Finding My Pack

by Lane Whitt

  "Uh, listen. I'll start by saying that I would love to stay here. The guys are nice to me and your house is amazing, better than any place I could have ever dreamed of staying." I pause, trying to get my words right. I take a deep breath. "The thing is...I just don't get why you would want me to. I mean, Tristan and Ash found me bleeding in the street, for Christ's sakes! I understand that some people can't walk away from a person in need, and I appreciate everything you've all done for me, don't get me wrong." I rush to say. God this is coming out wrong.

  Remy speaks up then, saving me from bumbling on. "I understand what you're getting at. Truthfully, I don't know why we want you to stay. I can't give you the answers you seek in that department. It could be your youth, for some, your beauty. Perhaps its how your gratefulness for simple things reminds us of where we came from. All I know is that each of us finds you fascinating and intriguing. We are simply drawn to you and like having you around." He holds his hands out wide in an “I-don't-know” gesture.

  "Kitten", long, uncomfortable pause. "You haven't been shown the kindness in your life that you deserve. Trust doesn't come easily for you, no one understands that more than me. We don't want to hurt you. We won't make you do things you don't want. That's not who we are. I think you feel comfortable around us, maybe even trust us, just a little. If you thought we were bad people, you wouldn't still be here, would you?" Remy gives me a questioning look, eyebrow raised.

  "You're right." I whisper. And he is. I haven't felt like I've been in danger at all since I've been here. I don't know why they want me here but it doesn't matter. I want to be here and I want to know these remarkable boys. "Okay, I'll stay."

  "Good." Remy smiles broadly. His whole face lights up when he smiles. He should smile more.

  "I should work though; I don't want to just live off you. That's not right. There are a few places that let me work under the table. I can make my own money. I don't make much, but I'd like to at least contribute". I state firmly, this is a deal breaker for me.

  Remy gives me what I think is a pleased smile. "We pool our money in this house Miss Kitten. We hold a firm belief in 'what's yours is mine and mine yours'. That way everyone is taken care of. I'm glad you’re offering to contribute, though only do so if you are willing to use our money as well. Everything is equal here."

  That makes me a little uncomfortable. No way do I make as much as these guys. My part won't be equal. Although, no way am I staying and NOT throwing in what I make.

  "What kind of work do you do Kitten?" He asks, sounding genuinely curious.

  "There's an ice rink that I work at, a restaurant that lets me wash dishes when they are busy, and a hotel that lets me do laundry for them." I reply. I hate admitting that those are the only work I can get to someone who is obviously rich and probably has a great job. I'm not ashamed though, I do what I have to and it works for me.

  "What do you do at the ice rink?"

  "Sometimes I work at the snack bar, and sometimes at the skate rental desk, but my favorite job is when I get to work with the kids. The mornings are family time and there are little kids falling all over the place. When someone takes the time to show them how it's done, it's like...like the whole world just opened up to them and they own it. It's not a practical skill but once they can stand up on their own or do a few tricks it makes them so happy. That's what I do, teach them to skate." I look back to Remy and he has a blank look on his face. I look at my knees. I was rambling. I clear my throat.

  "Um...yeah so uh...the owner tries to pay me in cash but on occasion she can't so I get paid in free skate time. I like it there."

  He nods his head, drumming his fingers on the desk. "How about this? I'll talk to the owner at the ice rink and see about getting you hired on part-time with a set wage as a trainer. You drop the dishwashing job altogether. And I'll pay you twice what you made doing laundry, if you do it for us. That way Finn will have time to catch you up on your studies when you're not working, laundry will actually get done around here, and you'll have a task at home so you won’t feel like you are living off of us. Sound reasonable?" Remy states matter of factly, but I'm still stuck on the word 'home.'

  I stare at him. Is he serious? He doesn't even know how much I make at the hotel and he's offering to double it? Then again I'm sure he could afford it no matter what it is.

  "Uh, yeah, that sounds fine. I should probably work full time. I don't need Finn to catch me up on anything. I've spent most of my life in a library, reading anything I could. Between the books and using the computers there, I met the standards to pass high school when I was twelve."

  "There is always more to learn young Kitten, is there not?" He asks, acting like he's more than a few years older than me. I nod anyways though, he's right, there is. Getting to spend more time with Finn sounds like fun anyway.

  "Alright, we're agreed." He says, standing. "I'll have Jace show you where the laundry room is. Ash and I have somewhere to be. I'll see you for dinner." He walks to the door and opens it, standing to the side to let me pass. We walk through the house until we come upon a room done in cream and dark blues. A large screen dominates one wall, on it are characters shooting each other. A couple of the boys are playing the game, one of them being Jace.

  "Excuse me Jace, I need you to show Kitten where the laundry room is. She's going to be doing our washing from now on." Remy says in an authoritative voice. I now realize that he hadn't used that voice with me in his office.

  The guys pause their game and all have a deer in headlights look about them. Ash stands and claps his hands, rubbing them together. "Finally! I hate washing clothes. You know how to keep black from fading Kitten? I swear, I wash something once and it's like half the color leaves it."

