Some Kind of Monster

by Albany Walker

  “Damiana,” Gunnar calls, but I ignore him.

  “Motherfuckers.”

  I feel the house literally shake as they chase me down the stairs. Grim ends up appearing right in front of me at the bottom of the steps.

  “Move!”

  “The Nemean thinks you want the wolf,” Grim tells me, not stepping out of my way or beating around the bush.

  I shove his shoulder. It’s not lost on me that I just pushed him, yet I threatened to kill Calix for doing something similar. “Then he’s an idiot, and so are you for believing his bullshit!”

  “I told you,” Gunnar snaps.

  “Fuck! I’m sorry, but I heard you say you didn’t know how to tell us something this morning, then Aeson came up with that bullshit lie about vaginal dryness. I don’t know what to think!” he shouts, still angry.

  “That has absolutely fucking nothing to do with Torin!” If I had neighbors, they would be in lawn chairs listening to this shit show.

  “Then what were you talking about?” Gunnar’s voice is hard as he crosses his arms over his chest and stands next to Calix in a united front.

  “Fuck you, I don’t need to tell you shit.” I start to walk away again, but they all follow me. “Fucking idiot. That’s his automatic assumption? That I want to fuck more people? Like the three dicks I have already aren’t enough for me?” I’m talking to myself, and my body is damn near vibrating with fury.

  “You’re nice to him—you call him ‘Wolfy,’” Gunnar reasons, not helping their case.

  “Of course I’m nice to him. Contrary to popular opinion, I’m not a heartless bitch, and he just lost his fucking mate.”

  Grim distances himself from the other two men, his eyes glued to me. “You should be quiet now,” he tells them.

  “No,” Gunnar insists. “She admitted there is something she is keeping from us. I want to know what it is.”

  I shake my head. There is no way I’m telling them now, especially not like this. I force some calmness into my tone. “No, I’m not ready to talk to you about it now.”

  Gunnar scoffs, like I’m being childish. It takes everything in me not to say something snide to him. He looks at Calix as if he’s waiting for him to add something, but he doesn’t. Instead, Calix turns his back to me and walks away without ever acknowledging he did something wrong. It makes my chest ache.

  I wet my lips. “Grim, I’m sorry I pushed you when we were near the stairs, that was wrong.” I don’t wait for his reply, instead I stride past him and into the foyer then right out the front door.

  The air is much cooler here, and dawn is still a few hours away, so my yard is blanketed in darkness, leaving just the moon and stars to cast a gloomy glow. I can’t even make out the tree line from my porch.

  When it’s clear no one is going to follow me this time, I lay my hand over my lower stomach and whisper miserably, “Well, that didn’t go how I expected.”

  After pouting on the porch for an hour, I make my way back into the house, taking it as a sign of growth that I didn’t need one of them to convince me to come back inside. Yay me.

  Calix’s head pops up when I amble into my favorite parlor. I already knew they were here. I’m still upset about what he did, but I don’t know how to have a productive conversation about it.

  Gunnar’s arms fold over his chest as if to protect himself from me. I feel defeated before I even speak, but I don’t let it stop me. “Yeah, so it sucks that you don’t trust me. It makes me feel like you think I take this for granted. I get that you guys got the raw end of the deal when it comes to getting me as your mate, considering I got all of you, but I wouldn’t do that to you, not to any of you.” I don’t know what to do with my body. My hands feel awkward at my sides and weird when I put them on my hips, so I end up just fidgeting around a bit.

  I expect someone to say something, to maybe even deny that they got a raw deal, but no one speaks up, and it hurts. I swallow the lump in my throat, not knowing what else to say since they aren’t even speaking.

  I hook my thumb over my shoulder. “I’m tired, so…” My nose sounds clogged, but I ignore it. With that I leave the room, my head high, at least until I make it to the stairs, which is when I allow the façade to crumble as I slowly make my way up to my room.

  When I shut the door behind me, I lock it. It’s the first time in months I’ve locked them away from me, but I need the space now. I don’t think I could handle them ignoring me again. I’d rather shut them out before they can do it to me.

