Mind the Gap (In Too Deep)

by Casey McMillin

  "She probably can," I said. "And if not, just talk to Bailey."

  "Oh, please don’t encourage her," Collin said.

  "Why? You don’t want her to be an extra on a soap?"

  "It's not that so much as I think she's sort of wanting to experiment and stuff, and I don't want her getting crazy with a bunch of actors."

  "If it's not actors, it'll be her friends in San Diego."

  "Yeah, but if she comes here to try to be an actress, I'm gonna feel responsible for her. At least if she goes nuts in San Diego, it's on my parents."

  "You can't be worried about that, dude. Technically she's an adult."

  We were just approaching the departing flights drop off, so Collin dropped the subject of his sister and her impending meltdown. "Hey, thanks for bringing me," he said

  "No problem," I said. "I'll get Rachel to you safe and sound. We'll be seeing you in a couple of days."

  "Thanks man."

  "Hey," I said. "You got this." Collin smiled a thankful, humble smile even though we both knew he was about to crush it in Omaha. He held out his fist for a bump before grabbing his bag from the floorboard of my truck and climbing down to the sidewalk.

  ****

  Two days later, I was enjoying my own room at the nicest hotel in Omaha. As a part of Collin's endorsement, Joel paid for not only Collin's room, but also those of his friends and family. I heard he was planning on doing the same thing for the Olympics. Joel had more money than all of our dads and granddads combined, and he and Gretchen were both extremely generous with it.

  A big group of us decided to go out to eat the night before the Trials started. Ethan and Emily offered me a ride from the hotel since they had a rental car. As far as I knew, we were just planning on meeting everyone else at the restaurant.

  "How are you feeling?" I asked Ethan. I knew he was looking good, but I wanted to feel out what sort of headspace he was in. I was in the backseat so I saw Emily as she looked over at him, waiting for his response.

  "I feel good. I hate to put it this way, but I think I can at least get second, which still puts me on the team."

  "I know you're gonna make the team, but I think you can best Anthony."

  "I'm in a good place with my game." Ethan said. "I'm feeling confident."

  I watched as he smiled and reached over the console to grab Emily's hand, which made me shift in my seat and look out the window.

  "Are your parents coming Emily?" I asked. Then I suddenly remembered Ethan mentioning something about Emily being estranged from her parents or something.

  I felt terrible, but before I could try to take back my words, Emily said, "Actually they are, which is extremely weird for me to say since I haven’t seen them since I left home." I didn't say anything, but I wondered why they'd chance family drama at something as important as the Olympic Trials.

  As if she read my mind, Emily looked back at me. "We've patched things up over the phone recently, and they're totally stoked to be here to support Ethan. They're not coming till Wednesday, anyway, since Ethan doesn't swim till Thursday morning."

  "And if they act the fool," Ethan said, "I have a friend who gets in street fights all the time." He was referring to my still-thriving black eye, which was now sporting some green tones.

  "You just say the word, and I'll take care of it," I said.

  There was close to two dozen of us that all sat down together at an Italian restaurant. The Trials would start in the morning, and the tables were buzzing with excitement and conversation. Rachel was sitting on my left, and Ethan on my right. Collin was on the other side of Rachel, and I saw her as she looked at her phone and then held it out to let Collin see whatever was on the screen.

  "That looks good," he said.

  Rachel was smiling and looking around the table like she wanted to show someone else whatever was on the screen. She looked at me, obviously deciding if I was a good enough option. "It's from Brit," she said. She waited for me to not look disgusted then flashed her phone. "Isn't it cool?" she asked.

  The screen was small, but I could see that it was a cartoon picture of Brit sitting on a stool with a guitar. It must have been a flyer for a show, because her name was written on it, and there were details of when and where something was going to take place. I figured it was likely a concert instead of an art show or something since she was depicted with a guitar. She shook the phone, making me lose focus. "Isn't it cool?" she repeated.

  "I guess so," I said, shrugging. "What's it for?"

