Some Kind of Monster

by Albany Walker

  “One of us would always be with you,” Calix offers.

  “Come on, guys. I’m dealing with enough. I don’t need you acting like the world would end if I stubbed a toe.” I’m starting to sound whiny, even to my own ears.

  “Fine.”

  “Fine?” Gunnar questions Grim’s statement.

  “Yes, fine. Damiana’s right. We should stay together; it’s best that way.”

  “Why are you giving in so easily now?” I can’t help but be suspicious of Grim’s complete about-face.

  “Because you are stubborn and would never stay put regardless.” Grim runs his hand over his torso. “I also find it very unsettling to think about you not being within sight.”

  “You find that a little off putting, do you?” Calix jabs at Grim’s formal tone.

  “It’s like you know me or something,” I praise Grim, giving him a huge smile. It doesn’t hurt that he admitted he doesn’t want to be away from me.

  “I guess I can answer this now that it’s been decided,” Calix mutters, pulling his phone from his pocket. “Yeah?” he barks. After a brief pause, he replies, “We’ll be there at sundown tonight.”

  I sit up a little. I was expecting that we would return to Savannah sooner than that, but there are still a few hours before this morning’s sunrise, so that means we have all day at home. “Yeah, everything is good…family stuff,” Calix adds, not sounding very happy that he’s explaining himself to whomever is on the line—Torin, I assume. He hangs up shortly after and tosses the phone on the table.

  “I’m going to shower, I bought us another day at home.” He stands up and stretches his neck from left to right.

  “Did he say anything about the witch?” I inquire, watching the way his shirt lifts just above the waistband of his low-slung jeans, giving me just a peek at the tanned skin under his bellybutton.

  “No.” Calix’s answer is short, as is his tone, like he’s upset. Before I have a chance to ask what’s wrong, he turns and heads out of the kitchen.

  “Are mood swings contagious during pregnancy?” I joke, looking at Gunnar and Grim.

  Gunnar snorts and leans back in his chair. “You don’t get why he’s pissed?”

  I raise my eyebrows. “I mean, I can guess. He doesn’t want me going back to Savannah.” I hope that’s all it is. He seemed fine about the whole becoming a baby daddy thing.

  “I think the fact that the wolf is damn near obsessed with you has more to do with it, my lady.” Gunnar gives me a droll look.

  Now it’s my turn to scoff. “Torin’s concern is for a pregnant female, it has nothing to do with me in particular.”

  “For his sake, let’s hope that’s true, because the Nemean has far more patience than I do.” Gunnar smiles, but it’s all sharp teeth and implied threats. I plant my elbows on the table and give him a goofy grin. I’m so easy—just a hint of violence on my behalf and I swoon.

  Grim draws my attention when he rises from his seat. His cloak, which is so dark it almost seems to absorb light, encases him as if it’s always just out of sight and waiting to be donned. I reach for his arm, wrapping my fingers around him like I might be able to keep him from leaving. “You’re going?” I whisper, half worried that another Charmed is calling him to be reaped, and half sad that I can’t keep them all to myself forever.

  “I won’t be gone long,” Grim assures me.

  “Is it…?” I don’t finish my question. It’s bad enough that I feel guilty for taking time from our hunt for the witch to deal with our new little issue, but I also know I did the right thing by telling them.

  “No, Damiana, it’s…”

  Before Grim can finish, someone speaks behind me. The voice has me snapping my head around. “Hello, Mouse.”

  “Boogey?” Just beyond the shadows, I can see his sharp white teeth and his claw tipped fingers. I haven’t seen him in years, not since I was a teenager. I rise from my chair slowly so I don’t spook him.

  I’ve never seen him anywhere but under my bed. He was one of the monsters that would still visit me when I was away at boarding school. I would lie in bed at night for hours talking to him. Even though I never really saw him, he was my first crush. How cliché. I was in puppy love with the monster under my bed. Secret whispers shared in the dark about how we wished things could be different for both of us. All he wanted was a life, to be able to walk around in the daylight, and all I wanted was to be accepted for what I was.

