Breathe

by Lila Kane

  It mirrored the rest of the place, with dark wooden stalls and a few plush ottomans off the side for sitting. The music was quieter but still gave off a dance club vibe. I went to the bathroom and then stepped up to one of the sinks. I looked a little tired, but mostly just…alive. Like I was easing into my life here, and it was working for me.

  Or was that Finn who was working for me? Despite how much I hated having him involved in the mess of my life, I didn’t know what I would have done on my own. Before coming here, I was keeping my distance from Mark, but I wasn’t living. At least now, I felt like I really might have a future.

  When my phone rang in my purse, I frowned. Everyone who’d think to call me was outside in the restaurant. Pulling it out, I remembered my sister and mother. They were in my life now, too. And if it was one of them, I didn’t want to miss it.

  Unknown caller.

  My stomach jumped. I turned from the mirror as the phone continued to play music. My heart thudded in my chest. There wasn’t anyone else in here. No cameras. I was safe. Dustin was just outside the door.

  The call ended. I touched up my lipstick. The phone started ringing again.

  My fingers shook, poised over the answer button. I couldn’t be scared forever.

  I pressed the button and said, “Hello?”

  “Charlotte.”

  My name was like a caress on his lips. I backed to the counter, gripping the ledge. “Mark?”

  “I’ve missed you.”

  Heart hammering, I walked to the door. As my hand closed on the handle, I heard his voice again. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

  My hand froze and my eyes flashed to the ceilings, the dark corners of the room, and finally the mirrors. Hadn’t John said there were cameras behind the mirrors? But in the bathrooms, though? Could Mark see me right now somehow?

  Oh my God, oh my God.

  “Charlotte,” Mark said again, his voice breathy and deep. “I only need a moment.”

  “What do you want?” I whispered.

  “A second chance.”

  The same thing Finn said when I came back here. But Mark didn’t say it in the same way. Not an ounce of hope in his voice. More like possessiveness, like he already knew he’d get what he wanted.

  I put steel into my voice and curled my fingers around the door handle again. “Mark. You need to stop calling me. You need to leave me alone.”

  “I don’t want to do this the hard way,” he warned. “Let’s talk. Let’s figure this out.”

  “There’s nothing to figure out—”

  “Charlotte,” he taunted. “You don’t want to do this hard way. Trust me. You don’t want someone to get hurt. Not that pretty blond neighbor of yours. What if she had an accident? Fell down the stairs and broke her neck?”

  Fuck. My blood turned to ice. Images of Paige lying at the bottom of a staircase, her face pale and neck twisted ran through my mind.

  My voice shook. “Mark, you can’t…”

  “And I won’t if you keep this between you and me. We need to talk. We need to work through things.”

  I jumped back when someone pushed the door open and walked through. The woman gave me a curious glance but didn’t say anything.

  “Sorry, sorry,” I murmured, moving out of the way so I wouldn’t block the door again.

  She vanished into a stall, and I clutched a hand at the blooming pain in my chest.

  “I’ll be in touch,” Mark said on the other end.

  Words clogged my throat. Would he see if I walked out to Dustin right now and told him what was going on? Or if I ran to Finn?

  As if reading my mind, Mark said, “You keep this between you and I and no one will have any unfortunate accidents.”

  I pulled the door open with a shaky hand.

  “And Charlotte?”

  “What?” I whispered.

  “You be very careful with that man of yours. He’s only after one thing—and that thing is mine.”

  With a sob lodged in my lungs, I ended the call. Not paying attention, I almost bumped into Dustin.

  “Ms. Evans?”

  My gaze flashed to his, reading kindness and concern there.

  “Are you okay?” he asked. He peered behind me to the bathroom.

  “Yes,” I managed. When he didn’t seem convinced, I put more strength into my voice. “Yes, I’m fine. I ran into that woman in the bathroom and she wasn’t very happy about it.”

  His eyes searched mine and then lifted to scan the hallway again. I gave him a wobbly smile and started back to the table. My friends laughed loud enough I could hear them from tables away. I tried to force a look of calm. Tried to infuse life into my body again.

