Hiding Katherine

by GG Shalton

  Alexander pulled the chair out for Katherine. She accepted it and waited for the first course as the men spoke about mundane topics. The food was delicious. Sir Samuel obviously had a devoted staff whose constant attention to their comfort was evident. Katherine chose two different desserts and she savored the sweetness in her mouth. After dinner, Alexander gave his regrets and declined any entertainment or drinking with the men. He claimed exhaustion and walked Katherine back to her chamber.

  Unsure of his intentions, she paused outside of her chamber door. Her fears rested on this one moment. Would he join her or wait? Could she let another man touch her?

  She felt him place his hand on her lower back and brush his body against hers. He leaned down and whispered near her ear, “Ready yourself, love. I will give you a few minutes and return shortly.”

  That was her answer. He would meet her in a few minutes. She nodded her head and opened the chamber door. After closing the door, she locked it and stepped back. Tears filled her eyes and her shoulders started to shake as a sob escaped. Suddenly, she regretted her marriage. Her skin felt dirty at the thought of him touching her. She belonged to Ian. Revulsion went through her as she tried to push aside the feelings, knowing her marriage made it impossible for her to deny him. Taking in a few deep breaths, she accepted her fate hoping the earl would prove to be a good husband.

  Her dress was buttoned tightly, and she pulled it loose hoping not to rip it. She didn’t want assistance from any of the maids and preferred to be alone. Standing in her shift, she dug through her trunk looking for a night rail and robe. Memories of her first night with Ian on the ship invaded her thoughts. Many people feared Ian, but she never did. He was a good person even if his reputation spoke differently. The more she learned of Alexander, she feared he may not be a good person. Threatening to make someone’s wife a whore was frightening. Was he without honor or mercy?

  A few minutes later the knock came. Opening her eyes, she stood up from the chair and smoothed her night rail. Walking over to the door, she unbolted it. Alexander stood in the doorway smiling down at her.

  “I like your hair down. I can’t wait to run my fingers through it.” He closed the door behind him. “Come love, let’s have a drink.”

  He took her hand and walked her to the table. Pouring two glasses of wine, he handed her one as his eyes locked with hers without saying a word.

  Not knowing how to respond, Katherine broke her stare and took a big drink of the wine. A slight burn went down her throat from the alcohol. Alexander reached for her glass and put it back on the table.

  Fidgeting with her hands, Katherine could not make eye contact. Alexander reached out and took her hand to stop her nervousness. “Let’s go lay on the bed and talk.”

  Katherine took a shaky breath and followed him. Alexander lay across the covers and used a pillow to prop his head up. “Come lay beside me.”

  Katherine obeyed and stretched out across from him, so they could talk. He took his index finger and rubbed small circles on top of her hand. “Did you enjoy dinner?”

  Taking a hard swallow, she watched his eyes explore her body. A shadow of fear caused her stomach to turn. Pushing her anxiety away, she tried to find her voice to answer his question. “The food was well prepared. But your friend seemed a little preoccupied with his thoughts. Almost like something was heavy on his mind.” She purposely watched for his reaction waiting to see if there was an explanation regarding his earlier behavior. Any reassuring comment could ease the tension she felt throughout her body.

  A question in his eyes was quickly replaced with assurance. “I did not notice. He is not the best conversationalist. We will leave in the morning and I doubt we will visit again any time soon. Don’t worry, love. I have many entertaining friends whose company you will enjoy including the king.”

  She gave him a forced smile as she felt his fingers move from her hand to her hair. He leaned over and kissed her forehead. “You are so very beautiful and all mine.”

  Scooting his body next to hers, he kissed her nose and then brushed his lips against her mouth. Her lips parted as he slid his tongue in playfully deepening his kiss. His fingers gently ran across her jawline as he pulled away and began kissing her neck. Katherine lay motionless trying to push away the guilt. The last man to touch her this way was Ian. Trying to loosen her tension, she felt Alexander run his hands down her arms and embrace her hands moving them around his neck. She complied and held them there as he opened her robe and kissed her chest. She felt his hands move up her thighs, moving her night rail up and over her head. Instinct and embarrassment made her hands move to cover herself, but his hands were too quick. He gently pushed them out of the way, so he could see her by the candlelight. “You are more beautiful than I ever imagined.”

  She knew then that her duty had come. Katherine submitted to her husband and allowed him to make love to her. He was a gentle lover and tried to please her. But it was not the same as it was with Ian. With Ian, they had so much passion that she wanted to stay with him always. With Alexander, she was relieved when it was over and lay still in his arms. Alexander pulled her close to him. “That was everything I imagined. You have made me very happy, my love.”

  Katherine was not sure what to say. She pondered her thoughts and soon heard his breathing steady as he fell into a deep sleep beside her. Relieved, she allowed her nerves to subside and fell asleep too.

  Katherine woke the next morning alone. She washed her face and dressed in a brown wool dress. The weather was getting colder and she wanted to be comfortable. The servants carried her trunks back down the stairs as she followed behind them. Alexander eyed her near the front door of the keep and walked over to kiss her on the cheek. “Do you want to eat breakfast? Or are you ready to depart?”