  I take a nice long shower, and a few tears might have even fallen, but I’ll never tell. Then I pull on a pair of leggings and one of my own oversized shirts. The sheets are freshly laundered: the benefit of hiring a cleaning crew that actually works, even if I’m not home.

  I don’t expect sleep to come quickly, but when I close my eyes, I’m surprised at how tired I feel. I let my mind go blank, and every time a thought tries to intrude, I cover it with a blanket of blackness until I eventually drift off.

  The sound of the door handle jiggling wakes me. I mistake the sound for the crooked man, but then I hear, “No, I shouldn’t have let you talk me into leaving her alone.” Grim doesn’t bother whispering. I still pretend to be sleeping when I feel the rift from his portal.

  “Leave him be, it’s almost time for her to get up anyway,” Calix mutters dejectedly from the other side of the door.

  “Wow, he’s still being an asshole, huh?” I croak, my voice deep from sleep.

  “I can get rid of him if it would please you,” Grim offers.

  I take a deep breath and sigh out, “No, it would not please me.”

  “I didn’t think it would. May I stay?”

  “I guess.” I shrug. Seems like a full day of rest didn’t fix our problems. That sucks.

  I don’t know where my phone is at this point, so I ask, “What time is it anyway?”

  “Five seventeen,” Grim answers. The fact that he’s just standing near the door takes me a little by surprise. I thought he would have come closer. I’m at a loss. I don’t know how to fill the distance developing between us, especially after last night.

  “I guess I should get up,” I mutter, even though I don’t really want to get out of bed.

  “It’s still early.” How should I take that? Does he want me to stay in bed? When I don’t move, he finally makes his way closer to me and slowly sits on the edge of the bed. “The Nemean and Berserker think you want to be left alone because we’re idiots, but I think you already know we are idiots and we should be begging for your forgiveness.”

  I dip my chin and pull up the blanket so Grim can’t see the messy grin on my face. “They’re dumb,” I mutter with my mouth still hidden under the blanket.

  “But I’m not?” Grim looks over his shoulder so he can see me.

  “You haven’t apologized yet.”

  Grim places his palm on the bed and climbs closer until he’s lying next to me. While looking right into my eyes, he tugs the blanket down so he can see my entire face. “I’m sorry. Sorry that I didn’t rip off the Nemean’s arm when he touched you in anger. Sorry I let my disquiet allow me to question your loyalty.”

  “Thank you,” I whisper. “If he ever does it again, you won’t have to rip his arm off, because I will. Then I’ll beat him with it.”

  “I don’t think you will ever have to worry about that. The Nemean isn’t any happier with himself than you are.” Grim slides his hand over my side to rest on the flare of my hip.

  “He sure has a funny way of showing it.”

  “I didn’t say he wasn’t an idiot, just a remorseful idiot.” Grim’s statement makes me chuckle. When he leans in for a kiss, I don’t stop him. It’s soft and sweet. It says just as much as his words do, and I eat up the affection.

  Grim ends the kiss with a few soft pecks before pulling back and observing me. Looking into his beautiful gray eyes, I remember how this whole thing started. “There is something I need to talk to all of you about.” I was ner
vous about their reactions yesterday, and after the argument last night, I’m feeling even more vulnerable.

  Grim wraps his hand around the nape of my neck and closes his eyes while placing his forehead on mine. “Would you like me to get the others?” His voice is deep but soft. He’s either picking up on my apprehension, or I’m reading way too much into his response.

  I stroke my fingers over his jaw and dance my touch over his lips. Grim’s eyes open, and I make sure that my face isn’t betraying my emotions by giving him what I hope is a reassuring smile. “No, you don’t need get to them. I’m going to get dressed and I’ll meet you downstairs.”

  Grim presses a quick, hard kiss against my lips and kneads his fingers into my hip before shoving himself up from the mattress. When he reaches the door, he grips the knob and looks over his shoulder, his eyes roaming over me like it may be the last time he gets the privilege. “I’ll be waiting.”