  When I saw Paige, a wide smile on her face, my stomach twisted. I couldn’t risk letting her get hurt. And Finn. I couldn’t tell him anything. Mark would know somehow, wouldn’t he? The cameras were everywhere, and somehow he could see what was going on.

  Finn slid out of the booth again when he saw me. When he reached for my hand, I evaded, worried Mark’s eyes were on me right now. To soften the blow, I cast him a quick smile and returned to my seat.

  “You’ll eat cheesecake, won’t you, Charlotte?” Leslie asked.

  “Sure,” I murmured, reaching for my wine. I downed the rest of the glass. “What else?”

  “Chocolate cake, carrot cake,” Tucker said. He smiled. “They ordered one of everything on the menu.”

  I could feel Finn’s eyes on me, feel the heat of his body next to mine. His hand brushed my knee. Under the table, I clasped his fingers in mine, desperate for that contact. Suddenly afraid this was the last time I would have it.

  “Would you like another?” he asked, gesturing to my glass.

  “Yes, please.”

  The waitress returned again to fill our glasses and deliver dessert, and I was pretty sure ours was the only table she was waiting on this evening because she was there whenever I looked up or whenever Finn mentioned we needed something else.

  I had more wine and soon started to relax. Thought maybe I could keep the secret until I figured out what to do. I couldn’t talk about it here, I knew that for sure. Mark had eyes in the restaurant. But at home…inside my apartment? Or even better, Finn’s? If I could get to a safe space, I could tell him. Or I could track Curtis down and figure out how to tell him.

  That’s what I’d do. I’d tell Curtis. He would know what to do. He’d figure this out and Finn wouldn’t have to know. Paige wouldn’t have to know. No one would get hurt.

  We returned to the Housing Community as a group, some of us weaving our way through the Commons because we had a few too many glasses of wine. But in my alcohol-induced haze, I felt more confident about my plan. I had to keep people safe, and if that meant keeping my mouth shut, so be it.

  At the elevators, I found Dustin and quietly asked him to see Paige to her apartment.

  “I’m sorry, Ms. Evans, but I need to stay close to you.”

  Finn’s smile had an edge when he looked at me. “We’ll go together.”

  And in that moment, I knew he was suspicious. We said goodnight to the rest of the group and took Paige to her apartment, where I made her swear to keep her door locked and her phone close just in case.

  She wrapped her arms around me in a tight hug. She whispered in my ear, “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing.” I straightened. “I just have a bad feeling is all. Be careful.”

  Once she was shut in her apartment, I headed back down the hall with Finn and Dustin. Shit. Now what? There were cameras in the hallways, I knew that. If I went home, maybe Mark would see and he’d leave my friends alone. But then Dustin would be at my door and Finn wouldn’t have any protection.

  “You’re staying at my place, right?” Finn asked, oblivious to Dustin’s presence. Or uncaring. He also didn’t seem to care that we were being watched. Could Mark hear us, too?

  “I don’t know…” I swallowed, suddenly wishing I hadn’t had so much to drink. What was I supposed
to do?

  “It’ll be safer,” Finn insisted, tugging my hand. “Come on.”

  My stomach twisted. What if Mark saw? Would he be angry?

  “I should stay home tonight,” I murmured. Closer to Paige. That way Dustin could look out of for her, too.

  Finn propped his hands on his hips. “Then I’m staying here.”

  “No, Finn—that’s not a good idea,” I said. I used the wall to steady myself as I pulled out my key card and fumbled for the slot.

  “Can you give us a minute?” Finn asked Dustin.

  He took the card from me when I failed to get it in the slot the third time. It was as much from nerves as it was the wine.

  Dustin dipped his head in an easy nod. “I’m going to do a sweep of this floor and then I’ll be out here if you need me.”

  “All night?” I asked, frowning.

  He offered a small smile. “Someone will relieve me in a few hours.”

  Finn ushered me inside the apartment, closing the door behind us, and faced me. “Tell me.”

