A Cry For Hope (ARC)

by Beth Rinyu

  No, just been busy.

  I shook my head, trying to ignore the pain in my heart over his lame excuse. But I still wasn’t ready to give up on him. I sent a text back.

  I got a job! Super excited. Can’t wait to tell you all about it.

  I sat down on the ledge of the bathtub, feeling another dizzy spell. I really should have eaten before I attempted to get in the shower. I decided to take a bath instead. I turned on the warm water and poured in a capful of vanilla spice bubble bath. As I waited for the tub to fill up, I checked my phone to see if Nick had replied and, maybe, I had missed it. I sighed upon seeing that there was nothing. I undressed and immersed myself into the warm water, trying my best to forget about the cold shoulder that I was receiving from him. Soon, I would be working, making my own money and, hopefully, forging out a career path for myself. I was feeling a new sense of independence. I tried my best to concentrate on that instead of the fact that I had probably lost my best friend forever. I took a deep breath and rested my head against the bathtub wall, burying myself deep within the bubbles, trying to think of happy thoughts. I scooped up a handful of bubbles in my hand and blew them back in the tub, suddenly remembering the last time I had taken a bubble bath. Yeah, that was definitely a very happy thought.

  The crashing boom of thunder rattled the entire house while the lighting provided some temporary relief from the darkness. We had lost electricity about an hour ago and it still hadn’t come back. I was lying in bed with Charlie. He was terrified of thunder and lightning so I held him tightly until he fell asleep. I kissed him on the head and when he didn’t flinch, I knew that he was finally asleep. I quietly got up from his bed, not wanting to wake him. Jamie was supposed to be on his way home from a business trip. Since my cell phone had died and I had no way of charging it, I wasn’t sure if his flight had been delayed. I took my flashlight and headed down the hallway to my bedroom. Out of habit, I flicked on the light switch in my room and shook my head, reminding myself to never take electricity for granted again. I jumped at the loud crash of thunder, hoping that it didn’t wake up Charlie. My nerves were on edge as the branches from the huge maple tree just outside my bedroom scratched up against my window. I was hoping that Jamie’s flight had arrived safely and that he was okay driving in this. I picked up my cordless phone hoping, by some stretch of the imagination, that it would be working, but no such luck. I hated not being able to get in touch with him.

  I went into the bathroom and lit the candles sitting on the ledge of the tub, deciding to calm my nerves with a nice warm bubble bath. I undressed as the tub filled up with water and submerged myself into the foamy lavender-scented bubbles. I closed my eyes, trying my best to relax as the thunder continued to roll outside the bathroom window. I was so happy when I heard the front door open and Jamie heading up the stairs. I listened closely as he opened up Charlie’s bedroom door, before making his way into the bedroom, then the bathroom.

  “You made it!” I smiled up at him.

  “It’s a mess out there.” Even through the dim candlelight, I could see that he was drenched.

  “Well, since you’re already wet, do you care to join me?” I asked. He wasted no time undressing and climbing in behind me. I leaned my head back into his chest as he wrapped his arms around me and kissed me softly on the neck. Finally, I was able to relax.

  “I’m freakin’ beat,” he said. He had been working so hard these past few months between traveling for work and all of the home improvement projects he had taken on during the weekends. I was so happy that he didn’t have any more business trips scheduled for a while. I hated sleeping in my bed without him.

  “I missed you so much this past week,” he said as I planted tiny kisses up and down his arm

  “I missed you, too,” I reached up and gently caressed his cheek.

  “I’m going to show you how much I missed you later on tonight,” he whispered in my ear. I could feel my insides immediately yearning for him.

  I tilted my head back and looked up at him. “Why later on? It seems to me that you are in the perfect position to show me right now,” I teased.

  He leaned down and kissed me. “That sounds like a plan.” He moved his hands under the water and began to caress my breasts just as the electricity flickered on and a deafening roar of thunder rumbled outside, causing me to jump.

  “Mommy!” I heard Charlie scream from his bedroom. I immediately stood up to go to him.

