To Protect Her Son

by Stella MacLean

“Why? Is something wrong with her?” Nate asked as they went into the kitchen.

  “There’s nothing wrong with her, except she’s being mean.”

  * * *

  GAYLE GRITTED HER TEETH. “He wants to know about his father, and I have nothing more I can tell him.”

  “I just want to know what my dad was like. What was his favorite sports team? Did he like to play golf? Did he like the same foods that I do? Do I look like him? I can’t find any photos of him except the one when you got married.”

  “Gayle, maybe the three of us could talk this over. Adam really needs your support on this. There must be something more you could tell him.”

  “Whose side are you on?” she muttered, her voice breaking as she met his gaze.

  “Mom, I’m only asking for a little information. I’ve never bugged you about Dad before, but now it’s important.”

  How she wished she’d never lied about Harry. Yet she felt she had little choice if she was to protect her son. At the time she couldn’t afford to move away from Anaheim and didn’t want to uproot Adam’s life anyway. Only after he’d begun seeking out kids in his class who weren’t good influences had she realized she had to move. “Adam, let’s talk about this later. Right now you have to get ready and go with Nate.”

  “Mom, that’s not fair.” He turned to Nate. “Would you help me search on the internet? I can’t find anything about my dad, but I’d like to give it another try. Would you?”

  Nate looked to Gayle. “I think it would be better for both of you if you searched the online sites together. There must be newspaper reports, maybe even a death certificate, online.”

  Gayle bit her lips in fear. She couldn’t let this go any further. She looked at both of them. “Okay, while you’re out I’ll go online and see what I can find.”

  “Sure,” Adam said, a wide smile on his face. He crossed the room and hugged his mother, lifting her off her feet and swinging her around the room. “This will be so great. I can’t wait to get back and see what you’ve found out about my dad.”

  The minute they left, Gayle hurried to the computer on the desk in the corner of the den. She’d typed in Harry’s name and waited for it to come up. First she found two men whose names were Harry Young. Two lived in New Zealand. One was Harry Exeter Young and the other was simply Harry Young. Both lived on the north island known as Te Ika-a-Māui. One owned a brewery and the other a winery.

  She scrolled down the search page, but didn’t see any mention of her ex. Could she be worried about nothing? Had Harry’s incarceration meant that he wouldn’t be listed anywhere? Had he died in prison? She clicked on the second page of the Google search.

  The screen filled with a page of references to Harry Young, Anaheim, California, the date of the shooting and the trial, followed farther down by a local TV channel in Los Angeles talking about the prison where Harry had been sent fourteen years ago.

  She clicked on the video out of curiosity. Suddenly a news reporter was speaking live outside the prison, talking about Harry Young, a man who had shot a police officer fourteen years ago, who was up for parole after exemplary behavior helping other inmates learn to cope with life inside the prison.

  Her heart pounded in her chest. She could barely breathe. It couldn’t be him. She kept on searching, hoping for a photo of this person they were talking about. She couldn’t find one.

  The next piece was an article about the parole system, and criminals’ chances of early parole. The article was written only two weeks ago. Surely they hadn’t let Harry out. She went to the next piece, this time in the Anaheim newspaper, which said that the parole hearing had made its final decision. There was a picture of Harry taken years ago, one she recognized. His eyes were hard and cold, his jaw set in a rigid line.

  This man was being released and would create havoc for her and her son. What if someone had told him about Adam, and Harry was determined to find him? She knew Harry. If he wanted something, no one stood in his way, least of all her.

  She raced through the article to learn that Harry had been released two months ago, that he was a born-again Christian who planned to devote his life to helping prisoners adjust to living on the outside. There were several more articles about him, but none with recent photos. The stories seemed to be more about what early parole meant to the community at large.

  Her hands shaking, she began to search for any other references to Harry. It seemed that once he was released and the story became old news, interest had vaporized. She breathed slowly, trying to collect her thoughts.