  "She's done three shows at this little bar during happy hour, and apparently she's killing it," Rachel said. "She text me a photo of how packed it was this past weekend, and I got nervous just looking at it. Anyway, they're putting her on stage with one of their rock bands this Saturday to see how she does with their late night crowd. She may end up with her own band and a regular gig."

  "I thought she had school and a job with Gretchen." I knew it sounded stupid, but the thought of her singing in a band made me feel jealous for some reason. "And how's she supposed to do anything in Seattle on a regular basis when she's moving to Los Angeles?"

  "She's not moving till December," Rachel said. "That's a lifetime for Brit. It wouldn't surprise me if she recorded an album and toured the whole Northwest before then."

  I had to work to school my expression. Hell, I had to work to try to figure out what was going on in my own head at that moment. Part of me thought it was so cool that Brit was making things happen with her music, and the other part of me was slightly unnerved at the thought of her getting all that attention. I knew what the sound of her voice did to me, and I could only imagine hundreds of guys reacting the way I did.

  "Do you remember hearing her sing in Portland? She's really good."

  Did I remember hearing her sing? What Rachel didn't know was that I'd thought about that song and the kiss that followed quite a few times since it happened. It wasn’t like I was obsessed with her or anything. If that were the case, I would have contacted her by now. It was just that I thought back on that evening with fondness, which surprised me considering I technically didn't care for the girl.

  ****

  It was an outstanding week for our group of friends. The Olympic Trials were held for seven days straight, starting and ending on a Monday. During the morning hours, the swimmers competed in heats. The fastest times in the heats moved to the semi-finals. That was how the beginning of the week went. The finals in each event were held toward the end of the week.

  I'd been around swimming for a long time and this meet was by far the largest one I'd ever been to. We had a lot of down time, but it was worth it to experience the races. It was so exiting watching my best friends swim in such a prestigious gathering of athletes.

  Was I jealous? Absolutely not. I loved my job, and the choices I'd made in life in general. From time to time I felt nostalgic about swimming competitively, but I never felt bad about not doing it anymore. And let's face it… I wasn't good enough to make it this far, so it wasn't really an option for me. I did love being a spectator, though. Especially because I knew what awesome people these guys were outside the pool.

  Guys and girls, I should say since I knew a few of the girls at the trials too. Most of the girls I knew well (including Zoey) didn't make the Olympic team. Sabrina, the girl Ethan messed around with, was the only one of our good friends who made it. She was pretty much a bad ass. She would be swimming in six events next month, which was more than any other athlete on the Olympic team, male or female.

  Ethan made sure to threaten my life if I mentioned anything about Sabrina to Emily during this whole Olympic process, or ever for that matter. He was totally whipped. I never thought I'd see the day when Ethan Erickson only had interest in one girl, but here we were. That day was now, the girl was Emily—and my life had officially been threatened if I let it slip about Sabrina. Not that I was scared of Ethan since I could totally take him, but I liked Emily and didn't want to do anything to jeopardize their relationship. Gir
ls get testy when it came to exes, after all.

  I couldn't imagine Sabrina not saying something to hint at it, but I didn’t mention that to Ethan. I just promised to keep my mouth shut and he was good with that.

  Anyway, getting back to the results of the trials as they pertained to my boys. Collin did what everyone knew he would do. He would be swimming in five events at this year's games… more than any one else on the men's team.

  Zack would be swimming in four events, and for two of them, he'd be alongside Collin. During one race, they'd be teammates on a relay, and the other, they'd be opponents in an individual race. They would be going against each other on the 400 Individual Medley, and while Collin was the favorite, Zack would definitely be giving him a run for his money. There were no relays in the Trials. They just made up the relay teams from the swimmers with the fastest individual times. Collin would swim in three individual races and two relays. Zack would swim in three individuals and one relay, and Ethan would swim in two individual races and one relay.

