Mind the Gap (In Too Deep)

by Casey McMillin

  "Dang," Trevor said, shaking his head. "Maybe he could be talked out of it if you showed him some of your other stuff."

  I couldn't believe he was being so persistent. It was nice that he wanted a piece of my art, but I couldn't help but be a little annoyed, mostly because I was being forced to lie to one of my best friends. I wasn't about to tell him I was in love with the guy who was getting the painting. That would have just been like salt on an open wound.

  Chapter 18

  Josh

  I was almost asleep when I got a text from Brit at midnight on Thanksgiving. I wasn't surprised to be hearing from her. We'd been texting back and forth quite a bit recently. It was getting to the point where we'd send a quick note almost every day, and some days even talk on the phone for a few minutes. Those days were my favorite because I loved hearing the sound of her voice.

  Being that it was Thanksgiving, I was a little surprised that I hadn't heard from her at all. I figured I'd at least get a note making a turkey joke or something, but nothing. I sent her a text earlier in the evening, but didn't hear back from her until midnight that night.

  Brit: "Happy Turkey Day! Hope you had a good one! What were you thankful for?"

  Me: "I'm thankful you caught me before I dozed off. My phone's on silent."

  Brit: "Well, I'm thankful for that too. Glad you're up. Sorry it's so late."

  Me: "No big. My mom cooked a feast, and I'm almost comatose, but my thumbs still work. I'm just surprised you didn't get scared and call me earlier. Isn't your roommate gone?"

  Brit: "Yeah, but Trevor came over."

  I set the phone on my chest while I took a second to cool down. There was really nothing I could say about the presence of Skinny Jeans in her life. She insisted that they'd been good friends since they met, and there was nothing more to it than that. I didn't believe it for a second. No guy in his right mind would spend tons of time with a beautiful girl and not have feelings for her.

  Brit: "Josh? You there? I didn't mean to make you feel weird. You asked why I wasn't scared. I thought you knew Trevor stayed over here sometimes."

  Me: "What do you mean by stay over there? You mean he was there earlier and he left, right?"

  There was a long moment of nothing before she responded.

  Brit: "I can see by how you phrased your question that you probably want me to say he's gone, but what I meant was that he sleeps over here. It's nothing. He's not even in my bedroom or anything. He stays on the couch."

  I set my phone down on my chest again, this time massaging my forehead in frustration. I worked at getting my breath under control before I did something crazy like take off for Seattle. That scumbag. He was totally trying to get in Brit's pants, and to think, the poor girl thought his intentions were pure. How ridiculous. When you look and sing like Brit, no man's intentions are pure.

  Brit: "Josh, please don't be mad. It's nothing."

  Me: "Does he know about me?"

  Brit: "No, he doesn't know about you Josh. What's there to tell? Do your friends know about me?"

  She had me there. I hadn't told a single soul that I was in touch with Brit. It wasn't that I was ashamed, I just didn't think we were at the point where we were telling people what was going on with us… but that was probably why she hadn't told Trevor.

  Me: "No, but I don't have a girl sleeping at my house either."

  Brit: "Are you jealous?"

  Me: "Is this something that happens all the time?"

  Brit: "Not really. Just when Kerry's out of town or something."

  Me: "I don't like it, Brit. I know he wants you."

  There was another long silence.

  Brit: "You're right, I guess. I didn't see it for the longest, but he might think there's something between us. I'm being honest when I tell you nothing's ever happened though Josh. Nothing has and nothing will."

  I wasn't sure where to go with the conversation. Lead-ins like those could easily lead straight to the "commitment talk" and I wasn't sure either of us was ready for anything like that. I was at a fork in the road, and I didn't know which way to go. I laid my phone on the table for a minute while I decided how to respond. Ultimately, I made the choice to be laid-back about the whole thing. We'd have enough time to explore the idea of commitment once she actually lived in L.A.

  Me: "I might have overreacted. It seems like he's your friend, and that's something you normally do. Plus, you'd be scared otherwise."

