Third Time's the Charm

by K. Evan Coles

  Finn winced. “Look—”

  “Yeah, yeah, you just want to be friends. I get it.”

  “You’ll think this is cheesy, but it’s not you, it’s me. Luke and I don’t throw titles around, but I’ve never been much of a player. If I like a guy, I’m happy being with him and only him.”

  “It’s a shame for me you’re not slutty, but I can deal with it.” Chad knocked his shoulder against Finn’s. “Besides, I like hanging out with you. You’re a good guy. Plus, you need someone to remind you to be selfish on a regular basis. It’s okay to put yourself first once in a while, Finn. You should try it sometime.”

  Finn thought back to something Paul had said earlier in the summer after Finn and Luke had started seeing each other.

  ‘You deserve happiness for yourself, and it’s on Luke to make sure he’s giving that to you.’

  Finn picked up his glass and tapped it against Chad’s. “Putting myself first sounds nice. So here’s to being selfish.”

  Chad swallowed down a healthy mouthful of beer and set his glass down with a thunk. “When’s the last time you went out to a club?”

  “Fuck, I don’t know. Since I moved here, I think.”

  Chad uttered a long-suffering sigh. “That changes tomorrow, doll. You are coming out for dinner with me, and I’m not letting you go home until the sun comes up or we need to call for bail money.”

  Finn laughed. “Oh, God. What have I done?”

  Chapter Fifteen

  You’re fucking this up, a voice in Luke’s head whispered. He glared at the line of code he’d been testing and tried to clear his mind, but the words looped round and round his brain like an earworm he couldn’t shake. The little voice was right, too—something was off with Finn and Luke didn’t know how to fix it.

  This past summer had been the best Luke’d known in a long time. He’d gone on actual dates, as in staying out past ten o’clock and acting—mostly—like an adult. He’d made new friends in Paul and Mick and had watched Simon and Gillian draw Finn into their circle. And every day, whether he saw Finn or not, he’d fallen deeper in love and his desire to have Finn in his life intensified.

  Unfortunately, the happy Finn-bubble Luke had been living in since June was cracked. His time for dates was gone, swallowed up by Ella’s class schedule, activities and lessons outside of school. Not that Luke minded being there for Ella. He wanted that. Ella deserved Luke’s attention and presence, and he knew she counted on him in Peter’s absence.

  Luke’s project load at GLS had also increased, and most nights, he logged back in to the office after he’d put in his miles on the treadmill. He still managed to connect with Finn on Saturdays with Ella, but otherwise, the only time alone he could count on involved meeting Finn in between his hospital shifts. But while Luke looked forward to any time they could get, Finn seemed less than happy with the arrangement and Luke in general.

  Why can’t I get this right?

  Luke rubbed his eyes as a headache built behind them. He couldn’t be in two places at once, but fucking hell, he was doing a terrible job of being a man in love.

  “Hey, Luke?”

  Simon’s voice snapped Luke back to the present. “What’s up?”

  “I thought I’d head over to the Park Plaza early for our meeting at three, maybe grab a coffee on the way. You wanna walk with me?”

  “Sure.” Luke saved his work and put his computer to sleep. He slipped it into his bag and grabbed his phone but found Simon watching him, a quizzical expression on his face.

  Luke rose and picked up his jacket. “What?”

  “Are you okay?”

  “Sure. Why?”

  “I don’t know. You’ve been quiet this week. Like, hardly making any noise whatsoever, and that’s not like you.”

  Luke settled the jacket over his shoulders. He didn’t feel in the mood to talk about anything serious unless it had to do with software applications.

  “Aren’t you the one who’s always telling me to stop muttering to myself?” he asked.

  “Yes, but that doesn’t mean I don’t notice when it’s not happening, you bozo,” Simon said, and they turned toward the door. “We’ve been sharing work space for the better part of our adult lives and a part of me will always expect to hear you talking to yourself while you code.”

  Luke wanted to laugh at his friend’s words but a lump rose in his throat instead.

  Oh, hell.

  He moved ahead of Simon toward the exit and waved at Gillian when she called out a ‘good luck’. He and Simon were outside the building and in the middle of the sidewalk when Simon took hold of Luke’s elbow.

