Calling Mrs Claus

by Charlie Conwell

  Ann laughs, “She did have a nice little bit of champagne, but she is definitely ambitious.”

  They are interrupted by Senne, “Excuse me, lady, I need a push and daddy has to push Isabelle.”

  “I would love to push your swing for you. Do you like to go high?”

  Senne bounces up and down, “Yes! It’s the best.”

  Ann follows behind him and watches him get into position, “Are you ready Senne?”

  “Yes, push me.”

  Ann pushes him higher and higher delighting in the squeals of joy coming from the little boy. Isabelle is laughing too as Matthias pushes her.

  Matthias looks at his watch, “If we go now, we will just catch her before she starts the day in the workshop. If we don’t go, we will miss the window and you will have to wait for another time.”

  “She works strictly? Every day?”

  “Yes, she turns her phone off and if you do what I did and forget to organise something for his wife and calls last minute, she will roast you. I’m just lucky she loves me and knew my wife would kill me.”

  Ann laughs stopping abruptly when she realises, he is serious, “No way, how long did she have to come up with that centrepiece?”

  Matthias chuckles, “She had just over four days and I owe her big time, I just don’t know what that is yet and that means it is going to be huge.”

  Ann laughs, “So, you think she will be angry with you bringing me along this morning?”

  Matthias stops pushing Isabelle and turns to face Ann, “I never thought about that.”

  Isabelle is on the way back as he turns to push her again and times it wrong. The swing hits Matthias and brings him to his knees and then gets hit on the head.

  “Dammit, that hurt.”

  Senne jumps off the swing and kneels beside his dad, “Oh, you got hit in the peepee.”

  Ann snickers as she lifts Isabelle off the swing and turns to see Senne kiss Matthias on the forehead. She tries to speak but is still laughing, “Are you okay?”

  Matthias looks at her and smiles, “My boy is bruised but yeah I’ll be okay.”

  Senne is listening, “Oh maybe Auntie Lina has ice for your peepee.”

  Matthias closes his eyes and starts to laugh, “I don’t think I will need ice, son.”

  Ann helps him up onto his feet with Senne’s help. “Are you okay little peepee?”

  Matthias looks down at his son having a conversation with his penis and blushes. “Senne, I will be just fine, thank you. Now let’s get going to see Auntie Lina.”

  Isabelle claps her hands and hugs his legs, “Lina, Lina, Lina.”

  Ann smiles and jumps into her car to follow Matthias. Her stomach has butterflies from both excitement and nervousness. “It’s just a meeting…a business meeting. She will be fine with us just turning up…me turning up…oh my God, this is going to be a disaster.”

  She slams on the breaks and looks at where she is, “Damn, too late to back out now, we are here.”

  She takes another look around, “She lives here, it’s so beautiful and I always wondered what that building was used for.”

  Matthias knocks the window making her jump, “Jesus!”

  She puts her hand on her chest, looking at the laughing Matthias. She quirks her eyebrow and opens the door allowing Matthias just enough time to jump out of the way. “Hey, watch it, one bruise is plenty thank you.”

  Ann gets out of the car, “That was payback for scaring the life out of me.”

  Senne and Isabelle get free from their seatbelts and shout, “Auntie Lina, where are you? We want juice and cookies.”

  Matthias looks at both of them and tries to decide to admonish them or high five them. He watches as Lina comes out of the house looking very confused. She spots the two kids and smiles so brightly, “Hey, you guys, what are you doing here?”

  Senne rushes forward and hugs her tight, “Daddy hurt his peepee and you have to make Ann a nice toy and Isabelle wants a dollhouse and I want a baseball bat please.”

  Lina is so confused and looks over at Matthias and a strange woman.

  “Hi, Matthias, what’s going on?”

  Ann takes a step behind Matthias noticing the look and tone of Lina’s voice. “I think this is a bad idea, Matthias.”

  “Don’t be silly, come out here…I want you to protect my boys.”

  He starts laughing and pulls her towards Lina.

