The Pilot's Promise

by Pam Mantovani

  “That wasn’t so bad was it?” she teased as she sat beside him.

  He looked over, his eyes shaded by his aviator sunglasses, his mouth curved in a grin. “I still say you didn’t need to get one on my account.”

  “I didn’t fall for that line from Joe on a beach in Guam that time the three of us went, I’m not going to fall for it now from you.”

  His grin slowly went flat. Her stomach might have pitched a little, but she knew this time it wasn’t due to the pregnancy.

  “We have to talk about it, about him, Andrew.”

  “Not now. Not here.” He tipped his face to the sun. “For now, let’s enjoy the day.”

  She wasn’t sure it was smart for either of them to continue putting off the talk, but it was hard to argue his point. And she heard the lingering grief in his voice. Maybe it was best to leave the conversation until later this evening, when confessions were better suited.

  So, she looked away to take in her surroundings. She liked what she’d seen of the town. It had a beachy, casual atmosphere without feeling tourist-smothered. She wondered what it would be like to be part of a community where, as she watched, friends greeted one another, often pausing for a long talk.

  “Do you ever think about getting out of the military and settling?” she asked.

  “I have, but only in a vague kind of way. You?”

  He still sat with his face tipped up to the sun. She didn’t doubt she had his entire attention.

  “I’m not sure I’d know how to stay in one place.”

  “That’s not really an answer, Hailey.”

  Again she looked at the people crossing in front of her. Something, some nameless emotion that involved more than simply wondering, rose up her chest. A sense of belonging, she decided, clearing the boulder that’d lodged in her throat. It was as simple, and yet as complicated, as knowing you were part of something. Maybe it was as widespread as a community, maybe it was the many and varied levels of friendship. And maybe, just maybe, it was the longing to be part of a family.

  “Someday, yes,” she finally admitted. “I hope to find a place where I’ll want to settle down.”

  “What’s going to happen when we’re deployed to different bases?”

  She looked at him. “You’ve received your orders.”

  He nodded. “I got a call. I’ve been deployed to South Korea.” He looked at her. “You haven’t received your orders?”

  “No.” It niggled at her conscience a little that she wasn’t being completely honest. On the other hand, all she’d done was make a request. She had no guarantee it would be granted. She’d grown up depending on no one but herself to make decisions. Her job required her to come up with the best plans for everyone involved. She didn’t see any reason to not apply the same basic principles to her personal life.

  Shaking off the mood, she stood and pointed to a shop with a red and white stripped awning. “In the meantime, why don’t I treat us to some ice cream?”

  When she was met with silence, she glanced down. He’d removed the sunglasses and stared at her. No way could she explain this pressure she felt, mostly because she didn’t understand it herself.

  “There’s something I need to tell you. Something I’ve never told anyone, not even Anna. Please sit, Hailey, and let me tell you.” Unsure, yet unable to deny him, she sat back down. He replaced his sunglasses, and she realized some of the color on his cheeks had drained away.

  “My senior year in high school, the summer after graduation to be exact, I broke up with this girl I’d been dating.” He shook his head. “She was a year younger than me, so I was full of myself, knowing I was headed to the Academy to become a pilot. I didn’t see any reason to be tied down to anyone. She didn’t take it well.”

  He grew silent, staring off into space, doing little to ease her apprehension. Hailey covered his hand with hers.

  “A bunch of us were out one afternoon, riding dirt bikes and ATV’s on this dirt track we’d sort of fashioned on the property of a friend’s parents. It was one of the last days of summer, one of the last we knew we’d all be together. Some of the kids were drinking.” He looked at Hailey. “I didn’t drink that day. Because I’d talked Anna into coming along, I was trying to behave.”

  “Protecting her,” Hailey said, her throat dry.