  Boogey needed things I couldn’t give him, like fear. Every once in a while, I would hear other girls from the dorm screaming in the middle of the night and I knew it was him grabbing a hand or foot that slipped out from under the covers. I wasn’t jealous really, but it made me feel like I was never enough.

  He didn’t follow me when I moved. I was sad, but I understood. The rumors of my dorm being haunted and cursed had grown so much since I’d been there, the place was feared by everyone on campus, not just the unfortunate souls who had to be housed there. I think he lived off the fear in the same way I dined on sins.

  “Been a while,” he mutters.

  I feel Grim’s long fingers wrap over my upper arm as he steps closer to my back. Boogey retreats a little farther into the shadows, but I can still make out his teeth. “Someone’s been recruiting at the school, Mouse.”

  “What?” I step forward a little, not wanting Boogey to disappear.

  “A witch, I hear the girls’ whispers.” His voice still sounds exactly the same, husky and dark, as if it’s made from the shadows themselves.

  “Tell us what you know,” Gunnar demands, now standing next to Grim. I grab his forearm tightly. I don’t want him to scare Boogey away.

  “Your legacy still fills the halls. None of us have forgotten you.” I see a black tongue whip out and curl around his teeth.

  “What kind of recruiting?” I prompt, hoping Gunnar will let me do the talking. Boogey may be terrifying to humans, but he’s always seemed very skittish to me.

  “Mostly he lies. Promising power if they join him. He says he’s the one who gifted you with dark powers.”

  “Antonio?” I look over at Grim, who is studying the darkness Boogey is hiding in.

  “I thought you should know.” Then softer, he adds, “Goodbye, Mouse.”

  “Wait!” I call out, and take a few steps in his direction, but he’s gone, disappearing into the shadows, leaving only his sad voice ringing in my ears.

  “I don’t like him,” Gunnar snaps.

  “You don’t like anyone,” I retort.

  “Well, I really don’t like him. And why did he call you Mouse? You’re about as far from a mouse as I am from being a kitten.” He gives me an accusatory glare.

  “You’d have to ask him, and since he’s gone…” I leave the rest hanging. “Do you think it was Antonio? I mean, nothing else would makes sense, but why would he be snooping around a school I haven’t been to in over ten years?”

  “Stranger still that he had a house right down the street from your parents,” Grim adds with a calculating look in his eye.

  “If he is the one snooping around the school, then who killed the Charmed in Savannah?” No one answers me, because no one knows.

  I hop up off the couch when the doorbell rings. “Got it!” I can already hear stomping feet on the stairs behind me, so I pick up the pace. By the time I rip the door open, I’m a little winded.

  “Goddamn it, Dami,” Gunnar growls. I grin because I love to piss him off, but it immediately falls when I see who’s at the door.

  “What are you doing here?” I lean against the doorframe, not inviting her in.

  Kim rolls her eyes as if she’s already praying for patience because she has to deal with me. “It is my house, you know.” Under her breath, she adds, “It’s bad enough I have to ring the fucking bell.” Her eyes go behind me, and I know Gunnar is standing a few feet away. “I need to speak with Torin.”

  I turn just in time to see Gunnar lift his hand in an invitation. “Do me a favor
and take him with you.” Torin’s presence is still a sore spot, even after a week of being back in Savannah. The fact that he seems determined to keep his distance from his pack while actively looking for a successor is the only reason I think Calix is tolerating him. He knows that if Torin just walks away, he will be the one who has to deal with the pack until someone can hold the position without being challenged.

  “Don Warren is here to see him,” Kim spits, as if the words taste bad in her mouth.

  “Don, that’s Calix’s friend, right? The one who kept going on about his sister?” Gunnar waggles his eyebrows at me. He gives just as good as I do and loves pissing me off just as much. I tip my nose in the air and pretend like I’m going to just walk past him, but instead I wrap my arms around his neck and jump on his back. Gunnar doesn’t miss a beat, and he loops his arms around my legs to help hold me up. “He’s in there taking up the entire couch with his fat ass,” he adds, as Kim steps past us.

