Fighting Temptation

by S. M. Donaldson

  He smiles and pulls me up for a hug. “Sweetie, trust me. My retirement is coming soon. I’m getting my things in order right now. I know it won’t make up for the past six months. I know that it won’t make up for everything you lost as a teenager. But you’re right. I’m too old to be getting in fights and dodging bullets.”

  I lean back and smile. “So let’s have this pizza and beer as a celebratory dinner then. How soon before I can leave?”

  “I was planning on sleeping here tonight. Since it’s so late, and then we can get up in the morning and head out.”

  I take a sip of my beer. “Sounds like a plan.” “Your mother is definitely going to be happy to see you. She’s been so worried the entire time you’ve been up here.”

  I sigh. “I know. She texts me all the time. I do have to admit I am sort of missing interacting with the rest of the human population.”

  He chuckles. “Well, I guess I can relate to that.”

  A thought pops into my head. “I’ll be in town when Gabby has the baby!”

  He nods. “Yes, I suppose you will.”

  I’m giddy all of a sudden. “I’ve missed her entire pregnancy. I have to make it up to her.” My dad smiles. “Honey, I think she’ll just be happy to see you. I mean, you guys have lived together for two years now.”

  Just then it dawns on me. I don’t have a place to stay when I get back into town. For the first time in my life, I’m kind of homeless. I mean, don’t get me wrong; I know I’m always welcome back at my mom’s or even my dad’s. The thing is, I’ve gotten used to not having them around all the time. If I move back, it will be like taking a huge step backward.

  My dad notices my fallen face. “Daria, what’s wrong? You were so happy a few minutes ago.” “I was just thinking about where I’m going to live when I get back to town. I have to be in town, because I plan on going back to school in the fall. It’s not like I really have the option for roommates anymore. I’m pretty sure after last December I’m wearing the equivalent to a scarlet letter on my chest.”

  My dad sighs. “I’ve thought about that. You wouldn’t even be in any of this mess if hadn’t been for me. You’ve never allowed me to support you, not since you went to college, with the exception of the little bit of tuition and books you owe. You’ve always used the money that was given to your mother for child support. So I bought you an apartment. It’s close to the college and it’s in a safe neighborhood. There are three bedrooms, so if you decide to get roommates, you’ll have space.”

  I shake my head. “Dad!” He puts his hands up to stop me. “It’s yours; it’s in your name. You wouldn’t be without roommates, a semester behind, and full of traumatic memories if it weren’t for me. So, it is yours, free and clear.”

  I stand there in shock. Finally, I just nod my head. “Thanks, Dad. I love you.”

  He pulls me into a big hug. “I love you, too, honey. I’m just so sorry. Have you talked to your friends lately?” I shake my head. “I text some with Anna, but none of them know anything about where I’m at or what I’ve been doing. I know she wants me to come to Gabby’s baby shower in a couple of weeks. So now I’ll get to, I guess.”

  My dad just nods. I look at him. “Well, I’m going to grab a shower and go to bed. I wanna be ready to leave here in the morning.”

  I go to the bedroom and pull out my phone to text Anna.

  Hey chick good news! I’ll be back in town soon. Hopefully I’ll see you at the baby shower.

  I wait for a response and get one almost immediately.

  OMG!!!!!! I’M SO HAPPY!!!! Where are you going to stay?

  I’m actually not sure. I apparently own an apartment now.

  Awesome! Let me know when you get in town. I’m not ready to say I’ll be back tomorrow. I’ll use the baby shower as the day I see everyone for the first time. I need some time to adjust.

  Chapter 4

  Present

  Cade

  I came back home for the summer. I needed some time to clear my head. In actuality, though, all I’ve done is think of Daria.

  When I first got here, I thought, I’ll get some strange. I’ll work her out of my system. All I managed to figure out is that I can’t stand most of the girls in my hometown, and none of them hold a candle to her. On a positive note, I’ve been at the gym every day. Coach will be very proud of the muscle I put on over the summer.

  I jog down the stairs at my mom’s house. “Mom, I’m going to the gym for a little while.”