  Ethan and his coach were both beyond excited at the outcome of the trials. At this year's games, he would swim in both the 50 and 100 Free and because of his time in the 100 Free, he'd swim the 4x100 Free Relay. The icing on the cake was that he went all week without losing to his long time rival, Anthony Davis. Anthony made the team, and would be competing both against and with Ethan, overlapping just like Collin and Zack. Even though they were rivals, and a little less friendly about it than Collin and Zack, they would have no problem putting their differences aside to compete as a team in the 4x100 Free Relay in this year's Olympics. The whole team would be like a family.

  Joel and Gretchen were grinning like Cheshire cats all week. Joel knew having Collin endorse his goggles was a good move, but having that confirmed was a nice feeling for him… I could see it all over his face this week. I was happy for both of them on a personal and professional level.

  Gretchen came to the Trials even though she was seven or eight months pregnant and Joel acted like a crazy person when it came to her and the baby's safety. She wasn't going to miss the trials when the Olympics were out of the question. Even if Joel hadn't been overprotective (which he was) Gretchen would have known an international flight just two weeks before your due date might be a little risky.

  Joel offered to stay home, but after some coaxing from Gretchen, decided he would be going to the Olympics without her. The only reason he could be talked into it was because should she go into labor, he could be home quickly. When you're richer than sin you charter private flights that can leave immediately, and Joel was richer than sin.

  All in all it was an ideal week. Everyone was stoked about the results of the trials, and excited at the thought of bringing home some Olympic hardware in a few weeks.

  Chapter 9

  Brit

  I stood in the cereal isle and stared blankly at the box of Wheaties in front of me. I couldn't believe little Rachel Coleman, who used to make homemade retainers out of paperclips, was married to a guy whose photo was on a box of cereal. Collin Blake was the most popular American Olympic athlete this year. A female gymnast named Molly Hayes hit it pretty big, and a female swimmer named Sabrina or Serena something—but no one's face was plastered in the media like Collin's. It was truly surreal to be staring at my childhood friend's husband on a freaking box of cereal at Price Chopper.

  Amazing.

  I didn't go to the Olympics, but Rachel and most of the friends I'd met through her were there. I recorded everything. My DVR was almost completely full of Men's Olympic swimming coverage, and I replayed the races several times, watching the guys I knew personally as they set records and won medals. It was like a dream, and I was so proud to know them.

  Collin won gold in four out of five of his events, making him a total rock star. He won silver in one of the relays, but gold in the one he swam in with Zack. That was an extremely exciting race to watch. I replayed that one at least ten times. Zack won medals in all of his races also. He won two golds, a silver and a bronze. Ethan Erickson, who I gathered was a bit of an underdog, beat all odds and medaled in all three of his events. He got silver in both of his individual races, but gold in his relay. That one was exciting as well, but not quite as close as the one where Collin and Zack came from behind for the gold.

  Rachel emailed once while they were there, but they had a lot going on, and I was able to see everything on the television anyway. Trevor had gotten into it with me since he had met them all in Portland. He came over most nights to watch, and we'd jump up and cheer and scream when someone we knew was racing. Trevor even bought me a T-shirt with a U.S. flag on it, so I could be a bonafide fan. I wore it every time I watched, superstitious that it would somehow help them perform their best.

  Almost as fun as watching people I knew swim in the Olympics was looking for my friends in the audience. I watched the crowd for Rachel and the rest of the gang. Every time they cut to Collin, Zack, or Ethan's parents, I'd be able to find Rachel and Emily close by. Trevor was over one night when I kept rewinding one shot of the audience that showed my friends for several long seconds. The announcer was talking about Collin's parents, and the cameraman scanned over to them. Trevor thought I kept rewinding it to see Rachel. I did notice her there, but as if it were beyond my control, my eyes went straight to Josh. I studied his face on the television screen. He was sitting in between Collin's mom and Rachel. I laughed, knowing Rachel probably had him there as a buffer. I replayed the shot several times trying to figure out why Josh looked so different to me. His style hadn't changed, but something was definitely different about him. It wasn't until about the fifth time I replayed it, (and yes, Trevor was looking at me sideways by then) that I realized it was his hair.

