by E. L. Todd
“And they trust you?”
“I’m a pretty smart guy. I’ve never lost anything.”
“Ever?” That was hard to believe.
“At least not yet,” he answered. “About a year ago, I had a really high profile client. We actually met on the town. He gave me a lot of money to invest in smaller markets. I turned it around and made him five times what he put into it. And I got an enormous payout because of it. He told his fellow billionaires and word spread. Now a lot of people turn to me.”
“That’s impressive,” I said. “I’m proud of you.”
His lids became hooded, and the emotion in his eyes gave him away. “Thank you, Muffin.”
He kept using my nickname. I wished he wouldn’t but I couldn’t tell him that. Actually, I liked hearing it, in a twisted and complicated way.
“I can give you the world—if you let me.”
“I don’t want the world, Hawke. I’ve never wanted it.” There’s only one thing I’ve ever wanted, and he was standing right beside me. Rich or poor, it had no bearing on the man Hawke was. I’d fallen in love with him because of his soul, not because of his success.
He tilted his head slightly as he regarded me, his lips looking kissable. I wanted to suck his bottom lip then give him my tongue. “What do you want, Francesca? Name it and I’ll give it to you.”
Unless he had a time machine, it was impossible. “You can’t give it to me, Hawke. No one can.” I turned away and watched Marie. She gave me comfort while I had this dark conversation with Hawke.
His hand moved to my cheek, and he forced my gaze on him. His thumb brushed across my skin then stopped at the corner of my mouth. He stared at me possessively, like I was his.
I melted at his touch, pathetically. My body and heart were his for the taking. I couldn’t protect them no matter how hard I tried. He could take anything he wanted, even if it was all of me.
“I love you.”
The words echoed in my mind, and my stomach did somersaults. I already knew he loved me even if he never said it. When we used to be together, we hardly ever said those words to each other. But we didn’t need to. It was so obvious that it was practically redundant to say.
Hawke stared into my eyes as he waited for me to say it back. The need was there, burning right on the surface. He leaned closer to me, his thighs pressing against my knees. He was pressuring me silently, commanding me without giving an order.
“I’m desperately and pathetically in love with you.”
***
When Marie had enough and could barely keep her eyes open, the night was over.
“I need to get her home.” She was slumped in a chair, practically a corpse that could still vomit.
“Are you sure you can handle it on your own?” Hawke asked. “Because I can help.”
“No, it’s okay.” I shook Marie’s arm. “Babe, wake up. It’s time to go home.”
Her face was on the table and her eyes were closed. Her mouth was gaping open.
“Marie, come on.” The rest of the girls left, so I was stuck with the big girl job.
She didn’t move.
Hawke eyed her unresponsive body. “I think you need my help.”
I hated admitting I needed help from anyone.
He took off his jacket and wrapped it around her body. She didn’t seem cold, so I wasn’t sure why he did it. When he lifted her from the chair and cradled her in his arms, I understood. He was covering the opening of her dress, where her ass would be sticking out. “Where am I taking her?”
“To her apartment.”
“You think Axel should see her like this?”
“He knows what to expect,” I said. “Besides, he can take care of her in the morning.”
“Okay.”
Together, we walked up the street and headed to her apartment. It was just a few blocks away so we walked in comfortable silence. Marie was passed out on his shoulder and oblivious to everything around her.
“Is she heavy?”
“Lighter than air.” Hawke walked in stride like he wasn’t carrying a human being at all. He was a solid slab of muscle so it shouldn’t be surprising.
We arrived at her apartment building then knocked on the door. It was three in the morning so Axel was probably asleep.
“Are her keys in her bag?” Hawke asked.
“I’m sure they are but I’d rather have Axel answer the door.”
Axel opened it a moment later, his hair messy and his sweatpants on. He wasn’t wearing a shirt, and his eyes were squinted like he’d just woken up. “Is she okay?”
“Just drunk off her ass,” I explained.
Axel stepped aside. “Put her on the bed.”
Hawke carried her into the bedroom then returned. His jacket was back on.
“Wait,” Axel said. “Why were you there?”
“We ran into each other,” Hawke explained. “And Frankie needed help carrying Marie.”
“She’s gonna be a pain in the ass tomorrow,” Axel said as he ran his fingers through his hair. “But I’m glad she’s okay. Did she have a good time?”
“She had too much fun,” I said.
“I’m not gonna ask.” Axel began to close the door. “Thanks for bringing her home.”
“No problem,” I said.
Axel shut the door and left us alone on the threshold.
Hawke turned to me, and the look in his eye told me our night wasn’t over yet even though it was three in the morning. “My place is just a block over. Let’s go.”
“Whoa… Who said I was coming over?”
Hawke grabbed my hand, encompassing my small fingers in his. It was the first time he gave me this kind of affection, something innocent but intimate. “I did.”
***
A slave to my emotions, I walked into his bedroom and kicked off my heels. I knew I should leave. No good would come from staying there. My heart was still broken from the last time he shattered it, and I was making myself vulnerable all over again.
