The Years Between (Sister Series, 1.5)

by Davis, Leanne

  She hung up the leashes and put water out for the dogs, ignoring Bella’s nervous fidgeting. “Jessie, will give me a second and just talk to me?

  “Why? Why do we need to talk about it? You made your feelings clear. Did you all go and view it after I left?”

  Bella’s eyes rounded. “No. We did no such thing.”

  “Look, Bella we have nothing in common. You can never understand why I would do that, and I’m really tired of being sorry for it. I barely know you; and I’m just not up to apologizing anymore.”

  “I read some of the stuff. About Mexico. About your father. About what he did to you.”

  “Yes. Well, great. What do you want me to say about it?”

  Bella frowned. “Why won’t you even talk to me? You’ve already dismissed me before we’ve even had a conversation.”

  “We don’t need to have a conversation for me to know how this will end.”

  Bella shook her head, “What if you’re wrong? I don’t want to stop being friends with you because of this. But you’re not willing to even talk to me!”

  Jessie paused from petting Bullet in her efforts to avoid looking at Bella. “What do you want to talk about, Bella? My shocking past? How could I do that? Or just order me to stay away from your husband? What?”

  Bella stepped forward and touched a hand to her shoulder. “Look, I don’t know what kinds of people you’ve dealt with in the past, but I am not going to threaten you to stay away from Finn. You’ve never glanced at him for more than a quick thank you or hello. And he’s never done anymore than the same to you.”

  “He might now though.”

  Bella sighed. “So, this is you being totally like what some of those articles said? I want to know what happened to you. I want to be your friend, not an interrogator for the salacious nature of whatever you had to endure. Will you stop being so rude, and sit down and talk to me?”

  Jessie finally sighed and let Bullet go. She waved for Bella to sit at the kitchen table. She sat across from her. Bella softly said, “Tell me about it.”

  Jessie let out a breath as her heart squeezed. It hurt so much still, after all these years to admit what her “father” had done to her. “My father was not a nice man. He did bad things to me. I acted out in my teens because of it. I did lots of bad things. Things I can’t take back, or take off the internet. The sex tape being just one of them.”

  Bella’s eyes filled with apprehension. “Bad things? Like he molested you?”

  “No. He let his friends do that. He got kickbacks and promoted his career while deriving some kind of power from it. He was an important man. He knew senators, governors, the president and other high-ranking military brass. He decided I was fair game for some of them.”

  Bella shut her eyes. “My God. How many times?”

  Jessie shrugged as she glanced out the front window. A dog trotted past. A woman was coming out her front door, brief case in hand. A yellow car idled in a driveway. “I don’t know. It was five different men. But just one time was never enough for any of them.”

  “And so you acted out to rebel against him? Why didn’t you tell someone?”

  She shrugged. “There was no one to tell. No one would have believed me. They were well-respected men, all married with their own families and established careers and reputations. I was always trouble. I had no voice. I had no other family. I had no one.”

  “What about your sister?”

  “She was Daddy’s girl. I didn’t actually think she’d believe me. I never told her until I was almost twenty-one.”

  “Who found out then?”

  “Will.”

  Bella jerked back. “How?”

  “That’s an entirely different story, believe it or not. The only connection they share is getting involved with the sadistic, psychotic man who claimed to be my father.”

  “Mexico?”

  “Yes.”

  Bella suddenly reached across the table and squeezed her hand. “My God. Your childhood… how are you even here now, being as normal as you are?

  Jessie stared hard at Bella and started to laugh. “Are you kidding me? Normal? Me? I’m about the least normal person I’ve ever met. Do you know what cutting is?”

  Bella’s eyebrows rose. “Yeah, sure. I had a roommate in college who used to do that to herself.”

  Jessie jerked back in surprise. “Oh. You did?” She rarely heard about other people doing it.

  “Well, actually, I knew more than one. It's a little too common for comfort at that age. Why? Didn’t you know anyone else? I’m assuming that’s why you brought it up.”