  “Hey, my beautiful sister, thank you for last night, your piece was the talk of the evening. Mia hated it.”

  Lina laughs and is still looking at Ann, not taking her eyes off her. Matthias notices the tension and clears his throat, “This is Ann, Ann was one of the guests last night and she is also the woman you left a voicemail for. I am just merely a way of bringing you together for that meeting and what better time than now. And if that doesn’t do it, you get to see your favourite brother and your favourite niece and nephew.”

  Lina grins at the two kids vying for her attention and picks them both up. She walks towards Ann and Matthias, “What happened to your peepee?”

  Before he can answer Senne fills her in and she starts to laugh and kisses Isabelle’s cheek, “You are such a good girl.”

  She turns her attention back to Ann, “So you are the department store owner and you want me to work with you?”

  Ann is never the one to be put on the back foot, but she is suddenly at a loss for words. Matthias looks on and grins, he nudges her to speak. She clears her throat and awkwardly puts her hand out, “Hi, I’m Ann, I’m happy to meet you.”

  Lina quirks her eyebrow but shakes her hand awkwardly while holding both kids, “I’m Lina, nice to meet you.”

  She turns to Matthias, “As for you, you owe me another huge favour, for this.”

  Matthias bows his head, “I did get my peepee hurt before I got here, doesn’t that count for anything?”

  Lina laughs and puts her arm around him, “If I didn’t have company, I would hurt it some more.”

  Matthias' eyes widen and as a natural instinct, he covers his pride and joy. “Be nice and just talk to her, she is really sweet, and she was the one that couldn’t stop asking questions about the centrepiece, she wanted the entire story, who they were, what was their story, you know, all that art stuff you love. I just told her they were a man and woman dancing in the moonlight and in love.”

  Lina quirks her eyebrow and subtly looks at Ann, “Okay, that’s different and that was a horrible way to tell the story of my creation. It was two women you dumbass.”

  “I didn’t know what was going through your mind when you made it. I don’t live in your mind. It was two women? Really? Oooh, you know maybe she might like women like you do.”

  Ann heard the last statement blushes and grins, leans in, “You know Matthias, I am standing right beside you and can hear what you’re saying. I do like women and I loved the centrepiece and could clearly see that it was two women. My take on it was that they were madly in love and were in a passionate embrace lost in the moment of the two of them. They didn’t care who was around them, they were together and that is all they knew. I would bet the music was their hearts beating as one, a rhythm they could only hear. The twinkling stars and the moonlight just intensifies the moment between them. They dance closer together and then their love is sealed with a kiss and that is the moment you have captured.”

  Lina is gobsmacked and Matthias is smiling from ear to ear, “I think I have just repaid one favour, I’m going to get my kids and leave the two of you to do whatever…”

  He realises no one is listening, shakes his head, “Come on kids, let’s go and get some waffles.”

  Senne cocks his head to the side, “With ice cream?”

  Matthias grins, “That’s my boy and for my princess would you like to have strawberries on your waffles?”

  “No.”

  Matthias is shocked, “No?”

  “Yes.”

  “You want ice cream?”

  “No.”


  Matthias looks to Lina for help, “I’m confused.”

  Lina rolls her eyes, “She wants waffles with both of them. Isn’t that right my pretty little princess?”

  Isabelle nods and claps her hands. Matthias looks at his daughter and then at Lina, “Is this girls code or something?”

  Lina shakes her head, “Oh yes, she knows girl code at three years old. Get in the car and make sure you add the chocolate sauce. I want them so hyper that Mia hunts you down.”

  “That’s not nice Lina, and you should stop drooling over Ann, she’s right there and that’s a turn off for women.”

  Lina blushes and pushes Matthias towards his car, strapping the kids into their seats, “Come along, time for brunch and I am going to kill you for what you just said.”

  Matthias chuckles, “I’m sorry, but you should know that Ann is totally checking out your butt right now.”

  Lina grins despite herself, “Really?”

  “Yes really, now be nice and don’t screw it up by being brash. I love you, Lina. Keep me updated with this.”