  “I guess.” He shrugged. “Anyway, this girl, the one I’d broken up with, she showed up. She kept trying to get me alone, saying she wanted to talk to me. It irritated me. I was abrupt, just shy of cruel, all but yelling at her to leave me alone. So, she climbed onto the back of an ATV driven by someone I knew had been drinking. I did nothing to stop her. You can probably guess there was an accident,” he added, confirming her suspicions.

  “I’m not proud of the fact that, while we were in the hospital waiting to hear how she was doing, I got to thinking, worrying, about how this might impact my appointment at the Academy. Then, a nurse told me the doctor wanted to talk to me.”

  “You must have been scared.”

  He barked out a rough laugh. “It took everything I had inside of me to not run out of the waiting room.”

  “You would never have done that, Andrew.”

  “I was different then.”

  “We all were different at that age.”

  “Maybe. Anyway, long story short. She'd been pregnant," he announced, his voice flat. “And in the accident she'd lost the baby. Apparently, that was the reason why she'd showed up. Not to chase after me, the way I'd thought, but to tell me about the pregnancy.”

  Contrary to the bright sun shining down on them, Hailey shivered. Around them people passed by, some laughing and enjoying the time, others looking as if they were in a hurry. And she sat here, her heart throbbing as she listened to the anguish of a teenage boy. She couldn’t help but compare Andrew’s reaction when she’d told him of her pregnancy. It must have brought back all those memories, explaining why he’d been so protective of her and his insistence she see a doctor. Why he’d wanted to tell her the story.

  “I’m sorry, Andrew.” She lifted a hand, let it drop back onto her lap. “I don’t know what else to say.”

  “I would have done the right thing. At least I hope I would have.”

  “You would. It’s the kind of man you are.”

  “I promise you, Hailey, I’ll do whatever you need. All you ever have to do is ask.”

  “I’ve never doubted that you would.” Still, she didn’t want to be someone’s obligation or responsibility. She already knew how that felt. She nodded in the direction of the red and white awning. “I’m going to put that to the test now and ask you to buy the ice cream.”

  He stared at her a moment longer before he reached for his small shopping bag and her flowers with one hand, for hers with the other. Linking their fingers, they crossed the street and joined the line of teenagers waiting for ice cream.

  “I don’t recall you being so bland,” Andrew stated after they’d ordered. With a shrug she continued to enjoy her scoop of vanilla. In defense of the heat, she’d gone with a cup while he’d chosen a double-dipped cone that stacked chocolate cookie dough over pistachio. He leaned down so he could whisper in her ear. “You were certainly more adventurous in bed.”

  Her shiver had nothing to do with his cold breath on her skin. Just those few words and the teasing that implied so much more, had her body straining for what it had missed during their brief separation. She couldn’t deny it, wouldn’t deny it. She faced him, ice cream, pregnancy and the world around them forgotten.

  She studied him, took in the tall, lean build with muscles strengthened by work and exercise. She knew he used that strength to handle the rigors of flight, just as he used his developed instincts to avoid danger even as necessity and training demanded he face it head-on. He could also be incredibly gentle, sharing with her a kind of tenderness she’d never before taken the time to savor with another lover.

  At that moment, with the sun warming them, with so much separating them, and yet,
again without thought to the circumstances between them, she wanted to feel the rush and demand that he reminded her she’d so often known in his arms. In what she feared was becoming a habit, she rose on her toes and pressed her mouth to his.

  “Andrew?”

  Hailey blinked at the feminine voice, watched as Andrew’s eyes shifted away from hers and went bright with happiness. “Rachel.”

  “I thought that was you. Anna didn’t tell me you were here in Barefoot Bay.”

  “Just for a few days.”

  “I can’t believe I live two blocks away and didn’t know you were here.”

  After handing Hailey the flowers, he tossed his cone into a nearby trash can and stepped around her. As she watched the father of her child embrace another woman, it surprised her that she felt no jealousy. Maybe it helped that she spied a wedding band on the woman’s hand. It might have been that the woman, while attractive, was definitely older than either she or Andrew. Not that age always mattered.

