Songbird Caged

by Lisa Edward

  How could Cole go home with them after everything that had happened between us? Was this an indication of what a relationship would have been like? As soon as we have an argument, he goes and sleeps with someone out of spite? Well, thank goodness I had found out now before it was too late. It hurt now, but it would have been a hundred times worse to find out later that he was a cheat.

  I finally stepped out of the shower when the water turned cold. My phone was ringing again. I ignored it, again.

  I finally checked my phone. There were three missed calls from Cole, but no voice messages.

  I tossed the phone on the bed while I pulled on some jeans and a T-shirt. The phone buzzed with a text message.

  Stop ignoring me and answer the phone

  I was just throwing the phone back on the bed when it rang again. I pressed the ignore button.

  The phone beeped.

  ANSWER THE DAMN PHONE TARA

  “Don’t text yell at me,” I said under my breath. Then replied simply with;

  NO!

  I’M COMING OVER

  YOU’RE NOT WELCOME

  I NEED 2 C U

  I DON’T WANT 2 C U……..EVER!!!!!

  There was a pause, and I thought finally, he’d given up. No such luck. The phone beeped again.

  Please let me explain

  Sighing, I sat on the edge of the bed while I typed out;

  There’s nothing to explain. Why would you choose me when you can have 2 girls? You made your choice, I hope they were worth it.

  I left my phone on the bed then went over to Jason’s. At least if Cole called or came over, I wouldn’t be home.

  JAY STRODE purposefully into the bar and straight over to me. He gave me a quick hug before getting to business.

  “Have you seen Cole?” he asked urgently.

  I shook my head. I didn’t know how much Jay knew about what had happened, and I didn’t want to discuss it with him. It was between Cole and me, and it was embarrassing enough without everyone knowing that Cole had stood me up. When it had come to the crunch, and I was finally ready to give myself to him, he had chosen mind-numbing sex that meant nothing over being with me.

  “He hasn’t been to rehearsals, and he missed a gig last night. I can’t get hold of him.”

  He was looking at me like I should have all the answers, but I didn’t.

  “Have you been to his apartment? I know you’re on the list at the front desk,” I asked, trying to be helpful.

  “I tried that. He’s told Phil that he doesn’t want to be disturbed by anyone.”

  That bothered me. It was unlike him to miss a gig, but I knew how close he was with Jay. For him to shut everyone out, there must be something seriously wrong.

  “Okay,” I said, trying to formulate a plan on the fly. “I’ll get my bag and meet you at the car. We can head over there now, and see if Phil will let us in.”

  Phil greeted us with his usual professional manner. I asked him if Cole was in, and he hesitated before nodding his head once. Strange behaviour, but I let it slide.

  I asked if we could go up. Phil looked at me like he was bursting to tell me something, but instead just politely informed us that Mr Michaels had requested no visitors.

  Damn, if I was living here I could have insisted, but I had moved back home so had to go along with Cole’s instructions.

  “Okay, what’s going on, Phil?” I crossed my arms over my chest, and gave him my I mean business look.

  He leaned towards us over the desk. “He has only been out once since—” He hesitated. “—since you ran out the other morning.”

  Jay frowned at me. “What happened with you two the other morning?”

  Sighing, I turned to Jay. “I came here after Ice Pick and waited for Cole, but he never showed up. He went home with the two girls instead. He turned up at five in the morning looking guilty as sin when he saw me.”

  “He didn’t go home with those girls.” He paused. “Well, he did drive them home, but nothing happened. He stayed at my place.”

  Now I was really confused. I rubbed my forehead, trying to make sense of what was going on.

  Jay looked at me as realisation dawned on him. “Oh shit, Tara, you thought he slept with them, didn’t you?”

  Frowning, I asked, “Didn’t he?”

  He shook his head. “He went to their place, but as soon as he got there he left. Said he couldn’t pull a Paris, didn’t even get out of the car. He turned up at my place and we sat up all night drinking, and talking about you. He was pretty broken up, thought he’d fucked up big time, but I told him you would forgive him if he talked to you.” He looked at me. “Did he talk to you?”

