Mind the Gap (In Too Deep)

by Casey McMillin

  Josh: "I'm just leaving the gym. You still got company?"

  Me: "No. Wanna come over?"

  Josh: "Maybe in a little bit. I have to go home to shower."

  Me: "You don't need to shower on my account. I'm a hippie, remember?"

  Josh: "Trust me, I need a shower. I can come by later, though."

  That stung. Yeah, so it had been two days since I'd seen him, and that was all because of me and my guy-friend, but for some reason, I sort of expected him to come running when Trevor left. Okay, maybe not come running exactly, but at least show some excitement about seeing me. I decided I was okay with the idea of telling him exactly what I was feeling at that moment.

  Me: "I'm so sorry I had to ignore you while I had company. I sent that first text two hours ago, and I can hardly wait any longer to see you. Please hurry."

  Josh: "I'm on my way, but I'm gonna need a shower at your place."

  Me: "Deal. See you in a few. Want to figure out something for dinner too?"

  Josh: "You asking me on a date?"

  Me: "Stop texting and drive."

  I didn't hear back from him after that. Twenty minutes passed before I heard his knock on my door. His large frame filled up my doorway, and my breath hitched a little at the sight of him. He was still wet with sweat, and his curly hair was hanging over his forehead and ears. He was so tall that I had to stand on my toes when I placed a little kiss on his cheek. I could taste the salt of his sweat on my lips, and it made my knees a little weak. He smelled like a masculine exertion, and I mean that in the least stinky way possible. I could smell his shower gel, but there was an underlying natural smell that was actually quite good. Or maybe I just liked that kind of thing.

  "You probably shouldn't come too close," he said, sort of stepping back. He picked up the bag that was hanging on his shoulder. "I brought my bag so I can change after I get cleaned up."

  "I don't think you smell bad," I said. I placed another kiss on his cheek before I stepped back to let him into the house.

  "Looks good in here," he said. "Your art looks good on these walls." He walked into the living room checking out my paintings, his gym bag hanging from his shoulder the whole time. "I want to look at everything, but I'm not going to be able to relax until I change."

  "By all means," I said. I gestured down the hall.

  Seeing him again just confirmed that I was officially crazy about him, and it seemed like I'd been waiting all day by the time he got out of the five-minute shower. He was wearing faded jeans and a T-shirt made of cotton thin enough to see the curves of his muscular chest underneath. His hair looked so good wet, and it was all I could do not to run across the living room and throw myself into his arms.

  "I smell like a girl," he said, picking up his arm to give it a sniff.

  "I think you're masculinity is securely in tact," I laughed. "Besides, it's not like a little lemon shower gel is gonna kill you."

  I was standing at the bar that separated the living room from the kitchen. Josh seemed content with meandering around the living room looking at my artwork. I watched him for a minute before the temptation became too much to handle. He was huge and clean, and the sight of his boyish handsome face with those dark brown eyes made me feel like a slight electrical current was pulsing through my veins. My breathing started becoming more labored, and I looked at one of my paintings just to distract me from the gorgeousness in jeans.

  I just couldn't stand it any longer. I had to touch him. I wasn't planning on tackling him to the ground or anything, but I had to make some sort of contact with his skin. I walked across the space that was separating us, and hearing my footfall, he turned to see me coming toward him. He extended his big arms, and I walked right into them, breathing in the clean smell of my own citrus shower gel and loving the feel of his strong chest against my cheek.

  He held me there for a few long seconds then he pulled back far enough to take a good look at my face. "I'm glad you live here," he said. He was looking at me with a sincere expression that slowly changed into a beautiful, wide smile. Then, without any further ado, he took my face in his hands and kissed me.

  "Me too," I said, a little breathlessly.

  Josh suddenly looked like something was bothering him. "Listen, I wanted to talk to you about something. I know the last time I saw you, I told your friend that I was your boyfriend, and I just wanted you to know I just said that because he was pissing me off. I didn't mean to put words into your mouth or anything, but I had just about enough of him by that point, so I said—"

  "Josh, please don't feel like you have to explain. I'm fine with you saying that, I just didn't want to hurt his feelings."

  "You're fine with me saying what?" he asked. He was teasing me now, but he didn't know I was too smitten to have any shame.

  "I'm fine with you saying you're my boyfriend," I said. "I think I might even like it a little."

  He kissed me again and then he bent down and put his solid as a rock shoulder into my mid-section. The top half of my body flipped upside down as he stood, carrying me over his shoulder. I let out a shriek, and he reached up and popped me on the butt with an open hand. I let out another shriek at the smack, and he did it again. It didn't hurt, but the sound surprised me. "Shhhh, he said. "And quit squirming, or you're gonna make me drop you."

  Josh walked the ten steps to my couch, where he gingerly set me down.

  "I missed you," I said, looking up at him. My voice cracked a little.

  "God Brit, it makes me crazy to hear your voice all sweet like that. I missed you too."

  "I've been thinking about you ever since Halloween… wanting to see you again. I think you put a spell on me." I sang the last few words of my sentence in a soft little run that Nina Simone herself would have been proud of. I made an effort to make it sound sweet and vulnerable. I knew Josh loved my voice, and I was using it to expedite things on the couch.

