A Time for Hope

by T Gephart

  “Yeah, so I’m in good company,” she beamed. “Now if you, my fellow nut case, would be so good to put some clothes on, we can go and exercise some economic stimulation.”

  Alex folded his arms, his delicious half grin flirting on his lips, while I wrapped my arms around his waist.

  “You heard the woman.”

  “Alex...” I breathed into his chest. “Thank you.”

  He unfolded his arms as he absorbed me into his body. “Baby, I realized that while it kills me to let you out of my sight, it’s not healthy. We both need this. That doesn’t mean I want you taking unnecessary risks or that I won’t be losing my mind until I know you are home safe, but I want you to go and have fun. Get back in the game.”

  “And it’s not like Godzilla isn’t coming with us,” Taylah interjected. “Which incidentally I’m not that pissed about. ‘Cause let’s face it, the man has major arm capacity to help us carry shit.”

  “Yes, DarNell will be joining you.” Alex laughed. “It’s the only stipulation. Like Taylah said, think of his carrying capacity.”

  I pushed my lips firmly against Alex’s mouth as emotions flooded through my body. It was like finally exhaling. I was going out, doing something normal. Well, as normal as it was ever going to get for me.

  “Look Lexi, if you’re going to be showing your gratitude, I’ll be happy to step out as long as you make it a quickie,” Taylah coughed.

  Alex lightly grabbed my chin as he pulled away. “Go, we wouldn’t want to plunge into another GFC.” He playfully swatted my arse as he turned to walk away.

  “OK Tay, give me a few minutes to get decent.”

  “Just put clothes on girl. If you are going to try to get decent we’ll be here awhile,” she smirked as I passed her.

  I ran into the bedroom and attacked my wardrobe in search of something to wear. I hadn’t had much interest in clothes lately. My post-hospital daily wardrobe consisted of jeans, yoga pants or shorts, topped off with one of Alex’s t-shirts. In all honesty there hadn’t been any need or inclination to dress up.

  I slipped on a bright green maxi dress; its cool flowing fabric falling gently around my curves. It dipped low at the back so I was unable to wear a bra, but its halter neck provided ample support for my assets. My mane of brown curls tumbled down my naked shoulders and it was both weird and nice to feel attractive again. A small feeling of dread washed through me as I applied my make-up. I wondered if I was going to be hounded by photographers while we were out. They’d ask questions, ask me about him, ask me about what had happened. Was this a mistake? No. I wouldn’t hide. I needed to get on with my life. Like a Band-Aid, I just needed to rip if off.

  Taylah called out to ask me if I was ready as I pulled on my favourite Mimco wedges and grabbed my handbag, leaving my hair loose, but grabbing a headband to keep it off my face.

  “Wow.” Alex’s lips twisted into a delicious half grin as he handed me my phone and sunglasses. “I think I’d rather come out with you than head to this meeting.”

  “Sorry Stone, but she’s mine today.” Taylah protested. “And we are going to spend an obscene amount of money, so best you aren’t around to witness it.”

  “Sounds good to me.” I pulled on my glasses before threading my arms around Alex’s neck as I gently kissed him goodbye.

  He hesitated a minute before letting me go. I knew it was hard for him to let me out of his sight. His fiercely protective urge simmered as his jaw tightened, the unspoken concern clouding his beautiful blue eyes. “Have a good time baby.”

  “I will baby. See you in a few hours.” I waved as Taylah pulled me through the doorway.

  DarNell was patiently waiting on the other side, ushering both Taylah and I toward the elevator. “Ladies.” He held the doors open for us as we entered, before joining us.

  “So Lex, where to first? Gucci? Armani? Versace? Or do you just want to start at the top of 5th Avenue and work our way down?” Taylah pushed her Jackie-O glasses back up the bridge of her nose.

  “Everywhere,” I breathed as DarNell pressed the button for the basement car park, shaking his head. I could tell this was not going to be nearly as exciting for him as it was for us.

  The doors flew open as we reached our destination, the shiny black Escalade parked just to the right of the elevator. TJ waved as we approached.