  Katherine adjusted her cloak and gloves. “I am not hungry and wish to depart.” Alexander took her arm and bid good day to Samuel. His wife and her staff curtsied as Katherine and Alexander walked past them. Alexander helped Katherine into the carriage and joined her as they rode off.

  “We have another few days before we reach my northern estate. It’s a small family castle that was owned by my mother. We mostly use it for hunting and it’s very secure—well away from the rebels and border scuffles. You will be safe there until our child is born.”

  The corner of her mouth came up. She was pleased that he referred to the baby as his child. Perhaps she was mistaken about the incident on the stairs. Taking her guard down for a moment, she pressed her lips together thinking of a way to thank him. “My lord, I marvel at your generosity and I am in your debt. Your decision to help me despite my circumstances will never be forgotten.”

  He bent over and kissed her on the forehead. “You are mine now, Katherine. That means the child that grows inside you is mine. From this point forward, we will never mention anything but that truth as we know it to be now. We must say it and think it. Never have a doubt in your mind or voice. Do you understand?”

  Katherine nodded, yet a small piece of her held on to the thought that she would tell her child the truth one day.

  “Say it, Katherine!” She jumped slightly, surprised by the edge in his voice. Not wanting to upset him, she whispered, “I am yours.”

  He shook his head frustrated. “No, I want you to say… my child is Alexander’s. He is my husband, and this is his child.”

  She was apprehensive watching his face turn red. “The child is yours, Alexander.”

  “Say it again!” he spoke through his teeth visibly shaken.

  Her eyes burned as she tried to hold back her tears. “The child is yours.”

  He reached over and took both of her hands lifting them to his mouth. “And so are you.” She stared at him searching his face, not understanding his change of moods. He frightened her, and she knew not to let down her guard again.

  He droppe
d her hands and reached for a bag with some bread and cheeses in it. He ate some of the food not looking back at Katherine, who kept her hands in her lap afraid to make any more comments. This side of her husband was disturbing, and she feared for her future.

  Chapter 24

  The next couple of days of traveling took a toll on Katherine. Scrunched up in the carriage may have been worse than having chaffed legs from a horse. Both were intolerable, but she was happy to finally arrive safely at Alexander’s estate. The staff was minimal and only one man and two women—the maid and the cook—met them outside. The man took care of the stables, and there were a few guards who manned the gate, but for the most part, it was empty. Many chambers were unused and only a small corner of the castle was livable.

  Most of Alexander’s men waited outside as he spent the afternoon with her inside the small castle. “My dear, I must leave tomorrow morning on a journey. The king awaits my visit, and I can’t take you with me. Given your condition with our child, I will leave you here to rest and get settled. I will return within a few months and stay with you until the birth. Once the child is born, we will leave again and announce the birth a few months later. Is this clear?”

  Katherine nodded her understanding. “What of the servants? They will know.”

  He placed his index finger over her lips. “When will you learn to trust me? I will tell them that we had a liaison before our marriage and I am counting on their discretion due to our marriage happening after the child was conceived. They have no prior knowledge of your associations. No one will ever question who sired the child.” He removed his finger and bent down kissing her on the mouth. Another quick peck and he turned away to walk to his study.

  Katherine stood where he left her thinking about his words. It was true that many babies were conceived before marriage. It wasn’t really questioned if the couple was married before their birth. Somehow it made her feel uneasy—as if Ian never existed. It saddened her that his legacy would belong to someone else.

  The weeks flew by and Katherine’s pregnancy began to show. The two women servants assigned to her never mentioned her condition, only offering her assistance with her meals and baths. She dressed in plain day dresses never making an effort with her appearance due to not having visitors. She did take long naps and short trips into the garden as long as the guards could not see her. Alexander was very strict about that. The men kept away from the castle and lived in the gatehouse. Katherine spent her days weaving or reading poems. Her time at her father’s home prepared her for such a lonely existence. She created entertainment in her head making games out of her boredom. Katherine sent a missive to her sister announcing the exciting news of her pregnancy. Her sister wrote back her congratulations and asked to visit. Katherine was relieved it was winter and travel would be near impossible. The last thing she needed was her sister realizing how far along she was and questioning the father.

  As the weeks dragged by, Katherine received a missive from Alexander delaying his visit to see her. No real explanation just sending her well wishes. It had been so long since she saw him, she sometimes forgot she was married. Although, she couldn’t complain. After all, she was provided for and her child would have his name.

  Weeks turned into months and Alexander never came. Katherine could barely move with her swollen feet. She voiced her concerns with the servants claiming it must be twins. The older woman servant Maribel had delivered many babies and told Katherine she doubted it was twins, and that swelling was normal this close to birth. A few days later, Katherine went into labor. Alone without any relatives to help or sit with her, she clung on to the women servants as they helped her push out the child. The pain was unbearable, and Katherine believed she would die before the child was born. Only her love for Ian made her push and scream through the pain. This life coming out of her represented his existence and she would do everything she could to make sure the baby was healthy. After hours of pain, the burning sensation ended, and her body shook from exhaustion. She heard her baby scream as the women cut the cord. “My lady, you have a son. The future Earl of Barragan.”