  “I got him,” Jamie said quickly, getting up and wrapping a towel around his waist as he walked out into the bedroom, slightly closing the bathroom door. I watched through the crack in the door as he quickly slipped on his pajama bottoms.

  “Daddy,” I heard Charlie say as he reached our bedroom.

  “Hey, buddy. What’s the matter? Did the thunder wake you up?”

  “Yes.” Charlie began to cry. I slipped on my bathrobe and headed out of the bathroom to comfort him. I stopped myself when I saw that Jamie had it all under control. Charlie wrapped his arms around Jamie’s neck and rested his head on his shoulder as he carried him off to his bedroom.

  I finished drying off and got into my pajamas before going into Charlie’s room to see if Jamie needed help calming him down. I smiled when I saw the two of them sound asleep, their foreheads pressing up against each other, looking so alike. Even at four-years-old, it was apparent that Charlie was going to be a clone of Jamie. I covered them up with a blanket and placed a kiss on each of their cheeks. I couldn’t help but stare at the two of them for a little while longer. “Good night, my sweet boys,” I whispered, just before turning around and heading out the door.

  I was officially a photographer. Darren was keeping me busier than I could have ever imagined and I loved it! I was literally on the go from sunrise to sunset…the two best times for photos on the beach. The mornings were spent by the ocean, the evenings were spent by the bay and, in between, I would help out in the studio. I was in awe over his collection of vintage cameras. I was learning so much from him and I now knew more than ever that this was something that I definitely wanted to pursue as a career. I was so exhausted by the time that I would get home that the only thing I could think of was my head hitting the pillow, which didn’t afford me much time to dwell on anything else. It had been a week-and-a-half since I had sent Nick the text telling him about my job and I never got a response back. The hurt that I was feeling over his silence was now turning into anger. He had gone back on his promise to me. He had let that night come between our friendship.

  I took a quick shower and crawled into bed. I was just starting to drift off to sleep when my phone rang. I fumbled around on my nightstand and answered, not even bothering to see who it was.

  “Hello?” I answered, trying not to sound half asleep.

  “Hope. I’m sorry. Did I wake you up?” Suddenly my ears perked up and I was wide awake when I heard Jamie’s voice.

  “Oh… umm…no. I was just starting to fall asleep. What’s up?”

  “My dad is having surgery on his knee tomorrow. I’m going to be stuck in court all day so can you just check in with my mom in the afternoon and text me to let me know if everything is okay? I know that she doesn’t know how to text or I would just have her do it.”

  “Oh yeah, sure, no problem. Does your mom need me to be there?” I asked.

  “No, she said that my brother is going to meet her at the hospital, but thank you for offering.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  “Well, I’ll let you get back to sleep.”

  “Okay. Good night, Jamie.”

  “Good night, Hope.”

  I hung up and was now wide awake. I turned on the television and tossed and turned. Tomorrow was actually an easy day. Darren had only one photo shoot scheduled for early in the morning. He wanted to keep it light. He and his wife were leaving tomorrow afternoon to go away for the weekend, which meant that I had the weekend off. I would call Jamie’s mom after I was done and see if she
needed me to meet her at the hospital. I knew that his brother wasn’t the most dependable person in the world and I didn’t want her to be by herself. I flicked through the channels, finally deciding on reruns of Friends.

  I awoke the next morning to the sound of my alarm and TV blaring. I reached over to my nightstand to stop the dreadful beeping. Ugh, 4:45. As much as I hated getting up this early, I knew I had to because the sunrise wasn’t going to wait for me. I lifted my head from the pillow and could tell right away that I wasn’t feeling that great. I slowly sat up and rubbed my eyes. My head was hurting, my stomach was grumbling, and I still felt exhausted even after nine whole hours of sleep. I went to stand up and immediately sat back down when I felt a dizzy spell coming on. Once again, I had skipped dinner last night and my body was letting me know that it wasn’t happy about it. I got up again, this time bracing myself on the dresser. Once I felt confident that the dizziness had subsided, I went downstairs to make myself some breakfast.