  Lina tries to thump him, but he drives off waving out the window.

  Chapter 6

  Lina slowly turns around very aware that she is now left with Ann Peeters and has no idea what to say or do. Ann cocks her head to the side trying to read Lina. She steps forward smiling softly, “I don’t know about you, but I could murder a coffee.”

  Lina is relieved and smiles back at Ann, “I think that would be a good start, how do you take yours?”

  “One sweetener and milk, what about you?”

  “Just milk, I’m sweet enough.”

  Lina cringes at her horrible attempt at flirting. Ann grins, “That’s good to know I would hate to hear that you need to have it bitter to match your bitter personality.”

  Lina stops in her tracks and looks at Ann trying to decipher if she is being serious or not. Only when Ann bumps her side and starts to laugh does she realises, Ann was teasing her. “For that, I will show you where the coffee maker is, and you can make your own.”

  Ann laughs and shrugs, “I don’t mind and if I’m making my own, I hope you have some cookies to go with it. I don’t like having coffee with no nice treat to go with it.”

  Lina quirks an eyebrow and grins, “I may have something for you.”

  They sit down at the table with their coffee and cookies, they are quiet and stealing glances at one another. When they are finished Ann sits back confidently, “At least I know you can make a decent cup of coffee. Can I ask you some questions about your work?”

  Lina sits back, “It is why you want to meet me after all.”

  Ann smirks, “So hostile, you want help to remove that chip off your shoulder? You are making a lot of assumptions about me without even knowing anything about me.”

  “I haven’t said a word about you…yet.”

  “You don’t need to it’s clear to see from the frosty knickers you are wearing and the shield you put up as soon as I mentioned your work.”

  Lina stands up and starts to pace, “I don’t have frosty knickers they are pleasantly comfortable.”

  Ann tries not to laugh at the absurdity of the entire conversation but can’t hold it in, “This is insane, can we just start over and have a normal conversation?”

  “I thought we were this is how I interact with people.”

  “So, you don’t have many friends?”

  Lina laughs and is enjoying that Ann doesn’t let her get away with anything. “I have a wonderful best friend, Sophie, she takes care of me when I get lost in creating. She gives me a straight twenty-four hours and if she hasn’t heard from me, she comes with food and threatens me until I submit to whatever she says.”

  For the first time, Ann has gotten a glimpse into what it is like to be Lina. She admires her commitment to her work.

  “So, do you have a meal of choice that you will stop for when she comes around or are you so hungry that you will eat anything?”

  Lina laughs and sits back down, “I don’t actually know, both could be right. She is very annoying…persuasive and she always seems to come at a time when my work is at a natural break. I’ve always wondered has she put a camera in my workshop.”

  “Maybe she has, and she likes to freak you out.”

  “She does that anyway, she has a sense of when to pop up when I really don’t want her around.”

  “The piece you made for your sister in law, what was the inspiration behind that?”

  “I listen to the wood and it tells me what to do. I see the picture evolve in my mind and then I start to work. That piece, I just wanted something to sparkle to add a little more detail and show it in the best light. Not that Mia was impressed by it. I thought she was going to throw it at me.”

  Ann is surprised, “She talked about it a lot and even told us that you were an awesome artist and sculptor, she sang your praises.”

  “You’re kidding me? Damn, she really is two-faced. I was basically thrown out of her house.”

  Ann is shocked but not surprised as she had a feeling about Mia. “She does seem to be a little high maintenance; how did your brother end up with her? He is so down to earth and lovely and has an awesome personality. He isn’t like you either.”

  She looks at Lina who has a scowl on her face but then laughs. “You are obnoxious, but I’m warming to you.”

  “Oooh, the frosty knickers are thawing let’s keep this trend going.”

  Lina’s lips purse together, “Don’t push it, Peeters.”

  Ann loves how Lina calls her by her surname, “Hey, I’m just following your lead.”

  Lina pulls her chair closer to Ann, “So, tell me what you really want with your project and do not leave any details out.”