  I chuckle. Torin really has put on some weight. He’s not fat by any means, but definitely much heavier than when we first met, which feels like forever ago now. We follow Kim into the living room. Torin is eyeing Samson, who’s doing a marvelous job of pretending no one else exists in the world until he sees me clinging to Gunnar’s back like a monkey. In my head, I hear him click his tongue. For a Hellhound, he’s quite regal, but for all I know they all are—I’ve only ever met him.

  I tap Gunnar’s shoulder, and he lets me slide down his back after bending his knees to make sure I’m closer to the ground. “Hey, Samson.”

  Hello, Damiana. Even the way he says my name sounds proud.

  “Another of her friends?” Torin asks behind me. Since we’ve been here, I’ve had a few baddies stop by. The wolf seemed most disturbed by the sea creature I call Melvin. He resembles a giant worm with fins and hundreds of rows of serrated teeth disappearing into a black hole of a mouth. Not that I’m judging the wolf. I guess Melvin could seem scary if you didn’t know him.

  Samson’s long, barbed tail flicks a few times as he watches Kim from across the room. She’s doing a good job of pretending not to notice him, but she’s in a room full of supernatural creatures, so it’s impossible to hide everything. Especially when her eyes keep darting in the hound’s direction. Is that interest I see?

  “Alpha.” She dips her chin in a respectful manner. “Alpha Don Warren is here to see you.”

  Torin taps his fingers on the arm of the couch then lets out a heavy sigh before rising to his feet. “You know him personally?” he asks Calix.

  Calix wets his lips then glances in my direction before focusing back on Torin. “Yes, he’s the one we talked about,” he confirms.

  Not wanting to ignore Samson, I step a little closer to him and plop on the floor. I was surprised to find you are still here, he remarks, speaking directly into my head.

  “Yeah, we haven’t had much luck finding the witch we came here for.” I lean back on my palms. “Is something wrong?”

  No, but Death is away.

  “Ahh, Grim sent you?” I smile.

  No one sends me anywhere, Damiana, but he did ask politely. Who is that? He doesn’t have to elaborate. I know who he’s asking about.

  “That’s Kim, the most uptight shifter I’ve ever met.”

  Samson tilts his head a bit and makes a slight humming noise. A wicked idea forms. I lean in a little closer and whisper, “You should tap that.”

  His red eyes dart to mine, and I’m pretty sure I see a spark of interest there.

  Unfortunately, Kim and Torin head out shortly after she arrives. Samson never really got the chance to speak with her. I’m willing to bet that will be the only time I ever think her leaving is unfortunate. He didn’t end up staying much longer himself, just long enough to check up on us.

  Calix leans back on the sofa, spreading his arms over the back, and lets out a long breath. “This is it. If Torin finds a reason not to relinquish his leadership over to Don, I’m going to assume he’s going to stay in control, and we can leave.”

  “Really?” I ask eagerly. Don’t get me wrong, Savannah is a beautiful place. I love how awake the city is all night long, and how the urban sprawl can’t quite take over the backcountry feel with all the park-like squares dotted through the city, but I want to go home.

  “Yeah, I don’t think we’re going to find Antonio here, and it’s time Torin decides what his future is going to look like. If we stay, we’re just enabling him not to take the next step.”

  Gunnar leans against the wall near us and gives a definitive nod. “Good,” is his only response.

  “Aeson will be happy,” I say, instead of admitting how relieved I am to know I could be sleeping in my own bed with a few of my fellas as soon as the morning. Aeson returned home a few days ago, realizing that being here wasn’t getting anything accomplished. We’ve all given up hope of finding the witch here at this point.

  “Just Aeson?” Calix smirks at me.

  “No, I think Dare probably missed me too.” Calix shakes his head at my answer, never losing the grin. “So now we just wait. How long do you think it will take him to decide?”

  “I don’t think it will take long. Did you see Torin’s face when Kim announced Alpha Don?” Gunnar’s brows are high on his forehead.

  “I didn’t notice anything unusual,” I admit.

  “I don’t think Torin’s quite ready to give it all up. He just needed a little time and some space to see that,” Calix explains.

  “That’s good though, right? Everyone in the pack seems to love him.”

