The Pilot's Promise

by Pam Mantovani

  “You didn’t tell her. About why I came.”

  “I thought it best to wait until we talked a little more.” He paused, met her gaze. “Made some decisions.”

  As far as she was concerned there was nothing else to talk about. She’d done what she’d come here to do – she’d told him the news. She had no expectations, didn’t intend to make any demands. She’d long ago learned to depend on no one but herself.

  “I don’t expect anything from you,” she said. “I’ll handle everything.”

  “You might not expect anything, but I’m not going to let you do this alone.”

  For some unexplained reason, his calm manner, the innate confidence that guided and protected him as a pilot, fired up her temper.

  “Look around you, Andrew.” She whipped out an arm. “You’ve got family, you’ve always had family, to stand beside you. To stand with you. I’ve been on my own more often than not since I was in elementary school. Even when my mother’s orders meant we lived together, she was absent more often than she was home.” The hated tears burned her eyes and tried to clog her throat. “My mother never told my father she was pregnant with me. It was only because they both ended up stationed at the same base that our paths crossed when I was twelve and I finally met him. Even then, he had little to do with me.”

  “What’s your point?”

  “My point?” She wanted to scream. “The point is you had a traditional upbringing, one that you can’t help but expect to have someday with a family of your own.” She lifted her hands, helplessly let them fall to her sides. How could she explain to him that she was afraid of failing as a mother?

  “I’m not geared toward that.”

  He stared at her for a long moment. Then, slowly, he uncrossed his legs, and set the coffee mug down on the counter before he again stared at her. Her breath backed up in her chest.

  “You’re wrong.”

  While she simply continued to stare at him, amazed and confused by his assertion, he walked toward her. Before she could step back, he gently drew her into his arms. For two seconds, no more, she held herself stiff before she gave in and relaxed into his embrace.

  “Stay,” he said. “Please.”

  “There’s no reason . . . ”

  “I’m asking.”

  She felt surrounded, warmed, by the way he held her. She was reminded of how it had felt to be with him, to make love with him. She was an educated, competent woman who worked and excelled in a demanding field. And still, she admitted, if only to herself, she felt stronger in his arms. She believed the choices she’d made, along with the ones she still had to make, could somehow be handled as long as he held her. Even if that eventually proved false or she found additional strength to handle it on her own, she knew right now she had only one choice.

  “Okay.”

  She’d stay for now, for a day or maybe two. After that? She’d make no promises. Not even to herself.

  Chapter 3

  “This isn’t necessary.” In spite of her misgivings about agreeing, an hour earlier, to his request that she stay a little longer, Hailey sent him a bemused look. “I can’t imagine I’ll be in a swimming suit much in the upcoming months.”

  “Don’t feel you have to bother with a suit on my account.”

  She looked at him as if shocked by the idea. Funny thing, Andrew had no problem imagining her, the two of them, together in that big pool with nothing but water between them.

  “Not happening buster.”

  “Hey, a guy can hope. Besides, I’m not going to be the one who explains to my mother that I didn’t take you shopping.”

  “Afraid of your momma, Andrew?”

  “Damn right.” He sent her a smile. “And if you tell her I swore, I’ll deny it.” When Hailey chuckled, a little of the tightness in his gut relaxed a little. “How you feeling? Need something?”

  “No, thanks. I seem to be in a holding pattern this morning.”

  “Have you had much sickness?”

  “What? You mean your ears didn’t blister on those mornings when I damned your soul to hell. Or my own,” she added while shifting to look out the passenger window. “It’s been nothing but five weeks of fun and games.”

  “I’m serious, Hailey.”

  “And you think I’m not?” She looked back at him, sighed. “Yes, there have been mornings when I suffered through the traditional morning sickness. I’ve read that it can help to keep some saltines next to the bed and eat a few before getting out of bed. Mostly, I’m tired.”

  “Have you been to a doctor?”