  I could see the switch flip. He put his lips to mine in a kiss that told me he wasn't messing around. His tongue invaded my mouth. It was silky and hot, and made me ache to get more of my skin in contact with his. I reached around his ribs and pulled him on top of me, wanting to feel some of his weight. He helped me lie back onto the couch, cushioning my head as I went down.

  He hovered over me for a few seconds before sitting up to take off his shirt. The freaking torso was even better than I remembered, and that was hard to believe. I'd been going to yoga recently (mainly to get into shape for Josh) and boy was I glad. Josh had the type of body that women stop and stare at. I knew because I was staring at it for a few seconds before he got off the couch completely to remove his jeans. He said something about "getting those things out of the way" but I was too busy staring at the beautiful shape of his firm chest. He had on black boxer briefs and I was reasonably sure I'd never seen something so hot in all my life.

  "While we're at it," I said. I grabbed my shirt by the hem, and lifted it over my head tossing it to the floor then I made quick work of my pants, and they landed right next to my shirt. I sat back, bracing my weight on my hands and waiting for him to make the next move.

  "You can do whatever you want with those panties," he said, "but the bra has to come off." I unclasped the bra and tossed it to the side as well. Josh told me to lie back, and he proceeded to kiss me and touch me as if he wanted to explore every last inch of my body.

  After what seemed like an eternity, but was more like a few minutes of the gentle touch of his mouth and hands, I was writhing and breathless. The teasing pressure was no longer enough. I wanted to feel the weight of him on top of me. I wanted to feel the pressure of him inside me.

  "Josh," I whispered, "I want you. I want this. Please."

  Josh didn't try to talk me out of it. He just smiled as he bent to kiss my neck. He ever so gently guided the tip of his erection to the opening at my center. His hand was wrapped around it, near the end, and I loved the feel of his fist against me. Just about crazy with desire, I forced my hips forward to increase t
he pressure. He pushed forward to meet my thrust.

  I was so ready for him that he had no problem pushing into me in one motion. I gasped at the intrusion, but then settled into enjoying the sensation that came from being stretched so tightly. I pulled on his backside, forcing him to remain buried deep inside me. I closed my eyes and concentrated on nothing else but the feel of his hard length on the inside of me. It felt so good, I almost lost it right there, even with him being completely still.

  "Oh my God, Josh. I love how this feels. It's too good." I sucked air through my teeth as I enjoyed the warm rush that pulsed through me. "I think I'm going to—"

  "It's okay," he whispered, "you can."

  I started rocking my hips in a slow rhythm. Josh was as solid as iron, pressing down on me with relentless pressure. I writhed against him, moving my body against his until an earth-shattering orgasm overtook me. I felt as if I had jumped off the edge of a cliff and was falling for a long minute before I came to my senses again.

  Josh remained inside me, still completely motionless. He smiled at me as he lowered to place sweet kisses on my cheeks and forehead. We stayed tangled on that couch for another hour, and by the end of it we were both exhausted.

  I felt as though I had bared every part of myself to Josh Rand that evening, like I didn't hold anything back. I wasn't just giving him my body, I was giving him my heart, and even though it might have been naïve, I actually trusted him with both.

  Chapter 20

  Josh

  It was official. I couldn't be held responsible for my actions when I heard a few simple notes from Brit's soft little raspy voice. It had to be the vulnerable quality of it that compelled me. Whatever it was somehow caused me to want to protect her. The sound of it made me forget all insecurities about the way things had ended up last time we were together. I knew there was a possibility things would wind up being awkward again, but I just couldn't make myself care enough about the risk to change my course of action. I wanted her, and it seemed like she wanted me too. What was there to do but go with it?

  We had a really nice time on the couch (if you know what I mean) before ordering some takeout. I was glad we slept together early in the day. That way sleep wouldn’t create that distance it had last time. I didn't want to waste any time with awkwardness. If we could get along in the bed, there should be no reason we couldn't get along in the rest of life.

  We talked about it, and I decided to spend a few hours over at her house, but then go home for the night. I could tell both of us were contemplating mentioning me spending the night, but neither of us came out and said anything. I knew it was pretty early in the relationship to be starting with the overnight visits. But what the hell did I know about relationships anyway? And wasn't it sort of weird that I felt okay sleeping with a girl, but not with sleeping over at her house? Regardless of whether or not I wanted to spend the night (which I did) I didn't have clothes or a toothbrush. Not to mention, it was Monday evening, and I had to be at work early in the morning. Brit was totally fine with me not spending the night. Maybe she was like me and figured it was just too early in the relationship.

  We talked about her being afraid of the dark, and she said she was giving some serious thought to getting a Bullmastiff dog like Emily's. Sal possessed the perfect combination of intimidating looks and lazy, gentle temperament, and Brit was really putting some serious thought into getting one. What's more is that Gretchen and Joel both liked the idea of having another dog like Sal hanging around the property.

  Brit had been looking into breeders online, and had it narrowed down to a few places. They were all in the L.A. area, so she had plans to go visit the parents once she got serious about buying one. She said first she needed to get settled in and catch up on her finances since moving was so expensive.

