Help Me, Hold Me: Full Heart Ranch Series #5

by Barbara Gee

  “Thanks for the warning,” Callie said with a grimace. “I’m not a selfie fanatic and I haven’t been on Facebook in months, but Brit would post about us in a hot second. She loves getting those views and comments, especially on breaking news.”

  “When are you going to tell her?”

  Good question. Callie realized she was squeezing his hand like a vice, and she made an effort to relax. When she loosened her grip, he let go of her hand and put his arm around her again.

  “Am I sensing some reluctance?” he asked.

  She hesitated, then nodded. “I feel guilty. She’s been so excited about you coming here. The day you arrived, she and Rose spent the whole morning watching for you, and after we met that first morning, she was sure you were interested in her. She tried to call me yesterday but I didn’t pick up because I was afraid she’d talk about you and I didn’t know what to say.”

  “Will she be mad?”

  “Not mad exactly. Just disappointed and maybe kinda hurt.” Callie wrinkled her nose. “She’s not used to me getting in the way of her plans.”

  “Will she get over it?”

  Callie assured him Brit would get over it quickly, and even be happy for them. “It’s just that initial shock I’m dreading. She can be dramatic.”

  “Sorry to cause trouble with your friends.”

  She looked up, loving the sight of his profile against the moonlit sky. “It’ll be okay. We’ve been through worse. She actually stole my seventh-grade boyfriend.”

  “Intentionally?”

  “She didn’t set out to do it, but when she broke up with her own boyfriend and was available again, Darrin simply couldn’t resist her charms.”

  “I know how Darrin felt. Only it’s the other friend I can’t resist.”

  He looked down at her with a warm smile, and Callie kind of wished she hadn’t nixed that second kiss.

  ***

  They walked up to the kitchen door and stood there staring at each other, both of them with their hands shoved in their back pockets.

  “So.” He dipped his head and smiled. “I hate to end this, but I need to let you get some sleep, in case Jeremiah gets you up later.”

  He was kind of hoping she’d say she didn’t need to sleep quite yet, but she reluctantly nodded.

  “I hate to end it too, but I have a lot to get done tomorrow.” She raised a brow. “Including figuring out what to make for supper for my—” she screwed up her face as if uttering the next word was the hardest thing she could imagine. “Boyfriend,” she said in a strangled voice, then ruined her feigned agony by laughing.

  Vince tapped her nose with a fingertip. “Thatta girl,” he teased. “It’ll be easier the next time.”

  “We’ll see.” She folded her arms and scuffed her boot on the step. “Um, if you want, you can come early tomorrow and we could get a short ride in before supper. I’ll make something I can put in the oven to cook while we’re out.”

  “That might work. I’ll see what Boone has going on at the rink and let you know.”

  She nodded and her curvy pink lips turned up in the smile he loved. He was gratified to see it reached all the way to her eyes, dispelling the shadows that usually lurked there. It made him feel he was bringing a little joy to her life to offset some of the stress she dealt with every day.

  The smile once again turned a little shy. “I’m really glad you came over,” she said.

  “Me too.” He saw her gaze drop to his mouth for the briefest second, and he knew she’d let him kiss her again, in spite of asking for time to recover. He almost went for it, then decided he’d let her think about it until tomorrow evening. He could wait until then to find out if kiss number two would live up to the first.

  Not that he doubted it. Kissing Callie had been pure heaven and it would be the same next time. Most likely every time. Boone had told him once that his first kiss with Jolene had been life-changing. Vince had been skeptical then, but now he understood.

  He put his hands lightly on Callie’s shoulders. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Sleep well.” He gave her a quick peck on the cheek, leaving before he could change his mind about that second kiss.

  She stayed by the door, giving him a quick wave as he got in the car. He got one last glimpse of her in his rearview mirror, and his heart felt about twice its usual size.

  You’re the one, Callie Green. I don’t know exactly how we’re going to work it all out, but you are definitely the one.