But I stayed.
I sat at the edge of the bed still in my tight dress. I would have to borrow clothes from him.
Hawke removed his shoes and jeans. But he didn’t stop there and kept going. Slowly, he pulled his shirt off until he was just in his boxers. The bulge in the front was distinct and noticeable.
My throat went dry.
He stood in front of me without breaking eye contact. Then he grabbed the brim of his shorts and pulled them down his long legs. He stood in front of me completely naked, looking like a Greek god chiseled in stone.
I squeezed my thighs together. He was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. His stomach was tight with muscles, and the endless lines and grooves made him into a work of art. His thighs were thick and toned, and his chest was as hard as steel.
I knew I was wet without even checking.
Hawke inched toward the bed until he kneeled before me.
I stopped breathing. We were face-to-face, and he was on his knees. This kind of contact made me burn hotter than the sun. I kept my hands in my lap but I desperately wanted to touch him. I purposely squeezed my thighs together in an effort to stop them.
Hawke gripped my thighs with his hands then gently guided them apart, opening my legs to him.
I could have kept them closed. He was guiding me but I still had the control. But I allowed him to do it.
When they were parted, he moved between them until his chest almost touched mine. His face hovered near me, and his lips were just an inch away. Every breath he exhaled landed on me. I tried to control my breathing and pretend I was calm but it wasn’t working. My chest rose and fell rapidly because I was both excited and scared.
One hand left my thigh and snaked up my dress. When it traveled over the bare skin, it made me shiver. He felt every inch of my skin, concentrating on the area between my shoulder blades. Then he reached the back of my neck where he unclasped the top.
My dress became loose and the straps fell, but my chest was
still covered.
Then he moved to the zipper at the top of my ass and pulled it down as far as my body would permit. The fabric slowly slid down my chest, falling below my breasts and my stomach until it rested in my lap.
I took an involuntary breath when I was exposed to him.
Hawke moved his gaze to my chest and stared at it without any shame. My body was his as far as he was concerned. He studied it like an artist judges a painting. Then he slowly guided me onto my back and pulled the dress down the rest of the way. It slid off my hips until it was past my ankles. Then it was gone. All I wore was a tiny black thong that hardly covered anything.
Hawke stared down at it without blinking before he gripped it with a single hand and pulled it off.
I continued to let him undress me even though the logical part of me knew I shouldn’t. This would only make it more difficult for me to live without him. It was a mistake, and I knew it was a mistake. But I wanted to make it anyway.
Hawke looked down at my naked body with appreciation. His eyes didn’t burn in desire like mine did for him. He looked completely different, and his thoughts were unreadable to me. His cock was rock-hard and practically throbbing, but that was all I could make out.
Seeing him naked intensified my desperation. I wanted him so much, just like I did in every dream. I missed the way our bodies moved together in the throes of passion. I already knew how it felt because we’d made love so many times, but it still felt like the first time.
Hawke wrapped his arm around my waist then guided me up the bed until my head rested on a pillow. He still hadn’t kissed me yet, and I was anxiously waiting for it. This had disaster written all over it, but I would deal with the regret in the morning.
Instead of positioning himself on top of me, he lay beside me. He turned on his side then yanked me into him. My leg was pulled over his hip, and his arm hooked around my waist possessively. Our faces were pressed close together, but no kiss followed.
Touching his body like this felt so good…it actually made me writhe. He wasn’t doing anything to me, not the things I liked, but I was still in agony. Just feelings his skin against mine gave me more satisfaction than sex with anyone else.
Hawke took a deep breath like he felt it too, like he desperately wanted me but was satisfied with this at the same time. The intimacy and vulnerability was taxing to both of us. There was nowhere to hide. Our hearts and souls were laid bare, nothing obstructing them from reaching each other.
The anticipation before a kiss was sometimes better than the kiss itself, and feeling our bodies tangled together, pressing up against one another, was making me squirm. But I loved how in tune we were. It was just him and I and nothing else.
He pulled me closer to him, and we became a single being. My tits were pressed into his chest and my nipples were hard from the touch. His face was close enough for a kiss but he never leaned in. His eyes were wide open and he stared at me, not looking at my naked body. He just stared into me, seeing my soul. Only he could recognize it because it was identical to his own.
And when I stared into his eyes, I saw his too.
Breakfast
Hawke
I was up early because it was impossible for me to sleep in. No matter how late I was up, I was still awake by eight the following morning. Francesca was the opposite of me. She could sleep forever if no one disturbed her.
I went for a morning jog, and when I got back, I made breakfast. I cooked French toast, eggs, and bacon. But it sat out for nearly an hour because she hadn’t woken up yet so I ate without her.
At noon, she finally woke up.
She came into the living room with messy hair and smeared make up. She wore one of my t-shirts, and her beautiful body was covered. She squinted as she ran her fingers through her hair. “What time is it?”
“12:30.”
She cringed. “The day is already gone.”
“Hungry?”
She rubbed her flat stomach. “I skipped a meal today. I’m starving.”
I reheated the food then set it on the table.
