanished and he wore a forlorn expression. Ada’s sharp tongue was getting on even Marie’s nerves.

  Christmas Day would be miserable if Vesta didn’t show up. As Marie kneeled down to help her mother, she said a silent prayer that Vesta would.

  ‘Teddy, how do I look?’ Vesta turned sideways, her hand sliding down the soft pink chiffon of the gown that she and Teddy had bought in the West End. It was a stunning dress, small pink and silver sequins scattered over the heart-shaped bodice and a few hidden in the folds of the full skirt. When she moved the dress caught the light. Vesta had never worn anything like it before. In the six weeks since she had left home, Teddy had made her so happy! He catered for her every need, and had introduced her to so many wealthy, friendly people at the Blue Flamingo that her head was still spinning. And tonight they were invited as a couple to a party, somewhere in the country, where, Teddy had told her, she would be introduced to many people in the entertainment world.

  How lucky she was to have Teddy! There was nothing he wouldn’t do for her. Since she had moved into his rooms on that terrible Sunday in November, when that bully Bing Brown had tried to stop her leaving, her life had changed unbelievably.

  Teddy came to stand beside her. He was the most handsome man she had ever met. Ever seen! And tonight in his black dinner suit, white shirt and bow tie, with his dark hair brushed smoothly back across his head, he looked like an actor from one of those Hollywood films. This thought sent even more shivers along her spine.

  ‘You look perfect,’ he told her, running his dark eyes over her and making her go weak at the knees. ‘Just remember, tonight you must make a good impression. This is your chance to meet some influential people. Actors, directors, producers; the type who will give you a start in show business.’

  ‘You and Mr Scoresby have done that already,’ she murmured gratefully, linking her arms around his neck. ‘I love singing at the Blue Flamingo. Though I do feel a bit rotten about Marie.’

  ‘She had her chance.’

  ‘I know, but she is me sister.’

  ‘Vesta, watch your language. It’s not “me”, but “my”.’

  She giggled. ‘Oops, sorry.’

  ‘You’ve been drinking, haven’t you?’

  She giggled. ‘Only one to calm my nerves.’

  ‘There’s a time and place for everything,’ he told her, kissing her nose.

  ‘Like when we’re in bed?’ Vesta was shocked at her boldness, but she didn’t care. Teddy had liberated her, made her a woman. His lovemaking had been incredible; he’d taught her well and she had loved every moment. He had also shown her what to do for him, which had at first embarrassed her. Nevertheless, after a few drinks, she had soon lost her shyness. There had been other women who wanted him too, but he had chosen her. She still couldn’t believe it! Perhaps flirting with Charlie had worked. When Charlie had turned up at the Blue Flamingo a few nights ago, demanding to see her, Teddy had instructed the doormen to get rid of him.

  A mischievous smile played on her lips as Teddy studied her critically. She had pinned up her hair to one side to show off the diamanté earrings that were his most recent gift to her. He took a great interest in her appearance, buying her clothes, shoes and jewellery that now filled their large white wardrobe in the bedroom. Some of his choices hadn’t been quite what she would have chosen, but that didn’t matter. If he told her she looked beautiful in them, then that was enough to make her happy. She loved their life together in the apartment that Wally had given them off the Commercial Road. Though the district was a bit shabby the interior was luxurious, with art deco furniture, carpets and even a bathroom with a bath in it so big that they could both fit in it together.

  Vesta blushed. Teddy had certainly taught her how to have pleasure. What would Marie think of all this? What would her family say if they could see her now?

  Vesta felt a tremble of misgivings as she thought of them. She hadn’t even written to Ada to let her know how she was. But her mother and Marie had made her very angry, treating Teddy in the way they had. She would never forgive them for nearly causing her to lose out on her biggest chance in life.

  And yet, she missed her family. She had never been apart from them at Christmas. She knew exactly what they would be doing now: preparing dinner for tomorrow and wrapping presents. Ada would be fussing about with Elsie in the hall, decorating the Christmas tree.

  Vesta didn’t want to miss them or to feel guilty. Marie was her twin; they had never been separated. Six weeks was the first and longest time in their lives. But, as Teddy pointed out, Marie had had her chance too and had refused it.

  Comforted by this thought, Vesta slipped her fingers around Teddy’s smooth neck. She wanted reassurance. She wanted love. She wanted him, not her family.

  ‘Don’t do that, Vesta. We must go to the party now.’

  ‘Kiss me quickly, then.’

  He laughed, his dark eyes assessing her. ‘You’re like a little girl, always wanting attention.’

  ‘What’s so bad about that?’

  ‘Nothing, in fact you’ll get plenty of it tonight.’

  ‘You’re the only man for me.’