  CHAPTER 17

  Jeremiah pointed his fork in Callie’s direction as he chewed his scrambled eggs.

  “I knew it,” he said when he swallowed. “I knew you two were going to get together.”

  Callie raised her palms in dismay. First, he’d become a match-maker, and now he was all intuitive? “I didn’t say anything about being together, Grandpa. I just said he’s coming over for dinner.”

  “You wouldn’t have snuck out with him last night if you didn’t like him. And he obviously likes you, so I figure you’re probably together.”

  Her eyes widened and she felt like she was fifteen. “We weren’t sneaking. I mean….I guess we were, but only because I didn’t want to keep you up. I didn’t know he was coming over until you were already in bed.”

  “Yeah, well the cancer hasn’t affected my hearing. I heard you go upstairs and come back down a few minutes later, then I heard you two whispering in the kitchen before you snuck out the front door.” His eyes narrowed. “So you admit you like him? A lot?”

  Callie smiled sheepishly. “Sorry we bothered you. And yeah, I like him. He’s a nice guy, like you’ve been saying.”

  Jeremiah took another bite. “If you two have something going, tell me. I don’t want to be the last to know.”

  Callie took a sip of coffee. “We’re exploring the possibilities,” she said, not quite sure why she didn’t want to come right out and say they were together. Maybe it was because in the light of day, last night seemed too good to be true. What if she told her grandfather they were a couple, then Vince called to let her know that after sleeping on it, he’d decided being with her wasn’t what he wanted after all?

  As soon as the thought entered her mind she felt bad. Vince would be disappointed to know she was questioning what he’d told her.

  “What do you mean by exploring the possibilities?” Jeremiah asked after another bite of egg. “Are you two together, or not?”

  She got up and poured hot water into a mug, dropping in a teabag before she carried it over to the table and set it in front of Jeremiah. Then she went back over to the counter and put a slice of bread in the toaster.

  “It’s not something I planned, Grandpa,” she said, quietly, staring at the glowing red wires inside the toaster. “I mean, sure, I hoped to some day find a man I could see myself settling down with. I’ve always assumed I’d get married, and hopefully have kids. A new generation to run around on the Double Nickel.”

  “So what’s the problem?” he wondered, still eating. “I like Vince better’n any of the others you’ve brought around. Not that there’ve been any in a few years now. If Barlow’s got such slim pickins, you should be glad ole Vince came to town.”

  Callie resisted the urge to roll her eyes at his rambling. “The problem, Grandpa, is my head and my heart are arguing. My heart seems to have settled on Vince, and I’ve decided to see where things go with him, but my head says it might not end well. I’m afraid he’ll go back to Minneapolis in a couple of months and realize being with me is too much work. Then I’ll be left trying to pick up the pieces. And I think there’d be a lot of them.”

  Jeremiah gave her a knowing look. “But you also think there’s a chance for you two to go the distance. A good chance. You wouldn’t be taking the plunge, otherwise.” He pointed his fork at her again. “You’re a cautious girl, Callie, which isn’t a bad thing. But if your heart is telling you Vince Abbot is a keeper, you need to listen.”

  The toast popped and she buttered it slowly, wondering if Jeremiah r
eally didn’t see the problem with that, or if he was just ignoring it. “I’d have to leave the ranch, Grandpa,” she said quietly. “I don’t want to do that.”

  “Not even temporarily? Until he’s had his fill of playing hockey?”

  “That’ll be years, and I have no idea what comes after that. I don’t know if he could be happy living here in tiny little Barlow, and I’m not sure I could be content in the city. Plus, I want my kids to grow up here. Like I did.” She spread grape jelly on the toast. “Those are the kinds of things that can ruin a relationship.”

  “You’d choose the Double Nickel over true love?” He grunted and bobbed his tea bag. “I thought you were smarter than that, my girl.”

  “Oh, so you have it all figured out?” She sat down across from him and bit into the toast. “Do tell,” she said as she chewed, her eyes pleading for him to share his wisdom.

