Third Time's the Charm

by K. Evan Coles

  “Hey.”

  Luke started and almost spilled the contents of the pan, and Finn’s trickle of concern sharpened. He moved swiftly to Luke’s side. “Whoa, you okay?”

  Luke set the heavy skillet back on the stove with a grunt. “I didn’t hear you come in.”

  Finn slipped his arms around Luke’s waist. “What’s the matter?” he asked. He gave Luke a gentle shake when Luke pushed his lips into a thin line. “C’mon, handsome. Talk to me.”

  Some of the tension leaked out of Luke’s frame. “Sorry. I know I’m kind of a mess.”

  “Maybe more than kind of.” Finn smiled as Luke looped his arms around Finn’s neck. “What’s going on with you today?”

  “Got a lot on my mind, I guess.”

  Finn hummed. Non-answers weren’t like Luke at all. “Ella told me her dad’s coming back soon,” he prodded and Luke’s face lightened slightly.

  “She did, huh?”

  “She seems pretty stoked.”

  “Everyone is. You have no idea.” Luke pressed his forehead to Finn’s and closed his eyes. “We talked last night and went through logistics and timing for mid-October. That could change, but I’m just relieved he’ll be on the same continent again.”

  He sniffed. “I’m, um, also hungover.”

  Delight bubbled up in Finn’s chest. “Wait, what? What the heck went on during dinner last night?”

  “Simon made boilermakers after dinner and after Ella went to bed.” Luke wrinkled his nose. “I only had two and a half, but clearly, they were enough to hurt my brain.”

  “That half will always get you.” Finn smoothed the hair off Luke’s forehead with one hand. Luke leaned into the touch and the corners of his lips twitched up. “Ella said you had a headache.”

  “Meh. Serves me right. I’ll take some ibuprofen after we eat and that should fix me up.” He opened his eyes again and, though his smile faded, the affection in his expression did not. “Thanks.”

  “You’re welcome.” Finn pulled him in for a quick kiss, mindful as always of Ella in the rooms beyond. He went still when Luke’s hold on him tightened.

  Finn let Luke take the lead, and his insides heated. Luke lengthened the kiss, and while it was slow and careful and still relatively chaste, it carried a sweetness that tightened Finn’s chest. His heart was pounding by the time Luke pulled away, and the way his eyes shone made Finn feel about ten feet tall.

  “I’m glad you’re here,” Luke said. He let Finn loose and turned back to the pan of eggs. “I know it sounds ridiculous considering we ate lunch together on Wednesday, but I missed you.”

  Finn watched Luke’s shoulders tense again. What the hell is going on? he wondered.

  “That’s not ridiculous at all,” he said, then stopped when Ella dashed in.

  “Hey, Luke!”

  “Hey, Ella.”

  She held up a black USB key embossed with an orange GLS logo. “I found this on the floor and I think it’s Simon’s.”

  Luke peered at the key over his shoulder. “You’re right. I’ll bet it fell out of his pocket when he got changed last night.” He scraped the eggs onto a platter. “Will you ask him if he needs it before Monday? My phone’s by the couch and it’s unlocked, so you can use it.”

  “Okay.”

  “Don’t call anyone else.”

  “I won’t,” she said over her shoulder, already on the move. “BRB!”

  “I mean it, Ella!”

  “I know, Jeeze!”

  Why would Simon get changed here?

  Finn’s gut curled but he forced himself to smile. “BRB?”

  “Be right back.”

  “Ah. And Simon stayed over?”

  “Yeah.” Luke chuckled. “I didn’t want him risking life and limb on the stairs after the bourbon. Besides, it was the least I could do after he listened to me bitch about my problems all night.”

  “That seems fair,” Finn replied. He kept his tone light. Knowing Luke had turned to Simon again for support, though…that stung.

  Finn held his hands out for the platter of eggs. “You can talk to me, too. You know that, right?”

  Luke paused in his movements. “Yes, I do.” He met Finn’s stare and handed over the eggs, then turned to the counter. “I figured you were busy last night, that’s all.”

  Discomfort wormed its way through Finn. He’d been busy, yes, enjoying dinner and drinks and a night out dancing with Chad. Not that he had anything to be ashamed of. He deserved time to unwind, too. Finn had needed a break from thinking about why this thing with Luke suddenly seemed so complicated.