  “No. I thought I was a deranged freak. I caused so much trouble, I was pulled from school and never went back. I tried college for a quarter, but flunked out. So, I was never around other girls much.”

  “So you cut?”

  “Yes. I started when I was sixteen. It helped me deal with everything.”

  Bella nodded. “When you first started getting raped?”

  Jessie stared at their linked hands; surprised Bella seemed okay to continue talking about it. Who heard of such things as bleeding yourself like a fucking leech? That’s often what Jessie used to think of as she sliced herself. Didn’t leeches like blood? So did she, and didn’t that make her one too?

  “Yeah.”

  “What happened in Mexico?”

  “My father hired this group of thugs. We never really knew what they were. Will believed they were drug traffickers. I embarrassed my father one too many times, so he arranged to have me kidnapped in order to scare me. Stop me. Intimidate me. I don’t really know what he thought he’d accomplish. So they took me, locked me up, and… hurt me.”

  Bella’s tone was breathless, “And Will?”

  “My father told my sister to pick a trustworthy soldier she knew. That was Will, if you ever met him, you’d agree. They sent him down there to get me.”

  Bella sat back, her shoulders sagging as if deflating with the breath she let out. “And you ended up married to him? Wow.”

  “It is wow that we’re married. It was a long road to get here.”

  “What did they do to you in Mexico?”

  Jessie shook her head. “I only share that with Will.”

  “Because he was there?”

  “Yes, he witnessed it.”

  “Did he get them? Who did it to you?”

  Jessie shook her head. “He got a few. But no details. It was unofficial. He could get in trouble for it. He did whatever he could. Which was more than anyone else. He got me out. He found out what my father did to me and took me in. He saved me more times than a person could ever expect to be saved.”

  Bella’s eyes filled with tears. She leaned forward again. “Jessie, I would never judge you for that. I mean, I can’t even fathom what you’ve had to endure. You have to know, it’s not your fault. I promise you, nothing changes from Finn and my perspectives. In fact, if anything, it makes me want to be around you more. I respect you more too. And I really have to love Will for doing that.”

  She smiled slightly. “Yes, he’s easy to love for that.”

  “So, you get we’re still friends, right? We are going to be lifelong friends; and if I didn’t know it before then, I do now.”

  Jessie eyed her. Her story usually turned people away. “I really can’t believe you figured out a way to get Will contacted.”

  “I didn’t know what else to do. I was so worried about you. And now, I know I was justified.”

  “I don’t think your friends will see it that way.”

  Bella squeezed her hand. “If they don’t, then they aren’t my friends anymore.”

  “Do you mean that?”

  Bella nodded, and got up, skirting around the table before pulling Jessie against her. “I mean that,” she whispered. “You need to get some new friends if you don’t know that already.”

  She hugged Bella back. She let a select few touch her: Will and Lindsey. Once in awhile, Noah could hug her. Now Bella too. Progress. �
��I really do. I need new friends.”

  “Will you come over this weekend? Logan wants to apologize and we’d all like to have the dinner party over again.”

  “You know some will have gone home to watch it.”

  Bella nodded. “That must be hard.”

  “Yes, it is, actually.”

  “Still, you can’t hibernate because of it. Everyone makes mistakes. Will is gone. Your sister is gone. Please, let us be your friends.”

  She closed her eyes, shuddering. She was trying to picture facing the room of Bella’s friends with the sex tape now out. But Bella was right; everyone who mattered was gone, and her being alone and isolated all the time usually preceded the bad things that crawled into her brain, and lay the seeds that easily sprouted, urging her to do bad things.

  “All right.”

  Bella beamed. “You and I are friends now; I don’t care two shits about your past, or how much you decide to tell me about it. I care only that I love to talk to you. I can’t wait to tell you the gossip I hear, and I love your funny, sarcastic, off-hand comments. I also fully trust you around my husband. He’s your friend too.”