  Teddy smiled at her in a strange way she hadn’t noticed before. ‘Once you meet Wally and Leo’s friends, you’ll be too busy enjoying yourself to think about me.’

  It was a remark that made Vesta feel a little uncomfortable. Teddy kissed her, running his fingers down the bare skin of her back and teasing the little place on her spine that he knew made her want more – so much more. She wanted to meet all these rich a
nd famous people who could prosper her career. But she wanted Teddy most of all. She was worried about the other women at the party, who would be more beautiful and educated than she was. Women who took one look at Teddy and wanted him too.

  A painful dart of jealousy went through her. She kissed Teddy so fiercely that soon her straps were falling around her bodice and he was peeling the soft, slippery material away from her skin.

  Chapter 25

  ‘Happy Christmas, Mum.’ There was an hour to go to midnight and Ada was, at last, going to bed.

  ‘Happy Christmas, Marie.’ Ada kissed her cheek. ‘Thank you for staying in and helping me.’

  ‘Where else would I be on Christmas Eve?’

  ‘You could have gone out.’

  ‘Bing said he’d call round tomorrow night after he’s seen his mum and dad.’

  Ada smiled and pulled the collar of her dressing gown closer. ‘Don’t get cold. The fire’s almost out.’

  ‘I want to put my presents by the tree.’

  Ada smiled wistfully. ‘You girls couldn’t wait to get up in the morning on Christmas Day to see what Father Christmas had brought.’

  ‘I hope he turns up tonight.’ Marie grinned.

  ‘The best present he could bring me is your sister.’

  ‘Perhaps he will.’

  Ada nodded sadly. ‘Goodnight then, love.’

  ‘Goodnight, Mum.’

  Ada turned to go, then stopped. ‘If you see your father, tell him he can sleep on the couch.’

  ‘Mum, don’t make him do that.’

  ‘He’ll only disturb me. And I’m finding it hard enough to sleep as it is.’

  When Ada had gone, Marie heaved a big sigh. The rift between Hector and Ada was growing. They had quarrelled bitterly earlier that evening over Hector going to the club.

  ‘So you’d put that club above your family?’ Ada had demanded as he was about to leave.

  ‘No, my dear, that’s not true.’

  ‘Then stay home.’

  Hector had looked desperate as he stood at the door. ‘I promise things will change after Christmas, Ada.’

  ‘I’m not interested in promises,’ Ada had called over her shoulder as she went to the kitchen. ‘You just can’t bear to be away from what you think is the limelight.’

  ‘That may have been true once,’ Hector had mumbled, ‘but not any more.’

  Marie knew the truth. Her father was exhausted from the heavy work in the cellars. He was no longer smart and well-dressed. His spirit had been broken. He looked like a frail old man whose dreams had fallen by the wayside.

  When Ada went to bed, Marie took her presents to the tree. She laid them under the branches, listening to the church bells pealing for the midnight service. Families would sing carols and hear the story of the Nativity once again. The cold weather and problems of the past year would be forgotten in order to celebrate the birth of Jesus.

  Marie remembered how, when they first came to the island, Ada had taken them to church. As children they had enjoyed the feeling of unity, when people celebrated the special time of year. But Ada had never been a strong churchgoer and the habit had died.

  Smiling at the sight of the little pictures of Christmas that she and Vesta had drawn many years before, Marie swallowed on the lump in her throat. ‘Bring our family together tomorrow,’ she whispered, ‘and let Christmas be like it once was.’

  Marie shivered as she stood in the hall. The house was very quiet. It was Christmas Day.

  Vesta blinked through the crowded room, searching for the smooth, dark hair of Teddy, who seemed to have disappeared in the throng of partygoers. Someone, a young man whose name she had forgotten, with a cut-glass accent and a lot of fair, wavy hair that fell into his eyes, had danced with her after Teddy had introduced them.

  ‘Drink up, darling,’ he had told her, pressing a glass into her hand. ‘It’s gone twelve and Christmas Day!’

  Since then she had had more dances and another glass – or was it two? – of what she now knew was the best champagne. Lots of people had spoken to her. She had hardly seen Teddy.

  ‘Vesta, are you all right?’ Teddy was suddenly beside her.

  ‘Where have you been?’

  ‘Just circulating.’

  She giggled.

  ‘What’s so funny.’

  ‘Nothing. It’s the long words you use.’

  ‘Do you want a breath of fresh air on the balcony?’

  Vesta turned, following Teddy’s nod to the two large doors that led into the big room overlooking a green wooded space outside. She had been in that room with Teddy when they’d first arrived. Wally and Leo Scoresby had been there and were talking with other men in dress suits and smoking cigars. It had seemed very exciting as they’d all turned to look at her and smile. Even Wally’s face hadn’t seemed so ugly as he’d actually given her a nod.