  He sighed. That was part of the problem—he didn’t know what he and Luke had together. Their light and flirty fun had matured and now, nearly four months later, Finn was attached. He thought Luke was too, but what if Finn was wrong?

  Luke scooped up the plates loaded with sausages and the bagels Finn had brought, and Finn followed him out to the table. Once their hands were empty, Finn took hold of one of Luke’s.

  “I had dinner with a friend last night,” he said. “But I’m here now if you want to talk.”

  A softness stole over Luke’s face. “Okay. How about after we eat?”

  Ella slid over the floor in her socks and almost crashed into both of them.

  “Oops.” She snickered. “Simon said you can give him the USB key on Monday but not to look at it because it’s full of incriminating photos,” she said, enunciating the last two words with care. “What does that mean?”

  “That Simon is a punk with a weird sense of humor,” Luke said. “Though, knowing him, he’s probably telling the truth.” He squeezed Finn’s fingers a final time before he let go. “Come on. Sit down and get your brunch on with me.”

  Finn and Luke did talk after brunch and caught up after having missed each other during the week. More than once, Finn caught a glimpse of something he couldn’t place on Luke’s face—something raw and intense. Then Luke would reach out and touch Finn and the flash of emotion would disappear.

  Luke also surprised Finn by inviting him over for Sunday dinner. The evening went much as Finn had expected, and he enjoyed himself thoroughly. They ate lasagne and salad, then watched Star Trek re-runs while Ella worked on a color theory project for school. She was friendly toward Finn, and even told him one of her many terrible jokes. He dozed off beside Luke on the couch around seven-thirty and Luke let him sleep, which left no time for fooling around before Finn had to go to work. Luke kissed him for a long time at the door, though, and gave Finn’s ass a squeeze. His gray-green eyes were filled with promise as they said goodnight.

  He showed up at Finn’s door every day for lunch after that, armed with takeout and an impish smile. The food went uneaten, however, because Finn couldn’t resist him. Not that he tried very hard because he wanted that closeness with Luke, and Luke seemed so eager. The sex was amazing, incendiary even, but the quiet times afterward spoke to Finn’s soul. Times like right now when they both lay boneless and content and told stupid stories to make each other laugh until Luke went back to work.

  Finn put his hand over the arm Luke slung around his waist. “You need any help getting ready for Pete’s homecoming?”

  “I don’t think so, no.” Luke kissed Finn’s shoulder. “I’m having dinner with my parents on Sunday and we’ll divvy up tasks, like his cell phone and car insurance, and restock the stuff he needs.”

  “Where does Pete store his car? In your parking space?”

  “Nope. He stores his Chevy Silverado in my parents’ garage, much to their dismay.” The humor in Luke’s voice made Finn laugh even more than the idea of Luke’s parents driving a big pickup.

  “That’s a whole lot of truck,” he mused. “Do your parents mind giving up the space?”

  “Nah. They mind that Pete won’t let them drive it while he’s gone. Well, Pops minds. He’s obsessed with Jennie and it kills him that he can’t touch her.”

  Finn blinked. “Your brother named his truck Jennie?”

&nbs
p; “Yes, he did.”

  “Okay.” Finn laughed. “I can’t imagine Brad behind the wheel of a pickup at all, by the way.”

  “I know!” Luke rolled up on his elbow. “I have no idea why the old man wants it so bad, but he’s been talking about Jennie ever since Pete drove her back from Quantico before he shipped out.”

  “I’m surprised he doesn’t just do it. It’s not like your brother would ever know.”

  “Aha, he can’t. Pops doesn’t have the keys, and neither do I.” Luke’s eyes twinkled merrily and he rolled again, this time away from Finn to sit up. “Pete leaves his keys with Simon along with a list of who is and is not allowed to claim them.”

  Simon again. That figures.

  Finn tucked his hands under his head. “This gets better and better. Are you on the list of privileged few?”

  “Of course,” Luke scoffed gently. “Though it’s Ella who’s on the list—I’m only the driver. I don’t take advantage of the privilege much, though. I’m just not that into Jennie.”

