Finding My Pack

by Lane Whitt

  "But you don't know me Reed. You shouldn't be sad for me. Please don't let me make you sad. No one should ever be sad in a bed made of clouds." I say, trying to make him smile.

  It works, his eyes turn playful and he laughs. "My cloud-bed huh?"

  "Yeah, your cloud-bed. I think I'm in love with it." I giggle. Which is a strange sound coming from me.

  Reed shifts, turning on his side to face me, his hands snaking under the pillow. I do the same. "Go to sleep silly girl." He says playfully, kissing my forehead before closing his ever-changing eyes. I close mine too. I drift off, dreaming of fluffy clouds snuggling up to me.

  I wake with a jolt. My eyes fly open and panic sets in. Where am I? I take in all the white. Oh yes, the cloud. Reed. I'm in Reed's room in a house full of boys that I know nothing about. They have been nothing but kind to me so far, even though I think they are weird.

  The door opens after a light knock and Finn cautiously enters. "Hey, sleepyhead." He says.

  "Hey. What time is it?" I reply, looking to the window. The sun is in almost the same place it was when I fell asleep.

  "It's ten o'clock in the morning...Sunday." Oh great, I slept for another full day. "Kellan wants to see you before you eat, so come on. I'll walk you down there."

  I get up and follow Finn out into the hallway. He leads me down the stairs to a closed door. As he's about to knock, the door swings open and Kellan's standing there with a smile. He gestures for us to come in. The room looks like what I imagine a doctor's office would look like. On one wall is a cabinet and sink. On the opposite side is a high cushioned table with two cots next to it and chairs positioned between them. The back wall is filled with shelves and floor to ceiling cabinets. I stand uncomfortably in the middle of the room, not sure where I’m supposed to go. Finn takes a seat in one of the chairs as Kellan closes the door.

  "So Kitten...Ever seen a doctor before?" Kellan asks me.

  "Um, no. Why? Is one coming here?" Finn and Kellan both laugh at that.

  "I'm a doctor sweetie. I'd like to get your vitals and look over your injuries, see how you're healing. Is that okay Kitten?"

  I stand there, unsure. He looks like he's nineteen at the most. Maybe they just look young? Either way, why would he have a room like this in his house if he wasn’t a doctor? I shrug. What else was I going to do? Leaving right now still isn't a good option. If he wanted to hurt me he could have done so already.

  "Alright then." Kellan says while taking something out of a cabinet. "We'll step outside while you change into the gown. Take a seat up here on the table and yell when you're ready. We'll be right outside." Both he and Finn head out the door.

  I pick up the checkered green fabric. He called it a gown but it has no back to it. Did he mean robe? I take off my borrowed clothes from yesterday and slip into the robe. I wrap it around me and climb the little steps on the table.

  "Ready." I call out. The door opens and they both return.

  Kellan goes to the sink to wash his hands as Finn sits back down in his chair beside me. Once he's done drying his hands, Kellan digs through a few drawers taking things out and setting them on a rolling table. He rolls it over to me.

  He uses different items to check in my ears and my mouth, pressing something to my chest and back. He looks at my fingernails and holds my wrist for a few moments. He rolls something over my forehead and it beeps. When that's done he walks to the counter and writes something down. When he turns back to me he looks more serious.

  "Now I'm going to need you to lay down Kitten. I'm going to open the gown and I'm going to press on your stomach and other areas, checking for injuries. While I'm doing that, I'm going to speak to Finn and he's going to write down what I say. Everything I'm doing is strictly professional; I'm not going to hurt you. If, at any moment you want me to stop, just say so and I'll stop immediately. Okay?"

  I nod and lay back. For some reason I trust Kellan. He starts with my face, turning it this way and that, moving to my throat, his fingers gently pushing. My arms are next, he inspects each side, continuing to talk to Finn who is writing his every word. When his hands touch my feet I pull back. It tickles. Kellan doesn't react, moving my toes around and pushing my feet back.