  “TJ, I hadn’t expected you to be here,” I smiled as I slipped into the back seat beside Taylah.

  “Hey Lexi. Yeah, we figured it would be easier for me to drop you guys off. I thought I’d save D the aggravation of gridlock,” he winked.

  I knew TJ’s presence had more to do with DarNell not wanting to be distracted from his assignment rather than him not wanting to deal with rogue motorists. I wasn’t sure if the directive had come from Alex or if he’d made the decision on his own, either way our entourage had grown. I tried not to let it irritate me, the fact that either of them thought that it was now necessary.

  This was my new reality. It wasn’t just that I was now married to a celebrity, it was because an animal, who I had once thought I’d loved, had torn the perception of safety from me. That relationship, which I had been certain I had left in the past, had come back to haunt me a few months ago when he had forced his way into my old apartment. He had taken such joy in my torment, not only sexually assaulting me, but beating me senseless, leaving no doubt that his intention was to kill me. And while I had survived, there is no way Alex would allow even the slightest chance of it happening again.

  DarNell climbed into the front passenger seat, and swiveled his head to check out the parking garage before giving TJ the all clear to pull out.

  The daylight glow came into focus as we neared the outer doorway and I took a deep breath as we ventured outside my sanctuary; the walls that had shut out the world for weeks. It had been necessary, my exclusion from the outside. In the absence of noise I was starting to find myself. I had even stopped resisting the therapy. And what do you know, the shit was actually starting to work.

  A few cameras snapped as the Escalade purred onto the streets. The dark tinted windows hindered the paparazzi’s opportunity of finding out who was inside and to my relief they didn’t follow. I wasn’t up to playing the whole cat and mouse game with shutterbugs.

  Taylah prattled on as we navigated through the congested streets, her usual colourful and detailed status report of my old apartment building’s tenants being the topic of conversation.

  “I swear, how dumb do you have to be to have an affair with your secretary?” She laughed, “It’s not like it’s the freaking 1990’s. Funny thing is Jack was looking for a little on the side and now he’s being well and truly screwed by his wife and the secretary. He’ll be lucky if he gets to keep anything more than that pathetic rug he tries to pass off as hair. Still can’t say that I’m upset because it not only gets rid of a clearly moronic douchebag, but also frees up that beautiful penthouse apartment that would be perfect for you and Alex. You’ve got to admit, it’s enough square footage to appease Rock Star and it means you’re back in the neighborhood. I see it as a complete win for all parties involved, except obviously not for Jack.” She giggled, amused by poor idiotic Jack’s misfortune.

  “And Lilly has totally had a boob job. She’s trying to palm it off like she just lost some weight so had to get a lift, but I can tell her tits are more inflated than the Goodyear Blimp.”

  She had me laughing easily as we made our way to Manhattan’s garment district. Those enviable streets between 5th and 9th Avenue had always excited me. Maybe I was shallow or maybe this was just one more thing for which I required therapy, but for me, shopping made me feel alive.

  “Can we do something else?” I hesitated at the door as TJ pulled up to the curb with the engine left idling.

  “You’re passing up shopping at Chanel? This outta be good,” Taylah mused as she waved TJ back onto the road. “Where to Lex?”

  “My old apartment.” I should probably just go shopping, spend an insan
e amount of money and forget everything, but there was something I wasn’t ready to let go of. I needed resolution and as sad as it was to admit, a new pair of shoes or dress wasn’t going to find it for me. I was either evolving or had totally lost my mind, but either way there was no turning back.

  Chapter 2

  Bad Ass Lexi

  IT WAS with muted interest that Taylah and DarNell watched me as we rode the elevator of my apartment building. Funnily enough, it didn’t feeling like it was my home either. I should be annoyed that I was feeling displaced, but there was a certain calm that came with the acceptance of my new reality. I had lost control and I was still kicking. My world hadn’t ended, despite me crumbling. Who knew that I would be OK with this? While I was no longer the old Lexi, the new Lexi that I had become was by far more adaptable, resilient and stronger than I’d ever been.