  “Wh-what?” I leaned down to take off the heels.

  When I wobbled again, Finn wrapped his arm around my waist. “Let’s sit.”

  My head spun and I clutched his shirt in my fist as he helped me to the couch. “That chocolate cake was really good.”

  “I’m glad you liked it,” Finn said, sitting next to me. But his face was stony.

  He smelled good. Like a vacation. Somewhere exotic. I turned to him, my hand squeezing his leg.

  “We should go there again. The restaurant,” I said.

  A small smile touched his lips but didn’t reach his eyes. “Whenever you want. Charlotte—”

  “Do you think there are cameras in here?” My gaze swept the corners of the room. The curtains and windows. Everywhere I could think that there might be a camera.

  Finn frowned. “We didn’t plan the apartments to have cameras. Privacy.”

  “But I mean…” I swallowed, lowering my voice. “Do you think they’re in my apartment?”

  “Like someone put them in here?” Finn shook his head. “Powell did a sweep of the place. There aren’t any cameras.”

  I blew out a breath and faced Finn. Before he could speak again, I put my arms around his neck, straddling him in one quick movement. “I can’t lose you,” I said, meeting his eyes.

  “Charlotte.” Finn brushed my hair back from my cheeks. “I’m right here. What—”

  I squeezed his neck tight, burying my face in his shoulder. “You should go back to your place. It’ll be safer.”

  I hadn’t meant for the words to come out of my mouth. The wine was making me too loose, too ready to talk to him when what I really needed to do was get him out of here.

  Finn gripped my arms, pulling me away from him so he could see my face. “You’re not telling me everything.”

  “Finn—”

  “No, Charlotte. This isn’t a game.”

  I blinked. “I know. I know, Finn. I…in the restaurant…I got a horrible feeling and I’m scared.”

  His face softened. “You don’t have to be scared. Mark can’t get to you.”

  But he already had. He’d gotten to me and now I was afraid there wasn’t anywhere safe.

  Touching his cheek, I said, “I need to make sure you’re safe. I think you should go—”

  “Not going to happen.”

  “Finn, please. Oh, God, Finn. You have to understand.” The note of urgency in my voice made him narrow his eyes.

  I couldn’t help it. If anything happened to Finn or someone I cared about, I couldn’t handle it.

  “I understand you’re scared. I understand you want to keep me safe, but I can’t go. Ask me anything, but don’t ask me to leave.”

  He stood with me still in his lap. I wrapped my legs around his waist and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Then be with me, Finn. Just for tonight.”

  “Forever,” he murmured.

  The word shot straight to my heart. Then twisted inside of me. I didn’t know if I could give him forever. I didn’t know if I could even give him tomorrow.

  But for now, this had to be enough.

  I fused my lips to his, kissing him with everything I had. I wouldn’t let even a breath of air between us. Fumbling with the collar of his shirt, I undid one button and then the next.

  Finn walked us to my bedroom, through the dim hallway, and into the dark space. He slapped the wall, trying to find the light switch.

  “Lamp,” I mumbled, breaking away from him for a moment.

  He set me on the bed and walked around to the lamp. It filled the room with a soft glow. Finn worked at the buttons on his shirt but I scooted across the bed to stop him.

  Resting my hands over his, I said, “Finn.”

  His heart beat fast under our linked fingers. “Yes?”

  “I think…” My throat was suddenly dry. The pure love I saw in his eyes made the words come loose. “I think I’m falling in love with you.”

  His gaze locked on mine, voice almost hoarse when he said my name. “Charlotte.” He gathered my hands in his and tipped his forehead against mine. “I know that wasn’t easy for you. I’m…it means a lot to me.”

  “I know.”

  His lips pressed against mine, soft but urgent. I pulled him down onto the bed and straddled him again. He reached for me but I shook my head. “My turn.”

  “Charlotte,” Finn rasped.

  I undid the rest of the buttons on his shirt and helped him out of it. Then I slid my fingers down his chest, stopping just above the lip of his jeans to run my finger across the band. His breath hissed in, and I was moved with tenderness for him.