  “Well, good morning, Sleeping Beauty!” my mother said as I entered the kitchen. “You were sound asleep by seven o’clock last night.”

  “Yeah, I know. This working for a living is exhausting,” I joked.

  My mother smiled and placed a plateful of eggs down in front of me. “What are these for?” I asked.

  “You, silly! I know for a fact that you haven’t been eating right. Now I want you to eat everything on that plate!” she demanded.

  “Mom, I’m not a bab -.”

  She stuck her hand up and shook her head, and I knew that I had no other choice but to eat the eggs. I told her my agenda for the day and how I planned on going up to the hospital to be with Kate if she needed me. Of course, I had to hear the lecture of how I needed to be careful driving up there. The traffic was going to be unbearable on a Friday, and I needed to call her the minute I got there and the minute I was leaving. I knew that she was only concerned about me, but sometimes it drove me crazy when she would treat me like I was ten. I cut her some slack because I’m sure I would have been the same way with Charlie once he had gotten older…if I had ever gotten that chance. My mother left for the bakery and I finished up eating before I headed upstairs to shower.

  I got to the beach just as the sun was beginning to rise. I was doing an engagement shoot and the couple that I was photographing arrived just in time to allow me some great shots of them with the beautiful sunrise as a backdrop. Darren showed up just as I was finishing. “Thank goodness for you, Hope. I overslept!”

  “Not a problem. I think I got some really great shots.” I handed him my camera and he scrolled through the pictures as the man and woman in the photographs stood over his shoulder to look at them, as well. I smiled to myself when I saw the giant smiles plastered across their faces. It made me so happy to know that I was creating happy memories for people.

  “She really does fantastic work,” Darren said to them.

  “I really don’t know how we are going to choose,” the woman said. “They all came out so perfect!” I could see the tears in her eyes.

  “I’m so glad you’re happy with them,” I said.

  “We’ll get them put on a CD. That way you can see them blown up on the computer. You can pick it up anytime on Monday,” Darren said.

  They both nodded and turned their attention to me. “Thank you so much! You have exceeded our expectations. Have a great weekend!” the woman said.

  “You are very welcome, and you, too.” I smiled.

  “Well, Hope, you’ve outdone yourself again, kiddo. The lighting, the backdrop, everything about these photos is flawless.”

  “Well, I did have a little help from Mother Nature. The sunrise was absolutely breathtaking this morning.”

  “Thank you for coming through again. Now, would you allow me to buy you a cup of coffee for the great job that you did?”

  “Sounds perfect!” I responded as I gathered up my stuff and we headed off the beach.

  After Darren and I finished up with our coffee, I called Jamie’s mother. She assured me that she didn’t need me coming today and that Jamie’s brother, Will, promised that he would be there. But I could still sense apprehension in her voice. I was able to find out from her which hospital he was going to be at and what time the surgery was scheduled for, and before I knew it, I was walking into the double doors of the OR waiting room. I looked around at the handful of people, finally spotting Kate sitting all alone, reading a book. “Hey there!” I said.

  She lifted her head and a huge smile appeared on her face. “Hope, honey, you didn’t have to drive all the way here!” she said, hugging me tightly.

  “It’s fine. I didn’t have any plans for today.” We both sat down and she took my hand in hers.

  “How have you been, sweetheart?”

  “Okay.” She looked at me as if she didn’t believe it. “Really, I am. I got this great job working for a photographer and I absolutely love it!”

  “Oh.” She raised her eyebrows, seeming somewhat disappointed. “Well, that’s kind of far away from home. What’s going to happen if….I mean, when you and Jamie finally get this all resolved?”

  I hadn’t given much thought to that because the truth was, even though it was what I wanted more than anything, I was losing faith that Jamie and I would ever get this resolved. He still loved me, or so he said, but until he could tell me that to my face and we could face our problems together, then it was pointless to even try. I had to take this first step toward my own independence and see what would happen from there.