  Brit: "Wow, I actually liked jealous Josh a little bit better. I'm feeling a little rejected over here."

  Me: "I'm just trying not to mess with your routine. Btw, how's my painting coming along."

  Brit: "I love it. I had an offer on it, and I told them it was spoken for already."

  Me: "Who's them? Trevor?"

  Brit: "Yeah, how'd you guess?"

  Me: "Shit, Britney, I was joking. Forget what I said about your routine. I don't want him spending the night anymore. If your roommate goes out of town, you can just be scared for one night. Better yet you can come down to L.A."

  Brit: "I don't think it'll be a problem. I'm moving in two weeks anyway. Is my place gonna be ready for me?"

  Me: "Ethan closed on the house a week ago, but they'll be in the guesthouse until you need it. He's doing some remodeling in the bathrooms before they move in."

  Brit: "I hope I'm not rushing them. I could technically stay a while longer. My lease isn't up till after Christmas. I was just planning on coming down as soon as I could."

  Me: "They can live in that house as it is. They're only choosing to stay at Joel's because it's available and convenient. Just graduate so you can get down here.

  Brit: ""

  A smiley face was Brit's way of signing off, so I didn't answer her back. I figured we'd talk soon enough.

  ****

  Roughly a week later, Collin called me asking if I could pick Rachel up from the airport. He had plans to do it himself, but her flight was delayed and her new arrival time conflicted with a photo shoot he had scheduled for one of his endorsements. He was being asked to endorse everything right now, and he was smart enough to go ahead and accept the more lucrative ones. He would be swimming at the next Olympic Games in four years, but why not take advantage of a windfall when it's right in front of you, right?

  Anyway, Collin was working, so good old dependable Josh was asked to pick Rachel up from the airport. I knew where she'd been, but it wasn't because Collin or Rachel told me. She'd been in Seattle for the weekend. She flew up there to surprise Brit, who was playing her last gig. Brit already told me all about everyone who showed up to see her play. Brit and Rachel's parents had plans to ride up together, and when Rachel caught wind of that, she didn't want to miss out. She booked a flight and they all surprised Brit by showing up at the gig. From what Brit said, many of her art school friends turned out as well. Lots of people brought small gifts or trinkets, and it ended up being somewhat of a farewell to Brit party. She was really touched by everyone who came out.

  Rachel didn't know I was aware of any of this since no one really knew Brit and I were talking.

  "Did you have fun?" I asked as I opened the passenger's door of my truck for Rachel.

  "Thank you so much for picking me up," she said, "and, oh my goodness yes, we had a blast. I'm so glad I flew up there for that."

  I smiled as I closed the door, knowing I wasn't going to sit there and get the whole story in the loading zone at the airport. Rachel didn't even pause to let me sit down in my seat and put the truck in drive. She started talking the second I opened the door.

  "Josh, I wish you would have seen that. You would have been so proud of her. She's amazing. I had no idea what kind of stuff she was capable of on stage. She plays the guitar now, and her voice—well, you know her voice. Plus, she did this thing where she had people come up and do these amazing tricks on stage. Some of these people from her art school made up a whole skit about licking elbows and had a girl on stage with them that could actually do it. The whole
place was simultaneously trying to lick their own elbows."

  "Sounds interesting," I said, raising my eyebrows.

  "I'm not explaining it right," she huffed. "It was very interesting. Was probably one of the coolest live shows I've ever seen."

  "I'm just playing," I said. "I want to hear about it."

  Rachel went on and on for the forty minutes it took for us to reach her apartment. She explained how Brit's music was a mix of folk, and funk, and rhythm and blues. She said since the band was somewhat of an accidental success they didn't have many songs of their own. About a third of their songs were original but the rest were covers that had been altered to fit her style. Brit's goal was to one day be able to perform an entire show with her own songs, but she was still new at it and she just didn't have enough original material yet.

  "So is she hanging up the paint brushes for a shot at a career in music," I asked. I’d never come right out and asked Brit that question, and I was curious about how serious she was with her music.