  She frowned. “Not many men are what I consider my friends.”

  “Mine is. Besides, if Will were here, wouldn’t you trust me with him?”

  “Of course.”

  “Well, give me the same credit.”

  “I never had a friend like you.”

  “I know, right!? But none of my friends are anything like you, and I love it.”

  The first time Jessie saw Finn again, they shuffled and stared at their own feet, totally trapped in impossible embarrassment. Finn turned red and mumbled a short hello. It took several such awkward meetings before he too, felt better about being around her. She needed his help when the furnace broke. When she asked him to come over and look at it, he cheerfully did so. From that moment on, they found the easy rhythm they shared before. Logan apologized under Bella’s watchful eye, and Jessie was shocked when Bella’s sister-in-law took her arm in confidence. She said how sorry she was for her husband to act like such a “freaking prude.” And strangely, several of Bella’s friends included Jessie in their invitations, and eagerly talked to her. They asked her to go shopping with them, or to lunch on the weekends, and to dinners during the week. Most of Bella’s friends did not have kids, but were busy professionals just starting married life, or dutifully working to improve it.

  Yet they all seemed to like her. Finally, Jessie had… friends. Not just one, but an entire group who invited her to all their get-togethers. They went out drinking together, or stayed in and played silly games. They laughed and talked and gossiped with her; and not once, did her history, or her name, or her tragedy become the center of any of it. It was like having the freshest breath suddenly blown into her life.

  It was like finally having a life.

  Chapter Ten

  Will’s favorite thing to do was surprise Jessie. He did it when she was waiting for him in his apartment, and again now. He did it because there were so few things he could do that brought her happiness. When he came home, she was happy. Besides, it only delayed him for a few days. He still talked to her, but she never knew all the details of what he was doing, or where he was.

  She was in the back yard, working with Soldier. She had the big, lumbering dog sitting while she back stepped away from him, and turned until she hid the bumper, without the dog noticing exactly where she put it. Then she blew a whistle and the dog turned. She blew it twice and pointed which direction. Soldier shot off, and within thirty seconds, had the bumper in his mouth, taking it directly back to Jessie. He dropped it gently into her hand at her command. She grinned wildly, dispelling the stern look she was using previously for the dog. She dropped to her knees, which were already grass-stained, and wrapped her arms around the dog’s enormous head. She rubbed his ears and praised him with all her might.

  She didn’t know Will was there. He was leaning on the chain link fence, resting his elbows on top. He wore his fatigues and boots. She had on grubby jeans and a t-shirt. Her hair was drawn back into a ponytail that bobbed around her head as she talked to her dog. She always talked to her dog, and maintained a constant, running monologue.

  She had never looked so perfect to him.

  He glanced to the side when he heard a noise. There stood a woman, tall and dark-headed. She was grinning maniacally at him.

  “You must be Will,” the woman said, her wide grin nearly blinding him.

  Will squinted against the sun and nodded. “Bella, I presume?”

  She nodded her head up and down. “She doesn’t know you’re here, does she?”

  He shook his head, and she nearly clapped her hands together in glee. “Oh my God! It’s so romantic. I can’t stand it. But I’ll leave you two alone. I’ll go inside. I swear, I won’t watch. Just… I couldn’t wait to meet you.”

  He watched the woman spin on her heel before running back to her house and disappearing, going so far as to draw her blinds after she waved at him. Wow, Jessie made a friend. A nice friend. A loyal friend. That was good. Really, really good.

  He turned back to her. She was still talking to Soldier, heading now towards the deck.

  Their deck. Their house. Their dog. Their blooming garden. He found himself smiling; who knew they had a garden? He found it hard to believe what he saw before him. And all of it was just waiting for his return, under the careful watch of Jessie.

  She suddenly stilled and her entire body seemed to turn into a statue. Her chest rose and fell sharply. She pivoted on her heel. Her eyes scanned the fence line until she found him. His heart might have exploded in his chest; he was so excited to see her. Her eyes widened, and her jaw dropped.