  “Oh?” Finn scooted over and pressed a kiss to Luke’s hip. “Too much woman for you?”

  Luke hummed and carded his fingers through Finn’s hair. “Afraid so. I don’t even have a car. I just rent a Zipcar if I need one.”

  “Who parks in your space?”

  “My downstairs neighbor. I rent it to her cheap since I don’t need it.” He yawned. “Anyway, Simon’s got a couple of weeks to make sure Jennie’s running okay while my folks figure out the insurance. He’s probably already started, but I help out, too.”

  Finn suppressed a sigh. He didn’t like talking about Luke’s best friend while naked. Truth be told, he didn’t care to talk about Simon much at all these days, something he knew was terribly unfair. Finn liked Simon. He was excellent company and a good friend to Luke, not to mention an important part of the Ryans’ lives. Unfortunately, his presence in Luke’s world had grown so large Finn sometimes felt it ate up any remaining room for other people. People like Finn.

  Finn closed his eyes as Luke bent down and pressed another kiss to his shoulder. His breath warmed Finn’s skin when he spoke. “You around tomorrow?”

  “Mmm, no. Working tonight and a weird midday shift tomorrow.” Finn grumbled. “I’ll probably resurface sometime late Friday afternoon.”

  “Right in time to start the weekend.”

  Finn opened his eyes and found Luke watching him. He traced one of Finn’s cheekbones with a fingertip. “What about Saturday? My parents have Ella for the afternoon and I thought maybe you and I—”

  “I can’t,” Finn cut in quietly. “I’ve got a work thing on Saturday. There’s a golf tournament in Rhode Island—a fundraiser—for the Cancer Center at the hospital. The ED and trauma docs put their names into the lottery to play and I won.”

  Finn licked his lips. He’d never expected his name to be picked. He hadn’t thought to mention it to Luke, either, whom Finn had assumed would be unavailable to play anyway. Besides, Finn ate brunch with Luke and Ella every Saturday unless he was working—missing one occasion didn’t seem like a big deal in his mind. Now, as Luke’s sunny expression clouded, Finn wondered if he’d miscalculated.

  He stroked Luke’s waist with his fingers. “I meant to tell you before today, but it slipped my mind. I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t worry about it,” Luke replied quickly. He smiled but that crease was back between his eyebrows. His expression had grown worried again, even as he ran his hand over Finn’s hair. “I didn’t know you were a golfer.”

  “I played in high school and during my time as an undergrad, but that all stopped after I started med school. I maybe play once or twice a year now. I’ll be lucky not to embarrass myself.”

  “I doubt that.” Luke leaned down for another kiss then got to his feet. “You’ll be great.”

  The silence that followed seemed heavy and awkward in a way things never were with Luke. Finn lay still in the bed, watching Luke gather his clothes, and frowned when he started dressing. They’d wiped each other down after sex, but Luke typically showered before returning to work.

  “No time to get wet today?” he asked. He meant to tease but the words fell flat, and Luke just looked apologetic.

  “I’d love to, but I’ve got a meeting at two.” He smoothed his tie down with both hands. “I need to get back and prep.”

  He eyed Finn and ran his teeth over his bottom lip for a moment before he moved back to the bed. The uncertainty in his face had Finn sitting up.

  “What’s up?”

  “Would you mind if I came by on Sunday? If you’re not going to be busy, I mean.” The tips of Luke’s ears turned red. “Monday is a school holiday and I have a road race in Salem that morning. With the way our schedules have been lately, I may not see you again before next weekend.”

  Finn stared at his lover. Would he mind if Luke came by? He loved that Luke wanted to see him, but the idea of another beautiful, golden afternoon followed by more waiting for Luke to have free time again… Slowly, Finn shook his head. It didn’t feel right.

  “I don’t know, Luke,” he said.

  “What do you mean?”

  “I don’t think these afternoons are working for me anymore.” He pursed his lips. “I mean, you and I have such a good time, but more and more, it’s like this is all we can manage instead of a full evening together.

  “I’m not trying to give you shit about Ella,” he said hastily. “I know she needs you and I respect the hell out of you for being there for her, but I don’t see much of you at all these days. We got together over the weekend, but outside of that, the only time you’re around is at lunch when you want to fuck.”