  “No. I took one of those home tests. Plus, I didn’t want to go to the base doctor yet, and have the results in my permanent file, until after I told you. I know I need to go, Andrew, but I’ve also done some research so I have a clue what I should and should not be doing.”

  “If anyone can find answers and chose the best course of action, my money would be on you.”

  “Thanks.”

  “I’d like to go with you. When you see the doctor. I can ask my mom for a recommendation if you want to see a civilian.”

  “Let me think about it.”

  “You shouldn’t wait too long, Hailey.”

  “I know.” She bit down on her lip, and then turned to again look out the passenger window. “After all the places you’ve lived, why did your mom chose to retire here in Florida?”

  His hands flexed on the steering wheel as he struggled with frustration. Andrew knew it wasn’t Hailey’s fault, after all she didn’t know how important it was to him that he be included in every aspect of this pregnancy. As he hadn’t been all those years ago. Time, he reflected. Much as he’d bided his time before making the move to be with her, he’d give Hailey a little more time. He might not know what he was going to do, but he damn sure knew what he wasn’t going to do. And that was turn his back on the situation.

  Or Hailey.

  “Because of all those other places we lived,” he said, thinking of his new orders for South Korea. He also needed to ask Hailey where she was being stationed. “After we lost Dad, Mom wanted to start somewhere new, without any memories.”

  “Your father was Army, right?”

  “Yes.”

  “Why did you choose the Air Force?”

  “I wanted to fly fighter planes. Why did you go with Air Force, when your mom’s Navy?”

  She shrugged and kept staring out the window. “Just thought it would be best if we went in different directions.”

  Hearing that lost quality to her voice, coupled with her earlier admission about being alone most of her life, convinced Andrew that she hadn’t told her mother about the pregnancy.

  One benefit of having become friends before they became lovers is they’d shared many memories and stories of their upbringing. Or, he realized, she’d always been full of questions about his and Joe’s families. On the other hand, he now recalled how often she’d deflected questions about her life. He’d always had family, thanks in part to having a twin, thanks again to his mother’s involvement in his and Anna’s lives. While his father had been away more than around, he’d always taken time to write or email him and Anna individually. And when Dad had been home he’d been attentive and made every effort to take an interest in whatever they’d been involved in at the time. From what she’d hinted at, Hailey didn’t have that kind of relationship with her mother.

  Reaching for the hand Hailey had resting on her thigh, he felt her stiffen. He kept his grasp loose as he linked their fingers, but wasn’t surprised that she didn’t pull away. One thing he’d learned during those secretive nights they spent together was that Hailey, for all her determination to be self-reliant, had a need to be touched and held. So many times he’d awoken in the middle of the night to discover her burrowed tight against him. When they were alone, she’d often absently reach out and rub a fingertip over the top of his hand or down his arm as they talked.

  While steering around a semi-truck, he snuck a glance at her. Most of the ti
me she wore a uniform, as did he. Since they’d met while stationed in Guam, they’d followed the off-duty practice of shorts and T-shirts. On one interesting night she’d worn nothing but his Air Force Academy T-shirt while they shared pizza and beer. Last night she’d worn those slacks that stopped mid-calf.

  Today was the first time he’d seen her in a civilian dress, some kind of soft feminine dress that stopped short of her knees and curved over her breasts. But it was her hair that got to him every single time. More so now that he knew exactly how it looked when she climbed out of bed. How soft it felt in his hands. Or trailing over his stomach.

  Andrew shook his head. What man in his right mind gave so much thought to a woman’s hair?

  “Is something wrong?”

  “No.” When a building caught his attention, he switched lanes and pulled into the parking lot of a medical clinic.

  “Andrew,” Hailey said, drawing out his name in protest.

  “I’m two pay grades ahead of you. Don’t make me pull rank.” Not waiting for any more argument, he exited the car and came around the hood to open Hailey’s door. When she sat there, stubbornly staring out the windshield and ignoring him, Andrew leaned in and offered his hand. “I just want to make sure you’re okay. Humor me.”