  “He’s a good leader,” Calix answers, which I take as a yes.

  I toy with the inside of my cheek while gathering the courage to ask a question I’ve thought quite a lot about. “Is there a chance he could find another mate?”

  Calix’s hazel eyes grow very serious when he meets my gaze. “No,” he says emphatically. “Never another mate, but that doesn’t mean he won’t be happy or find love.”

  “But how can you be sure? I have three.” Gunnar shoves off the wall and makes his way over to the chair I’m sitting on, taking my hand in his.

  “I guess it could be a possibility,” Calix admits reluctantly.

  “I feel like there’s a but coming.”

  “If that were the case, Torin would already most likely know. It wasn’t an accident we all came to you at the same time. Call it fate, or what you will, but he would know,” Calix states solemnly.

  “So you’re saying I don’t have a number four and five out there somewhere?” I tease to lighten the mood.

  Gunnar breaks his quiet spell by growling and hauling me up against his body. I giggle. “I’m kidding. Even I couldn’t handle more of you.” I boop his nose.

  “Damn right!” he mutters with a scowl. He’s so adorable.

  The front door opens slowly. I sit up a little and end up spilling some of my yogurt on my shirt. “Damn it.” Using my finger, I scoop it off my boob and stick my finger in my mouth.

  “I got something you can swallow.” Gunnar leers at me.

  “By my count, you still owe me.” I make sure to give my finger a few more swipes just to show him what he’s missing.

  Torin makes an appearance in the doorway of the living room, his head down as he leans against the wall. I watch his chest expand as he draws in a heavy breath. “It’s time for me to take responsibility for my pack,” he declares, sounding a little sad but resigned.

  “You need them,” Calix replies, and it’s the first time anyone has mentioned that it’s not just the pack who needs their leader, but an alpha who needs their pack.

  Torin nods, acknowledging the words. “Thank you for stepping in and giving me time.” He almost seems embarrassed to say it.

  “You did all the work,” Gunnar tells him, and it’s easy to see the reluctant friendship that’s formed between the three men, even Grim, but he’s still not here.

  Torin looks over at me then averts his eyes. “Sometimes I still want to ru
n until I can’t remember, until I’m nothing but the animal.”

  “I know,” Calix murmurs.

  “But then I would have to forget her, and I just can’t.” I swear my heart breaks all over again for him when I see the sheen of tears clouding his eyes. I feel like an intruder, as if I shouldn’t be here while he’s sharing his soul.

  “It’s not fair, and it fucking sucks, but that’s the tradeoff. She’s worth the pain.” Calix doesn’t look away from Torin’s anguish.

  “She’ll be waiting for you.” I whip my head around to see Grim standing on the other side of the room. I can’t believe I didn’t feel his return.

  Torin’s face crumples, but he fights to keep the tears from falling. I wish I had something to say, some magical words that would ease his pain, but I can’t force a syllable past my lips. When I’m tempted to look away, I don’t, I watch as he takes a few precious moments and shores up the walls he’s built over the last several weeks, the ones that will allow him to function until it’s not so hard to remember his mate without feeling like he might fall apart.

  “Thank you again.” Torin dips his chin and looks at each of us in turn. “You are always welcome here. If you ever need anything, I’ll be there.” With that, he turns away and walks out of the house just as quietly as he entered, and I feel like we let him down.

  I look at Grim, knowing there are tears streaming down my face. “Isn’t there anything you can do?” I know the answer, but I have to ask.

  The Angel of Death walks over and kneels at my feet. “I cannot create, Omnia. I can only ruin,” he replies, as if he believes himself to be a failure.

  “That’s not true, Loverboy.” I feel the truth of my statement, and the lie that accompanied his. Reaching out, I take his hand and place it on my stomach, hoping he understands because words are just too hard right now.

  Chapter 21

  “This is a bunch of bullshit!” I toss my cards on the table. Uncle’s long, pointed fingers trail over the marbles, collecting his winnings. I rub my hand over my rounded belly and wonder how it is I haven’t won a game of cards in so long. It makes me think Uncle used to let me win.