  All my thoughts of Mark, all the worries that wanted to push their way in, were silenced. I wanted—needed—this time with Finn. To show him that no matter what happened, I still cared about him.

  With a quick pull, I had his jeans unsnapped. I slid them down, along with his boxers, and eased off the bed to pull them from his legs. He leaned up on his elbows, eyes hungry.

  So, I smiled and inched my dress up. Over my thighs, my stomach, and then over my head. My bra and panties were a simple black, edged in lace that tickled my skin.

  Finn exhaled and sat up, reaching for me once more. I walked into his arms, letting him bury his face against my chest.

  “You smell good,” he murmured, his breath warm on my breast.

  I ran my hands through his hair, tugging at the back so he’d lift his face to mine. “So do you.”

  I traced his lips with my tongue and then slid inside, deepening the kiss until his hands couldn’t seem to hold still. They roamed up my back to unlatch my bra, and then skimmed my sides and around my front to trace my stomach down to my panties. He hooked a finger in them and lowered them slowly, all the way down my legs, until I stepped out.

  Finn cooperated when I pushed him back on the bed. I crawled on top, arching over him, as his hands came up to cup my breasts.

  My low moan was full of pleasure and love, an ache for something more. Something we might never have.

  When I eased him inside of me, he echoed the moan, hands dropping to my hips. His cock was long and hard inside of me, filling me full and pulsing with the need for release. I rocked back and forth, reveling in the friction and the feel of his hands on me. He reached down, thumb pressing against my clit as I swiveled my hips. A flash of white shot through my vision.

  “Finn,” I gasped.

  I could barely keep moving as the first wave of pleasure overtook me. And in another flash, Finn had flipped me onto my back. My eyes flew open and met his.

  He pulled my knees up and slid into me again, filling me with warmth. “I love you,” Finn murmured, eyes full on my face.

  Heart racing out of control, I nodded and brushed his cheek with my thumb. And then he plunged. Once, then twice, until he set a steady rhythm that had me grasping at the sheets. He squeezed my breasts and then put his mouth to my nipple, teeth against flesh, making me ride another wave of bl
iss.

  “Finn,” I said, breathless. “Please.”

  He picked up the pace, body quick as we merged over and over until he drew in a breath. He shuddered against me and then swept me up in his arms as he climaxed.

  “Charlotte. God,” he said, arms clenching around me.

  I held him close and let our hearts race together.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  The next morning, sunlight streamed through the window from the open curtains. Half of me was sprawled on the bed and the other half on top of Finn. I did what I could to untangle myself without waking him and then pulled on a robe before leaving the room. My eyes felt heavy, my whole body aching for more sleep.

  But I had things to do. I needed to talk to Curtis.

  While I made my coffee, my phone dinged with a text. I tensed immediately. Snatching it up, I opened the message and froze. It was a picture of Paige. She had her hair up, a smile on her face as she walked. It looked like she was in the Commons.

  I squeezed my fist against my chest. When had this been taken?

  I yanked open the front door and jumped when I saw Dustin.

  “Ms. Evans,” he said.

  “Dustin. I thought you were going home.”

  “I did. Just came back about twenty minutes ago. Everything okay?”

  “Do you know if Paige has left her apartment this morning?”

  He glanced down the hallway, instantly going alert. “Brett was here before me. He said no one had come or gone on your floor. She should still be in there.”

  “Good. I…is Curtis in today? I think I need to talk to him.”

  “Of course,” Dustin said. He pulled out his phone. “I can give him a call, see if he can come on up.”

  “No. I mean, no I’d rather go to him.”

  “I’ll walk you there.”

  Nodding, I backed into the apartment. “Give me twenty minutes.”

  As quietly as I could, I grabbed a pair of jeans and a sweater before giving Finn one last look. He was peaceful, lying on his stomach and facing the window, where light streamed across his face. He’d always been able to sleep through noise or light. I envied him that. Right now, all I wanted was to climb back in bed with him and fall asleep to the sound of his breathing.