My Stepbrother the Ultimate Collection (Five Complete Box Sets)
Page 51
When I turned my phone on, it was going crazy with text messages, emails, and missed calls. I ignored the ones from Kyle. Maybe one day I would go back and read them. I had texts from Rosie and my dad as well.
Dad: Where are you, Carrie? You're not at your moms.
There were a few more pretty close to those, only a little sterner with each one.
Rosie: I need you to call me, Carrie. Your dad knows you're not at your mom's house. Kyle is freaking out. He's talked to your father. Call me!
I let out a huge breath. Why the fuck would he call my father, I wondered? Rosie answered on the first ring. She never even said hello.
"Shit, Carrie," she began. "Your dad knows. Your mom called here. He was pissed and freaking out. He was going to call the police. I had to tell him where you went. Kyle was so upset when he called me. He said he went to the hotel and you were gone. He said you shut your phone off and weren't answering him. I asked him what happened. He said it had something to do with another woman saying shitty things to you. I told your dad that you went to say goodbye to Kyle and have some time to yourself. He doesn't know anything about the two of you. Kyle is a mess, Carrie. He tried to find you. I went to your apartment. Neither of us could figure out where you were. He's leaving. You can't let him leave not knowing that you're okay. He needs his whole head in the game while he's gone. Don't be selfish. I know you're upset. I understand why, but you have to think of everyone here. You cannot let him leave like this. He needs to know that you're okay. Don't do this to him, Carrie. I know you care about his safety."
"Okay," I said. "I'll figure it out. I'll text my dad. I'm sorry. I'll be home tomorrow."
She told me she loved me and let me go. I knew she didn't want my dad mad at her over everything, so I pulled up a text to talk to him.
Me: Sorry. I needed some time to myself. I went to say goodbye to Kyle before he left.
Dad: You could have told me the truth. Your mom called. I thought you were with her.
Me: I know. Sorry.
Dad: Did you get what you needed?
Me: Yes. I'll be home tomorrow. I'll talk to you then.
I was in shorts and a t-shirt. When I looked in the mirror, I saw how much the week had taken its toll on me. My eyes were red, and my face was puffy. I looked awful. My body fell back onto the bed, and I pulled the covers over me. Tomorrow, I thought. I would deal with it all then.
A pounding on the door brought me out of my sleep and my amazing dream of Kyle. Those were the only times I felt happy. I looked up at the ceiling. The pounding happened again. It was harder than before. Who would be there, I wondered? I knew my room was paid for. Maybe they had the wrong room. It happened a third time. They sounded like they were going to bust the damn door in. I threw back the covers and got out of the bed. My room was a mess. The clothes on the floor moved between my feet as I walked. I grabbed the door with a huff and swung it open.
"What the fuck," I yelled.
I looked up to see Kyle standing in front of me.
"It's not what you think," he said, as he stormed passed me into the room.
"How did you know I was here?" I asked.
"I tracked your phone," he said. "If you wouldn't have turned the fucker off, I would have been here days ago. This is the first time in five days that you've turned it on."
I rolled my eyes and sat down on my bed with my knees pulled up to my chin and my arms wrapped around my legs.
"I love you," he said.
I shook my head.
"No," I said. "You don't."
"Yes, I do," he said.
"Did you fuck her?" I asked.
"It's not like that. She's not my girlfriend. The guys told me what happened. She said that stuff to piss you off," he said, as he knelt down in front of me.
He looked so sexy in his military clothes. It was so hard to sit there and not rip them off. Yes, it was stupid. I still wanted him. The thought of him leaving still tore my heart in two.
"Did you fuck her?" I asked again.
"Yes," he said with his head against my knees. "I love you, Carrie."
"You are the only man I've been with, Kyle. I told you I was going to wait for you. I did exactly as I said. I've buried myself in work and school so I wouldn't think about you. It didn't work. I think about you every fucking day."
