Third Time's the Charm

by K. Evan Coles

  “Is that why you don’t want him spending time here?”

  “I thought if you didn’t see each other a lot, you wouldn’t fall in love.”

  Luke’s eyes stung. “Oh, El. Love doesn’t work that way. You don’t have to spend a lot of time with a person to fall for them. Besides, I’m pretty sure I started falling for Finn the second he opened that silly umbrella for me.” Maybe I’m an insta-love kind of person after all, he thought.

  Luke rubbed Ella’s back. “What made you think I’d move away?”

  Ella let out a long sigh. “My mom left. And my dad. I thought… I didn’t want you to leave, too.”

  The weight of Luke’s sadness nearly overwhelmed him. Ella had always been a happy child. She shared her father’s sunny, can-do attitude toward life and was one of the most open and loving people Luke had ever met. Even so, her mother’s desertion and the upheaval that marked her early life had left scars behind. They broke Luke’s heart any time they showed themselves.

  He squeezed Ella’s hand. “Your dad is coming back, honey.”

  “But then he’ll leave again!” Ella’s tears brimmed over and fell onto her cheeks. She dashed at them with her free hand. “He stays for a while, then he goes away, and it keeps happening over and over again, and I hate it.”

  “Your dad goes away because his job takes him to other places,” Luke said, pitching his voice low to soothe her. “You could go with him, if that’s what you wanted, and live on base instead of here with me. You’re older now and maybe you don’t need Gram and Pops or me as much. You and your dad can change things if that’s what you want.”

  “But I do still need you and Gram and Pops. If I didn’t live here, I wouldn’t get to see you or them.”

  “You’d see your dad every day, though.” Luke hauled in a big breath. The idea of Ella leaving Boston hurt like a physical blow. “I know how much you miss him, and he misses you the same. I hate that you have to spend time away from each other.”

  Ella wiped at her tears. “Do you want me to go live somewhere else?”

  “Never.” Luke smiled sadly. “But this isn’t about what I want. It’s about you. And what you need to be happy, El. Your dad, Gram and Pops, me—all we want is what’s best for you.”

  “I don’t want to choose,” Ella croaked. She sobbed once as Luke pulled her into a hug. “I miss my dad so much, but I don’t want to leave here either. I want to stay here with you and Gram and Pops and Dad. Can that happen?”

  “I don’t know.” Luke rubbed circles into her back and swallowed his tears. “But let’s talk to your dad when he gets home. I know he’ll want to make this work better for you and I’ll bet he’ll have a ton of ideas about how to do that. And let me tell you right now that you can always, always talk to me, okay? No matter where we go or how old we get. Even if we live apart, and even if we hate each other’s boyfriends. Or girlfriends, if it turns out you like girls.”

  “I don’t hate Finn,” Ella murmured. “He’s pretty okay.”

  “Yeah, he is.” Ella sniffled against Luke’s shirt. “You’re making a mess on me, aren’t you?” he asked.

  “No, I’m not.”

  “You’re lying. I can tell.” The soft laugh that followed eased some of Luke’s hurt. “It’s okay,” he said and gave Ella another squeeze. “I’ve never cared for this shirt anyway.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  Finn took a seat at the nurses’ station in the Emergency Department early on Sunday morning, his body fatigued and his mind distracted as he updated patient notes. He’d spent the previous day tooling around the links and had eaten an excellent dinner afterward with the charity organizers and participants. After driving back to Boston with Chad, he’d dropped off his Zipcar and come straight to the hospital for a lively night shift that only now was beginning to mellow. Through it all, his mind continued circling back to Luke.

  Luke had gone too quiet in the last several days. He responded when Finn reached out but didn’t initiate texts or calls himself, and Finn heard hesitation in his voice whenever they spoke. Luke sounded anxious and sad, too, and uncertain in a way Finn had never known him to be.

  Finn hated that he’d had a hand in that. Hated that he’d made Luke feel awful the last time they were together and still hadn’t done a thing to make things right again. He and Luke needed to sit down again and really talk, interruptions and the world be damned. More to the point, Finn needed to tell Luke he cared about him. Even if Luke didn’t feel the same way, he deserved to know.