  She sat silent another few seconds, and then, with a huff of breath, she slid out of the car. “I told you I have every intention of seeing a doctor.”

  “No time like the present.” Taking her hand, he led them into the office. Andrew struggled not to duck his head when several women, with assorted sizes of protruding stomachs, stared at him.

  “What’s the matter, Captain?” Hailey teased. “Suddenly feel like you’re flying blind?”

  He looked at her, saw the sparkle in her gaze that had been missing since her appearance last night. “You can be my wingman anytime, Lieutenant.”

  Trying not to appear as if he was dragging her along, Andrew approached the check-in window.

  “Good morning,” the young woman behind the counter greeted them. “Do you have an appointment?”

  “No, we don’t,” he answered, with a smile. “See, we’re both Air Force, here in Barefoot Bay on leave.”

  “Thank you for your service. My brother’s a Marine.”

  “Well.” Andrew leaned an arm on the counter. “I promise not to hold that against you if you can get us in to see a doctor. You see,” he hurried when the woman opened her mouth, he presumed to tell them there were no open appointments. “My fiancé.” He looked at Hailey, who simply stared at him in astonishment. “Has just told me we’re expecting.”

  The woman behind the counter, as almost every woman he’d ever known would do and he should have prepared for, looked down at Hailey’s finger.

  “That’s our next stop.” With a smile, Andrew lifted Hailey’s left hand and pressed a soft kiss where a ring would rest. There were several sighs echoing in the small reception room. Hailey remained silent. “First, I want to make sure she’s healthy and everything is okay.”

  “Let me see if we can squeeze you in. In the meantime, please fill out these forms.”

  Andrew offered his thanks and drew Hailey to a chair, where he looked over her shoulder as she filled out the forms. He had to admit it was kind of fun to act like an adoring fiancé for the next forty minutes. After all, it gave him an excuse to kiss her cheek, sweep a fingertip through her hair, or nuzzle just under her ear, where he knew she was particularly sensitive.

  “Why did you say that?” Hailey whispered once he returned the forms to the receptionist and sat beside her.

  “Say what?” He reached for her hand, linked their fingers.

  “That I’m your fiancé.”

  He looked at her, saw confusion mix with barely subdued hope in her eyes. “Maybe we should. Get married I mean.” He blinked at the realization of what he’d just said.

  “Right. Because it makes so much sense to add another mistake on top of the one that got us here in the first place.”

  “Are you talking about getting pregnant? Or being together at all?”

  “Andrew.” Tears gathered in her eyes as her fingers closed tight on his. “I could never regret being with you.”

  “Then let’s get married.”

  She stared at him long enough for the tears to dry, the hope be swept away. He saw the sparkle come back an instant before she laughed.

  “Right. You had me going there for a minute. This isn’t some sort of flight mission that you can maneuver your way out of, Reynolds.”

  He opened his mouth to argue only to stop when a nurse called for Hailey. Just as well, he decided, as he sat, watching her follow the nurse. Still, it stunned him to realize he meant what he’d said. He did think they should get married. Maybe marriage, and fatherhood, hadn’t been in his immediate plans. Maybe he would have liked a little more time to be with Hailey – just the two of them. Maybe it bothered him that she’d so quickly, and easily, rejected his proposal.

  He’d done the right thing to bring her here now, to insist she come. He needed to make sure she, and the baby, were fine.

  He’d do the right thing by marrying her. He couldn’t take a chance at living with another loss.

  Throughout her exam and consultation with the doctor, Hailey thought of Andrew.

  And his proposal.

  Maybe she’d felt a little flare of something that felt dangerously like wild hope at his suggestion. Her heart had certainly jumped in her chest.