"I do love you, baby," he said. "I always will. I do not care about her. I messed up. It only happened a couple of times and that was before I ever did anything with you. I really didn't think we would be together. I never thought you would wait for me. I'm so sorry. I'm going to be gone a long time, and I am so fucking scared that I won't come back. I need my head in the game the entire time I'm gone. I have to keep my men safe. It's so damn hard for me to say this to you. I hope you know that. I want you to find love. You deserve someone that's going to be there when you need them. I need you to live your life. I don't know when or if I'm coming home. I have no idea what's going to happen over there. Promise me you're going to be okay."
I put my head down on my knees and thought. There was no way I wanted anything to happen to him because he was thinking about me. Rosie was right. I needed to stop being selfish. It wasn't about me. I would still be at home. He would be gone in some dangerous place. I didn't want him to worry about me. I needed to let him think I would be doing as he requested. There was no damn way I was. I was going to wait for him. I didn't care how long it was going to take.
"Carrie," he said, pulling me from my thoughts.
"Okay," I said. "I will. I have to talk to you. See how that works. I'm telling you something."
He let out a sigh and looked up at me.
"I need you to keep this between us. I'll tell my dad and Rosie when I'm ready and have it all figured out. I've had a lot of time to think this past week. I'm moving away from my dad's house."
He opened his mouth to say something, but I held up my hand to stop him.
"Don't say a word. I had to stand there and here all about how happy she makes you and how satisfied you are. Let me say what I have to say."
He nodded. I could see the emotion in his eyes. It took all I had to keep it together.
"You want me to live my life?" I asked.
"Yes," he said with a shaky voice.
"I need a fresh start," I said. "I can't be at my dad's house or in my apartment. There are too many memories of you there. If I'm going to do it, I need to do it alone. I'm going to get a job that has nothing to do with my father. I have money saved up. I'm going to find a place on my own. It's not going to be around the corner from him. I get that you don't want me. I'm fine with that. I'm going to do as you have asked, but I have to do it alone. You need to let me do my own thing."
"It's not that I don't want you, sweetheart," he said. "Please don't think that."
"It's not a problem, Kyle. I've been dealing with it my entire life. It's really not a big deal," I said.
I moved out of his reach on the bed.
"Shut my phone off. I won't be using it anymore. I will give you my number. My email will stay the same. I'll give you my new address when I get it. I still want to talk to you and know you're safe. I'm still going to send you stuff. I'll still care about you. That's not something I can just turn off. I will do as you ask, but you will let me do it my way. I can't have you giving me your opinion on things anymore. I'm not your responsibility. It's my life. I will not count on anyone, and I do not want anyone to count on me. I've said that ever since I can remember. I'm going home tomorrow. I will stop and get a new number on the way home. Please email me as soon as you can when you get where you're going."
He nodded.
"You need to go," I said.
He stood up and walked to the door. When he turned around, I could have sworn I saw tears in his eyes. When he reached out and pulled me into his arms, I bit my bottom lip to try and keep the tears away. I needed to be strong just for a few more minutes.
"I do love you, baby," he said. "You deserve a great life."
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br /> I hugged him tight before pulling away.
"I love you too," I said. "I'm glad you won't be alone. Be careful out there. We need you to get home safe."
I closed the door and fell onto the bed. It was going to be okay. I was going to live my life while he was gone. That was what he wanted. I could do it. Nothing was going to stand in my way. It was going to be me against the world.
My Stepbrother the Military Man #4
One Year Later
You're not going to believe what happened the following year. It was a very crazy and emotional time for all of us.
It was hard to leave the hotel the next morning knowing I wouldn't see him again. Not the way I wanted to anyway.
I picked up a new phone on my way home. As soon as I got back to the apartment, I text him with my new number and let him know it would be my last time using his phone. He didn't need to know I was keeping the phone, just not the service. There was no way I was losing three year's worth of pictures and memories of him.