  “Well, I guess I’ll have to figure that one out when the time comes. For right now, this is what’s making me happy.”

  She squeezed my hand tighter. “And you deserve to be happy.”

  “Thanks,” I whispered.

  I was so grateful when she finally switched topics and began to tell me about her husband’s surgery. She expressed her disdain over the fact that Jamie’s brother, Will, still was not there after promising her that he would be. Will was never on time and far from dependable. He was a great guy, but he was totally aloof to any familial commitments. He was a New York City firefighter and still very immature, even at thirty-two-years-old. I sometimes found it hard to believe that he and Jamie were even brothers. Their mother’s beautiful blue eyes seemed to be the only thing that they had in common. Will was so laid back that he lived for the moment, spent money like it was going out of style, and had no issues with telling anyone that would listen about his sexual escapades with the array of women in his life.

  “Mrs. McAdams?” Both Kate and I looked up when the nurse came out of the OR holding a clipboard. Kate stood up as the nurse walked over to her.

  “Mrs. McAdams, we’re having a hard time bringing your husband out of anesthesia.” I watched as all of the color drained from Kate’s face. I stood up and wrapped my arm around her. She was trembling and unable to speak.

  “What do you mean?” I said.

  “Well, his blood pressure has dropped quite a bit. Was he on any type of medications that he didn’t make us aware of?”

  Kate shook her head. I could see the tears pooling in her eyes. The nurse placed her hand on her arm. “We will keep you updated as soon as we know more, Mrs. McAdams.”

  I guided her back down into her chair and hugged her tightly. “This was supposed to be a simple in-and-out surgery,” she said as she began to cry. I was so glad that I had decided to come. I couldn’t imagine her trying to get through this alone.

  “It’s going to be okay. You know Doug. He always has to do something to make you crazy. I’m sure this is no different.” I was trying my best to lighten the mood but, deep down inside, I was just as scared as she was. It was now an agonizing wait. I couldn’t even imagine having to make that phone call to Jamie if something were to happen to his dad.

  “Mrs. McAdams.” We both lifted our heads. This time, it was another nurse who was standing beside us. “He’s awake and in recovery. We stabilized his blood pre
ssure and you should be able to see him within the hour.” We both exhaled deeply and gave each other a hug.

  “Oh, Hope, thank god you were here. I don’t know what I would have done if you weren’t.” She pushed my hair behind my ear and kissed me on the cheek.

  “Mom.” We both looked up as Will approached. He looked totally disheveled, like he had just rolled out of bed. I was quite certain that he probably did, but something told me that it wasn’t his bed and he, most likely, wasn’t sleeping. “Hey, Hopester. How’s my favorite sister-in-law?” he asked, leaning down and kissing me on the cheek.

  Kate shook her head in disgust. “You were supposed to have been here two hours ago!”

  He held up his hands in defense. “Geez, calm down! Can’t a guy oversleep? You get so dramatic over knee surgery!”

  I shook my head, hoping that he understood the signal that I was trying to send to him: Shut up, now!

  He gazed at me, then down at Kate, taking the empty seat on the other side of her. “Is everything okay?” he asked.

  “They had a hard time waking him up, but he’s okay now.” Tears gushed from Kate’s eyes.

  I quickly got up to get her a tissue, and immediately felt my knees giving out and the familiar ringing in my ears from another dizzy spell. I grabbed the chair and sat back down. I tried to not make it obvious, but it was too late. Kate and Will both looked at me with concern. “Hope, are you okay?” Kate asked.

  “Oh, yeah. Just got a little dizzy.”

  She creased her forehead. “Well, that’s not good.”

  “It just happens when I don’t eat. It’s not a big deal.” But I knew that was not the case right now, after eating that huge breakfast that my mother had cooked this morning. I wasn’t hungry at all.

  “It’s happened before?” She raised her voice in alarm.

  “Just a few times. I’m telling you, it’s my blood sugar going low. No need for panic,” I brushed it off.