  She couldn’t take any chances on anyone connecting Harry to Adam. She searched her past for someone who might know about Harry, or had kept in touch with him during his prison time.

  The only person she could come up with was Ken Evans. He’d been Harry’s friend back then, but had taken pity on her when Harry had been sent to prison. He’d helped her out financially for a couple of months until she found a job. Her fingers flew over the keys, searching for his phone number, surprised to learn that he still lived in the same apartment building and had a listed telephone number. She checked her watch. She was amazed at how little time had passed since she started her search. It felt like hours but it had only been about twenty minutes. She grabbed the phone and dialed the number.

  A very old-sounding man answered.

  “Is this Ken Evans?” she asked, willing herself to breathe.

  “Yes. Who’s this?”

  “It’s Gayle Young.”

  “Well, for goodness’ sake. It’s been a long time. How are you doing?”

  “I’m fine. I wondered if you’d seen the news? Harry is out on parole.”

  “Yes, I did. But Harry and I haven’t been in touch for years. Are you looking for him?”

  “No, I’m not. I...I needed to know if you told anyone I was expecting his baby?”

  “No. I promised I wouldn’t, and I didn’t. Why do you ask?”

  “No real reason, I guess,” she said, trying to sound disinterested.

  “I hope you’re not wanting to hook up with him again?”

  “No! Never!”

  “That’s good.”

  She could hear someone entering the room, and Ken said quickly, “Look, it’s been great talking to you. I got to go.”

  “Sure, Ken.”

  “Oh, before I let you go. Did you have Harry’s baby?”

  “Ah...no. No, I didn’t. I lost the baby.” She felt degraded by yet another lie she’d been forced to tell to keep her son safe here in Eden Harbor. But she couldn’t risk Harry getting in touch with Ken Evans and finding out about Adam. She sucked in a deep breath.

  “I’m sorry to hear that. Take care now.” And he hung up.

  At least if Harry got in touch with Ken, he could only find out that she’d been pregnant. Unless someone else knew about her son... After Harry went to prison she’d bought a one-way bus ticket to Riverside where she’d gotten a job as a doctor’s receptionist while she’d waited for Adam to be born. It wasn’t until he’d started school that she’d moved back to Anaheim in the vain hope that her half brother, Alfred McGuire, would want to be involved in her and Adam’s life. She’d wanted Adam to have some sort of family connection, but it hadn’t worked out. Alfred had shown no interest in Adam. Meanwhile she’d found a job in the health-records department of a nearby hospital and had gone to work building a life.

  Now all she had to do was keep Adam from finding out about Harry until she figured out what to do. If she got lucky, the news of Harry’s release would never reach Adam. But what should she do about his need to search the internet? She had to stall him somehow. She stared at the screen of information about Harry...

  Her one hope was that Adam would never learn his father’s last name. That he would look for him as Harry Sawyer. All she had to do was enter the name
Harry Sawyer before Adam and Nate returned.

  A quick search of the name turned up two in New York, both of whom were alive. If Adam did continue to search, he wouldn’t find his father as long as no one learned that Harry’s last name was Young and not Sawyer.

  When Adam returned, she’d tell him the truth—that she hadn’t found anything relating to Harry Sawyer and a trawler accident.

  CHAPTER TEN

  GAYLE SPENT HER lunch break the following day checking the internet for further information about Harry’s release. Thankfully there didn’t seem to be anything more being reported.

  She didn’t think that Harry had much interest in her, and by now he wouldn’t have any way of finding her since her parents were both deceased. She hadn’t left a forwarding address with anyone other than the woman who lived in the apartment next to hers—Mary Ellen Bartlett. She’d confided her story to Mary Ellen, the only person she’d felt she could trust back then. They hadn’t stayed in touch since she’d moved to Eden Harbor over a year ago. Not wanting to disconnect completely from the only person who had offered her motherly help and advice, she’d given Mary Ellen her cell phone number.

