All I Want for Christmas Is a Cowboy

by Jennifer Ryan

  “Let’s go.”

  Chapter Three

  SUMMER SAT BETWEEN Jack and Caleb in the front seat of the truck. Tired from a long day and night, maybe one too many beers in the mix, she planted her feet on the dash, leaned back, and closed her eyes, snuggling closer to Caleb’s shoulder.

  Jack’s gaze touched her face, but moved back to the road. She watched through her lashes, and when his interest stayed on driving, she settled more into Caleb. He sat beside her rigid and indifferent for several minutes before he relaxed again.

  His hand settled over hers on the bench seat, hidden by her hips and his jacket sleeve.

  “She asleep?” Jack asked.

  “Yeah,” Caleb’s deep voice rumbled out the lie. She flipped her hand over and linked fingers with his. Their secret communication added a layer of danger. If Jack discovered them holding hands, well, she didn’t care, but Caleb did. She settled into him, and though he froze for a second, he settled back into her again. His pinky finger swept up and down against her thigh. She smiled on the inside as wave upon wave of shimmering tickles rippled over her skin from that one spot. Such a small thing, really, but it said so much. When it came right down to it, if she was close enough to touch without discovery, he reached for her in even this small way.

  Caleb’s heavy sigh drew Jack’s attention in the quiet truck cab. Summer tried to keep her breathing even and not draw Jack’s gaze.

  “We’ve got a lot of work to do tomorrow, since we spent most of today doing the whole parade and Christmas tree lighting stuff to make Summer happy.”

  “The tree looked good,” Caleb commented, indulging his inner beast with yet another stroke of his finger over Summer’s thigh. He knew better, but didn’t stop.

  “Yeah. Every year my parents took us. When I was little, I loved seeing Santa. As a teen, it was a great opportunity to sneak off with a girl. Sam and I got into a lot of trouble back then.”

  “Same for me and my family. We always went to town for the holiday parades.”

  “You miss your folks?”

  “Yeah. They’re thinking of doing some traveling like your parents.”

  “You think your dad will actually leave the ranch?”

  “He said Mom stayed with him all these years in Montana, the least he can do is follow her to whatever far-off place she wants to go.”

  “Sounds like my parents. Dad loves my mother something fierce. Never could say no to anything she wanted to do, but ranch life is everyday life.”

  “Yep. Dad’s thinking of leaving Dane in charge. Gabe and Blake already have their own places. Dane spreads his time between all three spreads and the rodeo.”

  “Summer seems to be looking for something more in her life. Stuck here on the ranch has severely limited her prospects if Charlie is the best she can do in this town.”

  “She’s not interested in Charlie.”

  Summer squeezed his hand to let him know she agreed. He shouldn’t feel this relieved, but he did.

  “I think she’s lonely,” Jack said, a touch of unease in his voice. “Maybe she’s not happy on the ranch all alone.”

  “She loves the ranch and her life here,” Caleb answered for her.

  “Do you know who this guy is she’s talking about?”

  The truck slowed and took the sharp turn into the drive to the ranch, making Summer fall off balance.

  “Jack, my love life is none of your concern.”

  “It is when you’re talking about marrying some guy and having babies. You’re only twenty-three. You can’t possibly want to settle down.”

  “Why not? If he’s the right man for me, why can’t I want those things?”

  “Well, I don’t know. Who is he?”

  “Does it matter who it is if I’m happy? Isn’t that what you really want for me no matter who the man is?”

  “What? Yes. I guess. But you still haven’t answered.”

  The truck stopped. Caleb released her hand, especially now that she wasn’t pretending to sleep and Jack had turned his attention to annoying her. Caleb slipped out of the truck and waited by the door for her exit.

  “I’ll walk you home,” Caleb offered.

  “What?” Jack looked around confused. “I keep forgetting you moved into the cabin. I’m so used to you living in the big house with me.”

  “If you got more than a few hours’ sleep and stopped working yourself to death, you might think more clearly.”

  Jack frowned, but didn’t deny her claim.

  “See you tomorrow.”

  “I can drive you over,” Jack offered.

  “It’s not that far, I’ll be fine.”

  “I’ll see her home. I need to stretch my legs anyway,” Caleb said, trailing after her.

  The front door slammed behind Jack, and she and Caleb made their way along the gravel road and across the pasture to the cabin Jack built the summer before last. She’d moved in when Jack and Caleb took over the big house. She couldn’t be in there with both of them all the time. Her attraction to Caleb made it impossible to hide her feelings. Jack teased her about flirting with Caleb. That became annoying and embarrassing real quick. Jack made her out to be some lovesick teenager, and she desperately wanted Caleb to see her as a woman.

  “You have to stop talking to Jack the way you did tonight.”

  “When I told you, through my conversation with him, exactly what I want.”

  “He’s my best friend, Summer. You do not date your best friend’s sister.”

  “You do if you like her and want to get to know her better.”

  “We know each other well enough. We spend a lot of time together.”

  “Yes. The three of us have become very cozy ranch mates. I want more.”

  “He saved my life. He’s my boss. I owe him more than taking his sister to bed to scratch a long neglected itch.”