  That makes me giggle. I still think it's a strange sound. "Yeah, you wash them in cold water. I think they even make special soap just for dark clothes. You also turn dark jeans inside out so they won't fade as fast and you hang dry certain types of fabric." How do I know this simple thing and they don't?

  "Oh yeah, this gonna be great. Logan can stop hassling me about my shit now." Ash says to Remy.

  Remy looks back at Ash, "We leave in ten, get ready." The two share a look and Ash's face becomes hard again. He nods once and follows Remy out into the hallway.

  "Let's get you to that laundry room then" Jace says, laughing. "You might become the most loved person in this house, we all hate washing and folding with a passion. Logan loves to buy them so mostly we just get new ones once they're dirty." He shrugs. That has to be the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Wasteful too.

  Turns out they call the entire basement the laundry room. Although I don't know why they don't call it 'The Land of Forgotten Clothes. The washer and dryer are state of the art. They even have a folding table, drying racks and an ironing board with the iron sitting on top of it. Clearly, someone tried to keep up with it but gave up. There are piles of clothes everywhere. Some as tall as me. Washing clothes really isn't that difficult for crying out loud.

  Jace walks around the piles like they might bite him or something. I can't help but laugh at him. Big, strong guy afraid of socks and t-shirts. I look around for the bleach to start a load of whites but I don't see it. There's a cabinet next to the dryer so I poke around a bit. Several different types of soaps, softeners and dryer sheets take up most of the space. The bleach is on the top row. I stand on my tip-toes but it's still out of reach.

  "Who's laughing now fun size?"

  "What?" I ask

  "Come on, nobody's ever called you that before?" He says with a disbelieving look.

  "No, I don't think so, what does that mean?"

  "Holy shit you're serious!" He laughs. "You know, like the fun size candy, it's smaller than the regular size candy?" I just stare at him, I have no idea what he's talking about.

  "Basically, I'm calling you short, but in a friendly way. And you girl, just earned yourself a nickname". He winks at me.

  "Sorry, I wasn't the type of kid that wa
s given candy."

  "Hey," Jace nudges me out of the way to grab the bleach, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean anything by it."

  "I know, it’s okay. And hey, I am short, it doesn't bother me. I have a lesser chance at falling over in case of an earthquake." I stick my tongue out at him. He laughs.

  I start the load of whites and move on to the first pile. I start sorting through it, dark clothes, jeans, things that will need to be dry cleaned, towels. After a while Jace says he'll see me upstairs. I guess he got bored. A few items have stains on them that sat here for so long that I doubt they will ever come out. Bunch of crazies. They should have just washed them.

  I stay down there for about four loads of laundry and call it quits. I found a bunch of racks filled with hangers so I just hung everything up. I don't know what belongs to who yet. I decide to go find Logan and ask him. I'm sure if anyone knows he will.

  As I'm rounding a corner near a back door I've never seen I see a sleek black dog sitting on the deck. I open the glass door and whistle for it. It looks ready to bolt.

  "Please, don't run away. I won't hurt you." The dog still looks unsure but I approach it slowly with my hand out. When I get close enough, I kneel next to it and run my fingers through its shiny fur. It looks well-groomed so it must belong to someone. The guys never mentioned having a dog but clearly it's theirs. It was at their door. They should really get a collar and tags for it.

  I scratch behind the dog’s ear and it closes its eyes in contentment. "Oh yes, I'd totally steal you puppy, I'll make sure you get a pretty collar tomorrow."

  I stand calling the dog to come with me. It still looks unsure but comes in anyway. I watch behind me to make sure it follows. I find the living room but no one else is here. Oh well. Someone left the TV. on so I sit on the couch. I figure one of them will eventually come in here. The dog jumps up and sits beside me.

  "No! Bad dog, down, get down." I snap my fingers at it. I don't know if they let the dog on the couch or not but it looks pretty expensive.

  I feel bad for yelling at it so I slide to the floor and lean my back against the couch. "Sorry puppy, come here, I'll sit with you." I pat my legs so the dog will come closer. With its ears pulled back it comes over and lays its head in my lap. I stroke my hand over its head and down its back. I love the feel of the silky fur between my fingers. The dog rolls over so I scratch it's....his, belly.

  "You're such a pretty boy aren't you puppy? I wish I knew your name. You have such pretty puppy eyes, don't you boy?" I say, rubbing under his chin. He leans into my hand, I guess he likes that. I continue to pet him until my arm grows tired.

  I look at the dog lying lazily in my lap. He looks up at me with his mint green eyes. If I had to guess I'd say this was Finn's or Kellan's dog. I've heard that pets tend to look like their owners. Or maybe that was a commercial?

  "Well, I'm thirsty, what about you?" The dog just looks at me. I sigh, "I have no idea why I'm waiting for an answer." I stand again and he follows me to the kitchen. Tristan is in front of the stove, probably preparing dinner.

  "Hey Tristan." I wave when he turns around. "Where do you keep your dog bowls? We're thirsty. Although I'd like my water from a cup." I smile at him but it dims a bit when I notice how he's just staring at the dog, looking mad.

  "Umm…he was at the back door, he didn't have a tag, and I just figured he belonged here. Is he yours?"