  “What are you doing here when you should be at lunch?” Sherri asked as she approached the reception desk.

  Gayle quickly switched from the internet to the registration module. “I was just finishing up a couple of things before I go to the cafeteria. I’m running late for lunch, but I promise to come right back so that we can be ready for the afternoon clinic.”

  “Don’t be silly. You’re always working extra time. Don’t worry about taking a few minutes now. I need you fresh for this afternoon’s clinic. You know Dr. Samuelson always has add-ons, which means more work for you.”

  “Thanks,” she said, and meant it with her whole heart. If only she could confide in Sherri, but it was out of the question. Her best friend didn’t need to know what a fraud she was. Her stomach ached from the stress, making eating impossible, but she should at least have a cup of tea.

  When she reached the cafeteria, she purchased tea and a packet of cookies and went to sit at the table where she could watch TV for a few minutes before going back to work. She had always found television the easiest way to get her mind off her worries. Sliding into the chair, she stirred her tea as she half listened to one of the national networks.

  She opened the packet of cookies just as the announcer began a segment on what it meant to be a Christian and its impact on... She glanced up at the screen. A keening cry escaped her lips at the sight of an old photo of Harry. The announcer was talking about how Christianity had saved this man, who’d sought forgiveness from God for his past sin of shooting a police officer. A classic story of God’s love and the miracle of redemption. They were going to interview Harry after the commercial break.

  She glanced around, seeing that several people were staring at her. She had to get out of here. She had to leave work, go home. She’d call Mary Ellen and warn her not to tell the media anything if they contacted her. Meanwhile, all she had to do was get past the next few days until interest in the story waned, and her secret would be safe.

  She left the cafeteria and went back to the clinic. Needing to do a thorough search of anything relating to Harry, especially where he might be, she needed to get home to the privacy of her own computer. She would have to tell Sherri she was leaving for the rest of the day, as busy as it was.

  “I hope you don’t have that flu that’s going around,” Sherri said when Gayle told her she had to leave. Sherri pressed her fingers to Gayle’s forehead, her expression one of sincere concern, riddling Gayle with guilt. It hurt so much not to be able to tell her friend the truth.

  “I’m afraid it might be,” Gayle said, grabbing her purse and starting for the door.

  “I’ll call you when I get home from work and see how you’re feeling,” Sherri said.

  “Thanks.” With that she was out the door, and on her way to the car. When she got to the safety of her house, she put in a call to Mary Ellen. When the woman answered, she greeted her as enthusiastically as she could. “Mary Ellen, how are you? It’s Gayle Sawyer calling.”

  “How lovely to hear from you, dear. I’m just fine. Except for the arthritis in my knees I’m doing just great. And you? And how’s that boy of yours? I miss him being around here.”

  “He’s good. At school right now.”

  “How are you enjoying your aunt’s house?”

  “We love it. I have a garden, and there’s a shed for gardening tools in the backyard. Adam mows the lawn. He mows several of our neighbors’ lawns, as well.”

  “That’s nice. Gives him a little spending money. Gayle, dear, I was going to call you. I have something I need to tell you. Harry Young was here yesterday.”

  “What?”

  “He knows all about Adam, where you live, and he’s coming to visit you. I don’t know how he found out that you used to live here.” There was a short pause. “I made a bad mistake.”

  “What was that?” Gayle asked, her heart thudding slowly and painfully in her chest.

  “He was so charming, so sincere when he asked about you. I...I told him where you lived. I didn’t mean to. I’m so sorry.”

  She couldn’t waste time speculating on how Harry had tracked her to the apartment in the first place. That didn’t matter anymore.

  Harry would be here any moment, likely followed by some overeager reporter. Once everyone in Eden Harbor knew about her past, once Adam learned that she’d lied to him, that she’d lied to her friends, her life here would be over. Her major concern was Adam. Somehow she would have to explain why she’d lied to him about Harry and beg his forgiveness.