  I was totally supportive of the idea of Brit having a dog. Obviously, she didn't have much to worry about since she was on gated property, but I knew the dog would help her with her fear of being alone. And, for God's sake, I certainly didn't want Trevor (or any other friend who happens to be a guy) coming over to keep her company at night.

  Before I left that night, Brit showed me my painting. I'd seen it propped against the wall, but it was mostly blocked by other canvases. It was the coolest thing I'd ever seen, and that's not just because I really liked the artist. The color patterns were in a circular design, but the painting was made from tiny painted squares that gave it the look of a mosaic. The combinations of colors and textures on all those little painted squares drew me in, and I found myself staring at the painting for several long minutes, checking out all those cool squares. Each one was different. A time or two I even reached out to run my finger on one of them to feel the bumpy texture. Brit just sat there and watched me inspect it.

  Finally, I looked at her.

  "Whatcha think?" she asked. She was wincing.

  "Brit, seriously. Thank you so much for not letting Trevor talk you into giving him this and painting me another one. I mean, not that I don't think you could do it again, which I totally think you can, it's just that I want this painting. I love it. Name your price. I'll write you a check right now."

  She loved that I loved it, and a huge smile spread across her face.

  "I want you to have it."

  "I'm so glad we agree."

  "No, I mean I want to give it to you. Like for free."

  I laughed. "There's no way I could let you do that. I can't even begin to imagine how many hours you've spent on that thing. Seriously, name your price."

  "Josh, I'm being serious too. It's something I've already thought about. I can't take money from you. I don't want to. I really want to make it a gift. Please let me." She reached out to touch my hand as if the contact would let me know how sincere she was. I could easily see she was sincere, but I was sincere about wanting to give her something for her time also.

  "I don't feel right about taking it without giving you something," I said. "You know, to help you get moved."

  She looked at me, her eyes pleading with me to understand. "It may be too early or weird for me to say this, but I'll just go ahead and say it so you understand… I really like you, and I don't want you to give me anything for the painting. I want it to be a gift…you know, because I like you." She reached up and ran her fingers through my hair.

  I smiled. "I like you too, Brit. And I'm not going to argue anymore because I see what you mean, I guess I wouldn't like it if you tried to pay me for a gift."

  "Finally," she said, smiling and putting her arms around my neck. She stood to her tiptoes and put her lips to mine in a quick kiss.

  I wanted to take the painting with me when I left, but she insisted she wanted to do one final tweak on it before she let it go. I told her there wasn't a thing I'd change, but she said what she had in mind was so minor that I wouldn't even notice. I made her promise to have it to me soon since I was anxious to hang it in my apartment.

  ****

  The next day after work I rode out to Joel's property in the hills. The cabin was dang-near ready and I was excited to see some of the finishing touches that were being added. Joel had consulted with me some when they began laying the foundation, and I'd been in on a few construction suggestions that he'd ultimately gone with. It was a beautiful project, and I was glad to be a part of it.

  I pulled up a few minutes early, and got out of my truck to look around the outside of the house. It was after 5PM, and there were still a couple of crews on the property, one doing landscaping with brightly colored flowers, and the other putting up an iron fence and gate. They didn't need a privacy fence way out here on property this big, but the iron fence and gate was a nice accent to the massive amount of landscaping that was going in.

  Joel pulled up just as I circled back to the front of the house. He had Gretchen and the baby with him, and we all exchanged hugs and handshakes before making our way into the house. Gretchen settled the baby on a blanket on the couch as Joel and I walked around the house to see all th
e changes.

  I asked Gretchen if she wanted me to sit with the baby while she looked at everything but she said she'd already been there once that day. She just came along for the ride. I told her how much I liked the furniture she picked out.

  "Thanks!" she said. "I just copied things I liked from Pinterest and hired people to do what I couldn't."

  "It looks great," I said. "I think everyone should have a house in the woods."

  "It's funny you say that," Gretchen said, "because we're making it available to our family and close friends."

  I gave her a questioning look.

  "Joel and I made ten copies of the key. We're giving them to the people we love. We want you to be able to use the cabin anytime we're not using it. All you have to do is call us and see if it's open, and if so, you'll have your own key and you can just let yourself in."

  "You're letting your cabin be a free timeshare?" I asked.

  Gretchen and Joel both laughed.

  "Yeah, I guess so," Joel said, "We just like to think of it as giving our family a key. It's not like we're giving them to people we don't trust."

  I couldn't believe how free this couple was with their money. All of our friends had some measure of success, but Joel was the only one who had money to share, and the most amazing part was that he actually shared it. The cabin was beautifully furnished, and I had a hard time believing they'd just pass out keys to their friends. I had an even harder time believing that I was apparently one of those friends, and I'd be able to use the place.

  "You're not worried that someone will come in and trash the place?" I asked.

  "It's just like I said, we trust you guys. We're only giving it to our closest friends," Joel said.

  "Hey Josh," Gretchen interjected. "This is unrelated, but I saw your truck at the house yesterday."

  "Yeah, Brit's company left, and she called to see what I was up to."