  “Honey, don’t forget Gabby’s baby shower is next weekend.”

  I roll my eyes. “Aren’t baby showers just for chicks?”

  She chuckles. “No, this is a coed shower. Plus can you see Gabby surrounded by a bunch of women?” “I guess you’re right. I’m planning on leaving a day or two early. I need to get my things moved into the house that Anna and Russ are renting. Gabby’s had my crap in her garage for the summer. I know they’re trying to get the baby’s room in order and stuff. She called me raising hell about my stuff the other day and then was crying by the end of the phone call, telling me that she loved me.” I shake my head.

  “It’s just hormones. She’s got a lot going on in her body right now.” “I know. I also know all about Gabby with hormone issues. Remember before she went to the doctor in high school? I was assaulted with a phone for crying out loud. So, yes, I understand the hormones.”

  My mom laughs. “Have fun at the gym. What time are you going to be back?” I shrug. “I figured since I’m leaving this week, I’d meet up with some of the guys and play some pool after the gym. So it may be kinda late.”

  “Okay, I won’t wait up then.” I walk out the front door. I wonder what she’s up to; she’s been acting strange all summer. Keeping tabs on me like I’m in middle school or something. Maybe she’s afraid I’m trying to find Daria or something.

  ~*~*~ After working out for a couple of hours at the gym, the guys and I decide to hit up the local pool hall. I walk in and smile embarrassingly at Shana, the bartender. She’s one of the girls I tried to bang when I got back into town. Only when it came down to go time, I just didn’t have the desire anymore. I made up some excuse and jumped back into my car, getting the hell out of that church parking lot.

  I’m beginning to worry that I have erectile dysfunction or something. Maybe it’s the artificial sweetener my mom uses now. I watch those damn TV commercials with Bob and he’s so fucking happy; it makes me want to try the shit.

  A couple of hours, a few dozen beers, and four games of pool later, I hear a familiar voice. A voice that I can’t stand. I turn around to see Jack, the asshole Anna dated for a few years. He was always a dick to her, but when she’d had enough, he decided to beat the ever living shit out of her.

  He turns around and sees me. “Well, hey, Cade. What’s up?” he says, all fucking cocky.

  I look at him and scoff, “What’s up? I should fucking kill you!”

  He looks at me, confused. “What do you mean, man?” My friends try to calm me down, but I break loose. “For Anna. For all the years you treated her like shit. For beating the shit out of her. For harassing her when she was home for Christmas. Oh, and I just really don’t fucking like you.”

  “Don’t tell me you believe that shit, too? She told everyone that damn lie. She’s just like her mom, a lying cunt.”

  Before I realize what I’m doing, I have him by the throat against the wall. I punch him repeatedly. “You son of a bitch. She wasn’t lying. I saw the fucking bruises, and if you ever say she’s like her mother again, I will kill you.”

  My friends grab at me, trying to pull me loose. Shana comes over and yells, “CADE!” I spin around. “Look, just go, or I have to call the cops.”

  I nod and walk out of the pool hall. Making my way home, I realize it’s only eight o’clock. Good. Mom and I can spend some time together before I head back to school. She works a lot and I haven’t gotten to spend much time with her this summer.

  I walk into the house and make
my way to the kitchen to grab some water. As I round the corner to the kitchen, I get an eyeful. “Oh shit!”

  I turn to get back out of the kitchen and trip over the table leg. I smack my face on a chair on the way down. My mom screams and comes running over to me. “Honey, are you okay?” she asks, all calm and natural about what I walked in on.

  “Mom. Shit, get some clothes on. I’ll talk to you in the living room.”

  I sit in the living room, shaking my head and trying to un-see what I just saw. A few minutes later, my mom and Richard make their way into the living room, fully clothed. Thank God! They sit down on the sofa across from me, looking like two high school kids who just got caught by their parents.

  I look at my mom. “How long has this been going on?”

  “A few months.” “And you didn’t think you should tell me? I don’t know. Maybe before I walked in on you and my best friend’s dad banging on the kitchen floor?”