  She could not have Harry in her house. Not here. The one place she felt safe. “He’s coming to Eden Harbor? Are you sure?”

  “Yes. He told me he’s been out of prison a couple of months and was working with ex-cons.”

  “Look, Mary Ellen, I’ve got to go.”

  “Oh, I understand. And I’m so sorry for my mistake. If you need somewhere to stay for a few days or weeks, you and Adam are welcome back here anytime. I miss both of you.”

  “I miss you, too. Thank you so much. I really appreciate it, but I’ve got to go.”

  She hung up and immediately dialed Nate’s number. When he didn’t answer, she left a message. Regardless of what their personal relationship was or was not, she needed his help to protect Adam from Harry. But first she had to get everything packed up before Adam got home from school. While she was doing that, she had to come up with a plausible explanation for why they were leaving town. As she packed, she considered various scenarios, and not one of them would work. Moving here had made sense given the house, but there was nothing she could think of to explain why they had to leave now.

  As she moved through the house picking up things that needed to be packed, she noticed Adam’s baseball cap, and the ticket stubs from the last time Nate had taken him to a movie. She gripped the edge of the hall table in desperation. She’d be leaving Nate as well as Sherri and Anna. Ragged sobs shook her body. She’d be leaving everyone who mattered in her life, all for a man who had only caused her misery.

  She sat down on the sofa and tried to collect her runaway thoughts. She clenched her fists to hold back her tears. She couldn’t cry. She had to think. The raw truth swirled around her mind, tearing at her resolve. She didn’t want to leave Eden Harbor—her friends and the first real home she’d ever known.

  She loved these people. She’d never had anyone she could rely on. Now she did...and she had to abandon all of them.

  But if she stayed, she’d have to tell Adam the truth, knowing that sooner or later everyone in town would know about her lies. Her life would be laid bare for everyone to speculate about. As much as she wanted to remain, she couldn’t. She also had a responsibility to Adam.


  The phone rang, its sound echoing around the room. She checked caller ID.

  Nate. She would give everything she had to be free to pick up that phone and have a normal conversation with him. She loved him, and never more than now when she had to give him up. Her hands shook as they hovered over the phone. “Hello,” she said at last, her voice thick with tears.

  * * *

  NATE HEARD THE distress in Gayle’s voice. “I got your message. What’s wrong?”

  “Nate...I’m in trouble. I need your advice. Could you come over right now?”

  He’d never heard Gayle sound so desperate. “Are you ill?”

  “No.” There was a long pause. “Look, never mind. This was a bad idea.”

  “Hey! Wait a minute. It’s not a bad idea at all. Just give me a minute and I’ll be right over.”

  He grabbed his jacket, jumped in his SUV and was in Gayle’s driveway in a matter of minutes. He’d left his cane behind and half hobbled, half walked up the house. The door swung open and Gayle was in his arms, sobbing into his shoulder and nearly knocking him over.

  “There, now.” Wanting to comfort her, he patted her back, a move that made him feel out of place—awkward. “What’s happening?” he said, his nose pressed into the wonderful strawberry scent of her hair, her breasts against his chest and the pressure of her hips arousing him instantly. “Is Adam all right?” he asked, pulling away a little.

  She clung to him, her face damp with tears. “He won’t be if I can’t stop...” She fought for control. “I need you to help me.”

  He filled his lungs with her scent before tucking her gently into the curve of his arm. “Now, let’s go inside and you tell me what’s going on,” he said, while his heart swelled in his chest. This woman had a way of catching his attention and holding it. She had from the beginning.

  But what was behind all the tears? He’d never seen her cry. Leading her to the sofa, he eased her down close to him. “Now, tell me what’s going on.”

  “I haven’t told the truth about Harry. He didn’t die in a trawler accident. He is...was in prison for shooting a police officer in Anaheim. I was in my last year of high school. My parents weren’t much as parents go. I met Harry one night when I went out to a bar.