  Finn rubbed a hand over his face. Fucking hell, I want to see Luke. Ella too, for that matter, and isn’t that just the craziest thing?

  “You missed a hell of a ballgame yesterday.” Paul took the seat beside Finn. “Though the way you look now makes me wonder just what kind of golfing you were doing. Did you play drinking games in between holes, Finn?”

  “Shut up. And, no.” Finn chuckled, his eyes still on the monitor. “I probably had three beers all day.”

  “Then why do you look like hammered garbage?”

  “Because I stayed later than I should have in Newport and didn’t nap before coming here,” Finn replied. “It’s my own fault. I should have skipped the dinner and come back to sleep.”

  “Aw. At least the photographers at the event got your good side. Not that you have a bad side.”

  Finn paused his work and faced his friend. “What are you talking about?”

  Paul eyed him for a moment then drew his phone from his pocket. “You and Chad are on the front of the Arts & Leisure section in today’s Globe,” he said as he tapped the screen. “I figured you’d seen it already.”

  Finn blinked, sure his friend had to be joking until Paul handed him the phone. Sure enough, among other photos taken during the tournament, there were Finn and Chad standing side-by-side, faces rosy from sun exposure and smiles wide.

  “I thought the photos were for the MGH newsletter and website,” Finn said, mostly to himself. His mouth nearly fell open when he read the caption: Finn Thomason, MD, with his partner, Chad Lawry. “What the hell is this?”

  Paul shrugged. “Mick and I figured they meant ‘golf partner’ and didn’t really think about how it would read in print.” He paused. “Unless you and Chad have something you want to tell us?”

  Now Finn’s jaw really sagged. “Why would I have anything to tell? You know Chad and I are just friends.”

  “Sure,” Paul agreed, though the tightness around his mouth belied his easy words.

  “What, you don’t believe me?”

  “No, I do,” Paul protested. He held his hand out for the phone. “You haven’t seemed happy about things with Luke lately, that’s all. You’ve been spending a lot of time with Chad, too, and—”

  “So you assumed I’d start screwing around and lie to you about it?” Heat flashed across Finn’s cheeks. “Chad’s single and easy to hang with, without anything else going on. I’m capable of being friends with a guy I’m not sleeping with, you know.”

  Paul’s face fell. “Well, of course. And I didn’t say you weren’t.”

  “Then what are you saying?”

  “Nothing, Finn. Okay, yes, I wondered if things had changed between you and Chad, especially after seeing Luke the other night, but—”

  Finn held up a hand. “Wait, what? When did you see Luke?”

  “Friday after work, for a few minutes. He stopped by on his way to pick up Ella and gave us the tickets to the game after you said you couldn’t go. He seemed down.”

  “What game?”

  “Yesterday’s baseball game at Fenway,” Paul said slowly. “I sent you photos.”

  “Yeah, I got them, but I didn’t know Luke gave you the tickets.”

  “I don’t understand. Luke said he asked you first and you backed out because of the golf tournament.”

  “Luke asked me—” Finn paused and thought about his last real conversation with Luke. His stomach fell to his feet. “Luke asked me if I had plans for Saturday an
d I told him about the golf thing. Shit. I didn’t even let him finish his question, Paul. I just told him I was busy.”

  “Maybe he figured he shouldn’t bother asking once he heard you were doing the charity thing.” Paul’s expression grew troubled. “Luke knows you were golfing with Chad, right?”

  “No, but they’ve never met. I’d be surprised if he had any idea who Chad was.”

  “I don’t know.” Paul shook his head. “You brought Chad to the game a couple of weeks ago, remember? Luke had to have seen the two of you flirting on TV while he watched from home.”

  Finn remembered. He hadn’t been flirting with Chad, but he’d never thought about how their interactions might appear to someone on the outside looking in, either. Say, through the filter of a television screen. Hell, if Paul and Mick were questioning Finn’s relationship with Chad, who knew what Luke might be thinking? And if he’d read the Arts & Leisure section today …

  Quickly, Finn pulled his phone out, intent on calling Luke, but paused when he noticed the time. It wasn’t even six in the morning and Luke was probably still sleeping. He didn’t need Finn’s messages about another guy. Another guy who wasn’t even that kind of guy to Finn.

