All I Want for Christmas Is a Cowboy

by Jennifer Ryan

  “I’m fine.”

  “That’s what Jack says. You both need . . . well, neither of you cares what I think you need.”

  “That’s not true.”

  “Then why are you leaving?”

  “Because it’s best.”

  “For who?”

  Caleb tucked his hands behind his back and bowed his head, unable to answer. Nothing he said would make sense, because leaving her didn’t make sense. Not when he wanted to be with her, and she wanted to be with him.

  Summer sighed out her frustration and hurt. She rubbed one hand over the box in her hand and touched her fingers to the sparkling red bow. “This is for you.”

  “What?”

  “Your Christmas present. Since you won’t be here, I thought you’d like it now.”

  “I’m not leaving for a couple of days.” He shouldn’t keep putting it off. He made one excuse after another to delay the drive to Montana. Why? He’d made up his mind to go. He should leave. Now. Before this got any more complicated and difficult.

  Who was he kidding? Leaving her was impossibly hard.

  “Open it.”

  “Did you wrap this yourself?”

  “Just for you.”

  “It’s a pretty package. I hate to mess it up.”

  “You don’t have to. Just lift off the lid. I’ll hold the bottom.”

  The excitement built in his gut. He didn’t know what she’d bought him, he didn’t care. He’d have something to take home with him to remind him of her.

  He pulled the lid free and set it aside at his feet. Tissue paper concealed the gift inside, so he pulled the loose paper away and took a step back, surprised and floored by the gift she’d picked out for him.

  “Summer, that’s . . .”

  “To remind you of who you really are. Who you were when you left for the war and who you are now. A cowboy.” She pulled the dark brown Stetson from the tissue paper and dropped the box on the floor. She closed the short distance between them and set the hat on his head. “Perfect fit, Montana Man. Matches your eyes,” she said, her voice husky with emotion.

  “Summer, you ready to go?” Jack called from the open barn doors.

  “Yeah, I’m ready.” Choked up, she swallowed hard and blinked away the shine in her bright eyes.

  “Nice hat,” Jack said, stepping up to join them.

  “Thanks,” Caleb said, unable to say anything more at the moment, gaze locked on Summer’s pretty face.

  “No wonder you’ve been working all those extra shifts at the diner.” Jack’s gaze held his, and something came and went in his eyes Caleb didn’t recognize or understand. Did he suspect something going on between him and Summer?

  “I can’t wait to see what you got me if you’re spending that kind of money on your friend.”

  Again, Jack’s gaze shot to his, but fell back to his sister as he gave her an assessing stare.

  “You won’t be disappointed,” she said, turning away from Jack’s scrutiny.

  “Where are you two off to?” Caleb asked, confused the two of them would saddle up and ride out into the snow-covered hills.

  “We always get the Christmas tree the first snow of December.” Jack continued to study Summer, then turned back to him. “Saddle up. I’ll need your help.”

  Caleb wanted to ignore the implied order. Technically, he still worked for Jack, even if he’d given his notice. This was a family thing. So why did Jack invite him along? Close as brothers, yeah, he felt like part of the family. Jack and Summer and the rest of them always made him feel a part of it.

  What better way to say good-bye than one last ride, in the snow, picking out a Christmas tree. He’d add the memory to all the others and pull it out when he missed her most.

  “I promised her. She’s been down this last week. When you leave, it will just be me and her and maybe Sam at Christmas. She doesn’t want us to forget or forgo all the things we did as a family growing up just because the whole family isn’t together.” Jack glanced at Summer again. “Come with us.”

  Did Jack finally see what he and Summer shared?

  SUMMER HOISTED HERSELF into the saddle and walked Speckles around the yard in a circle, waiting for Jack to come out. When he did, with Caleb saddled on another sorrel, she hid her smile of surprise.

  “Ready to go?” Jack asked, saddling up and riding toward her, the sled dragging behind his horse to pull the tree back.

  “Yeah.” This time she smiled. At Jack. “Thanks for doing this with me.”