The first week was really hard. I was used to communicating with him any time I wanted. At times we talked more than once a day. My apartment was spotless by the time I started classes and got back to working. I made sure my class schedule was packed. There wasn't going to be any time left to think about him.
A month went by, and I was back into the flow of classes and work. It was more than I thought, but I was okay with that. It gave me even less time to think. Once I had a routine down, I decided it was time to begin my fresh start.
Kyle emailed me to let me know they were leaving and it would be a bit before he would be able to communicate again. I knew all of our communications were going to be through email from then on. I wished him luck and let him know I was going to miss him. Rosie tried not to tell me about times she talked to him. I did notice that she had been talking to him way more since I had stopped. It felt strange not sending pictures or joke each day. My life was dull and boring without him in it.
I began my search for a new job. It was hard since I had loaded myself down with school. I needed to find one to work around that until January. It didn't make it any easier that I didn't want my dad to know I was looking. I would like to say I did it on my own and he had nothing to do with it, but I would be wrong. My father was a well-known businessman. I found a company I really wanted to work for. As soon as they found out who my father was, they told me they would work around my schedule.
My apartment hunt began. I knew where I would be working, so that narrowed down the area. It was five hours away from my dad's house. Rosie wasn't going to be happy about that. She needed to understand there were too many memories of Kyle there for me. I found the perfect place, and it was in my price range. Without anyone knowing, I signed the lease. Everything was set.
I was still going to dinner every now and then at my dad's house. The Sunday after I signed the lease was my perfect opportunity to break the news. Rosie asked what I wanted to eat. Of course I wanted my favorite spaghetti. I decided not to email Kyle anything right then. He already had so much going on. My dad and Rosie were the two I was worried about.
We sat down to dinner and began talking about everyday stuff. As soon as dinner and dessert were over, I looked over at my dad.
"I need to talk to you and Rosie about something. Do you have a few minutes?" I asked.
"Of course," he said. "Is everything okay?"
I nodded and went to the kitchen to get Rosie. When we walked into the dining room, Laura was gone from the table. I was relieved. There was no way I wanted to speak in front of her. Rosie sat down on the seat next to me. My hands were shaking and I felt sweat beginning to form on my forehead.
"I wanted to tell you both this together," I said.
I took a deep breath in and out. Rosie reached over and took my hand in hers.
"I'm moving five hours away," I said, as I heard my dad growl and Rosie gasp. "Let me finish before you speak. This is hard for me to say. I want a fresh start for myself, and I want to do it alone. I don't want to work for my dad or have you find me a job. I wanted to get the job myself, and I already have. I've also found an apartment and signed a lease. I feel bad for not telling either of you. I hope you understand and can forgive me. I just needed to do it for myself."
Rosie remained silent.
"I'm proud of you," my dad said. "I really am. You found a job on your own and found your own place. I'm not happy that you will be five hours away. I will worry about you, but I believe in you. You are going to do amazing things for yourself, Carrie. I know you are. I will help you in any way you want me to. I understand that it is important that you do it for yourself. I need you to tell me what you need and when you need it. Promise me you'll ask for help if you need it."
"I promise," I said.
"When do we move you?" he asked.
"You're not mad?" I asked. "I won't be working for you anymore."
"I'm not happy about losing you. The work you did for me was amazing. I'm happy that you want more for yourself. I'm proud of the woman you're becoming."
"I'm hiring a moving company. I'll be in my new place in two weeks. I do have one thing I need," I said.
"Anything," he said.
"You said when I was eighteen that you were going to buy me a car," I said, and he nodded. "I kept the one I had. You said to let you know when I was ready for a new one. I'm ready."
"No problem," he said. "We can go tomorrow."
Rosie squeezed my hand tight. She knew why I had kept Kyle's car. As soon as my dad left the table, she pulled me into the kitchen.
"What is going on?" she asked.
"Kyle wanted me to live my life. I can't do that here. There are so many memories. I need a clean start, so I found a job and a place."
"It's five hours away," she said.