  Was that all he wanted? Sex. She didn’t think so, but still, her heart sank. She stepped onto the stairs leading up to the porch and turned to face him. On her elevated perch, they stood eye to eye.

  “So, what you’re saying is it isn’t worth risking your friendship with Jack to see if there could be something worth it between us.”

  “I owe him my life. You never turn your back on a buddy. I’d lay down my life for his. He’d do the same for me.”

  “So, there you go. You’ll give up a chance to be with me for your buddy Jack, a man who can’t see his best friend is hurting. A man who can’t see his buddy overfills troughs and stumbles over rocks because he’s too busy staring at his sister. Jack may be surprised, but he’d never turn his back on you. I’ve seen the bond you share. He cares for you like a brother.”

  “Exactly. It’s complicated. You’re his baby sister. He’s protective of you.”

  “He trusts you with his life. Don’t you think he’d trust you with my heart?”

  Caleb planted his hands on his hips, hung his head, and shook it. “Summer . . .”

  “I’ve overstepped, put words in your mouth, and made rash assumptions. You obviously don’t feel for me the way I feel for you. After all these weeks, what you must think of me, trailing after you all over the ranch and making excuses to see you.”

  “It’s not like that,” he said, trying to let her down easy.

  If the man didn’t want to date her because his loyalty to her brother outweighed his desire to be with her, what else was she to think? Time to back off and save some pride.

  “No need to explain further. I misread the situation. I’m sorry if I’ve embarrassed you, or made you feel uncomfortable.”

  “You’ve done neither. I like being with you. If we’d met under other circumstances, maybe . . .”

  “Yes, but here we are. I understand. Get some rest, Caleb. You look like you haven’t slept in a week.”

  Unable to stop herself, she reached up to touch her fingertips to the dark smudges under his eyes, but dropped her hand just short of touching him. They both held their breath for a moment. She wanted al
l those bunched muscles he held so rigidly still to finally leap forward and bring her into his arms. No such luck. As always, he kept his thoughts, his emotions, his body just out of her reach.

  “Good night. Sleep well,” he said, doing an about–face and stalking off.

  Summer let him go without another word. The man was driving her insane. She unlocked the front door, closed it behind her without locking it, went through the dark living room and up the stairs to the loft. She stripped off her clothes, tossing them over the chair, and fell into bed naked, aching, and wanting a very large, confused male in her bed with her.

  She thought over the conversation and realized one thing. He never said he didn’t want her. Maybe there was still hope.

  CALEB STALKED BACK to the house, telling himself every step of the way that he couldn’t take his best friend’s sister to bed, make love to her all night, and wake up in the morning and still have his life remain exactly the same. That thought stopped him cold. He turned and stared back at the large window in the peaked roof and thought of her in bed. Naked. Waiting for him to come to her.

  She tied him in knots and made him think and wish for things he had no right wanting.

  She was all he thought about. He’d never met another woman as happy and carefree. Someone who woke up smiling and giggled at the smallest things she found such delight in. More than just beautiful to look at, she had a big heart. When she spoke of family and friends and spending her life with him, he wanted to believe in the dream because she believed in it so deeply. She believed in him and his ability to make her happy the rest of her life.

  The thought she might actually love him, scared him. What if he made her promises and couldn’t keep them? What if the whole thing ended in her unhappiness? His blood chilled at the thought of hurting or disappointing her.

  Well, he’d disappointed and hurt her tonight.

  They’d never even kissed. They’d shared nothing more than a few flirtatious touches, like the soft caress he gave her in Jack’s truck. So how could he feel this much and this deep for her?

  How could she believe he didn’t want her enough to go against Jack’s wishes? She didn’t. The devious woman just wanted him to think she thought that.

  He smiled at the black windows, staring at him like some haunted house while she slept peacefully in her bed, irritating him because sleep eluded him more nights than he could count, and she knew that, too.

  Right about one thing, he didn’t know how Jack would react. Maybe he’d be okay with Caleb dating his sister. Maybe not.

  Again, everything inside Caleb stopped cold. He didn’t just want to date her. He wanted to make a life with her. Days, weeks, months, years stretched ahead of him, and he wanted her by his side. Always. Forever.

  He’d talk to Jack, broach the subject in a roundabout sort of way and gauge Jack’s reaction.

  What will you do if Jack is against your seeing his sister?

  He didn’t want to think about it anymore. Too bad his every waking thought revolved around her.

  Chapter Four

  THREE DAYS AFTER his late-night conversation with Summer outside the cabin, Caleb cornered Jack in his office and sat in the seat in front of his desk. Jack didn’t say a word, or acknowledge him, but kept clicking away on his new computer, inputting data into his custom spreadsheets.

  “Have you seen Summer in the last few days?” Caleb asked, breaking the lengthening silence.

  “She’s been working at the salon and helping out Mary at the diner, taking the evening shift,” Jack answered with an easy tone.

  “That place is a wreck. Someone should buy it and fix it up.”

  “Yeah.” Jack’s focus remained on the computer and work.

  Caleb had no idea she’d been working two full-time shifts. To avoid him? He missed her and wanted to see her.