  “All in all,” the doctor said as she wrote down her suggestion of an over-the-counter pre-natal vitamin. “You’re in good health so I don’t see any problems. Still.” She tore off a sheet of paper and handed it over. “Make sure you get to your regular doctor as soon as you get back on base. I’ve included my name and contact information so we can forward your records from today’s visit.”

  “Thank you for seeing me without an appointment.”

  The doctor smiled, woman to woman. “From what I’ve been told, your fiancé is very charming and a hard man to turn down.”

  “How do you think I got in this position?” Hailey asked, knowing she was stretching the truth. She’d been the one to make the first move their first night together. She’d been the one who insisted he didn’t need a condom.

  “Besides, he’s a pilot. Every pilot I’ve known and worked with is used to getting his way one way or the other.”

  “He certainly did today. Congratulations, Miss King.” She held out a hand to Hailey. “Thank you again to you and your fiancé for your service. And my best wishes on your marriage and baby.”

  At the door leading back to the reception area, Hailey paused. She wasn’t sure how to act or what to say. She understood him proposing. It was exactly the kind of honorable thing a man like him would do. That kind of integrity was one of the many traits about him that attracted her from the beginning.

  “Did you need something else?”

  Hailey jumped a little at the voice behind her. Over her shoulder she sent the nurse a small smile. “No, thanks.” She opened the door.

  And stepped into an empty reception area. Once she glanced at the time on her wrist watch, she could understand the other women being gone. However, Andrew was nowhere to be seen.

  Her head jerked as if she’d just taken a fist to the chin. God knows she felt as if she’d had all of the air punched out of her. What the hell was she supposed to do now? Blindsided she stood frozen. Had she chased him away with her continued insistence that she could handle everything alone? This hollow emptiness she felt proclaimed her a liar.

  It didn’t make sense that he would desert her, especially when he’d been the one to insist they make this visit. Then there had been his baffling proposal that they get married. But then, other than where work was involved, she hadn’t had many rational thoughts where Andrew Reynolds was concerned.

  He’d dominated her thoughts from that stunning instant of their first meeting when her pulse had leapt, to all the times she’d sat like a st
arry-eyed teenager waiting for him to call or make a move. When he finally had, under the guise of friendly concern, she was the one who’d erupted with all the need and desire she’d subdued for the better part of a year. She hadn’t thought. That night or any of the others, or days, they’d been together.

  This current exaggerated response, stunning in its strength, was exactly why she should have left this morning. She had no business getting tangled up with Andrew any more than was absolutely necessary for the benefit of the child they would have together. She’d grown up learning to be independent. There was no reason why she couldn’t continue being so.

  Then the door opened and, damn her heart for going soft, there he stood. Holding flowers.

  “Hell,” he said with a disappointed frown as he stepped forward. “I’d hoped to be back before you got out.”

  She refused to reach for the flowers he offered. “You left.” The tears that were her constant nemesis of late, flooded her eyes, clogged her throat, gathered in her heart.

  “You’ve got it wrong.”

  “You left.”

  “Hailey, no. I’d never just leave you. I went to get you some flowers to try and cheer you up a little.”

  She tried to step away when he came closer, when his arms wrapped around her and nestled her against him. She wanted to push him back, wanted to tell him that she was leaving, that she would handle whatever the future brought on her own. Her mother had raised her alone and she’d turned out fine. Hailey would do the same with this baby. She’d already taken steps to change her career path so there would be no long absences for mother and child.

  Only it felt so good to be held by him, to feel the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed. To hear his words of denial and explanation.

  To not feel so alone.

  And admitting that frightened her as nothing before ever had.

  Chapter 4

  Hailey did her best to regain control. It helped that Andrew hadn't pressed for any explanation for her behavior. She guessed he passed it off as nothing more than hormones. She thought it best to follow his example and pretend the entire episode never happened. So, while she went into a tiny boutique to buy a bathing suit, she told him there was no reason for him to join her. A short time later, she came outside, after caving in and buying two suits, to discover him sitting across the street, a small bag on the bench beside him, her flowers on his lap.