  He takes a deep breath in. "I'm going to open the gown now Kitten." I stiffen but nod. No one has ever seen me naked before. But I think because of the situation it's not so bad, he's trying to help me. It's still embarrassing though. I can't help the blush that spreads over my face. I stare at Finn's hand as he holds a pen to the paper.

  A white sheet is placed over me before Kellan begins. I asked what it was for and Finn told me it was to cover up parts of my body that aren't being examined. That helped to make me feel better about this. I can't bring myself to think badly of Kellan.

  Kellan presses on my belly like he said he would. He also pushes on my ribs which earns a grunt from me. He says sorry but keeps doing it. I think we're done when I feel his fingers brush over the tops of my thighs. I suck in a breath and clamp them together. Kellan immediately moves his hands back.

  He clears his throat and turns his face away. "Severe bruising on her upper thighs." He tells Finn. Looking back to my face, I notice his eyes are bright and his cheeks are turning a little pink. Not from embarrassment I note, from anger.

  "Kitten are you sure...you could have blacked out...he could have..." His voice cracks." I could check real quickly, just take a look? No touching."

  As if I wasn't already dying of embarrassment and shame. I nod and look back to Finn. He looks uncomfortable too. Without raising his head from the paper he reaches up and takes my hand. I squeeze it and he squeezes back. I'm glad he's here with me. It's nice not having to do things on my own.

  Kellan bends my knees and shifts my legs apart. He lifts the sheet off my bottom half. I think I stop breathing. Quickly after, he closes my legs and lays them down again, pulling the sheet down once again. I exhale and release Finn from my death grip.

  He looks relieved and tells me all is well. I was pretty sure that nothing happened in that way, still, it's nice to have confirmation. Kellan then takes his gloves off, washing his hands again. I take Finn's hand in mine as Kellan sticks a needle in my arm, filling little tubes with my blood. That doesn't take long, thankfully.

  "We'll leave so you can get dressed, Logan gave me some new clothes for you to put on, and they’re by the sink."

  With that, he leaves the room, Finn following behind him after a chaste kiss to my cheek. I get the clothes, putting them on quickly. This time it's white boxer-briefs, orange night pants with a white, long-sleeved shirt. I get back on the table and yell that I'm dressed.

  This time it's just Kellan. "If you don't mind Kitten, I'd like to wrap your ribs. It might make you a bit more comfortable."

  "Okay. Can I have more ibuprofen too?"

  "Sure thing, I keep those in the kitchen though, I'll get them before you eat." He says, with a soft smile on his face.

  He pulls out a rolled up piece of stretchy fabric and motions for me to lift my shirt up. I sit up straight as he wraps the fabric around my ribs tightly. It hurts but feels much better once he's done. It’s more comfortable to breathe. I let go of the shirt and it falls back into place. Kellan pulls out a rolling stool from under the table and takes a seat in front of me.

  "The hard part's over now." He smiles. "But I would like to talk to you about immunizations. You said before that you've never been to the doctor. How is that Kitten? Are you sure you never went as a kid?" He asks.

  "I'm positive. There was never anyone to take me. I was thrown in a dumpster as a newborn and a crazy homeless lady found me. She thought I was a cat, hence the name". I say, watching Kellan flinch. "She never took me to a doctor, or a vet for that matter. I got away from her as soon as I could. She was in no condition to care for a kid, or even a cat. I've been on my own since." I whisper the last part, looking at my knees. Kellan's long fingers cup my chin, lifting my head. My eyes now looking into his grass green ones.<
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  "It's okay, you're here now. I would like to give you some immunizations, but not right now. Now...my dear girl, you must eat." He smiles sadly. Again, I think of how beautiful this man is. I hate that I make them so sad. I should learn to keep my mouth shut.

  He helps me down for the table and we head for the kitchen.