  I closed my eyes, and shook my head. “He tried to, but I told him I didn’t ever want to see him again.” I bit my lip as I said it. The look on Jay’s face said it all.

  We had both fucked up big time.

  I turned to Phil. “Phil, please, we need to go up.”

  “I’m sorry, Miss O’Connell. I can leave Mr Michaels a message to let him know you were here, but I can’t let you up.”

  Jay and I turned to walk out the door.

  “Miss O’Connell,” Phil called. “May I say something?”

  I nodded.

  He looked around, then leaned in. “His parents were here yesterday, and his father looked upset, like he’d been crying. Said something about ‘Pops’.”

  Oh, that wasn’t good. I looked at Jay, and his expression mirrored my own. I had a gut-wrenching feeling that Cole wasn’t just shutting himself away because of me. Something had happened with his beloved Pops.

  Jay pulled out his phone, and got onto the Internet. There were several news articles relating to the death of the legendary Victor Michaels.

  I called Cole straight away. He didn’t answer. I tried again; still no answer.

  I sent him a text.

  Just heard about Pops, R U OK?

  I waited for the longest time while Jay read through the articles on the various websites.

  Finally a response.

  NO, not OK. Not OK about anything.

  My heart ached for him. I hesitated. It was worth a shot.

  Do u want company?

  I waited so long that I was sure he wasn’t going to respond.

  I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry about everything, Tara. I need some time alone to get my head around what a fuck-up I am.

  I knew that was the end of our ‘conversation’.

  “When’s the funeral, Jay?” I asked, putting my phone back in my pocket.

  “Tomorrow at four pm, at the cathedral. Do you want to go together, or should I meet you there?”

  The turnout at the funeral was like nothing I had seen before. The cathedral seated over five hundred people from what I had been told, and it was standing-room only when we arrived. By the time the funeral started, there were masses of people outside as well, listening to the service on speakers that had been set up.

  Jay and I found a vacant piece of tiled floor to stand on in the back corner, and looked around in awe. The cathedral was massive, with huge stained-glass windows all around. It was really beautiful, and if we had been there for any other reason, I would have taken great delight in exploring.

  We watched as Cole, his parents, and Prue and her parents, entered from a side door, and took their seats on the pew in the front row. Jay and I looked at each other, and rolled our eyes at the sight of Prue latched onto Cole’s arm. Now that Pops was gone, Cole was even wealthier than he had been before, and I knew there was no way Prue would be letting him go.

  I wanted to go to Cole, but I would have to wait until the service was over and try to catch his eye. He looked so absolutely miserable, that I started crying just looking at him. I didn’t care what had happened between us a few days ago, I just wanted to cradle him in my arms the way he had done for me so many times in the past. Just hold him, and reassure him that things would get better.

  The minister came out, and everyone was silent. Y
ou could have heard a pin drop.

  Various people went to the lectern to read verses and speak about their experiences with the amazing man we were there to honour. Just when I thought I couldn’t shed any more tears, the minister said there was a DVD that Pops had asked to be played, and they wheeled in a huge flat-screen television.

  I felt a chill run down my spine as an image of Pops appeared on the screen. He had known he was losing his fight against cancer, and had recorded this message to his loved ones only a few days before he’d passed away.

  “Hello, one and all. If you are watching this, well, the bastard cancer has got the better of me.”

  There was a murmur as people looked around uncomfortably, not sure how to take his remark. I smiled. It was so like Pops, a feisty old man, right to the end.

  “I have a few things I want to say to a few people. The rest of you can listen if you wish. It’s up to you. Firstly, to my son.”

  All eyes turned to Cole’s dad.