  “Grim,” I call before he leaves. I almost tell him right then, but I stop myself. “Nothing, I’ll be down in a minute.” Once he’s gone, I flip onto my back and stare up at the ceiling. I need to quit freaking out. This isn’t a deal breaker, or it shouldn’t be anyway. Sure, it’s fast, and really unexpected, but the realness of having a baby is actually starting to sink in, and I’m kind of… excited. Really fucking scared, but inexplicably delighted too. I’m a mess.

  I need to remember that this may come as just as much of a shock to them as it did to me. I thought I was going to throw up when I learned the truth—it was a knee-jerk reaction—and they may have a similar response. “Don’t overreact, even if they do.” With that little pep talk out of the way, I toss back the covers and climb out of bed.

  If I didn’t know for certain they were here, I wouldn’t have a clue. The house is as quiet as a tomb and feels as somber as one as I head into the kitchen. All three of them are sitting at the table, and every eye turns in my direction as I enter the room. “Hey.” I wave because I don’t know what to do with myself, and now this feels as if I’ve made too big of a buildup.

  Grim rises and pulls out an empty chair for me to sit, but I’m too anxious for that. “I’m gonna get a drink. Anyone want anything?”

  They all decline. Heading over to the fridge, I grab a bottle of water and lean my ass against the counter, keeping the island between us. “So… I wanted to talk to you all about something I realized yesterday morning, and I thought it would be better if we came home… came here,” I amend, then add, “So I could tell you.”

  “What is it?” Gunnar leans his arms against the table.

  I wet my lips. It’s now or never. “First, I want to say I didn’t plan this. I didn’t even know it was possible.”

  “Dami, please, you’re killing me. What’s wrong?” Calix’s hands are balled up into fists on his thighs.

  I lower my eyes to the floor. “I’m pretty sure… I’m pregnant. Not pretty sure, just sure. And I didn’t do it on purpose. I don’t know anything about kids. And it’s not like I need to trap you guys. Pretty much already did that, which was also unintentional,” I ramble. When I’m brave enough to actually lift my gaze, I wish I had a camera.

  Grim’s eyes are as wide as I’ve ever seen them, Calix’s mouth is actually gaping open, and Gunnar is just sitting there blinking rapidly. “Can you say that again?” Calix is the first to speak.

  “I can, but it’s not going to change the truth. I’m pregnant,” I tell them, enunciating the words slowly.

  “That’s what I thought you said.” Calix scratches the top of his head.

  “Like with a baby?” Gunnar whispers.

  A laugh escapes me. I feel kind of bad, I was that shocked too. “Who knows? Between the four of us, it might just be a fucking octopus. It’s not like any of us are rocking normalcy.”

  “A babe,” Grim breathes reverently. “That was the extra presence within you when you began meditating.” He’s speaking to himself. His chair tips backwards as he rushes to stand before coming around the counter. The next thing I know, Grim is on his knees in front of me, his hands inches away from my lower stomach as if he’s afraid to actually touch me. “I felt her.”

  “Her?” I have to grab the counter when my knees buckle.

  The sound of another chair scooting back has my eyes jumping up to see Calix hustling across the room like his feet are on skates. It’s the least graceful I’ve ever seen him. “What do you mean you felt her? Is something wrong?”

  “She wasn’t calling to be reaped. I just sensed her when I helped Damiana release the captured souls.” Grim’s hands are still hovering over me.

  “Can you feel her now?” Calix asks in an awe filled whisper.

  “Just a spark,” Grim murmurs. At least no one is freaking out—yet. I look over to see that Gunnar is still seated at the table, his eyes unfocused as he stares at nothing.

  “How do you know it is a girl?” Calix shuffles his way even closer.

  “I just do.” Grim finally places his hands on my hips and looks up at me. His gray eyes are still wide, but with wonder instead of shock. “We’re creating something.”

  I shrug and kind of nod at the same time. “I think we already did the creating part.”

  “She’s been eating. Is this why you’ve been eating? How far along are you? When will she be here?”