  “Hey.”

  Luke bit back a groan “Simon, I don’t—”

  “Yes, well, I do.”

  Simon moved to stand in front of Luke, effectively blocking his way. The genuine concern in his eyes made Luke feel even worse.

  Simon sighed. “Pickle, what’s going on?”

  “Nothing. I just have a lot on my mind.”

  Luke wasn’t lying. Between work and life, he had an enormous amount on his mind. Nevertheless, while he didn’t feel like talking, he recognized the determined gleam in Simon’s eye. Gently, he pulled his arm free of Simon’s grasp.

  “Can we not do this right now? I don’t… We can talk later, but right now, I need to focus on the work.”

  Simon pursed his lips. “You’re okay, though, right?” he pressed. “You and Pete and Ella? I don’t have to, you know, worry about any of you?”

  “Yes, we’re okay. Pete and Ella are fine.” Luke took hold of his friend’s hand and squeezed while relief filtered over Simon’s face. “I promise. This is just me thinking too much and getting moody.”

  “Okay. But I’m coming over after dinner with Ella tonight and feeding you beer until you talk.”

  “Good thing I’m out of beer,” Luke muttered.

  Simon’s lips twitched into a smile. “I’ll pick some up on the way back to your place.”

  “And just a heads-up, Pete and Ella will be chatting.”

  “Awesome. I feel like I haven’t talked to Pete in forever!” Simon let Luke go and his worried face smoothed out. “C’mon, let’s get that cup of coffee.”

  * * * *

  Luke focused on the work and slowly turned his afternoon around. Then, as he left to pick up Ella, Finn messaged and that put a real smile on Luke’s face. The words in their little speech bubbles progressed from flirty to filthy, and by the time they met Simon at the diner, Luke felt literally hot under the collar and a lot less stressed about his relationship fizzling out like a used-up bottle rocket.

  “El, are you finished?” Simon asked, his voice light.

  Luke smiled. Simon was eyeing the remains of Ella’s plate of mac and cheese, just as he did nearly every Friday.

  “I think so,” Ella said. “Do you want the rest?”

  “Seems a shame to waste it.” Simon shrugged. The gleam in his eye belied his nonchalance though, and Luke saw Ella’s next move a mile away.

  “Tell you what—I’ll trade you my leftovers for a joke.” She flicked one long braid over her shoulders while Simon stared at her for a good ten seconds. He actually appeared alarmed.

  “I…don’t know any jokes that aren’t dirty, Ella. Every one I can think of is at least R-rated.”

  “Tell me!” Ella exclaimed, and Luke held up a quelling hand.

  “Nope. You repeating Simon’s dirty jokes is the last thing any of us needs.” Luke nudged Ella gently with his elbow when she pouted. “How about I tell one in Simon’s place and he does me a favor later?”

  Ella thought about it for a moment. “That’s fair,” she said at last and turned a beady eye on Simon. “It has to be something really nice, you know, even if it’s not a thing you like.”

  Simon made a face. “Ugh. Maybe this isn’t a good idea after all,” he began, but Ella’s attention had already shifted back to Luke.

  “Okay, go.”

  Luke schooled his expressi
on. “What animal goes ‘Oooooooooo?’” He kept his face straight while Ella racked her brain. Finally, she shook her head.

  “Tell me.”

  “A cow with no lips.”

  “Oh, my God!” Ella burst out laughing. Her eyes sparkled and she pushed her plate toward Simon, who managed to appear both irritated and amused even as he thanked her. “Remind me to tell that one to my dad tonight,” Ella told Luke.

  Simon grumbled. “How did this terrible joke habit begin again?”

  “I don’t know.” Luke hummed. “It started after Ella learned to read, that much I remember. She memorized some jokes from the milk cartons in school, and I learned some as a form of retaliation. Honestly, they’re a nice break from harder questions.”

  Simon narrowed his eyes. “Harder questions?”

  “Like how come you don’t order your own plate of mac and cheese?” Luke replied brightly.

  “Or how come you never bring a boyfriend to dinner?” Ella added. She laughed at Simon’s scowl.