  “I have travelled the world, and had great success. But my greatest success story is you. You have brought so much joy to my life in so many ways. I can remember when you were little, and I was travelling for my career. I know I wasn’t there as much as I should have been, but you were always carried with me in my heart. You have grown to be an admirable father in your own right, and I couldn’t be more proud of your achievements.”

  I looked around. There were people dabbing at their eyes, and I joined them.

  “Next, to my grandson, Cole. Yes, I’m calling him Cole, not Victor, because he prefers Cole. Deal with it, Lucinda.”

  He leaned in to the camera. “Cole, for goodness sake, tell her how you feel before it’s too late.”

  He leaned back in his chair, and shook his head. “Cole, my boy, you come from a long line of stubborn men. We have many faults, but there’s one thing I can tell you for sure; you will only fall in love once. You can fight it, you can deny it, but eventually it’s going to win, so just give in to it and be done with it.”

  He paused, lost in thought for a moment. “I remember the second I met your grandmother. She was waiting to get on the bus as I was getting off. I took one look at her, turned around, and got straight back on. I sat on the seat beside her; I knew she was the one, and I pursued her until she let me catch her.

  “It was the same with your parents. Your dad was like you, if you know what I mean.” He leaned in and winked. “But your mother was his one and only, although I could never understand why. It’s the same for you, Cole, she’s your once-in-a-lifetime, and you have to tell her before she slips through your fingers.”

  I looked over at Jay. He was watching my face, and winked at me.

  People throughout the cathedral were whispering and looking around, trying to work out who ‘she’ was. I looked over at Cole. He had his head in his hands, and his shoulders were shaking. My hand went to my mouth when I realised he was crying. Not just the odd tear, but really sobbing.

  “I remember when you met her. You came to see me, and told me you had met someone special. You had opened the door for her at the gym. Do you remember what you told me? Your eyes met, and you felt like you couldn’t breathe, but you’d also never felt so alive.”

  Oh my God, now I couldn’t breathe. He really was talking about me.

  “So, to the young lady in question. Tara, he will screw up, I have no doubt. He will run, he will struggle to accept his feelings, but you have to persevere, because once he commits it will be for life.”

  He smiled. “In fact, I have so much faith in the two of you ending up together that I’ve made two last-minute changes to my will.”

  There were gasps, and I swear Prue nearly fainted.

  “The first is that if Cole marries Prue, all my money that was going to Cole will be donated to the nursing home that has seen out my last days. I know that this won’t bother Cole in the slightest, but how do you feel about it, Prue?” His eyes were positively glowing as he asked the question. He had been against Cole being forced to marry Prue, and this was his final stand in protest.

  “The second change is smaller, but I feel, significant. I’m leaving all my books to Tara. Your love of books is admirable, my dear girl, and I want you to share that love with Cole, but please don’t live your life through books as you once did. Live your life with Cole, and make every second count.”

  He stopped while he coughed. He coughed so hard I thought that was going to be the end of the DVD. Finally, he recovered.

  “So, as a dying man’s final wish, I would like my future granddaughter-in-law to play me a song. I hope she’s sitting there beside you, Cole, holding your hand and comforting you, instead of that pretentious spoilt brat your mother is trying to force upon you. If not …” He shook his head. “… go after her.”

  People were looking around, waiting for someone to go and play the piano as requested.

  I was looking around, wondering what I should do now. I cast my eye back at the screen, as if waiting for Pops to instruct me.

  He did.

  “Come on, Tara, don’t be shy. I don’t want you to play something of mine; that would be too obvious. I want you to play something of yours, from within you. Just sit down and play. I know you can do it.”

  The minister tiptoed over to Cole, and asked him something I couldn’t make out. Cole just shook his head, and then covered his face again.

  Were they discussing whether I was there or not?

  I was just debating what to do when Jay gave me a nudge. “It’s now or never, Tars.”

  Apprehensively, I stepped out from the crowd of people to the centre aisle. As I started to slowly make my way towards the front of the cathedral, heads turned, and a murmuring seemed to follow me.