  Josh had hair! It had been a few months since I'd last seen him and his hair had gone from totally shaved to a short, messy mop of dark brown waves. It looked really good on him. I'm not ashamed to admit that I saved that segment and watched it a few more times after Trevor left that night. I paused it when his face was on the screen and relived the kiss we shared in that hallway.

  And here was the scary part… The Olympics had been over for two weeks now and I still had that piece of footage saved to my DVR. I told myself I saved it because the race was exciting, but the truth was, I was still nursing that tiny crush on Josh, and I wanted to look at him any time I felt the urge. He was smiling and talking to Collin's mom, and I thought about how good a smile looked on him. I'd rarely, if ever seen him smile, and I loved how it looked. The new haircut didn't hurt matters either.

  "Excuse me," a voice said, startling me out of my thoughts, "I'm just gonna grab one of these." I realized I was blocking the Wheaties. A handsome, young, professional looking guy wearing a shirt and tie and carrying a hand-held grocery basket reached in front of me to take a box with Collin's face on it.

  I was too proud to stop myself.

  "He's a friend of mine," I said pointing at the box.

  "You're kidding," he said. "You know him?"

  "Yep, his wife is one of my best friends. We've known each other since we were kids."

  He looked me over as if to gauge my likability. I knew just by looking at him that I wasn't his type, but I could tell he was trying to like me since I knew the Wheaties guy. If he only knew he wasn't at all my type either and I was just telling him that to show off a little, not to score a date.

  "What's your name?" he asked. Nice one, Casanova.

  I stuck out my hand and told him my name but then smiled and walked off before the situation could get any more embarrassing. I figured maybe it wasn't such a good idea to stare at Wheaties boxes in Price Chopper while daydreaming about Josh Rand in the audience at the Olympics.

  ****

  The next night I had a gig at a local bar called Digg's. Even though I had a band behind me now, we made pretty mellow music. Our sound worked perfectly in Digg's, because it was a laid-back place famous for a huge selection of beer from obscure microbreweries.


  The three guys backing me up were really good musicians who helped me improve each time we got together to rehearse. That was something we did a lot because we were gaining fans at a faster rate than we were ready for. We called ourselves Brit and the Bellyflops, and to our own shock, we'd packed the bar even though it was only our second time to play there as the headliners.

  So, Digg's was packed, and the sight of that huge crowd made me feel nervous. Just before the show, my band and I (plus the sound guy) stepped outside for a little attitude adjustment. We were in the middle of adjusting said attitude when a huge Chevy pulled up in the parking lot. I knew before anyone got out that it was one of my parents. The huge black Chevy was easy enough to recognize, but I'd never seen anyone else with a bumper sticker that said, "If you're against logging, try using plastic to wipe your ass." My family lived in Oregon, and yes, my dad was a logger. I had one little brother, who indeed wanted to carry on the family tradition of clearing the earth of its forests. I suddenly felt extremely paranoid. I ducked into my car and began searching for some gum or some smelly lotion or ideally both.

  I had about twenty seconds to compose myself and shake the paranoia before I had to say something to Mom and Dad. I probably could have hidden and let them walk into the bar without saying anything, but I was too curious about why they were here. In spite of my parents being a little close-minded, we had a good relationship and I wasn't sad they were here, I was just curious as to why.

  "Mom?" I said, coming from behind them as they started to circle the building to get to the front door.

  My mom turned with a start, but relaxed as soon as my voice registered. "Hey baby, I never dreamed we'd see you out here." Her assessing gaze swept over me (and my delinquent band mates who were in the distance). She didn't miss a beat, thank you, Jesus. "Dad and I were just gonna go on inside and surprise you in the audience," she continued. Then she looked at her watch. "What are you doing out here?" she asked, concerned. "I thought you had a show at—"