  My head is about to spin with all the questions Calix just threw at me. I open my mouth to tell him I have no clue, but he starts speaking again.

  “We can’t go back to Savannah, it’s too dangerous. Call Torin.” As soon as the name falls from his lips, Calix turns and looks at me. “He knew. You told him before you told us?” he accuses.

  I shake my head and try to answer, but I get cut off again, this time by Grim. “The wolf,” he snarls. “How does he know?”

  “Are you actually going to let me speak? I don’t want this shit to get out of hand again because of a misunderstanding.” I plant my hands on my hips and glare at both of them. Grim rises to his feet but doesn’t back away, while Calix has the good sense to lower his head. I peek over at Gunnar again. His mouth is moving, but he’s not speaking.

  “We can most certainly go back to Savannah, and Torin only knows because he was eavesdropping on Aeson and me while we were in the kitchen. I never talked to him about it, and he never talked to me.”

  “So Aeson knows?” Calix questions. “I knew that vaginal dryness story was such bullshit.”

  “She said something to me about eating… and it all connected in my head.” I point to my temple.

  “This is what you wanted to tell us?” Calix winces and lets out a heavy breath.

  “You grabbed her.” Grim shoves Calix’s shoulder hard enough that he stumbles back. I put my arm against Grim’s chest to stop him from advancing on Calix.

  “Enough, not right now, not after you let him get away with it yesterday.” I scowl, and Grim backs down immediately. Using the extra space, I step away so I’m no longer caged between the two men and the counter.

  “Don’t start this overprotective crap already,” I grouch, then I turn to face Gunnar. I didn’t really know what to expect from any of them, but seeing him so completely still and absolutely quiet didn’t even make the list of how I thought he would react.

  I take the seat next to the big man and lean over so I’m in his field of vision. He blinks several times as if I’ve broken some sort of trance. “It’s a lot, I know.”

  Gunnar snaps into action and grabs my hand. “You may not possess me, because I am my own, but I give myself to you freely. I pledge your name will be the only name I cry out for.”

  “Did you just marry her?” Calix stomps over, incredulous.

  “Aye,” Gunnar confirms.

  “You didn’t even ask her.”

  “She’s accepted my gifts, and I’ve spoken the vow.”

  “What about us, you selfish cock?” Calix snaps.

  “We are all bound to her, Nemean. Nothing chan—” Gunnar doesn’t even get a chance to fi
nish because I burst out laughing and he stops speaking mid word. “What’s so funny?” he demands instead.

  I lift my hand. “I have no clue!” I’m laughing so hard I can barely breathe. When the giggling finally subsides, my side hurts and so do my cheeks. I’m honestly not sure what I found so funny, maybe it was the ridiculousness of him just declaring us married, but I feel a tremendous sense of relief. I’m pretty sure it has a lot to do with the fact that they took the news much better than I did.

  “It wasn’t that funny.” Gunnar pouts.

  “I’m not laughing at you, Kitten. If speaking those words are important to you, then they’re important to me. It’s just this is all so crazy. I couldn’t have even made something like this up, and here I am, living it. We all are.”

  Chapter 20

  “Why are we still discussing this?” I’m about ready to beat my head on the table. Here I thought the biggest issue would be them fighting over who the baby daddy is, but no. It’s all about the fucking bubble they think I should live in now. “Grim has tethered my soul to my body, what are you so worried about?”

  “I still don’t like it,” Gunnar grumbles, brooding over in the corner.

  “And you’ve made that abundantly clear,” I mutter, putting my head in my hands.

  “None of us like it,” Calix adds.

  “So, are you saying this is a three against one kind of thing?” I tilt my head so I can see them all from behind my hands. Before they can answer, I warn, “Because that would be a mistake. I’ve never asked for your permission, nor do I plan to.”

  “We are just concerned, Omnia.”

  “You’re concerned, I’m concerned. We’ll all be concerned together. You’re not leaving me here locked up with a babysitter while you guys go and solve all the problems,” I mock.