  Ugh.

  Finn rubbed his face again. “I think I fucked up.”

  Paul reached over and patted his knee. “Maybe not. Talk to him. You’re both off tomorrow, right?”

  “Yeah, but he’s racing and I’ll be sleeping off my shift. I’ll pass out on Luke if I go over to his place this afternoon.”

  “Just don’t sit on a couch. Or, fuck, pass out on him! Luke already knows what you’re like after a long shift and I doubt he truly minds. Maybe he’ll fall asleep with you.” Paul waved a hand at Finn. “You’re off for a couple of days after tomorrow, so take your man out for dinner and talk it out. Make him dinner if he can’t get a sitter. No one says you can’t be romantically delicious just because there’s a kid around, Finn.”

  “The kid’s name is Ella,” Finn replied. He imagined Ella’s expression at Paul’s words and smiled. “She would spurn your romantic advice so hard, you know.”

  “That’s only because she hasn’t met me yet.”

  “She could.” Finn shrugged. “Ella’d probably like you. I know she’d like Mick.”

  “Everyone likes Mick.” Paul turned back to his terminal with an exaggerated sigh. “Why don’t you and Luke set that up? I’ll baby proof the apartment and hide the remote control for the DVR before you bring her over.”

  Finn barked out a laugh. “Ella’s ten, Paul, and her uncle is a tech nerd. Odds are she understands how to work your DVR better than either you or Mick.”

  Paul’s answering laughter soothed him. Finn liked the idea of Ella meeting his friends. Obviously, he and Luke needed to talk first and smooth out the wrinkles that had formed between them over the last several weeks. But Paul had a point. Finn could still romance his man with Ella around—that was what he should have done all along. Separating himself from Luke’s family had worked when they were still getting to know each other and Finn had wanted Luke all to himself. However, things were different between them now and it was time to erase the line he’d drawn to separate himself from the rest of Luke’s life.

  That’s why Luke’s been coming over, Finn thought abruptly. The afternoon visits to Finn’s were Luke’s way of staying close while giving Finn what he’d asked for. No wonder he’d looked so crushed by the things Finn had said last week. Man, I really messed things up.

  Finn glanced down at his phone again and this time didn’t stop himself from tapping out a message.

  I’m done at 8 today. Can I bring you breakfast?

  * * * *

  Once more, Finn’s insides were a nervous mess as he climbed the winding staircase to Luke’s door. He felt charged up, too, like he’d been chugging Red Bull instead of patching people up all night. That energy deflated once Finn stood face to face with Luke and got a good look at him, however. There were shadows under Luke’s eyes and he looked pale and fretful in his dark jersey and joggers. Still, he gave Finn a small smile as he closed the door.

  “Hey, Finn.”

  “Hey.”

  Finn set the bag of bagels on the floor and wrapped Luke up in a hug. Luke went stiff for a moment, but then his arms came up and Finn closed his eyes.

  God, it felt good to be near this man again.

  “I’m sorry things got so fucked up the last time we saw each other,” Finn said, his voice low. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, Luke, and I said some things—”

  “It’s okay.” Luke sighed against Finn’s neck. “I mean, it’s not okay but I get why you weren’t happy with the way things have been going between us.”

  “No, you don’t.” Finn drew back and scanned Luke’s face, and he almost winced at the sorrow he read there. “I didn’t get a chance to say what I wanted to that afternoon and that’s not like me. It was like my brain shorted out and all my filters failed, and I’m so damned sorry that I hurt you.” He rubbed Luke’s shoulders with his hands. “Can we talk? I’d like a chance to make sense this time, if you’ll let me.”

  “Of course. I’m okay with talking.” Luke gave a helpless little shrug. “I’m glad you’re here. After the other day, I didn’t know what to expect anymore.”

  What a mess.

  Finn stooped so he could grab the bag of bagels from the floor. He slipped an arm over Luke’s shoulders after he’d straightened back up. “C’mon. Let’s eat so my brain works while we talk.”