  Fuck it! Grabbing the top of the fence, he bounded over it in a swift, lithe jump. He raced toward her as she suddenly ran and flung herself at him. He picked her up off the ground and nearly suffocated her with the tight embrace against him. She started to cry and her tears wet his shirt where she buried her face against his neck. Her hands clung to his shoulders and her little chest shook against his. She finally lifted her face to his and he kissed her long and deep, tongue and all. He sometimes just couldn’t help it. He knew it was better for her without it, but there were times when he had to be as close as physically possible to her. This was one of those times. Her hands reached up around him, pushing his hat off and tousling his hair.

  She finally drew back enough to stare at him. Her eyes gazed at his forehead, his eyes, his nose, and his mouth. She shook her head. “Why did you do that to me? Why do you always surprise me?”

  He beamed. “Because it almost makes up for how long I have to suffer without seeing that smile of yours.”

  “You prolong my angst, just so you can see me smile?”

  “I do. I deserve it, don’t I?” He squeezed her next to him. “God, it’s good to see you.”

  “You caught me training the dog! I’m so dirty. Not how I wanted you to see me. You always do this to me.”

  “Always? How many separations have there been?”

  “You caught me fat and with horses the first time. Then, crying over my father and you…”

  “Just now? I got to watch my healed, pretty wife playing happily in my back yard. If you don’t think this is what I’ve been dreaming about, then you don’t yet understand how I feel about you.”

  She blushed. After all that they shared between them, how did she still manage to blush with him? “No, I probably will never quite understand how you could feel that way about me.”

  He looked down when he felt something wiggling at his feet. It was a black and white little mutt. He raised his head, and his eyebrows rose. “You got another dog, didn’t you?”

  She ducked her head and smiled. “Uh-huh. This one was abused and needed…”

  “You.” He leaned down to pat the dog. It turned and ran off, cowering as if he just raised his leg to kick it.

  “He is skittish. He’s barely gotten used
to me handling him.”

  “And you didn’t mention our new pet to me because?”

  “Because I wanted to surprise you.”

  “How many will I end up owning?” he asked, raising his eyebrows. “Remember when you said one is the limit because the vet bills were too much?”

  She smiled cheekily. “Yes, but I have a job now, so that total rose higher.”

  He eyed her. “To how many?”

  She leaned back and took his hand. “Come inside.”

  “Jess-ie?” he insisted.

  “Two cats. But they’re cheap. They were homeless. Strays. Beaten. Hungry. What else could I do?”

  “I guess we really will own a farm soon.”

  “Come inside, Will,” she said, pulling his hand. He let her lead him inside, and took in a deep, satisfied breath of happy. He glanced around the small house, which he could take in with almost one sweep of the place, it was so tiny. But he didn’t care. It was home. For once, he came home to someone. Something. Someplace. And all of it mattered to him. The house was clean and tidy and decorated, looking like real people lived there. He didn’t know until that moment it was something he wanted permanently in his life.

  Front and center on their kitchen wall was the calendar, with each passing day dutifully crossed off in bright red ink. Not long. Not long at all. He made it this many days closer. No death and no new injuries.

  “I met your friend, Bella. She caught me Peeping Tomming you at the fence line. She rushed inside to give us privacy. Her smile suggested she thought I was the greatest man ever for my romantic gesture. I really think I’ll like her.”

  Jessie laughed. It was a pretty laugh that filled the room and made him grin in response. There were so many times when he had to go for days without hearing that laugh. “I see. Maybe you should leave her all alone, and surprise her after several months; and then we can see how romantic she finds it.”

  “You know you’re happy I did it.”

  Turning, she pushed herself against him, and he held her in a giant bear hug. “I am happy you did it. I know a girl’s wedding day is supposed to be the happiest day of her life, but this moment right now, with you at the fence, I think is my most favorite moment of my life.”