  "No way. In fact, she knows that this accidental band and local following was a fluke. She still plans on making art and teaching at the center. She's just doing music part-time for fun. I sent Gretchen some footage of the show, though, and she's all excited about putting Brit to use in the performing arts department."

  "What footage?" I asked. "Some of the show you just went to?"

  "Yeah." Rachel held up her phone. "Collin got me a new phone with like eight times the memory my old one had. I recorded almost the whole show. I even got the part where this guy made his eyeballs pop out of his head like that lady on Ripley's Believe it or Not. I think he drove in from Vancouver to be a part of the show."

  "Don't delete them before you let me watch," I said. "I'd love to check them out."

  "I'll email them all to you from my office tomorrow," Rachel said.

  I knew I could count on Rachel to do what she said she'd do, and I was pumped about getting to see more than one song. "Thanks," I said smiling. Rachel returned my smile, obviously getting a kick out of how excited I was to get the videos.

  ****

  Just like that it was the middle of December and Brit was done with school and moving to Los Angeles. I had helped Ethan and Emily move into their new house a few days ago, and now I was ready to do some more heavy lifting. A group of friends helped her pack everything she owned into a U-Haul, but she drove out of Seattle leaving all of them behind.

  All of them accept the one freaking tagalong that couldn't seem to understand she didn't want to be his girlfriend. Trevor. What's worse was that he was staying in L.A. for a while to "help her unpack". When I asked Brit how long he was planning on staying down here, she said no more than a couple of days. I was praying I could take him for that long without having a confrontation. Her parents drove with her as well, but the idea of them being around didn't make me want to hit something.

  Nearly all of our friends showed up at Joel's to help Brit unpack. There were too many of us unpacking that U-Haul. We were in each other's way. The girls decided to go inside the main house and chill while the guys finished unloading. Near the back of the truck, stacked along the side, and wrapped in protective plastic were Brit's canvases. A few of them were really big, and one of them in particular stood out. I had a hunch that was the one she was selling to me. Trevor had already made his way to the wall of canvases, and had his hand on the oversized one I thought was mine.

  I didn't say anything. I just went behind him and picked up two of the other ones and followed him into the house to set them down. I wasn't sure why, but Trevor walked all the way back to the back bedroom with the painting he was holding. I followed him just to see where he was going. He carefully set the painting on the ground, propped against far wall.

  "I begged her to sell it to me," he said, gesturing to the half-covered canvas. "She said she'd already sold it to some friend through Gretchen's work or something." He looked at it regretfully and shook his head. "I told her to just paint him another similar one since the guy hadn't even seen it." He shot me an annoyed look. "Who buys a painting sight unseen anyway?"

  "Me," I said.

  Trevor looked astounded and then confused.

  "Wait. You're? Hold on. You bought the painting?"

  "Yeah, it's mine. Just like Brit's mine."

  He looked shocked again.

  "Excuse me?" he said, posturing like he could actually do something. That would be absolutely hilarious.

  "I said she's mine, and so is the painting, so you need to fucking back off."

  "Or what?" Trevor asked.

  "Or what?" I asked sarcastically. I towered over him in both height and girth. I could snap him in half like a twig.

  "Or you're going to threaten me with physical harm, you big bully? You're sadly mistaken if you think Brit would ever like someone who claims her like a big Neanderthal."

  "Brit might not be who you think she is," I said. "And I'm only going to ask you nicely one time to back off. Brit's my girl, and that 's my painting, and it'd be great if you could just go ahead and find your way back to Seattle."

  "What's going on?" Brit asked from the door.

  "Oh thank God you're here Brit. Maybe you can talk some sense into this idiot who thinks he's laid some sort of claim on you and that piece you already sold."

  Chapter 19

  Brit

  For Christ's sake, it had only been an hour and already there was a conflict with Josh and Trevor. I could hear them going back and forth in raised tones from the back bedroom. I stepped into the doorway to hear Josh telling Trevor he needed to head back to Seattle. Wow. They didn't waste any time.