  Luke paled. “That’s… Is that what you think this is? Why I’m here?” he asked, his voice hushed.

  A hollow feeling fell over Finn. “No. Maybe. Damn it, I’m not saying this right.” He sighed, his frustration rising.

  Why is this so hard?

  “I like spending time with you, I really do. Fuck, it’s more than like. These afternoons are the best parts of my day! But they don’t feel like enough for me anymore.” Finn ran his hands through his hair. “I see you, what, maybe once a week outside of this room? We don’t get any time to be with each other anymore, and I miss it. I don’t know. I want to feel closer, you know? Connected. To know I’m not just a distraction. I’m sure that sounds sappy, but it’s true.”

  He scratched his head at the distress on Luke’s face. “I’m not trying to make you feel bad and I don’t even know if I’m making sense. But things have changed for me.”

  “You are absolutely making sense,” Luke replied. “There’s nothing sappy about what you want, but God, I wish I knew how to tell you how wrong you are about the way I feel.” Hurt flashed in his eyes and he held Finn’s hand tight between his own.

  “The time I spend with you isn’t a distraction, Finn. I love it. I love being with you and around you, and I wish I could offer more than Saturday brunch or burgers and reruns while Ella does her homework.”

  Finn’s heart sank. Luke wasn’t getting it. “No, that’s not what I mean—”

  Luke plowed on. “Any time I get to spend with you means a lot to me. I know it could be better, but my schedule’s so weird, and I thought that coming here like this would help keep things from…”

  Abruptly, he let go of Finn and put the hand over his face. “Fuck. I’m so bad at this.” Misery was plain in every line of his body when he dropped the hand again and Finn wanted to kick himself.

  “Shit, Luke, I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t.” Fire filled Luke’s eyes. He grabbed hold of Finn again, this time his touch so soft it bordered on tentative. “This is on me. I’m sorry, Finn. I never meant to make you feel bad or think I spend time with you just for sex. God, I’m so embarrassed that—” He stopped and pressed his lips thin. “I’m gonna go.”

  Startled, Finn stood when Luke did. He dragged the sheet around himself. “Luke, wait—”

  Luke’s phone c
himed and he gave Finn a pained smile. “Let’s, um, table this for now, okay? I need some time to think. To figure out how to make this work better and stop fucking up all the time.”

  Finn caught hold of Luke’s wrist and pulled him in. Luke’s body was wound tight like a bowstring set to snap, and Finn ached as he carefully gathered him close.

  Damn, I really hurt him.

  “You’re not fucking up,” Finn murmured. The slow shake of Luke’s head told Finn he didn’t believe it. “You’re not, Luke. I don’t want you thinking that at all.”

  “I know,” Luke whispered. “But I am, Finn.”

  Finn sighed. He knew Luke well enough to feel certain he’d spend the next several days beating himself up over this. “I have time off next week,” he said. “Let’s talk, okay? I’ll bring dinner for you and Ella and we’ll talk it all through, okay?”

  Luke stayed silent while Finn rubbed circles between his shoulder blades with one hand and held him. Luke’s body relaxed a fraction. He rested his hands on Finn’s waist and kissed his cheek. He went still, as if he meant to speak, but his phone chimed again and he stepped away. He didn’t look back as he made his way to the door.

  Finn wished he’d held on tighter.

  Chapter Seventeen

  “I have a joke for you,” Ella announced as she and Luke walked away from her after-school program.

  “Oh, yeah?” Luke cast a sidelong glance down at her. “Hit me.”

  Ella’s eyes gleamed. “What do penguins eat for breakfast?”

  “Hmm.” Luke pretended to think. When they stopped at an intersection to wait for the traffic flow to change, he shrugged. “I give up.”

  “Ice Krispies.”

  “Ugh. That is terrible.”

  “I know!”

  Luke’s lips twitched into a semblance of a smile at Ella’s gloating. “Make sure you tell your dad that one the next time he calls.”

  “Oh, yeah.” Ella skipped beside him. “I’m gonna tell Simon at dinner, too.”

  “Simon’s not coming tonight.” The traffic signal changed and Luke held his hand out to Ella. “He went out of town with Miles, the guy he’s been seeing.”