  Tears of joy fell from her eyes as she held out her arms to hold him. The servant brought in clean linens and a bucket of warm water. “One moment, my lady, let me clean him up and wash you first.” She watched the servants work and was relieved to hold the baby, crying and looking red. His head had some black hairs on top of it and was a bit misshaped. Maribel assured her it was normal for a baby’s head to look like that when they come out of the mother. He would regain a normal shape very soon.

  Katherine could not help but cry. “He is so beautiful.” She counted ten fingers and ten toes, relieved that he had stopped crying and seemed to be content. Maribel said he was big for a newborn baby and attributed his size to the earl. Katherine cracked a secret smile thinking to herself if the servant only knew the size of his real father.

  “What are you to name him, my lady?” Maribel asked as she scrubbed the blood on the floor.

  Katherine had not discussed it with Alexander. He would never allow her to name him Ian. She thought hard for a moment and the name came suddenly. “His name will be Daniel.” She remembered when Ian told her he would name his firstborn son that name. She felt a great triumph to give him a part of his real father.

  Katherine wanted to shout to the world that her baby was born. He was beautiful, and his dark hair reminded her of Ian. The earl was fairer, but luckily her father was dark. Otherwise, how could she explain his complexion? The servants were under strict orders to keep the birth a secret. Not even the guards were told of the birth and Katherine was forced to stay indoors until two months had passed. That had been Alexander’s orders. No one could know of the birth until that time, and then they would announce to the rest of the household that the baby was born. Others outside of the household would be told it was an early birth, and they would not introduce him to society until he reached one year. Katherine was unsure how to keep her sister away, but she would have to tell her she was traveling and unable to visit. Alexander seemed to have it all worked out. Katherine thought his art of manipulation was polished, a trait she would have to remember.

  A few weeks after the birth, she asked Maribel where the earl was residing. No missives came but the one a few months ago delaying his return. The older servant claimed she was not aware of the earl’s whereabouts. But Katherine was convinced she was not completely truthful. Her demeanor changed anytime she mentioned his name. Katherine was unsure how to feel about his abandonment, he seemed genuinely smitten with her in the beginning, and she found it difficult to imagine he would purposely avoid her. Pushing her doubts aside, she spent her days bonding with Daniel. She couldn’t believe how much she could love him already.

  Chapter 25

  Exactly two months after the birth of Daniel, the earl arrived with a small army. Katherine could see them from her window and nervously dressed more appropriately for his arrival. Her nicer gowns were a little tighter on her than she remembered because her figure had changed after giving birth—her curves more accentuated by the dresses she wore. She made a mental note to stay away from the desserts.

  Maribel interrupted her as she was plaiting her hair. “My lady, your husband has crested the hill and will be here shortly. I received a missive from a rider, it said we are to tell him that the baby was born yesterday upon his arrival.”

  Katherine nodded and finished dressing. She remained sitting on her bed as she heard people filling up the hall below her chamber. Not wanting to leave Daniel, she waited for her husband to join her. Anxiety filled her chest as she tried to anticipate his reaction to the baby. She prayed he would accept him as he once agreed to. His absence played on her mind, and she wanted to know her place in his world.

  Hearing the door open, she looked up into Alexander’s face as his shoulders filled the doorway. His hair was windblown, and his cheeks were reddened from the col
d. He was bundled up in numerous furs. A smile crossed his face seeing her. “My love. You are a sight for sore eyes.”

  Katherine looked over at Daniel lying next to her on the bed. The earl followed her eyes. He took a few steps to the bed and reached out to lift Daniel up to hold him. Katherine stood up beside him as he leaned down and kissed her on the cheek.

  Katherine cooed at Daniel. “You have a son, my lord.”

  Alexander kissed him on the forehead. “He is a fine son, indeed.” He took hold of his little hand and brought it up to his mouth giving it a kiss. “What is his name?”

  “Daniel, my lord. Like in the Bible… Daniel fought the lions and was a good man.”

  “I like it. Daniel is a strong name and he will be a strong earl.”

  Katherine closed her eyes in relief. He had accepted her son as his own. She kissed him on the cheek. “I am glad you are pleased. I must admit with your long absence, I grew a little worried.”

  He looked at her questioningly. “What do you mean? Why would you be worried?”

  “About accepting Daniel.”

  The smile faded from his face. He walked abruptly over to the bed and placed Daniel on top of the covers. He tilted his head studying her with a look of abhorrence. After a moment of uncomfortable silence, he walked over to the window and removed his furs laying them on top of the chair. He started taking off his gloves and made an audible breath of frustration. “I am a patient man, Katherine. But you have tested me.”

  Katherine’s palms moistened as her nerves twisted in her stomach. She reached over to the table to hold herself still as his odd behavior was frightening her. “Forgive me, my lord. I am not sure I understand.”