  CHAPTER 5

  This time I'm taken to a formal dining room. Kellan pulls my chair out for me like I've read in books. I feel like a princess. What a stupid thought. It looks like most of the guys are already seated as well. I'm seated between Ash and Logan, Reed right in front of me flanked by Jace and Finn, Remy sitting at the head of the table of course.

  Kellan comes out of a swinging door with large plate in one hand, a glass of orange juice in the other. He sets the plate down in front of me. "Tristan made an omelet for you this morning, you could use the protein." He takes a bottle out of his pocket and gives me two pills. I shoot him a thankful smile and swallow them down.

  Ash leans into me, looking at my plate longingly. "Is he making us all omelets, Kell?" He asks.

  "No worries Ash, he's making them for everyone. He wouldn't do that to you," Kellan says laughing.

  "Good." Ash says in his gruff voice, leaning back and looking at me, "Tristan makes the best omelets."

  It certainly smells good. Little do they know that I'm not that picky. Moments later, Tristan starts carrying plates in for the guys, all with omelets on them, and other plates stacked with bacon, sausage, ham, and toast that he places in the middle. Kellan took a seat next to his twin so Tristan takes the last seat open beside Ash on his other side.

  Once he's seated, everyone begins eating or reaching for things. Ash holds out a plate of sausage, raising a brow in question to me. I nod and he puts several sausage patties on my plate. I pick up my fork, about to start, when I remember how I made a fool of myself the day before. I look around me and decide to act civilized in front of these gorgeous boys.

  I see Jace across from me, next to Reed. He's already eating, using his fork and knife to cut the egg into small pieces, taking his time. I mimic what he's doing. When he takes a bite, I take a bite. When he takes a sip of coffee, I take a sip of juice. When Jace wipes at the corners of his mouth with his napkin, I do the same. Because this is the first time in a long time I didn't feel the need to eat in a hurry, I actually taste what I'm eating. Ash was right, this is amazing. The egg is fluffy and light with ham, cheese and onions on every forkful. I wonder how I'm ever going to go back to cold cans of soup and off-brand lunch meat packs after tasting Tristan's food.

  Now that I think I have Jace's routine down, I look away from him and see Remy watching me. My hand pauses halfway to my mouth. Oh no! He must have been watching me watch Jace. I probably look like a total creeper. I wouldn't blame him for thinking that either. Jace is as attractive as the rest of them. He's the quintessential golden boy. Hair the color of sunlight, eyes as blue as the sky. And the five o'clock shadow he's sporting isn't hurting either. There is something enchanting and refined about Jace. His fluid movements and the way he holds his body. A really, really good looking body...

  I shake myself from those thoughts. Now I really am creeping on Jace like Remy probably thought I was. I turn away from them both. Let them think what they want. What does it matter anyway? As I turn, I notice Tristan is watching me too. Well, me and my plate. He has a hopeful look in his chocolate eyes. Oh, I realize I've stopped eating. I probably insulted him. I take another bite and wipe my mouth before speaking.

  "This is wonderful Tristan, Maybe the best thing I've ever eaten."

  Tristan beams at me, using that kind voice of his, "Thank you Kitten, I'm glad you like it". For the rest of breakfast a satisfied smile stays on his face.

  After I'm stuffed to full capacity, I sit and watch the guys finish eating. As soon as Logan is done he pushes his plate away and jumps up, clapping his hands together.

  "Okay Kitten, time to do something about that hair. To quote you from yesterday, 'your hair looks like crap". He says, chuckling a little. It makes me laugh too, but earns a few frowns from the table. I guess we have an inside joke.

  Logan takes my hand in his holding it all way back to Tristan's bathroom. He picks several things from the drawers and directs me to stand in front of him. He lifts me by my hips, placing me on the counter, between the twin sinks. I gasp, looking at him like he's crazy. That seemed so effortless for him.

  "Oh come on, stop looking at me like that. You weigh what? Eighty pounds soaking wet? Are you even five foot Kitten?" He says playfully. I mumble, "I'm five foot one thank you very much. A buck seven too." He hears me anyway and cracks up laughing. I have the sudden urge to kick him in his shin. I've earned every pound, I doubt he would understand that though, so I let it go.

