Falling for Ava

by Pamela Ann

  “You still look like the girl I fell in love with all those years ago,” he started saying as his fingers caressed the side of my hips while his lips left tracks against my shoulder blades. “It’s unfortunate I can’t love you the way I used to. Everything is too late for us. Don’t ever fancy yourself falling in love with me. It’ll only ever hurt you.”

  His words struck me hard, leaving me hurt while he tried to ease the pain with his kisses. Did he know I was awake and that was why he thought giving me a warning whilst softening the blow would make things easier for us? What if I told him that it was much too late, that I was in love with him? Would it make a difference? Somehow, I believed it would make him run, avoiding me like the plague. It was best if I kept that secret to myself, or I might end up regretting driving him away. Once was enough. I doubted I’d survive being excluded from his life for a second time.

  I fell asleep with my troubled thoughts leading the way. Even though he was holding me close, breathing evenly against my neck, the sweet gesture brought little comfort after his words had ingrained themselves into my mind, burning into my soul, leaving me empty and hollow and utterly incomplete.

  Hours passed, and I woke up in the same position, with him spooning me from behind. Slowly glancing at the time, I almost choked on my saliva when I saw it was one in the afternoon. “Reiss, wake up!” I tapped him on the shoulder a few times before he started to grumble in protest. “It’s one p.m., and you’re bloody late for work!”

  He said something inaudible before his hands reached for me, pulling me back against his hot, hard body. “The world will survive without me for a day,” he softly whispered behind my ear, just as I felt his cock slowly growing against my bottom.

  “You can’t be getting randy when you’re late for work!” I reprimanded him, even though my body was in tune with his, readily responding.

  “Of course I’m randy … I’m next to you.” He grinned as he shifted me onto my back while situating himself above me. “Open those glorious legs, love. I need you … desperately.”

  “Don’t you even care that you’re not at work?” I found myself smiling as I gazed at him, temporarily banishing the words of warning he had spoken last night.

  Bringing his face to mine, I softly kissed him. After a few minutes, we broke apart, feeling as if we were back to the old us. My left hand reached out to touch his chest, wanting to trace it, when something caught me off guard. My wedding ring had disappeared, replaced by another ring.

  Staring at it wildly, I disentangled myself from Reiss as I placed my hand before me, clueless as to what was going on. “Reiss, my wedding ring … it’s gone.” Panic seized me as I looked at him, uncertain what to think. Without that familiar ring, I felt naked.

  He suddenly had this serious expression. “I took it off last night, replacing it with the ring I chose for you.”

  “What?” I shrieked. “Why would you do that? Can you please give it back?”

  “You still don’t like any ring I get you, it seems. I guess some things just don’t ever change.”

  His stony expression made me gaze at the ring. His ring.

  “But, I haven’t said yes …” The words echoed around me as I admired the beautiful, antique sapphire setting with a diamond eternity band. As if being proposed with a fake marriage wasn’t humiliating enough, the beautiful ring made me feel gaudy, like I was temporarily filling someone else’s spot.

  “I see. Of course you wouldn’t marry me.” He shrugged as though he didn’t care one way or the other as he slowly slid off the bed, gloriously naked with his morning wood protruding proudly. He went to the coffee table across the bedroom before returning to me with Ashton’s ring. “Here. I meant to give it back to you when you woke, but I got distracted.”

  Taking the ring out of his hand, I murmured a small thank you. Then I watched while he started to stride towards the bathroom, making me suddenly feel ill because I knew he was going to leave. He felt like I was rejecting him, but it wasn’t him that I was rejecting; it was the manner in which he had proposed that I didn’t agree with.

  “You’re leaving, aren’t you?”

  “I am. I have to go see your father and tell him that we’re not—Well, you’re not going through with it. The lawyers need to be told … and I need to get away.”

  I could hear the shower being turned on, and I launched off the bed, not bothering to cover myself as I went inside the bathroom, gripped by the fear that I had already lost him.

  “So that’s it, then?” I half yelled at him just as he was about to get into the shower.