  Luke didn’t look any happier. “Finn, no. This can wait until you’re rested.”

  “Yeah, but I’d rather not,” Finn said. “I don’t like how we left things the other day and I don’t want to wait anymore to talk about it.” He glanced around then, struck by the apartment’s silence.

  “Are you here by yourself?” he asked. “Where’s Ella?”

  “She’s out with my parents doing some food shopping for the overnight in Salem,” Luke said. He led the way to the kitchen and went straight to the cabinet for coffee cups. “Pops is making club sandwiches for dinner tonight and, of course, I don’t have the right kind of turkey, cheese or bread.”

  They discussed Luke’s race strategy over bagels and cream cheese with fresh fruit from Luke’s pantry and a carafe of coffee. Finn knew they were running on borrowed time—Ella and her grandparents would soon be back and they’d all head north to Salem. Still, Finn hesitated talking about the heavy topics for a while longer so he could simply enjoy being around Luke again.

  Luke had different ideas, of course, and soon pushed back his empty plate. He met Finn’s eye. “Who is that guy from the baseball game?”

  Finn set down his coffee cup. “Chad is a friend of mine. Well, a friend of friends, to be more accurate. I met him through Paul and Mick.”

  “You’re seeing him, right?” Luke exhaled through his nose. “We never talked about seeing other people and that’s fine. I guess I’d want to know about it, though. Is that weird?”

  “No, but—”

  “I saw you with him on the street a couple of Fridays ago near Two Guys and a Grille. I recognized him from the game.” Luke said. His expression grew flinty, as if he were bracing himself for bad news. “You guys looked friendly, then the paper today… Well, I wondered who he was to you.”

  Oh, wow.

  Finn almost checked to make sure the floor hadn’t dropped out from under his feet. “Why didn’t you say something before now?”

  “You didn’t mention him, and I didn’t know what to make of that. I had no idea how to bring it up without coming off like a possessive asshole.” Luke ran a hand over his mouth and lowered his gaze. “It didn’t feel right getting in your face over someone we’d never even talked about.”

  “Damn, I’m sorry.” Finn put his hand on Luke’s arm where it lay on the table. “Chad’s a friend, Luke. It never occurred to me I’d need to tell you about him specifically because he’s just a guy I know and sometimes hang with. He’s
unattached and doesn’t work weird hours, and that makes it easy.” Finn swallowed at Luke’s nod. “We’re friendly, but there’s nothing going on between him and me.”

  Luke met Finn’s eyes and everything about him screamed of weariness. “I started thinking you’d gotten tired of waiting around after I canceled on you so many times.”

  “No.” Finn frowned. “It sucked that you didn’t have time for me, but I understood why it was happening. As far as waiting around, okay, I didn’t love feeling like that. That’s what I tried to tell you the other day. I wanted to talk about it, though, not stop seeing each other. It’d take more than some canceled dates for me to ghost.”

  Luke pursed his lips. “I know I shouldn’t have assumed, but I couldn’t help thinking about what happened with other guys I dated and seeing it happen with you,” he said. “Every time I canceled, you seemed to slip a little further away.”

  “I know what you mean,” Finn said. “I felt like we were slipping too and I didn’t like it. I should have done a better job saying that the other day. I wish you’d told me how you were feeling, though. About Chad and how you felt about the way things have been going between you and me.” He worked at keeping the hurt out of his voice. “I know you have Simon, but I want you to talk to me too, Luke.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You go to Simon with the serious stuff, and I get that. He’s your best friend, and his opinion is important to you.”

  Luke furrowed his brow as he considered Finn’s words. “I go to Simon because I need advice about you, Finn. He and Gillian listen and try their best to keep me from going off the rails and usually do a pretty good job,” Luke said. “I’ll bet Paul does that for you when you need it, right?”

  Finn blinked, caught by the observation. “Actually, yeah. I never thought about it that way, but he’s always there for boyfriend advice.” He bit back a smile at the way Luke’s cheeks pinked.

  “Right.” Luke cleared his throat. “There’s nothing I’d tell Simon that I wouldn’t tell you. As long as you wanted to hear it.”