  Luke chuckled too, though the question made his heart burn. Ella and Finn had reached an accord in their interactions, but he was still not welcome to their Friday night dinners.

  “One, I don’t want a whole plate of pasta—a quarter plate is plenty,” Simon replied. “Two, while I am seeing someone right now, I haven’t decided if he’s special enough to invite to dinner with you.” He gave Luke a crooked grin across the table. “Besides, Luke and I used to go out about a million years ago, and on nights like this, it’s almost like we’re boyfriends.”

  Luke shook his head. “No, it’s not.”

  “So not the same thing,” Ella agreed. “How come you guys broke up anyway?”

  “Simon wasn’t in love with me.” Luke raised his hands at Simon’s theatrical gasp. “You weren’t, dear, and we both know it. Besides, we’re much better suited as friends than boyfriends.”

  “That’s true.” Simon smiled at Ella. “I love Luke in my own way and that’s why he’s been my best friend for longer than you’ve been alive.”

  Ella’s jaw dropped. “Holy shit, you guys are old.”

  “Ella!” Luke groaned as she and Simon burst into giggles, but he didn’t mind the wisecracks. Ella and Simon’s uncomplicated fun was a balm for him after having been so caught up in his head for the last several days.

  Luke soaked up their continued antics after they left the diner to walk home. He wandered slightly ahead and stopped at the curb where Stuart Street intersected with Clarendon Street while he waited for the others to catch up. The sound of laughter caught Luke’s ear and he glanced to his right in time to see a familiar figure on the next block. Gladness flashed through him until he understood what he was seeing.

  Finn and another man were headed in Luke’s direction, both immersed in conversation and watching each other instead of where they were going. Finn’s fine black clothes spoke of plans for a night out, and his handsome face was animated. He looked happy, Luke thought, and about a thousand times more at home with the man at his side than he ever did at Luke’s.

  Oh.

  Everything inside Luke clenched. He knew that man. He’d been at the baseball game last night with Finn. He’d taken Luke’s ticket and his place. Luke froze, right there in plain sight of Finn and his friend, with nowhere to hide. But the man from the baseball game stopped walking before either of them glanced Luke’s way. He pulled open a door and gestured Finn inside with a smile, then they were gone, leaving Luke still standing on the sidewalk, his hands stuffed in his pockets and his whole world changed.

  * * * *

  The next several hours passed in a strange, numb kind of vacuum for Luke. Back at his place, he and Ella whipped up a pan of brownies while Simon bought beer, then the three of them played Crazy Eights while the brownies baked and cooled. He didn’t have to force a smile during the video conference with Peter because Peter told them he’d be back in the States by mid-October. He couldn’t give them an exact date, but Ella’s skyrocketing excitement had been contagious and lifted even Luke’s heavy spirits for a time.

  However, once Ella went to bed, Simon immediately retrieved the six-pack from the refrigerator and jerked his head at the hall leading to Luke’s bedroom.

  “Let’s talk, Pickle.”

  The cold, tight feeling inside Luke broke apart as they climbed out of his bedroom window to the balcony. Simon handed Luke a beer, and if his ‘thank you’ sounded gravelly, Simon didn’t mention it. They sipped in silence for a while, watching the traffic below on Storrow Drive and the boats on the river beyond.

  Luke inhaled the cool evening air and wondered how to begin. Now that the time to talk had come, he wanted to, even though he knew it would hurt once he got going. In the end, Simon simply leveled his eyes at Luke and words started bubbling out of him without his even thinking.

  “I saw Finn out with another man tonight.” Luke blinked, surprised by what he’d said, and his stomach twisted at the umbrage that streaked across Simon’s face.

  “You what?”

  “Wait, no.” Luke closed his eyes. “Fuck, that’s not how I wanted to start.”

  “Okay. How did you want to start? And when the hell did this happen?”

  Luke opened his eyes and found Simon frowning. “After dinner on our way back here. I don’t know what they were doing, but it looked like a date.” Luke grimaced. “Fuck, for all I know, he’s been seeing this guy all along.”

  Simon rested his elbows on the railing. “Explain that to me, if you would.”