  “You forget something back at your old place? Or are we just going to visit that fine piece of man-candy who works for you? I never thanked you for moving him in either. Nicely played.” Taylah broke the silence in her typical fashion.

  “Yes, we’re going to see Matt,” I smirked, excited about the prospect of seeing my old friend. “I hope you don’t call him man-candy in front of Anna. I’m not sure she’d be OK with you ogling her boyfriend.”

  “I do not ogle, my friend. What I do is appreciate, and that man is like a tall glass of water on a hot day.” She mockingly fanned herself. “He runs… With his shirt off… A lot,” she added, arching her finely manicured brow.

  DarNell cleared his throat in case his looming hugeness, which filled the space between us, wasn’t a big enough tip off that he was still around. Clearly he wasn’t appreciating our serious discussion about my old roommate and dearest friend.

  The elevator binged as we reached our destination. Taylah waited for me to exit as I stepped into the hall. Matt came sprinting up the stairs beside us, his shirt noticeably absent.

  “Oh my god! Lexi!” He engulfed me in a hug, his sweaty torso crushing into my body as he wrapped his arms around me. “It’s so good to see you. Hey, Tay.”

  “It’s good to see you too.” I kissed him gently on the cheek, ignoring a beaming Taylah by my side.

  “Well, come on in. Anna’s at the office, I was heading there later.” He pulled out the key from his running shorts and slotted it into the door.

  “I’m not here to check up on you,” I qualified as Tay and I followed him through the doorway, while D waited outside. “But, I’m ready to come back. Head up the account. I know you’ve been picking up the slack, but it’s time and I need to do this.”

  “Of course, Lexi. We’d love to have you back. It’s always been your deal. I’ve just been keeping the chair warm for you.” While the sincerity of his smile lit up his face, it was hard to imagine him not being disappointed underneath. During my extended leave he had taken over operations of the whole kit and caboodle, and I had merely been overseeing the administration. He had excelled, as I knew he would, but I was ready to get back into the saddle.

  “There’s something else, and I need your help.” I cautioned as Taylah stared idly at his naked chest.

  “Sure Lex, you know I’d do anything for you. Are you reinstating your no pants clause?” His mouth twitched as he grabbed a t-shirt and pulled it over his head, hiding his chest’s muscular expanse.

  “I never revoked those clauses. I’m astounded you would risk such a breech.” I bit my lip playfully before my toned turned more serious. “There is something I need to know… When Alex and I were in Australia…” It had weighed on my mind for some time, but there had been more important issues to address, that is, getting my shit together. “Marcy knew we were there. I need to know how.”

  “Lexi, are you sure you want to go down that road?” He leaned up against the sofa, his mood no longer playful.

  “I need to do this. Just dig around, see what you find out. I’m not asking you to do anything illegal.”

  “Sure, I’ll see what I can find out,” he conceded. “But, you need to leave it to me. I don’t want Anna involved, or you for that matter.”

  “I’m relinquishing control.” I backed away with my palms out. I had no intention of interfering, not until I had the information I wanted.

  “I would like to believe that, but I’m smart enough to know better.” He shook his head softly with a gentle laugh. “I’ve missed you, Lex. Welcome back.”

  “Nice to be back. I’m going to head to the office, but I am going to go check something else out first,” my arms wrapped around his broad neck as I hugged him goodbye.

  “No problem, I’ll see you there. See ya Taylah.” He waved as I pulled Taylah from the apartment.

  “What do you mean you are going to work? This wasn’t the deal. What happened to spending obscene amounts of money? I’m very disappointed in you Lex,” Taylah huffed as we filed back into the hall.

  “Oh we are spending money my friend, in fact I’m planning on shelling out shitloads of money today.” DarNell stared at us as we made our way back to the elevator.

  “Shitloads isn’t a unit of measure sweet cheeks. And assuming it was, how do you propose to do that? I don’t see a mall in the hallway,” she pouted, her hands tightly on her hips.