  Maybe it was her own experience that told her the hug she observed now was no different from any of the friendly ones she’d once exchanged with Joe. So very different from the hugs she’d, finally, exchanged with Andrew.

  “You look wonderful,” he said, holding the woman at arm’s length.

  “You always know just what to say.”

  “Well, in this case it’s the truth. Anyone looking at you would never guess you’d had a baby two months ago.” He looked around. “Where is Madison?”

  “Spending the morning with her daddy while I run some errands.”

  “I’m sorry I missed seeing her.”

  “You mean you’re sorry you’ll miss teasing Anna about spending time with her.”

  “That would’ve just been a bonus.”

  “You know you’re welcome to stop by at any time.”

  “We’ll see. You know how it is, even when you try hard, you can’t always find time for everything you want.” Andrew’s gaze focused on Hailey. She didn’t jerk, she didn’t take a step in retreat. But even as her heart slowed to a dull thud, anger rose.

  How dare he look at her this way? As if taunting her, reminding her of all the upcoming times he would be separated from his child. As if blaming her for the belief that having a baby together wasn’t a good enough reason to marry.

  Didn’t he understand that she knew only too well how it felt to grow up without a father? She knew what it was like to always question what was so wrong with her that her father hadn’t wanted her. Even after he learned of her, he’d had little to do with her. At least their child would never know that kind of doubt or neglect. From either of them.

  “I’m sorry.” Hailey turned to the woman who spoke while she extended a hand. Hailey moved the flowers from one hand to the other, a move that didn’t escape the other woman’s notice. “I’m Rachel Lewis.”

  “Rachel works with Anna,” Andrew said. “This is Hailey. She.” He stopped, as if unsure how to explain their relationship. She could hardly blame him.

  “Andrew and I,” Hailey said, “were stationed together in Guam.”

  “I see. And now you’re here together?”

  “No. That is, yes, Hailey is visiting. For a few days.”

  “So you’ll still be here day the day after tomorrow?” Rachel asked, her gaze returning to Andrew.

  “Yes. What are you up to, Rachel?”

  “The Bucks have set up a charity raffle before and during their game that night. Whatever is raised will go to Quinn's foundation and, in addition to making a donation himself, he's earmarked the funds for the hospital teaching program.” She glanced at Hailey.

  “The Bucks?”

  “It’s the local minor league baseball team,” Andrew answered. “Anna met Quinn while he was with the team rehabbing from surgery.”

  “I see. And the hospital?”

  “It's where I teach the children that are confined to long-term care,” Rachel answered before she reached for Andrew's hand. “Quinn arranged for a retired major league player he knows to throw out the first pitch. Only the guy broke his hip and I've been looking for a replacement.”

  “And you want me?”

  “I think someone serving in the military.” She paused and again glanced at Hailey. “Or two of our dedicated, valuable service personnel, would be outstanding, not to mention a publicity bonus.”

  “Keep it up and you’ll be giving your husband a run for his political seat.”

  “One is the family’s quite enough.” Rachel gripped her hands together, not exactly as if in prayer but close. “What do you say?”

  “Thank you for including me,” Hailey said. “But you just need Andrew. Not only is he a decorated fighter pilot, but he has local connections.”

  “She’s being modest. Her role as an Air Battle Manager is vital and an integral part of any mission.”

  Hailey felt the heat rising on her cheeks, something it appeared Rachel noticed and speculated about. “You'd be a wonderful role model for all the girls in the stands,” she said.

  Hailey resisted covering her stomach, her baby, with a palm. While she liked the idea, being single and pregnant wasn't the kind of role model Rachel meant. On the other hand, she'd be long gone by the time Rachel heard the news.

  Andrew looked at Hailey. “I think you should be a part of it, but it’s your decision.”

  She knew why he left it up to her. It would mean committing to staying longer than she’d planned. It would mean taking a risk at becoming more entangled with him. It would be smarter to leave, to put the inevitable distance between them.