  “I just want you to be happy, sis. You will bake Mom’s chocolate chip almond cookies, right? You promised.”

  “It’s tradition,” she said, smiling and feeling lighter.

  Caleb rode up beside her. Speckles took interest in his horse and scooted closer. Summer’s leg brushed against Caleb’s and sparks flew, their eyes met, and heat flashed in his eyes.

  “Nice hat,” she teased.

  “I love it,” he said, his voice deep and earnest.

  “I’m glad you’re coming with us.”

  “Me, too.”

  Jack led them through the pastures to the old fire road that wound up into the hills. No one spoke, everyone taking in the beautiful, sunny, crisp day and the blanket of fresh snow covering the ground. The nude trees stood like sticks reaching up to the blue sky, making it easy to spot the evergreens as they searched for the perfect Christmas tree.

  Caleb stayed beside her as the horses took them deeper into the forest. The quiet wrapped around them, creating an intimacy they’d never shared on the ranch. She loved it out here, and having Caleb with her in this place she loved made it all the more special.

  They lost sight of Jack around a corner and Caleb pulled his horse close to hers again. Their legs rubbed together and another blaze of awareness and heat rushed through her. His hand covered hers on her thigh.

  “You forgot your gloves.”

  “I got distracted back at the barn.”

  “Too busy giving me gifts and staring at me.”

  She smiled, shy and embarrassed about being caught. She turned to the trees, avoiding his steady gaze.

  He squeezed her hand, brought it to his mouth, and breathed on her frozen fingers. His warmth seeped into her.

  “I like looking at you, too. You’re so beautiful.”

  She sucked in a breath and turned to face him.

  “Why do you always braid your hair?”

  “It gets in the way,” she answered with the lame excuse for not taking the time to do her hair every day.

  “I like it when it’s down.” He reached into his inner coat pocket and pulled out his olive drab ski cap and handed it over to her. “Here, put this on.”

  She took it and went still when his fingers brushed against her earlobe, sending a shiver through her.

  “Your ears are pink, sweetheart.”

  Sweetheart?

  “Caleb, I . . .”

  “Are you two coming, or what?” Jack called from up ahead.

  “If you’re too cold, you can have my jacket.”

  “I’m fine. Thank you.”

  He gave her hand a squeeze, indicating she should put the hat on. She did and he smiled at her. It felt like before everything got weird between them.

  “Go on ahead. Catch up to Jack. I’ll be along in a minute.”

  “You sure? I don’t mind staying with you.”

  “I’m sure,” she said, smiling to encourage him to go and to hide the devious plan she hatched before leaving the barn.

  Chapter Six

  CALEB JOINED JACK around the bend and dismounted next to his horse. He tethered his horse to a tree limb and joined Jack in the middle of the road.

  “Where is she?” Jack whispered.

  “Why are we whispering?”

  “Family tradition.” Jack held up a handful of snow. “Snowball fight.”

  Caleb propped his new Stetson on the saddle horn. Like old times, Jack used hand signals for him to go left down a short embankment an
d follow the road back around the bend to come up behind Summer as she approached Jack. Caleb grinned and headed out, gathering up snow in each hand. He felt bad about ambushing her, but liked being part of her family traditions.

  He made his way along the road inside the tree line. He had a moment of déjà vu, but shook off the demons that attacked him in the night, which he kept at bay during the day.

  The spot he’d left Summer came into view and he stopped short, surprised to find the road empty. No way she got past him. He’d have seen her.

  All of a sudden, two large snowballs pelted him square in the back of his head. Snow slid down his collar, chilling him. He held back a yelp and brushed it away and spun around to catch her with one of his snowballs. He didn’t see her. Cagey woman. So, she wanted to play. Well, he’d been trained by the best. No way she got away from him.

  A twig snapped off to his right. She’d already passed him and closed in on Jack’s location. Caleb made a beeline for her and laughed when Jack grunted and yelled out, “Man, that’s cold.”