  A red-faced Trevor called Josh an idiot, and said that Josh was trying to lay a claim on both me and the big painting as if we were his property. Trevor looked at me, waiting for me to see the humor in the situation.

  I did laugh, but it wasn't for the reason Trevor wanted me to. I laughed because I was so nervous and freaked out about not knowing what to say that I couldn't do anything but laugh. Trevor wanted me to agree that Josh claiming me in some way was ridiculous, but the trouble was, I didn't think it was ridiculous at all. In fact, I was quite excited about Josh being jealous over me. A wave of giddiness hit me as I started wondering exactly what he'd said before I walked up.

  "I tried to tell him you already sold the painting, but he can't seem to understand."

  I looked at Josh who was clinching his jaw and closing his eyes as if to pray for patience. He opened his eyes to look at me and gave me a frustrated half-smile.

  "Would you please just tell him I'm your boyfriend and the painting is for me?" he asked.

  What the…?

  The main thing I felt at that moment was excitement. Here was this huge, crazy-haired, beautiful boy wanting to call me his girlfriend! I was over the moon for him, and was overcome with the nearly uncontrollable urge to reach out and touch him. I wanted to touch his arm, touch his jaw, run my finger's through his hair, anything!

  Then other emotions started to hit me, and I thought better of my plans. Just as suddenly as I'd been hit by excitement, I was hit by a surge of guilt. I felt terrible for Trevor. I couldn't imagine how rejected and alone he would feel, especially in a city where I was the only person he knew.

  I debated for a few seconds, but decided I liked Josh too much to leave him hanging. I gave Trevor a regretful smile and he returned it with a look of shock and distaste.

  "You mean you're with…" Trevor was looking at me while pointing to Josh.

  "Yes, she's with me," Josh said. The tone of his voice said clearly that he wasn't taking any more crap.

  "Excuse me," Trevor said. "I was asking Brit. It seems like you're putting words into her mouth, so why don't we let her answer?"

  Josh looked at the ceiling. This time, he clinched his jaw and his fists.

  "You see what I'm dealing with here?" Trevor continued, "He's all worked up like he wants to cause me bodily harm or something."

  Josh laughed
. It was a humorless laugh that was accompanied by a frustrated grabbing of the hair by his temple. "You have no idea how close I am to causing him bodily harm, Brit, and I think we all know how that would turn out. Would you please just explain to him that you're my girl so we can be done with this before he says too much?"

  "Yeah, Brit, go ahead and explain how you're in love with this big bruit." Trevor said.

  "I'm… I mean, he's my… yeah, I like him Trev." I shrugged and gave him that same regretful smile since it was all I could come up with. I was trying to be sensitive to Trevor's feelings, but I wasn't about to disclaim Josh. I wanted him, wanted to be with him. My parents, who had no clue how tense the situation was, came down the hall interrupting our conversation before I could make any further statement on the subject. I was sort of glad since so much had been said already.

  Things didn't go very smoothly with Trevor after that. He stayed two days but it was only because he'd planned on doing so, and going back early would be a bad way for us to part ways. Josh was very understanding about the whole thing since Trevor and I had been friends for so long. He had a lot going on at work, so he let me finish out the visit with Trevor drama-free.

  I was a little disappointed that Josh barely got to spend any time with my parents, but I figured he'd have plenty of opportunity to do that in the future. Even though things between Trevor and I were slightly strained and awkward, at least I was able to give him a proper farewell. He came along with my parents and me when we did a few Hollywood tourist activities, and before I knew it, two days had passed, my company was gone, and I was left in my new house in my new town. I sent Josh a text the second Trevor pulled out of the driveway.

  Me: "What are you doing?"

  Two hours passed and I didn't hear from him. I was a little scared he decided the whole Trevor thing had been too much. A few times, I started to send a second text, but I was able to talk myself out of it. Finally, I heard back from him. I picked up my phone and saw his name on the screen. Then I dove onto my bed with my phone clutched to my chest before extending my arm to focus on the words on the screen.