  Yet, she wanted to spend more time with him. She needed to find a workable solution for how to balance the logistics of sharing their child. Nothing more.

  Sure she’d always enjoyed him, even before they became lovers. She admired and respected his dedication and commitment to the military. His staunch love of his family and support of his friends. Standing here now was a perfect example. Someone had asked a favor of him and he never hesitated.

  If agreeing to that favor, if accepting a request to stand for her country, meant it gave her a legitimate excuse to stay longer than she’d planned, well, she’d take it. “I’d be happy to help out.”

  “That’s wonderful. Oh, I’m so lucky I ran into you.” Rachel considered them both. “You don’t happen to have your uniforms with you, do you?”

  “We’re military,” Andrew answered. “We’re even better than the boy scouts at being prepared.” He glanced at Hailey, who nodded.

  “Wonderful. Thank you both so much. I’ve got to run.” Rachel kissed Andrew’s cheek. “Be sure and tell Anna hello. I’ll call you with the details about time.”

  “Thanks for helping out,” Andrew said as Rachel hurried away.

  “This is the kind of teaching your sister does? For children who are confined to a hospital?”

  “Yes.” They began walking toward his car. “Rachel’s the one who introduced her to the concept. It’s a way for Anna to continue teaching wherever she and Quinn are. When he can, he goes with her and, as Rachel said, his foundation contributes financially.” He hesitated. “It means a lot that you’re willing to stay and help out.”

  “We serve our country in any way that’s asked of us, right? Besides, baseball and a hot dog on a warm night sounds perfect to me.”

  He smiled, the first really relaxed smile he’d given her in far too long. “Only one hot dog?”

  “To start,” she admitted with a laugh. Encouraged by the resumption of their former ease, she linked their hands. “In the meantime, why don’t we stop by the grocery store and I’ll pick up something to cook for dinner tonight?”

  Relaxing on a lounge chair on the tanning ledge of the pool, Andrew nursed a beer. It felt as if he'd done more shopping today than he'd done in the last six months. However, he found it hard to be resentful. He liked spending time with Hailey. And it had been a revelation to watch her in the grocery store. She’d examined produce the way some women would
study a dress or jewelry.

  Now he watched her swim laps in a steady pace. It eased his mind to know she’d gotten a clean bill of health. Even if he’d had to trick her into seeing a doctor. He wondered how she’d feel if she had the slightest suspicion of how he’d felt introducing her as his fiancé?

  Not that he knew for sure himself.

  When had he crossed the line between wanting to be more than her friend? From that first meeting. He’d known it then, he knew it now. And once they’d become lovers? What had he wanted? At the time he’d thought, believed, that he wanted nothing more than the sharing and caring they’d given one another. It hadn’t taken long for him to realize he wanted more than a willing bed partner.

  And now?

  He wanted her trust. Had always wanted it, but in the early stages of their intimacy, that goal had been buried under other more pressing needs. God, that need, the ache, for her had been so strong. It still surprised him that he'd managed to hold back for so long.

  He didn’t want to hold back any longer.

  Yet what choice had she given him?

  “That felt wonderful.”

  Andrew watched, his mouth going dry, as Hailey walked up the slight incline. Yes, he’d seen her earlier when she first appeared in the simple one-piece bathing suit. He’d even seen her naked. But there was something about seeing her wet, showcasing the faintest of bumps in her belly, that had him contemplating the many and varied ways he wanted to explore the changes in her body.

  With a sigh, she settled on the chaise lounge next to him. “This shallow sloping end is a wonderful idea. You can sit out here in the heat and remain comfortable with the water lapping over your legs.”

  “It was Quinn’s idea.” Hailey shifted to look at him. “They added the pool after they bought the house and he thought this shallow end would be good when they started having children.” He frowned beyond the screen-in enclosure to the flagstone patio with outdoor kitchen and fire pit. “I still can’t use to the idea of Anna being married let alone the thought of her being a mother.”