  My mom laughs; she actually laughs. “Honey, I’m sorry, but we didn’t think you’d be home until later.” “Holy shit, Mom. That’s not even the point I’m trying to make here.” Richard clears his throat. “Cade, after everything that happened during and after Christmas last year, your mother and I just starting talking to each other. Then, after Gabby’s wedding, we started dating.”

  Something dawns on me. “Do Gabby and Anna know that you guys are seeing each other?” My mom rolls her eyes. “You’ve been here all summer almost and didn’t know we were seeing each other. What do you think?”

  “Why didn’t you guys just come out and tell us? I think we would all be okay with it. I’m just not okay with walking in on what I did.”

  Richard speaks up. “For several reasons. Your mom and I wanted to make sure it was going to work for us, before we dragged you kids into the mix. You may all be adults now, but you’re adults who’ve had your plates full of surprises and bullshit over the past year. Before we brought any more drama to the table, we thought it best if we knew how we felt first.”

  “And? How do you feel?” My mom smiles. “We’re happy. We enjoy each other’s company. I’ve always loved Gabby and Anna like my own kids. Richard’s always felt that way about you.”

  Richard ta kes my mom’s hand. “We love each other, Cade. We don’t plan on getting married tomorrow or anything, but we’re in a serious committed relationship with each other.”

  I nod. “When any of us are in town, try to keep the nakedness in the bedroom of one of the houses. Okay?” They laugh and my mom smiles looking at me. “Cade, I’m happy. I’m the happiest I’ve been in years. We were planning on telling the girls at the baby shower, but I think we’ll go ahead and call them tonight.”

  Suddenly we hear a knock at the door. My mom jumps up to answer it.

  “Ma’am, I’m from the Jackson County Sheriff’s Department and I need to speak with Cade Johnson.” I step over to the door. “Yes, sir. That’s me.” “Son, I’m going to have to ask you to come with me. We had a report of an assault on a young man at the local pool hall tonight.”

  I shake my head. “Shit.”

  My mom and Richard look at me. Richard steps forward. “What’s going on?”

  I sigh. “Jack ran his mouth about Anna at the pool hall and his face ran into my fist a couple of times.” Richard looks at the deputy. “Can you conduct this interview here or is there another reason for him to go to the station? He goes to college up in Alabama and plays football. Any association with the law could cause him to lose his scholarship.”

  My mom sighs. “Yes, please?”

  The deputy looks at me. “I guess I can take his statement here and get in touch with him if we need to.” So we all sit down and I explain to the deputy what happened and why I was pissed at Jack in the first place. It helps that Richard had talked to them about what happened to Anna last year. Apparently, another girl’s parents also came to them about Jack and his anger issues. The deputy says he will go to talk to Jack, who wants to press charges against me. The deputy figures that once Jack realizes that he’s on their radar, he’ll drop the charges. With a sigh of relief, I shut the door behind him.

  I look back in the living room at Richard comforting my mom on the couch. “You guys, this has been a really long, crazy day. I’m taking my ass to bed. I’m not going to say anything to the girls; you can let them know when you’re ready. But please, don’t let them find out the way I did.” I hear chuckling as I go upstairs.

  Chapter 5

  Daria

  It’s so great to leave the cabin f inally. However, driving down the streets leading to my new apartment, I grow nervous. My dad told me that the apartment was furnished and that he’d gotten my other things out of storage. My therapist has been seeing me via Skype at the cabin on a regular basis and she thinks this will be great for me. She did suggest that I get some sort of part-time job. She’s afraid that, if I stay in the apartment alone all the time, I’ll relapse. My dad told me that I didn’t have to have a job, but I feel like the therapist is right. Plus, if I’m going back to school, I need to start getting used to being around large groups of people again. Maybe tomorrow I’ll go around town and put in my application at a few places.

  Pulling into the apartment complex, I notice all of the security cameras and a couple of guards. It looks secure; I can tell my dad picked this place. I make my way over to apartment 4A and unlock the door to my new life. I walk in and can instantly tell my mom had a hand in the decorating.