  “What’s up?” Jack asked.

  “I was thinking of the other night. Summer and that loser Charlie. Did Summer ever date any of your or Sam’s friends back in the day?”

  “Why would any of our friends want to date her? You don’t date your buddy’s sister.”

  Well, that answered his unspoken question.

  “Besides, she had her own friends and dated a couple of guys in her class. Charlie might have been drunk the other night, but that loser is in grad school. He’ll pull his act together and probably make more money than the two of us combined.”

  “The ranch is doing better, right?”

  “Dad and Mom got by and saved a small nest egg, but this place needs some major upgrades. It’ll be a couple of years before I’ve got it running the way I want.”

  “I hate to make things harder on you, but I’m going home to Montana.”

  “Your family wants you home for Christmas.”

  “I’m moving back.”

  “You’re serious?”

  “Things just don’t feel normal.”

  “I thought you liked it here.”

  “I do. I love it, but there are things I want that I can’t get here.”

  “What?”

  “Look, man, this is your ranch and your family. After everything we’ve been through in the army, I need something of my own. Something I can build a life on.”

  “I thought that’s what we were doing here together. Building this place, making a new kind of life.”

  “We are, but this is your ranch.”

  “Yes, but you’re the foreman. Haven’t we made most of the decisions together? We’re partners, right?”

  “We have been, yes. It’s just . . . I don’t know. I’m tired. I want to go home, see my family, regroup.”

  “Nightmares.” Jack only needed to say that one word for them to share a knowing look that they each suffered the same nightly hell.

  “Take all the time you need,” Jack said. “Your job and I will be here when you want to come back.”

  “You mean that?”

  “Of course I do. You saved my life. I owe you everything.”

  “Jack, man, you’re the one who saved me after that rocket-propelled grenade opened up my side and I nearly bled to death.”

  “I may have stitched you back together, but you stayed by my side more times than I can count, holding off the enemy with gunfire while I helped one of our guys. Covering my ass is saving my life—and the guy bleeding at my feet.”

  Caleb hung his head, hating to think about the things they’d seen and done to stay alive. Fighting as army Rangers, Jack a specially trained medic, they’d seen way too much killing and dying.

  “When are you leaving?”

  “In a few days. Maybe a week. I don’t want to leave you high and dry.”

  “Don’t worry about me, man. I’ll manage without you until you come back.”

  “What if I don’t come back?” Caleb hated to think he’d never see Jack again. Their friendship meant the world to him, but he couldn’t spend the rest of his life here, wanting Summer and never being able to have her. The nightmares tortured him enough. He couldn’t take anything more.

  “I hope you don’t mean that. Summer will miss you. Seems you two became friends the moment we arrived.”

  “I really like your sister. I’ll miss her.”

  “Yeah, she’s been a bright spot in my dismal mind. I think she might be mad at me about the night at the bar. Maybe it’s time I stopped being the overprotective brother and let her live her life without my interference.”

  “You want the best for her. It’s understandable.”

  “I do, but she has to make the decision about what is best for her, not me.”

  “When did you have this epiphany?”

  Jack laughed. “I saw her the other night when she got home and we got into it. Those were her words, and she’s right. With my head the way it is right now, I can barely keep track of everything I need to do for the ranch, let alone figure out what my sister wants or needs.”

  “I’ll let you know when I’ve got my plans set.”

  Jack frowned
, but gave him a nod. Caleb left the office and walked to one of the stall doors and Summer’s horse, Speckles. The mare came to him, dropping her head into his waiting hands for a scratch.

  He let the feelings building inside him well up to the back of his throat, threatening to choke him. His chest ached. He feared he’d live with this miserable emptiness the rest of his life.

  He pressed his forehead to the mare’s and sighed out his frustration and sadness.

  “How am I going to say good-bye to her?”

  Chapter Five

  CALEB WORKED HIS body and mind numb for the week he didn’t see Summer. She left for work each morning without coming up to the big house for coffee and breakfast. She came home after dark each night and hid away in her cabin. He did not breach the walls she put around her, both physical and mental.

  The snowstorm last night kept her home this morning. The roads this far out of town wouldn’t be plowed for several more hours. He’d have to find an opportunity to talk to her soon. With Christmas two weeks away, he needed to say his good-bye and get to Montana before the snows up there kept him here longer.

  Lost in the rhythmic stroke of the brush over the horse in front of him, he didn’t hear her come up behind him.

  “Caleb.” Her tentative voice made his heart ache. It shouldn’t be like this. Not between friends.

  Braced to face her, he held back a gasp, seeing her beautiful face framed in her golden hair. Sometimes, the woman took his breath away. Her blue eyes held a touch of sadness. She looked lovely in tight blue jeans and a red sweater beneath a brown leather vest lined in thick shearling.

  “Jack told me you’re leaving. Going home to Montana and your family.”

  He dropped the brush on a nearby shelf and took the few steps to stand in front of her. He owed her that much, to face her eye-to-eye when he said good-bye. He hoped she knew how much it broke his heart to leave her.

  “I meant to tell you myself. I need time to figure out what I want to do.”

  “Time to heal, too. How long’s it been since you slept a whole night?”