  “I don’t have it figured out, but I do know exactly what you’re thinking, Callie-girl. You’re thinking about Margaret and me. How unhappy she was here, and how she ended up leaving me high and dry. You don’t want history to repeat itself with you and Vince.”

  Actually, Callie hadn’t consciously thought about that, but was he right? Was she feeling the situation was impossible because it had proved to be so for the grandmother she’d never met?

  “I don’t know, Grandpa. Maybe.”

  “You need to remember that big difference we talked about. Margaret never loved me. Most of the time, she didn’t even like me much. That doesn’t give a person much incentive to try, ya know? You need to learn to appreciate whatever circumstances allow you to be with the man you love. If moving to the city is all it takes, well then, be glad that city is there for the two of you. Make it what you want it to be for your family. After all, it was good enough for Vince, right? He grew up citified, and still turned out okay.”

  Callie laid her half-eaten toast on the plate and propped her head on her hand, amazed at his long speech. “Well. That all sounds so logical, it makes me feel bad for worrying about it. It’s easier said than done, though, right? It’s not something I can just make up my mind to do and not look back, because the survival of the Double Nickel is at stake. I don’t want to lose this place. I want it to stay just like it is for at least a few more generations of Greens, but it would be almost impossible to keep it going if I’m not here.”

  She saw tears in his eyes and blinked back her own. “I can’t stand the thought of selling this place. Of never being able to come back to it. I can’t imagine telling my kids about it, but never being able to bring them here. It would feel like I’m short-changing them. Even if I find I can be happy in the city with Vince, I’d always have a little hole in my heart.”

  Jeremiah leaned forward, resting his arms on the table. His eyes were still watery, but his voice was strong. “If you had all the money you could ever want, Callie, what would you do with it?”

  She blinked, confused as to why he would ask her that. “Um, well, considering what we’re discussing, obviously I’d use some of it to keep the ranch going strong, even if I leave. And I like to think I’d give a ton of it away.” She frowned. “Why ask me that, Grandpa? You planning on winning the lottery?”

  He sighed heavily. “No, my girl. Nothing that simple. I was just curious. I’d like to make your life easier.” His gaze moved past her, toward the window, but not focusing. “A cash windfall would do that in some ways,” he said, “but it might cause more problems in the long run.”

  “It doesn’t matter,” she said with a shrug. “A cash windfall isn’t in my future. I’ll figure things out, one way or another.”

  He nodded, his expression warm, love evident in his weary blue eyes as he looked at her again. “Don’t overthink it, my girl. You really only have to answer one question, and I think you’ve already done that.”

  Callie tilted her head. “And what is that question, oh wise one?”

  He raised his brows and took a sip of tea. “You’ve got the ranch, and you’ve got Vince. Which one can’t you live without?”

  ***

  That was the question, and Callie stewed on it all day. She tried to keep busy, but it was always on her mind.

  In the morning, she spent a couple hours out in the barn. First, she helped Quinn with the feeding, then talked with Sam and Lance about how the wheat, corn, flax and alfalfa were looking. All the crops could use a good rain, but the forecast looked promising for the next week. If they could get an inch or more out of the storm system, they’d be in real good shape.

  They also talked about some work that needed to be done on the hay baler, which they wanted to get taken care of before the next cutting. Callie told them she’d run it by Jeremiah, but she was sure he would say it was fine to go ahead and get the parts they needed.

  So far Jeremiah still wanted to be involved in the day to day decisions, but it was getting harder for Sam and Lance to get access to him. Even when they came to the house, catching him at a good time was difficult. Callie knew this had delayed their plans more than once, and she determined to do a better job at being the go-between. Things like baler repairs couldn’t wait for Jeremiah to feel good enough to discuss it.