  "Certainly not mine." Tristan mutters.

  "Oh, well.....can we keep him? He's so well behaved and...I like him. I'll take care of him, I promise." I beg. I don't want to send him back outside without knowing if he has a place to go. He probably does, I just don't know where.

  Tristan looks even angrier now. I walk up to him and wrap both of my arms around one of his. "Please Tristan? You took me in when I was alone. I'll try to find his owner. He's been groomed and smells real nice so someone might be looking for him. Don't make me put him back outside."

  I think Tristan knows how hard that would be for me because his whole body deflates. He untangles his arm from mine then brings me in for a hug, kissing the crown of my head.

  "Okay, if my Kitten wants a puppy, my Kitten can have a puppy." He says and I laugh. When you put it that way it just sounds weird. I lean up on my toes and kiss his cheek.

  "Thank you Tristan." He shakes his head and gets me a bowl from the cabinet. I fill it with cold water and grab a few ice cubes out of freezer, putting them in the bowl and swirling them around. I get my own glass of ice water and sit at the island. I hear Tristan chuckling so I raise an eyebrow in question.

  "Why in the world did you give him ice cubes?" he asks.

  "Why wouldn't I? I like ice water, he probably does too. Dogs aren't that different from people you know." I state.

  He laughs harder. "For one, that isn't a dog, it's a wolf, and I've never seen anybody give a wolf iced water."

  I look back to the dog. It sure looks like a dog. "How do you know he's a wolf?" I ask.

  "Trust me, that's no dog. It's a wolf. He's probably not even house broken," He smirks when he says this. The dog or wolf growls at him.

  I hop down from my seat and kneel beside the wolf. "It's okay," I tell the wolf, stroking his silky fur again. "He didn't mean it. I'm new here too. We'll figure it out together." The wolf nuzzles his face into mine and it makes me giggle. I stand, glaring at Tristan as I leave the room with the wolf on my heels.

  We walk around the house, looking into rooms to see what they are. We come across a set of large oak double doors. I open one and peek my head through. It's dark so I can't see what's in here. The wolf nudges my leg, pushing me into the room. I leave the door open for light.

  Finding a table with a lamp, I pull the little cord. The amount of light it gives off is small but it's enough to spot a light switch beside the door. As soon as the overhead lights come on I let out a shocked gasp. It's a library! I jump up and down, letting out a squeal of delight. "Mr. Wolf, we found a library! Can you believe this?" I hug his neck and he licks my face.

  Rows and rows of books line the walls with shorter shelves in the middle. No way is this normal. I run my fingers over the bindings, walking down the aisles, exploring my new found treasure. There are several seating areas, one with a grouping of big pillows in front of a floor to ceiling window. Looks like the perfect spot for reading.

  I search the shelves for a book. I find a nice thick one and call for the wolf to follow me. I sit Indian style and the wolf props his head up on my thigh. I decide to read aloud so the wolf won't get bored and wonder around. We stay that way for hours. With me reading to the wolf, with one hand on the book and one hand petting his head. I eventually shift so I'm laying down propped up on my elbows, the wolf snuggled into my side. I expect him to drift off but he keeps his eyes on me the whole time.

  CHAPTER 6

  The next thing I know, I'm being shaken awake. Remy's gruff voice calls my name. "Kitten, thank God! We've been looking all over the house for you. Why are you sleeping in here?" He asks in an annoyed tone.

  I sit up and look around. "Where is my wolf?" I ask.

  "Remy looks stunned for a moment. “What wolf? What are you talking about?"

  "I found a wolf at your back door. I thought he was a dog but Tristan said he was a wolf. He said I could keep him. He was right here with me when I dozed off."

  Remy bites his bottom lip. He looks just as mad as Tristan did. "Are you sure you didn't dream the whole thing?" He has the nerve to ask.

  I huff. "Yes I'm sure, I'm not crazy. Are you sure you didn't see him?" I ask. I feel like crying. My wolf left me?

  He must see the tears that threaten to fall. He reaches out and tucks my hair behind my ear. "I'll help you look for him, come on." He pulls me to standing and walks with his hand at the small of my back to the door. We search every room we come across but still no wolf.

  Later, I'm sitting at the dining room table, pushing food around my plate. We couldn't find him and I'm positive someone must have let him out an
d he ran away. I must be the worst pet owner in the world. Less than a day and I lose my dog. Wolf. Maybe he ran away because I didn't feed him? Why didn't I feed him!? I wipe a tear away and give up playing with my food.

  "Want me to make you something else Kitten?" Tristan asks me. I shake my head no. I look up and around. The guys are sharing looks between each other and giving me sympathetic looks. Finn, I notice, just stares at his plate, pushing food around like I am. I lost a wolf, what the heck happened to him?

  Since I'm not eating and he's not eating I ask him, "Hey Finn? Do you want to go for a walk with me?"

  He starts to answer when Remy speaks up, "You shouldn't leave the house when it's dark out Kitten. It's dark out. Besides, Finn has some things to take care of tonight." He glares in Finn's direction. Finn looks up at me with a guilty look.