  The man who had been smiling down at me less than ten minutes ago was long gone. “What’s it, Ava?”

  “You fuck me until you’re sick of it, and then you just leave.” Hurt had triggered my words, but I kept it hidden, only showing him my anger.

  “I’m leaving because I have to!” His face contorted as he hungrily roved his eyes all over my body. “I’m leaving because…” He took a deep breath, lost for words. “Maybe because you’re being bloody insufferable, walking in here stark naked. Fuck!” he growled as he yanked me towards him, capturing my lips as he lifted my body and situated me on the marbled countertop before he stepped in between my legs, never letting go of my lips.

  “Just one more. I swear I’ll leave you be,” he hissed as if he was asking for permission. “Just one more …” He barely finished saying the words before he hurriedly drove himself into me. “Your cunt is my drug. I can’t get my fill of it. God help me, I just fucking can’t.”

  “Don’t stop,” I moaned, begging for him to continue. “Pound me harder…”

  “Don’t talk dirty, or I might not last long,” he warned as I clung to him harder, more eager for him to do as he pleased.

  “I don’t care, just, please, fuck me. I need to feel all of you.”

  He stopped, cupping my face with both hands as we panted at each other. “Say you’ll marry me.”

  Not again. “Reiss—”

  He shook his head before placing his thumb on my lips, shushing me. “Marry me, and I’m all yours.”

  What did he mean by all yours? Like he’d grant me my wish by shagging me senseless until I’d satisfied my urges … or he was all mine forever, as my husband, my partner for life? Somehow, I had a feeling that he meant the first one, although hearing him say those words had made me feel dizzy.

  “Ava?”

  “For how long?” I heard myself say. “For how long do you want us married?”

  “Until you decide to divorce me.” There was a new determination on his face, making me even more drawn to him.

  Could I do it—marry him and pretended that I didn’t love him to distraction? Could I turn a blind eye to his sex life and focus on him wanting to be a good father? Maybe … for however long I could endure it.

  “Okay, I’ll do it.”

  “Say it louder, Ava. I can’t hear you,” he teased just as I felt his hand reach for my left hand then onto my ring finger, making sure the ring was still there.

  “I said I’ll marry you.” Smiling though my heartbreak, I let his touch cure a little of the pain that wracked my body. “I’ll marry you.”

  “Christ, stop gripping my cock like that,” he protested with a little thrust of his hips. “Don’t stop telling me, love. I want to keep hearing you say it. I want to hear it until I’m deaf from you screaming into my ears.”

  And so I did. I chanted my promise to him as he took my body to new heights, riding along the waves of my ecstasy as he spilled his seed into my womb. Hissing my name out, he took a bite of my shoulder right where it connected to the base of my neck, making me scream into oblivion as I came again on his raging cock that still kept spilling semen into my depths.

  I love you, I thought painfully as he hungrily kissed me, almost making me believe he, too, felt the same, that he was just as in love with me as I was with him.

  *

  “How long before my divorce from Ashton takes place once e
verything is signed and submitted?” Glancing at Reiss as he tapped on his phone, I was hoping he’d know more because I had no idea what to do from here. Earlier on, he had mentioned that my father had everything handled, but since I wasn’t speaking to my father just yet, Reiss would have to be the one I bothered with all these divorce-related questions.

  “Hmm?” he responded, clearly distracted by whatever it was he was doing.

  I sighed, feeling as though I was an absolute nuisance. “Never mind. Well, actually, I was wondering if you wanted to go somewhere to have dinner.” We’d been staying in all day, and I felt the need for fresh air.

  “Sorry, but I can’t. I promised my mother I’d take her somewhere tonight. Besides, I have to give her the update that she’ll soon be a grandmother.” He smiled, reaching out to touch the loose hair on the side of my face.

  His mother … damn.

  “How are Marie and your father? I hope all is well.” I hadn’t really spent much time with them when I had been seeing Reiss back in the day. I supposed we had been so bent on keeping our relationship a secret I didn’t really bother with any relationship to either of them.