  When she returned to the house, she fixed Jeremiah a cup of tea, then stirred up a batch of dough for dinner rolls. She covered the bowl and placed it on the counter by a sunny window to help the dough raise, then made a quick trip into Barlow to get the items on her grocery list. Her menu was basic but hearty—meatballs, potatoes, green beans, rolls, and strawberry shortcake for dessert.

  Back at the house, she tried to get some bookwork done, but thoughts of Vince meant she spent more time daydreaming than entering numbers. After an hour with very little progress, she decided to go outside and work in the flowerbeds around the house. She could pull weeds even when she was distracted, so that worked out well.

  When she got to the end of the second flower bed, she sank back on her heels, looking up at the house she’d lived in since she was three. It was such a great house. She knew and loved every square inch of it, and raising her own family here had been her dream for longer than she could remember.

  Had Vince single-handedly changed that dream?

  A week ago, she’d have laughed at the idea. That was before she’d actually met the man….and had her world turned upside down.

  Now Jeremiah’s question was stuck in her head. A Jeremiah earworm.

  Which one can’t I live without?

  ***

  Vince had sent her a text at noon saying he could get there by five, if that would give them enough time for a ride before dinner. It was the first she’d heard from him since one brief ‘good morning, hope you have a great day’ text. His silence was understandable because she knew mornings were crazy busy at the retreat center, but she’d have liked a little more, mostly because she was worried he was rethinking things.

  She hoped him taking her up on the offer of a ride meant he was eager to see her, and not regretting anything from last night.

  At a few minutes before five, she’d taken the golden shortcake from the oven and was replacing it with dishes of potatoes and meatballs when she heard him knock. She closed the oven door and took a deep breath, then went to answer the door, her heart hammering with anticipation and nerves. Would he be happy to see her, or would his eyes hold the apology of a man who’d changed his mind?

  She swung the door open, her stomach bottoming out at the sight of him standing there with a smile on his handsome face.

  Happy. He was definitely happy. Relief flooded through her as he stepped through the door, his eyes searching hers.

  “I missed you,” he said softly, his big, warm hands going immediately to her waist. “How can you be more beautiful every time I see you?”

  He tugged her closer, until the barest inch separated them. She put her hands on his arms, feeling the hard bulge of his biceps.

  “I missed you too,” she said, not even trying to hold back the wide smile he put on her
face.

  His hands tightened. “I’m glad. I was afraid a day apart would give you a chance to decide you don’t need the headaches I’m going to cause you.”

  She laughed. “I was worried about you deciding the same thing. I come with a few headaches myself.”

  He chuckled. “Nothing I can’t handle,” he promised. He looked past her and inhaled deeply. “What are you cooking? It smells incredible.”

  “You’ll have to wait and see. If we don’t get going, we’ll run out of time to ride.”

  “Shall I say hi to Jeremiah before we go?”

  Callie shook her head. “I just checked on him five minutes ago and he was dozing in his chair. I roused him enough to tell him we were going to go for a quick ride, and supper will be on the table soon after six.”

  She let go of him and leaned down to pull on her boots. “I told Quinn he didn’t need to exercise Edison and Leo today. He was glad because he has a hot date this evening and was worried about running late.”

  “Yeah, well I’m a little worried about getting out of bed tomorrow. This morning was the first time my legs haven’t hurt since our last ride.”

  She gave him a sideways look. “Come on, Vince,” she teased. “You’re a big, bad professional athlete. You should have the ‘no pain, no gain’ line down pat.”

  “Doesn’t mean I have to like it,” he responded.

  “But if you’re gonna be a big, bad cowboy, you have to suck it up.” She grabbed his hand as they stepped outside. “How was your day at the rink?”

  He told her about it as they got in the Gator and drove to the barn. He and one of the veterans, nicknamed Tug, were hitting it off. Tug had played high school football in Texas, then two years of college ball, before he decided to enlist in the Marines and serve his country. He’d lost one of his legs just above the knee on his second deployment to the “sandbox”, and had spent the last two and a half years learning to live with the physical and mental implications of that.