  “I never asked Finn if he was seeing anyone,” Luke said. He felt stupid and sad as he said the words, and his heart ached. “I just assumed he’d stop if he were because I am an entitled asshole.”

  “No, c’mon.” Simon reached over and brushed the knuckles of one hand against Luke’s. “I think the two of you got your signals crossed, is all. You should talk to him about it, Luke.”

  “How? ‘Hey, I know it’s never come up, but I think it’d be cool if you stopped sticking your dick in other people.’” Luke winced at Simon’s bark of laughter.

  “Okay, wow.”

  “The worst part is knowing I don’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of competing with another man anyway. Not with Ella and Pete and…fuck, everything.” Luke waved vaguely at the apartment behind them. “I can’t keep up with someone who doesn’t have so many constraints on his time.”

  Luke ground his teeth when Simon shook his head. “I’m not wrong, Simon.”

  “I think you are. You just need to figure out how to make the time you do have work better for you.”

  “What do you think I’ve been doing?” Luke asked, his voice strained. “I haven’t been able to keep a date with Finn for weeks, unless it’s meeting at his place to fool around in the middle of the afternoon.”

  “I don’t understand why you say that like it’s a bad thing,” Simon mused. “Most people would be envious of the way you spend your lunch hours. I know I am.”

  “It’s not a bad thing at all, but it’s the only thing I’m capable of the majority of the time, and that’s not fair to Finn. He was going out to dinner tonight, probably somewhere very nice. I’ll bet he had great food and wine and is still out there because it’s Friday night and that’s what single guys who aren’t me do.”

  “Not all single guys. I’m here with you, aren’t I?”

  “Yeah, but you’re not my boyfriend—you’re seeing Miles,” Luke protested. “And we both know you’re only here because you pity me and you’re trying to get me drunk so I spill my guts.”

  “I don’t pity you, you jackass—I pity me for having to listen to you whine.” Simon groaned. “Besides, my plan is working, right? Hell, you haven’t even finished one beer and you’re already blabbering out of control.”

  Luke smiled but the knots in him didn’t loosen one bit. Somehow, Simon guessed as much.

  “Luke, the first time we talked about this, I told you not to write off the good doctor without giving him a c
hance,” Simon said. “That hasn’t changed. It’s a mistake to assume your responsibilities with Ella are going to drive him off.”

  “I’m not assuming anything,” Luke said, his voice soft. “It’s started happening, Simon. You forget—this is something I’ve seen before. I can feel him pulling away. And I’m not sure there’s anything I can do to stop it.”

  Simon watched him for a moment and slowly nodded. “Okay. Explain it to me. But first, give me two minutes to get something from inside.” He set his beer down and headed for the window.

  “Where are you going?”

  “To grab the bourbon and some glasses from your liquor cabinet.” He flashed Luke a grin. “I have a feeling this conversation calls for more than beer.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  “Hey, Ella?” Finn tapped her shoulder as they set the table for brunch on Saturday morning. “Is Luke okay?”

  Luke sure didn’t seem okay. He looked pale and tired and as far from relaxed as a person could be. Every time he met Finn’s gaze, a crease appeared between his eyebrows followed by a quick grin that didn’t warm his eyes.

  Ella glanced toward the kitchen where Luke was holed up, her expression troubled. “I think so, but… I don’t know,” she said. “He’s been working late a lot, and he had a headache this morning. He seems tired. I think he’s stressing because my dad’s coming back soon, too, and we have lots to do to get ready.”

  Finn smiled. “Hey, that’s great. About your dad coming back, I mean.”

  “I know.” Ella beamed at Finn. She seemed genuinely happy, and he watched, amused, as she bounced on her toes.

  “Excited?”

  “I can’t wait!”

  Neither can I, Finn thought. He didn’t feel even a little guilty. He was all for Luke’s brother getting back home safely, especially if that meant Luke got a personal life back and had more time for Finn.

  Ella ambled off once they’d finished setting up, and Finn went to the kitchen to check on Luke. Luke stood at the stove, wrangling a skillet of scrambled eggs and somehow looking more stressed than ever.