  “They’re both well and retired. My father developed a severe back problem after he fell off the ladder whilst trimming bushes that were ten feet high. I was in university at the time, so I couldn’t possibly support them then. He had kept on working, enduring his pain to support mum and him. But the second I graduated, I gave them my first paycheck. And, from then on, I started giving them about half of it since I really didn’t need much to survive. They were old and I was young; I could make that small sacrifice just so they could stop working. It was my turn to take care of them, and I haven’t backed down from that promise.

  “At first, my mother wasn’t quite keen on taking my money since I had barely started working and was only getting paid at the minimum, but I convinced her otherwise. They’ve done enough for me. Besides, my parents were my purpose behind all the hard work, all the late nights, and lack of sleep. I did it to ensure their retirement as much as my future.

  “I see mum at least once a week and my father, as well, on the occasion that he’s willing to drive to London. But we do get together as a family once or twice a month.”

  My heart swelled at his speech, imagining him working rigorously in hopes that he would soon support his aging parents. He was a good man, and our child was blessed to have him as a father.

  “Your parents are quite lucky to have you as their son. You love them with all your heart, uncaring about the sacrifices you’ve made for them. Others your age would have splurged their first pay on partying or shopping. You’re a brilliant man. I’m sure most people tell you that, but I want you to hear it from me. You are…” I whispered before getting up from the couch to reach across the opposing seat and giving him a grand hug. “You’re going to be a brilliant father, Reiss. I just know it.”

  “You think so?” He gave me a doubtful look. “It’s daunting to think about it. The world is such a bitter place to be in. One mistake could finish a man. I hope I will guide my child to make better decisions in life. The thought of failing at being a parent makes me tremendously nervous.”

  “I have those fears, too. I’m sure it won’t be a walk in the park; I can guarantee you that. If it’s a girl, we’d better brace ourselves for the adolescent stage where everything she’s feeling will be much more intense because her hormones will be going haywire, and she’ll most likely be confused for a while, searching for her ‘identity’—for what truly defines her. Not to mention the fact that we might have to sit her down for the birds and the bees kind of talk, which would truly be a hardship. And, if it’s a boy, the endless college parties and the throng of women, the influence of peer pressure, being inebriated along with drug use.” I let out a frustrated sigh, frowning as I looked at him. “The list could go on. You’re right, this bloody thing is really daunting.”

  “Cheers, love. Glad you’re seeing the big picture.” Placing an arm around me, he pulled me closer to his body. I then rested my head against his shoulder, imagining the future. “I must tell you, though, if it’s a girl, I’ll make sure no boy will come snooping when she’s of age. I’ll hound them until they’ve buried themselves inside their closets. No boy would make my baby their practice meat, not a bloody chance in Hell.”

  Slapping his chest, I applied pressure to push myself to see his face. “I was practice meat?”

  “No, of course you weren’t.” He paused, eyes fully wicked on me. “But, I dare say practicing with you was extraordinary.”

  Extraordinary.

  Hmmm. “I like that. I think that truly defines what you and I were back then.”

  “How about we do one more practice before I head out to see mum?” he murmured, nipping my nape all the way towards the back of my ear.

  “Tempting,” I giggled, feeling like a hopelessly in love idiot. “But I’ll take a rain check until I see you next. You’ve exhausted me. My vagina needs to recharge for a bit if you don’t mind, thank you very much.”

  “I’ll definitely be back for a rain check. Count on it.” He winked at me before he attacked me on the sofa, kissing me towards oblivion.

  Chapter 22

  Ava

  The next day, I went to meet Ashton for lunch. I hadn’t seen him in days, and frankly, a part of me was worried about how he was doing. Ten years of marriage, living with him as his wife, had made it my second nature to wonder about him. I supposed we both were going through the motions of letting each other go.