  In the bedroom, I find all of my things that had been in storage. They’ve had my bed and the rest of my furniture set up. I just need to unpack my clothes and personal crap. Looking at the boxes with Anna and Gabby’s handwriting on them nearly breaks my heart. They had to pack up all of my things. They came home from an already shitty Christmas to a bloodbath. One catatonic crazy girl and the guy who’s basically their brother shot in the arm. It probably ruined any chance he had at a football career.

  It’s a wonder they don’t hate me. Most of the time I hate myself. It seems like I cause hurt and aggravation to anyone I come in contact with.

  I take a step back and breathe. I need to take my medicine and stay out of this room for the night. I can’t go through these boxes tonight.

  Gabby’s baby shower is next weekend. I haven’t told anyone else that I’m back in town. Anna knows I’m moving back, but she doesn’t know when. I would tell her that I’m back, but I feel like I need a few days to readjust. I miss them all so much. Growing up, I always wondered what it would be like to have siblings. Having all those crazy people in my life made me feel like I had a big family.

  I especially miss Cade. I have to stop this; I have to stop thinking about Cade. He needs to move on, to find someone worthy of him. Someone who is good to him and can give him every part of herself. In my time at the cabin, I made myself a promise. I can no longer try for relationships. I’ll just have some meaningless one night stands to serve the purpose. I can’t hurt anyone else like I hurt Cade, or myself for that matter. My therapist says that she worries about me thinking this way; she hopes that, in time, I’ll realize that it’s okay for me to fall in love. I know it’s not, though. I mean, Cade fell in love with me and could’ve died because of it.

  ~*~*~ Dad dropped off the papers for the apartment the morning after I moved in and that very day I found a job at a local sports bar. I’ve been working there now for a week and I’ve made friends with the other two bartenders. Lanie is a spunky, punk rocker, feisty chick with pink hair. She’s a trip. I’m pretty sure she’s a lesbian, but it’s not really my business. Mack is a pretty cool guy. He’s kind of a loner and, from what I gather, he never stays in one place too long. He’s moved all over the country. I wish I had the guts to live like that. Hell, I was alone in the Smoky Mountains for six months and I was so homesick I cried myself to sleep every night.

  Looking in my closet for something to wear to work is depressing. I can’t find anything to wear that actually fits. I’ve been a size seven sinc
e I quit snorting coke. I tried on a pair of pants the other day and they were a size 1. Most women would love that, but I don’t. I’ve always felt comfortable in my curves. I always thought my ass and tits were amazing. Now, my pants fall off and my boobs barely fill up my bra. I need to put some weight back on, but I don’t have an appetite and, when I do eat, I throw up.

  I don’t really want to wear another sun dress to work, but I guess I have to. I refuse to look like some alternative skater chick. I already wore that look for a little while in high school. I slip on a yellow sundress with some cute wedges and a little denim vest. I try to dress as fashionable as I can in clothes three sizes too big.

  Making my way into work for the evening, I can tell it’s going to be a busy night. There’s a UFC fight on tonight, so we’ll have a packed house.

  “Hey, guys. Sorry I’m a few minutes late; there was a wreck at 2nd Ave and Grant Street.”

  Lanie looks up from the glasses she’s polishing, “its okay, sweetie. We were just setting up.”

  Mack laughs. “You’re such a slacker. Only here a few days and already showing up late.”

  “Thanks for the support, Mack.”

  “Anytime, sugar lips. Anytime.” A few hours later, this place is packed to occupancy. I don’t even really make eye contact with the people placing orders at the bar tonight. All of a sudden, I hear a familiar voice.

  “I’ll have two Bud Lights.” I look up. Our eyes meet at the same time and suddenly I can’t breathe. I grab the two beers and open them, setting them on the counter. “Cade, how are you doing?”

  He clears his throat. “I’m okay. I didn’t know you were back in town.”

  “Yeah, just been back a few days.” He nods like he’s trying to play it cool. “Good, I hope you’ve been doing well. Where are you staying?”