She plopped down, still a little hung over. “This looks good.”
“Thanks.”
“Aren’t you going to eat?”
“I already did.”
“Oh…” Her face fell in embarrassment. She picked up her fork and kept her gaze averted as she ate.
I sat beside her at the table and watched her.
“When did you wake up?”
“Eight”
“What have you been doing?”
“I went for a jog then did some work from my laptop.”
“Geez…you’re making me feel lazy.”
“You are lazy.” I gave her a teasing look before I touched her foot with mine under the table.
She kept eating until her plate was wiped clean. “That was good. Thank you.”
“I don’t mind cooking for a beautiful woman.”
She stilled at that comment, and I wasn’t sure why. Then she took the plate to the sink where she rinsed it before placing it in the dishwasher. “Do you mind if I use your shower?”
“Of course not.”
She walked into the bathroom then locked the door behind her.
Knowing she was in the shower made me think of her naked body. Her skin was flawless like it’d never been exposed to the elements. It was smooth, and feeling my body pressed against it was naturally soothing. But it was arousing at the same time. I had a hard-on pretty much the entire night. While I was insanely attracted to her, all I’d wanted was to feel that connection between us. It wasn’t about sex. It was about feeling at home. She grounded me, gave me a world where I could feel safe. I’d lived without it for so long, and now I couldn’t handle it anymore.
I needed it.
When she came out of the shower, her hair was still a little damp, but her face was clean. She changed in the bedroom then came out wearing the cocktail dress she wore the night before. Her legs were simply stunning. “Well, thanks for breakfast…” She grabbed her clutch then turned to the door.
She thought she was leaving?
I left the table then came to her side. “I was going to watch a Katharine Hepburn movie. Want to join me?” Francesca liked watching old movies. I was indifferent to them, but I thought it was cute she enjoyed them so much.
She gripped her clutch like she was uncomfortable. Regret was written all over her face. She wished she hadn’t stayed here the night before, hadn’t lain naked with me in that bed. Nothing happened, but in actuality, a lot did. Now, she was backpedaling, knowing our relationship was becoming too much for her. She needed to keep her distance, and she knew she wasn’t succeeding at that. “I really should get going. I have laundry to do…”
“I can go over there.” I had her cornered.
“I need to do some bookkeeping too—for the shop.”
This time, I gripped her hips and positioned her in front of me. “Francesca, stay with me.” I didn’t want her to slip through my fingers. Every time she questioned what she was doing, I had to erase her doubt. I wouldn’t be another mistake. She could trust me.
When my hands were on her, she struggled to resist me. The defeat was in her eyes. She didn’t want to be anywhere else but here—with me. “I can’t stay too long.”
I smiled because I knew that wasn’t true either. She’d spend the night again.
***
We curled up together on the couch, with her lying on top of my chest. The blanket covered both of us, and while the world continued on around us, we sat frozen in time.
Instead of watching the movie, I watched her. My hand fisted her hair while the other remained hooked around her waist. The small of her back was so prominent. It was one of the things I was most attracted to. I used to kiss that area while she lay on her stomach, and the touch would drive her wild. I still remembered all the little things she loved…like I could ever forget.
The movie just ended when her phone started to ring.
I wanted to turn it off.
Francesca glanced at the screen. “It’s Marie.”
My hand was still in her hair, anchoring her to me.
She answered it. “Hey, how are you feeling?” She listened to her response on the other line. “That bad, huh? I can’t say I’m surprised. You got a little crazy there.” She listened again. “Sure, I’ll swing by and bring you something.”
Goddammit, Marie.
Francesca disconnected then sat up. “Marie wants me to bring her some soup.”
“Axel is busy?”
“He says he doesn’t want to leave her.”
Fucking pussy.
“It’s just as well,” she said as she stood up. “I should get going anyway.” She pulled her heels on. The same regret came into her eyes when she realized she spent the entire afternoon with me. She wanted to be close to me, but she also wanted to move on from me.
“Want me to walk you home?”
“I can handle it.” She grabbed her clutch and fluffed her now dry hair. “I’ll see you later.” She avoided eye contact and headed for the door.
I grabbed her by the elbow before she could leave. I turned her toward me, keeping my hand on her. “I’ll see you later.”
A slight expression of surprise moved into her eyes. She clearly expected me to ask her to stay. As much as I wanted to hold her down and never allow her to leave, I knew that wouldn’t get me anywhere—not with her.
***
Cassandra texted me. What are you doing tonight?
I met Cassandra a few weeks ago at a bar. We hooked up, and since she was surprisingly good in bed, I invited her over a few more times. It surprised me how many women were okay with a purely physical relationship. Perhaps good sex was hard to come by.
I didn’t respond because Axel immediately texted me afterward. Lunch?
I eyed the clock and realized it was noon. When I was working, the time flew by. Where?
Firebrick?
It was an Italian place just a block over from my office. K.
I hadn’t spoken to Axel since I dropped Marie off. He didn’t know what was going on between Francesca and me or that I was getting close to regaining her trust.