  Whatever it was my father had said to him, it had done its job. I guessed there was one thing my father had done right. Apart from that, however, I was still cross about his meddling with Reiss and making his future grandchild being a bastard an excuse to save face because, if word got out that I was carrying someone else’s child, the gossipmongers would have a field day bashing our family. I cared less about their snotty indignant opinions than my mother; it meant the world to her. Someday soon, I would face him, and I wouldn’t hold back directing how livid I was at him making me believe Reiss was dead and all the secretive measures he had taken to ensure Reiss was kept away from me.

  Arriving at the restaurant Ashton and I had agreed upon, I banished all my thoughts about my father and Reiss, hoping I could fully put all of my attention to Ashton and arranging what needed to be done for the divorce. Obviously there were assets in question.

  I had enough from my trust fund to last the baby and me for a lifetime since I had paid heed when the financial advisor had suggested I reinvest the money that I had inherited from my grandparents. Thanks to his brilliantly sound advice, the reinvested money generated monthly dividends to support me.

  Apart from taking my own money with me, Ashton could have the rest. Besides, it was mainly his money that had bought most of the assets we had together; thus, it made perfect sense for him to keep them all.

  When I informed the hostess that I was meeting someone, she kindly took my name and informed me Ashton was already here and waiting.

  “Let me show you to your table,” she offered, ready to lead me.

  “Thank you, but I think I can navigate my way,” I kindly declined her offer before I strode towards the dining area, scouting for the familiar face that made me feel wretched for breaking his trust and love. The things was, I wouldn’t have broken it if it weren’t for Reiss. He was the one, and I had no sense of control when it came to him. He was my kryptonite—my Achilles’s heel—a weakness. He was the Camilla Parker-Bowles of our marriage, and even though I felt remorse and shame, this wretchedness that wouldn’t ebb away until I was with Reiss couldn’t be ignored.

  I had spent years and years daydreaming, wishing and hoping, thinking it could never be, because the man was dead. However, all of those fancies had been brought forward the moment I had found him again, making it impossible, not to mention how unbearable it would be, to walk away from my fate. Any person who chose to walk away from what they were destine
d to live would forever be doomed. The damnation didn’t come right away, though. It trickled slowly in as it softly drained you out, taking your happiness and hope until any sort of positivity you had in your soon ebbed away, just like a receding tide. You’d be the fish, thrashing and spattering, wondering how to survive without water. With nothing to rescue you, you’d lie on the wet sand, staring, unable to breathe, hoping something could save you from dying. Yet nothing would come to rescue you, and therefore, you would wait … and wait … breathing as much as you could, though not really living. You stayed that way, hopelessly paralyzed as you watched the time pass you by, waiting for the moment your suffering would end.

  That had been me not too long ago because I had made an unmistakable error and denied my fate what it was destined to have. Second chances didn’t come often, and when you were granted the opportunity, no one in their right mind would even think twice before they embraced it. This was me, embracing it even though I had no clue if I was doing the right thing or not. My heart was telling me that it was, yet my mind… Well, it was fickle.

  However, it was of no matter since I knew the consequences of what one could go through after paying heed to their mind. I was trusting my heart and its instincts, knowing that, deep down, this was the right thing—the best thing—to do.

  Spotting Ashton’s table, I made my way towards him. Halfway through, I saw him stand up, his face breaking into a smile with his arms wide open, ready to give me a big hug.

  “Ava,” he said the second his arms closed around me. One word, yet so much emotion was invested in it.

  For a while, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, memorizing Ashton’s smell and how it felt to be in his arms. My throat started constricting as I fought back the tears. Parting from him was going to be hard—I knew that—but going through the motions was simply twice as hard. He was a good man and a great husband who made sure I would want for nothing. But we weren’t working out any longer, and I must make things right again by setting him free as I should’ve done a decade ago. I had been a coward, though, miserable with my life and the colossal mistake I had made by throwing Reiss away. I had hidden behind my pain and hoped that Ashton could cure me of everything I had been going through. He had been my Band-Aid, the man who’d tried to give me everything. It was tragic to go through letting go, especially breaking a unity such as marriage. However, it was time—high time—to set us free.