"I know," I said. "You know I got a new phone. We can talk all the time. I hope you'll come and visit me. I'm going to be swamped between work and school until after the holidays. I'll be back for Christmas. I'm going to take another full load starting January as well. I want to graduate as soon as I can."
"Of course I'll visit, Carrie," she said. "Are you sure about the car?"
"Fresh start," I answered. "Have you heard from him?"
"No," she said. "Not since he left. Are you sure this is what you want?"
"It is," I said. "It's me against the world. I can do this. I don't need him, and he certainly doesn't need me."
I was relieved that they had both taken it so well. Since I hadn't heard from Kyle, I didn't have to tell him.
A second month passed, and I was ready to start my new job. My apartment was awesome. They had an even nicer pool than the last place and the rent was cheaper. My income was more than it was for my father. I'd even gotten a moving allowance. I knew things would be different, but it was going to be worth it.
The hardest thing I had done was trade in Kyle's car. It was the only thing I had left of him. My dad tried to talk me into something sporty, but I didn't want to deal with gas. I ended up with a nice, conservative car. I wanted to be a businesswoman, and I wanted to be taken seriously. There was a picture on my phone. I thought about emailing it to Kyle but decided not to.
My dad and Rosie both approved of my new place. That made me feel great. I took tons of pictures of it right after I moved in.
Every night I checked my email. I just wanted to know that he was safe. It made me feel so bad for the spouses of the men and women with him. I couldn't imagine how they felt. Most of them had children at home. I knew how bad I was freaking out. We were nothing basically.
One night, I opened my email and jumped out of my seat. There was one from Kyle. I couldn't wait to open it. The tone of his email wasn't very happy. He was letting me know he was okay and would be able to communicate. It wouldn't be nearly as much as before. I wouldn't let it be. There was a picture attached. My heart dropped when I saw it. He was in full gear, but there wasn't a smile on his face. I couldn't make out very much of the backg
round. I wanted to hug him or do something to let him know how much we missed him. He needed to keep his mind on his work. I didn't want to send a sad email. That wouldn't help him. I decided to send one just like I would have before. I wanted to send him a normal, everyday email as if he were only down the street.
Kyle,
So much has happened since you left. I got a new job and a new apartment. The pool's even better than the old one. You know I like that. I got the job on my own. My dad didn't even know. He doesn't know that they were all in once they found out who I was. Don't tell him. I don't want him to think it was because of him.
Rosie wasn't very happy but she's adjusting. They both helped me move. She said she'd come and visit. I told them I'd be home for the holiday. The new job is going to work around my classes. They are online, so it's not so bad. I'm working my ass off. You know my motto. It's me against the world.
I hope your friends are keeping you company. Tell the guys I'll send you something as soon as I can. Is there anything you need? How do I have to send it?
Rosie misses you. She sounded sad that she hadn't heard from you. I'll let her know you emailed me.
My place is five hours from my dad. He wasn't happy about that either. I think he's already over it though. I start the new job in a week. There's a whole background check thing they are doing. I have to go take a drug test. No problem there.
I'm attaching a picture of my new car. Yep, I did it. That was the hardest thing I've had to do in a long time. I'm also sending a picture of my apartment.
I can't wait to hear back from you. I miss you so much. Hope they're treating you guys good. Be careful out there. We all need you back. Talk to you soon.
Love,
Princess Carrie
I attached two pictures. Neither of them had me in them. I was careful about that. I had told him I wasn't doing that anymore. I needed to keep my mind on moving ahead.
I figured since I needed to get a drug test, I might as well get an entire physical. It had been a few years since I'd had one. I was still on my dad's insurance, so I decided to use it one last time. I was getting ready to start a new chapter in my life and couldn't have been more excited. That wasn't completely true, but that was how I was portraying myself to everyone. Inside I was a mess. It was a good thing nobody could see that part of me. Kyle would have been the only one to know I was full of shit, and he wasn't there.