  She got him, too. Impressed, he made a wide circle to come up behind her, but before he spotted her, she tagged him with another large snowball right in the chest. He looked down at the icy mess on his jacket and glanced up just in time to catch her jump down from a low tree branch and make a run for a clump of rocks.

  He signaled Jack with a low whistle, caught a glimpse of him through the trees, and gave him a hand signal to indicate Summer’s direction. They smiled at each other. Caleb swore he heard Jack’s thought, Just like old times. Caught up in the game, they stalked their prey.

  He couldn’t hide the crunch of snow under his boots, but neither could she. Ahead of him, he gathered icy ammunition. Snowballs at the ready, he came around a tree only to get pummeled by a barrage of snowballs. She laughed and launched another one when he chanced a look around the tree he hid behind. The snowball hit him smack in the face. He had to give her credit. The woman threw a mean snowball.

  Jack whistled, signaling their attack. Caleb came out from cover firing. Jack did the same, twenty paces away. Summer took the high ground and stood atop a large boulder with at least a dozen snowballs at her feet. She launched one after the other at him and Jack as they advanced on her. Her laughter rang out in the forest, setting what few birds remained to flight. Jack laughed along with her and he joined in. The most fun he’d had in . . . he couldn’t remember when.

  He and Jack pummeled her. He got her in the gut and one to the chest. Shock widened her eyes when the snow went down her sweater between her lovely breasts. She shook it out, but Jack didn’t relent and hit her in the top of the head with another barrage. She stood to lob another at him and Caleb tossed another, hitting her in the thigh. She slipped on the icy rock, stood tall to gain her balance, but her other foot hit an icy patch and she fell backward, arms wind milling in the air. She disappeared off the back of the rock yelling, “Ow,” when she hit the ground with a thump that stopped his heart.

  “Summer,” he yelled, and ran for her. He beat Jack and fell to his knees beside her. Without a thought, he wrapped his arm around her back and pulled her up to his chest and held her close, examining the gash on her head at her hairline. “Are you okay, sweetheart?”

  She grabbed his shoulders to steady herself and gave him a tentative smile. “I’m okay. A branch caught me on the head when I fell.”

  “You could have been really hurt.” He crushed her to his chest and held her close, giving his pounding heart a minute to settle.

  Summer wrapped her arms around Caleb and set her chin on his shoulder, loving the feel of him so close. She looked up and caught Jack watching them with a strange look on his face. Caleb’s concern for her touched her deeply, and she couldn’t hide how that made her feel.

  “You sure you’re okay?” Jack asked, not coming any closer.

  “I’m good.” Being safe in Caleb’s arms made her feel better than good. She felt loved.

  Jack gave her a nod.

  Caleb stiffened and pulled away, holding her by the shoulders at arm’s length.

  “Caleb, put some snow on that gash. It’ll stop the bleeding and take down any swelling. I’ll go up and check on the horses. Meet me up there when you’ve got her squared away.” Jack turned to leave, but looked back at her and smiled. “You were right about sticking to our traditions. The snowball fight was a lot of fun. You’ve gotten better.”

  “I know. I won.”

  Jack headed up the short hill, laughing. “Yeah, you did.”

  Caleb’s head fell to her shoulder. “I thought you were really hurt.”

  Surprised he didn’t comment about Jack seeing them in an embrace, she slid her fingers through his hair to the back of his head and held him to her. “It’s just a small scratch. Nothing to worry about.”

  “Jack’ll kill me for putting a mark on you.”

  “Not your fault. I slipped and fell.”

  Caleb raised his head and met her gaze. “You’re bleeding. I can’t stand to see you hurt.”

  The moment stretched and his eyes narrowed. He swore and crushed his mouth to hers. Something primal sparked inside both of them and they dove at each other, their lips meeting in a frenzied need denied far too long.

  His hands remained gentle, cradling her face, but his lips took possession and consumed. His tongue slipped past her lips to taste and slide against hers. Her fingertips dug into his shoulders, pulling him closer.