  Ann feels pressure suddenly and pushes her chair back giving her a little more space. “Okay, so, I normally do all the window displays but this year my boss called me into the office and challenged me. He wants us to turn the entire upper level into a Winter Wonderland filled with Christmas cheer. He has entered us into a big competition this year and is going head to head with our biggest rival. They are going to show the finished project in Trend magazine. He has given me a good budget and wants me to use all local artists. One of my colleagues had heard about your work and she gave me your number. I didn’t know you were Mia’s sister in law and when I was talking Matthias, he really talked about how much you love what you do. With seeing that beautiful piece I saw how talented you are. I really wanted to talk to you and see if you would join me in the project.”

  “So, you are going to do this to enhance the store and win some dumb prize?”

  Ann is taken aback, “It’s more than that, this is an opportunity for local artists sculptors to show their work and give them a platform to be seen and hopefully get them to the next level of their career. This is an amazing opportunity for whoever joins in on the project.”

  Lina sits back in the chair and folds her arms, “It’s all to make you money and promote your store. Some artist joins your project and they will be exploited for your store’s financial gain. I won’t be a part of that.”

  Ann is stunned, “You think that the store is just going to use you and throw you to the side when this is all done. I want to make sure that whoever comes on board has free reign on what they want to do, and I would hope that the store would help fulfil a dream of that person and help them with whatever they want to do in their career.”

  Lina cocks her head to the side, “You are just saying what may happen after the project is over, you don’t know if that will happen. Your boss is only looking for the prize and the glory. It’s material, he gets what he wants and then when that is done, he will move on to the next project. Your intentions are good, and I know they are, but I can’t be a part of something that is just for material gain.”

  Ann tries to reason with Lina, but she realises that it is a losing battle. “What if I can draw up something in a contract and you can read it and if it meets your needs you c
an join my project. Your work is amazing, and I really want the community to see it and enjoy what you create. Can you give me time to get this made up? Please?”

  Lina shakes her head, “I don’t think you will come up with anything that I will want or need. I’m sorry Ann, I don’t see this working out.”

  She looks at her watch, “I need to get to work, it was nice meeting you.”

  Ann is being ushered out of the house and is left standing beside her car. “Drive safe and good luck with your project.”

  She doesn’t give her enough time to answer, walks off waving. Ann’s mouth drops open and she opens the car door, gets in and slams the door shut. She hits the steering wheel in frustration. She jumps when she hears a knock on the window. She frowns in confusion not recognising who the woman is. She opens the window following the instruction of the woman outside.

  “I take it you had a run-in with Lina?”

  Ann glowers, “I’m sorry, but who are you?”

  “Oh, yes I’m sorry, I’m Sophie.”

  She puts her hand through the open window smiling brightly. Ann shakes her hand, “You are the Lina whisperer.”

  Sophie quirks her eyebrow, “I’m a what?”

  “You speak the language of Lina. She is insufferable, damn!”

  “What did you try to do?”

  Ann looks at her with a mixture of annoyance and intrigue. “I just wanted to give her the opportunity to help me with a project I am carrying out. Her art would be on show in one of the biggest stores and with that, she would be paid handsomely for. She would get to move forward with her career. I asked her to give me time to come up with a contract to her liking and she ushered me out of the house in seconds. I could help launch her into a world she didn’t realise was there.”

  Sophie is listening and nodding, “That was your mistake right there. She doesn’t want material gain, she doesn’t do things for what she can get out of it. She has done this for a long time, creating something is her happy place. She makes toys, she creates statues, paints pictures. Every minute of every day she creates and when someone is touched by what she has created that is her payment. For a child that can’t afford the newest toy or even the cheapest toy, she makes one and that child never forgets that. She is a member of the community that is loved for both her art but also her generosity and love. She has this tough outer shell that she shows off, but she is so soft underneath and if you really want to have her help you in this project, leave the material bullshit at the door. Give her something that hits her right in the heart. Something that she would love to do.”