  ‘No, I don’t want any fresh air. I’d rather go on dancing for ever.’ She laughed, sounding silly even to herself.

  He smiled. ‘Yes, I saw you enjoying yourself.’

  Vesta felt a little disappointed. ‘Weren’t you jealous? Why didn’t you come and rescue me?’

  ‘You didn’t look as if you needed rescuing.’

  Vesta thought that her head felt very strange and her own voice sounded a long way off. But the feeling was not unpleasant. In fact, she liked it.

  ‘Do you want something to eat?’ Teddy asked, touching her bare back above the zip of her dress. She shivered. He could make her feel so excited with only one touch. ‘Wait here, I’ll go and get you something.’

  She wanted to stop him. Food didn’t interest her, although she had been amazed at the variety of food placed on a long buffet table under the big windows. She didn’t recognize some of the dishes and Teddy had said names she’d never heard before. He knew so much and she knew so little. Like this wonderful place, she thought, as she gazed around. To come here with him and to be introduced to all these people was amazing. Above her, the low-beamed ceilings were strung with expensive-looking decorations and silver and gold banners that twirled and waved above their heads. Teddy had told her the Christmas tree on the lawn outside was sixteen foot high and cut down from the acres of woodland that surrounded the old house. It was covered from top to bottom in different-coloured lights.

  As Teddy had paraded her around, all the men seemed very imposing in their dinner suits, accompanied by glamorously dressed women who looked a lot younger. There were sultry brunettes and dazzling redheads and one very beautiful blonde who wore a backless silver evening gown that perfectly moulded her reed-slim figure. She had spoken to Teddy softly, kissing him briefly on the mouth, which Vesta hadn’t liked at all. Another woman also did the same a little while later, but then Teddy had explained it was the custom amongst people who knew each other well in these kind of circles.

  ‘Do you know these girls well, then?’ Vesta had asked, causing Teddy to smile and raise his eyebrows.

  ‘It’s part of my job. Leo and Wally expect me to be charming to their guests.’

  Then she had been full of envy for the women. She wanted to be like them: confident and sure of herself. She knew she was beautiful and young – Teddy always told her that – but, more than that, she wanted an air of poise and sophistication that she knew was lacking.

  Vesta drank the last of her champagne. She began to smile as the warm sensation swirled inside her. The drink was making her feel confident, exactly what she had wished for.

  ‘What’s so amusing?’ Teddy asked when he returned, a small plate in his hand filled with odd-looking pieces of food.

  ‘Your face is all funny.’

  ‘You’d better eat this.’

  ‘Can I have another champagne?’

  ‘After you’ve eaten.’

  She took the food to please him. He always had her best interests at heart. She loved the way he looked after her, and showed her off, giving her all the attention.

  ‘These people must be very rich,�
�� she said after swallowing a few scraps. Quickly she put the plate down on a side table.

  ‘Yes, they are.’

  ‘How do you know them?’

  ‘I told you, it’s my job for the Scoresbys to know people.’

  ‘But, I mean, when did you—’

  ‘I’ll get you another drink.’ She saw Teddy turn and stop a waiter. He took a long glass from the tray. She had never seen so many waiters and waitresses in one room. She giggled. ‘I love champagne.’ The bubbles were going up her nose again.

  ‘How would you like a part in a West End show?’ Teddy asked casually.

  ‘Really?’ Vesta gasped.

  ‘That man over there is a director. I could put a good word in for you.’

  Vesta looked up into Teddy’s handsome face. ‘But I don’t even know if I can act.’

  ‘You can sing and dance. You can probably act too.’ He grinned, touching the skin of her arm with his fingers. ‘It’s worth a try.’

  Vesta took another sip of her drink. She felt scared and excited all at once. She looked at the man with silver hair that Teddy had said was a director. A tall, exotic-looking girl with black hair was with him. Although he was much older than she, his silver hair and elegant posture set him out from the crowd.

  ‘What’s his name?’

  ‘William Dearlove. You should recognize his face from the magazines you spend so much time reading.’

  Vesta saw the funny side of this. ‘Dearlove? What a silly name!’

  ‘Don’t say that out loud,’ Teddy told her sharply. ‘Not if you want to impress him. Come along, I’ll introduce you.’

  ‘Teddy, are you sure he’d be interested in me?’ she blurted, looking at the beautiful girl again.

  ‘Just relax and enjoy yourself.’

  Vesta felt herself being guided towards the group of people now gathered round William Dearlove. Their faces all turned in her direction as they approached. The silver-haired man smiled politely, making her feel quite special as he took her hand.

  A moment’s embarrassment filled her as Teddy said, ‘Bill, I’d like you to meet Vesta, the singer at the Blue Flamingo I was telling you about.’

  ‘Why, I’m charmed, my dear.’ He kissed her hand.