  Logan takes his time squirting my hair with a spray bottle, brushing, drying, and then braiding my hair in one long French braid that hangs down my back.

  "This way your wavy hair will be extra wavy when we take this out tomorrow." He states like he put a lot of thought into this.

  "Um...Logan?"

  "Yes, my life size Barbie?" He replies, and this time I do kick him in the shin. He laughs.

  "Are you going to do my hair every day? At least...every day that I'm here?" I ask shyly.

  He looks a little hurt when he responds, "Do you not like me doing your hair?"

  "OH, no! I uh... I love it. I just...is it normal?" I look to my lap. I just admitted that I don't know what normal is. Which makes me strange. I am strange, but I don't want him to know that.

  Logan uses the end of the brush to lift my chin. "Why do you care what normal is Kitten? Is it that important to be like everyone else? You said you loved it, so does it matter?" His voice and his eyes are sincere.

  "No, I guess it doesn't."

  He smiles. “Good, and yes, I will be doing your hair every day. Every day that you are here. Which is as long as you want to be here. We want you to stay with us Kitten. We've already talked about it."

  I give him a confused look, "Why? Why would you want me to stay? You don't know me. I have done nothing to deserve any of this".

  His gives me a sympathetic look. "Let me guess, you're on your own. Have been for a long time right?" He asks, I nod. "You don't have anyone right? No parents, no family?" I shake my head, this time looking down. Everyone has parents; I just don't know who they are or why they didn't want me. He knows all of this already, what's he getting at? Logan tilts my chin up again.

  "Believe it or not Sweet Kitten, most of us were in the same position as you are now. We know what it's like and we don't want you out there on your own anymore. You're a tiny, young thing and as beautiful as you are, it makes you even more of a target."

  I blink at him. This amazing, kind, insanely attractive boy thinks I'm beautiful? I close my eyes, daring the tears pushing against my lids to fall.

  Logan must take this the wrong way because he rushes to say, "If you don't want to stay with us permanently, at least stay until we can make sure you will be taken care of. If that means finding you a family until you turn eighteen, or paying for a home for you and getting you a good, reliable job then that's what we'll do."

  I open my eyes to look at him, tears now flowing freely. Logan gently pulls me into a hug, cupping the back of my head in his large hand. With my face pressed up against his chest I whisper, "Even Remy?"

  ……..

  After having thoroughly laughed at me for my genuine question, Logan helped me from the counter and drug me behind him to Remy's office. That's where I am now. Seated in a brown leather chair facing his impressive desk. The room's as intimidating as the man who owns it. It's sparsely decorated in different shades of brown and cherry wood. Both walls on either side of the desk are full bookshelves with files, folders and worn looking books. Papers stick out all over the place, like he just shoved them in somewhere. I wonder if he has a system or has to dig through every time he needs something.

  I wish h
e would hurry up. It feels like I've been sitting in here alone for over an hour. When Logan brought me, Remy had said he needed to talk to the guys and he'd be back shortly. Apparently we have a difference of opinion on what shortly means.

  Finally, a disheveled looking Remy walks in. Wearing a black button up shirt, untucked and the sleeves rolled up, paired with a dark pair of jeans and black boots, he looks the part of an attractive young man relaxing at home. I know better, I doubt Remy is ever relaxed.

  "Sorry for your wait Miss Kitten, that took longer than expected." Remy says, walking around and taking a seat behind his desk.

  He sits forward with his fingers steeped together under his chin. I shift uncomfortably under his piercing gray eyes. I wish he didn't have to be so serious all the time.

  "So what did you want to see me about?" I ask, getting this started so that it can end.

  "There are several things. I'm just not sure where to start." He replies, sighing and leaning back in his chair. "I want you to understand Kitten, that all of us, even me," he smirks, "would like you to stay with us. Here, in our home, for as long as you would like." I wait for more but he doesn't continue.