  We shuffled into the elevator as the metal doors closed in front of us. DarNell instinctively reached to the bank of buttons ready to select the ground floor, but I stopped him and pressed P. “I’m buying the penthouse.”

  ~~~~

  My phone burst into life as Alex’s name lit up my screen. I was anything but surprised as I swiped my finger across my iPhone. “Hey baby.”

  “Did you just try and buy an apartment with your Amex?” He half laughed.

  “I didn’t think it had a limit, you did say this thing didn’t have a limit.” I looked over the property contract in front of me. Moving house just felt right, we were going somewhere where neither of us had history. It could only make this easier.

  “Yeah, well the bank called. I thought you were buying shoes?” he sounded amused which was good.

  “I figured I’d buy somewhere to put them instead.” The shoe storage capacity in this new place was amazing.

  “Your closet not big enough?” God he sounded good. It was like we were having a normal conversation. It had been way too long.

  “It will be after we sign for this bad boy. You will be pleased with my negotiating skills, though I’m going to need your autograph to sure up the deal. Banks are pedantic like that.”

  “Ummm babe, we should really let Sol look over the contract. You can’t just go buy a penthouse. When you girls said you were going to spend obscene amounts of money, I wasn’t expecting it to involve property. Don’t you think it’s a little extreme?” I heard his tone shift slightly.

  “Sol can kiss my arse.” Power Station’s lawyer and I had a long and unglorified history. “Think of this as an early birthday present for him. I’m sure he’ll invent nice new words to describe me.” I had already decided what I wanted to do and no one was going to talk me out of it.

  “No one touches your ass but me.” A low growl ripped through the phone. “If this is what you want, you’ve got it.”

  And just like that we were changing address. At least we would once the property settled, and Taylah and I had implemented some much needed changes.

  Taylah had been leaving not so subtle hints about the penthouse for weeks. With Matt and Anna already shacked up in my old place and a rock star husband in tow, my previous digs had no longer seemed appropriate. So after our quickie wedding, we had moved into Alex’s apartment, which of course was the logical choice, being that he actually owned his piece of real estate. Taylah had been undeterred by this tiny factoid as she continued her quest to get me back into the building. In truth, I had never envisioned living at Alex’s long term. Knowing it had been where other women had shared his bed just didn’t sit right with me. I know it was stupid to be jealous of his past—Lord knows I’d rivaled him wit
h my own—but ultimately we needed something that was ours. I’m almost positive he would not be OK with sharing a room with the ghosts of my previous bed partners.

  Enter Taylah Nixon, with the relator on speed dial. She already had the phone plastered to her ear as soon as the words had flown out of my mouth. We hadn’t even made it to the penthouse level, and she was demanding he meet us there so we could inspect the place. Taylah wanted us to move in, and I was very easily convinced. It just felt right.

  “Tell him I forbid him to pollute the space with any of his shitty old furniture,” she yelled toward the phone. There was really no need to relay the message—I’m fairly sure people in Brooklyn heard her.

  Alex laughed, a genuine throaty laugh. “Tell Taylah, as long as there is a studio I don’t care what obnoxious statement pieces she intends using. Bring me the papers baby, I’ll sign anything you want.”

  “I’m heading to the office now.” I couldn’t contain the smile in my voice. “I’ll get legal to give them a once over and then I’ll bring them to you to sign.”

  The Escalade continued its stop/start journey along the city grid as we inched our way through traffic. This was good. I had a plan, a direction, a renewed purpose. This had to be a good thing, didn’t it? I hadn’t been excited about anything in weeks. Dr. Hart had warned that now was not the time to make life-altering decisions, but my recovery was never going to be typical. Hell, it was hard enough to accept that I needed help, let alone actually being in therapy. I was making progress though and while my demons simmered quietly most of the time, I still needed to feel in control of my own journey.

  “He’s very amenable, that husband of yours. I like him. You should definitely keep him. He’s not bad to look at either, which is handy.” Taylah smirked, pleased we’d soon be neighbours again.

  “Yeah, he’s a keeper.” The wide stupid grin plastered across my face was hurting my cheeks.