  I tried to stay focused on the minister until Cole turned, and seeing me, stood, and made his way to stand beside him.

  Now I couldn’t take my eyes off Cole.

  He looked immaculate in his suit and tie, and the saddest I had ever seen him. His eyes were red and puffy, but through it all he managed a half smile as our eyes met.

  If I had been dressed in white and carrying a bouquet this may have felt like my wedding day. All I needed was the wedding march to be playing.

  But I wasn’t. I was dressed in the black Versace dress Cole had bought me. As I drew nearer, he seemed to notice the dress, running his eyes over it with a small smile, the love in his eyes shining through his sorrow.

  Finally, I reached Cole. Up close I could see just how miserable he really looked as the tears continued to roll down his cheeks.

  “I can’t believe you came,” he managed to choke out, before pulling me into him. “Thank you.”

  “I’m always here for you, no matter what.”

  “I thought I’d lost you,” he said huskily. “I can’t lose you, Tara.”

  I stroked his tear-stained cheek. “I’m not going anywhere, babe.”

  The minister interrupted our reunion, and reminded us that about seven hundred or more people were waiting for me to play something.

  Right. What the hell was I going to play?

  I pulled Cole up to the piano, and instructed him to sit beside me. If I was going to fall flat on my face, I wanted to do it with him alongside me.

  Taking a deep breath, I cleared my mind and played the story of my life.

  “This is me,” I said to Cole. “This is how I feel.”

  As I played and the melody changed from light to dark, from melancholy to hopeful, I whispered to Cole where I was in each stage of the last twelve months.

  I played how I felt when I had met Riley. How I felt when we had broken up, and finally, when I had lost him forever.

  “And you hear the underlying rhythm?” I asked him.

  He nodded.

  “That’s you. You’re always there. You’re the one constant in my life. The one thing I can always rely on when everything else turns to shit. Without you, my music is incomplete.”

  COLE JOINED Jay and me at the bac
k of the cathedral once I had finished playing. As we walked hand-in-hand past the front pew where Cole’s parents were seated, his dad gave us a little wink. His mother just scowled. But hey, I was used to it, so it didn’t bother me. I knew there were plenty more where that came from, and I would have to deal with them, but right now all that was important was Cole, and helping him through this time of loss.

  The three of us called into Songbirds for a much-needed drink after the funeral. It was a karaoke night, and we sat back with Nicole, allowing ourselves to switch off as a mixed group of people took to the stage to perform.

  “I want to sing,” Cole announced with a grin. He had had a few beers, and was beginning to accept the fact that Pops had been in pain towards the end, so while it was terribly heartbreaking to lose him, it was for the best that he was now at peace.

  I smiled back. It was so good to see his face light up again as the grief drained away.

  He took off his suit jacket and tie, and undid the top couple of buttons on his shirt. With a quick kiss on the cheek and a wink, he went up on stage. He whispered something to Marcus, and then stood in front of the microphone.

  Jay leaned in to me. “This will be interesting.”

  “Why?” I asked curiously. He sang all the time, and we all knew how great his voice was.

  “He’s wanted to do a cover song for you for a while. I’m just wondering if it’s the song he’s picked.”

  I raised my eyebrows, and sat up excitedly. Was it for me, and if so, what was the message?

  “Hi everyone,” his deep sexy voice resonated into the microphone. Immediately, the girls in the audience swooned.

  “A very wise man told me today to tell a special someone how I feel about her, before it’s too late.”

  He beamed at me, sending my heart-rate into overdrive.

  “Tara—I love you.”

  The music started, and I recognised the beat straight away as the Hoodoo Gurus ‘Like Wow—Wipeout!’

  But I couldn’t listen to the words. The only words I could hear were Cole telling me, in front of a bar full of people, that he loved me.

  I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face, or the happy tears from my eyes.

  Nicole was nudging me, wanting to get out of her seat and dance, so I obliged, jumping up and dancing next to our table along to Cole’s dedication.