  Caleb broke the kiss first, holding her head between his two hands. He didn’t open his eyes right away, but gathered himself. They gulped in deep breaths and let them out on wispy gasps into the cold, crisp air.

  He brushed a soft kiss on her forehead, her temple, and the small cut at her hairline. He pressed his forehead to hers and held her close. She covered his hands on both sides of her head with hers.

  “Caleb, honey, it’s okay.”

  “Jack’s going to kill me.”

  “I think he knows there’s something between us.”

  “He suspects, but if he caught me kissing you . . .”

  “What? He wouldn’t be your friend because you like his sister?”

  “What I feel for you goes far beyond like, sweetheart.”

  “Then shouldn’t he be happy for us, that we’ve found something special together?”

  He stood and turned his back on her. The stab of pain in her heart hurt. She brushed her fingers through her unbound hair and realized that during their kiss he’d somehow knocked off her cap and undone her braid. She giggled, drawing his attention.

  “What’s so funny?”

  “You.” She pointed to her head.

  “What?”

  “You couldn’t wait to get your hands on my hair.”

  The look on his face and the hot gaze he swept over her body said he’d like to get his hands on a lot more than her hair.

  “It’s really soft and always smells like spring flowers.” His massive shoulders went up and down in a dismissive shrug he didn’t really mean. The moment they shared meant something deep and profound. As much as it meant to her.

  She took his offered hand and he pulled her up to her feet. He took the cap from her hand and slid it over her head, making sure it covered her ears. His fingertips brushed the small cut.

  “You okay?”

  “I’m fine. Are you okay?” she asked, knowing he needed some rest and, unfortunately, more time to figure things out.

  Without a word, he took her into his arms and held her close. She settled her chin on his shoulder and hugged him.

  “I’m leaving in a couple of days.”

  She fell back onto her flat feet, reached up, and cupped his rough cheek in her palm. “Trying to convince me, or you?”

  She walked up the hill, met Jack by the horses, and pointed out a beautiful spruce. “That one is just the right shape and height. Let’s get it.”

  “How’s the head?” Jack asked.

  Her heart hurt more over losing Caleb before they’d
ever really had a chance. “I’ll be fine,” she said, as much for his benefit as her own.

  Jack’s gaze fell on Caleb coming up behind her. He wore that same strange look.

  “Grab the saw. Let’s get Summer her tree.”

  Caleb grabbed the two-man saw from the sled. They worked together to cut the tree down and load it. The bond between them showed in the way they joked and teased, and the easy way in which they worked in unison. They’d spent years working together, bonded by what they’d seen and done in the name of freedom. For the first time, she really understood and saw why Caleb clung to his friendship with Jack, instead of following his heart. They shared a bond born of need and necessity, forged during a time when trust and loyalty meant life or death.

  Caleb stopped midstride to his horse and stared at her. She met his steady gaze and silently let him know she understood with a simple nod. He frowned, planted his hands on his hips, and nodded once to let her know he understood. She felt the wave of grief roll off her and blend with the wave of anguish he let out with a heavy sigh.

  “It’s time,” Jack called from up ahead.

  She mounted her horse and followed them. Yes, time to let him and the sweet dream of a future with Caleb go.

  Chapter Seven

  CALEB HELD SUMMER’S legs just above the knee as she stood on the ladder and put the star at the top of the twelve-foot tree. She smiled down at him. He had to admit, he loved her idea of using only white, silver, green, and red decorations. The tree looked elegant, like it belonged in some home decorating magazine. White bows; silver, red, and green glass balls in varying sizes; and cranberries strung together by all of them. The smell of cinnamon and hot apple cider filled the air, mingling with the tangy pine scent. The fire crackled in the huge stone hearth. Country Christmas. Perfect. Just what Summer wanted. Home and tradition. Family and friends gathered together around the tree.

  He wanted to stay. He dreamed of making love to Summer, waking with her in his arms on Christmas morning, and sitting with her on the floor next to the tree opening presents, sharing some laughs, and enjoying the company and the holiday together.